Daddio Patio

Snowed in doing jenkem

We were snowed in, so we decided to do a remote episode. We didn't record during all of 2024, our resolution was to record one episode in 2025. So now we can relax for the rest of the year. Thank God. 

The Sims

Kermit the Frog here

Channel 9 Locker Room

After a few months we're back. Anyway what would you paint on your pirate ship? 

We closed out 2022 with Daddio Patio's Green Ranger Dan Goedeker. Sleepy hats, Sega Saturn, and Jared Fogle's fat jeans. What does it all mean?

Thanks a million for nothin'. 

We were out in New England with no recording equipment, so we did it the old fashioned way. In the cold New Hampshire rain, we talked about Dunkin Donuts and a few other sociopathic topics. Congrats to our buddy Cobra. We love you. Is this episode listenable? You decide. 

Is intelligence a winning evolutionary trait? Obviously not, because it took them so long to add a backlight to the Game Boy Color. This week, we're joined by friend and bug expert Chippy. He also brought a giant jungle cockroach and left the lid off of the cage the entire time. Chippy brought some much needed scientific knowledge to the show, anyway what if you could use your ass hair as a weapon in Goldeneye 64? From meatspin to decoding the human genome, this is an episode for the ages. Thanks for joining us Chippy!

A long drive with a lot to think about, joined this week by our buddy Phil. Enjoy.

Battle Bots & Botulism. 

We found this episode in King Tut's tomb and dusted it off for the internet. 

We really went off the deep end with this one. What's it like to be eaten by a shark? Why are the hammerhead's eyes so far apart? If you give an Amish person a GameBoy Color will they ever go back to churning butter? All this and more. 

Another classic dusted off from the archives for your enjoyment.

Here's an episode where 4 subhumans gather in the morning sun and wish they lived in a simpler time - a time when mana, magic, spells, and dragons were everywhere. Was any of that real, or were people just stupid back then? Was life simple and beautiful, or just s h i t t y ? Anyway it's time we revealed John Hammond's true agenda.

This one ain't for the faint of heart. We're talkin' about boogers, wedgies, nipple twists, and all of the other cruel and unusual punshment that older brothers inflict on their younger brothers. This one was 9 years in the making, Lance's little brother finally joins us to defend himself after all of the stories Lance has told over the years. We also briefly mention the philosophical value of comedy, or something like that. Anyway remember when they threw Joe Pesci's whitie tightie wearing corpse in that hole?

Hey remember when we had those snow days? We recorded an episode from the comfort of our homes, but never released it. Now that it's snowing again it seems appropriate. We had dogs growlin and cats howlin but we were still able to talk about some of the classics. Orthodontic scams, Joe Pesci, PB&J's and apes. Catch a fuckin snowflake on your tongue. 

This Daddio Patio classic will have you pumped for the big game. 

What more needs to be said?   - All credit where it's due.

Once again, The Daddios took refuge from 2020 in Andy's basement. They found little comfort, as they were instantly reminded of the house centipede infestation down there in the darkness. They had to talk about the current state of things - masks, the clown dictator, bugs, global pandemic, etc. Seems all bad right? Wrong! At the time of recording Lancey Boy was on the precipice of validating the title of the show -- That's right, becoming a DAD! The first of The Daddios to become a real Daddio. Amazing.  Also, after showing up with shrimp, Collin beats his microphone like Rocky beat his meat. After a few technical difficulties, the boys get back on track. Dr. Sant joins via phone from the tip of a mountain in Colorado!  The world is pretty crazy right now, but still, there is beauty all around. We've found renewed appreciation for the small things amidst the ugliness of 2020. We hope you can too. Thanks for laughing with us. 

Is this an episode? Is it not? Who knows. We do know that the Mummy Ride at Universal Studios is scary. We also know that Stryker was easily the worst Mortal Kombat character. Stryker was the ancestor to Paul Blart.  Anyway this episode comes to you from our new spooky basement studio, we are still working out the kinks and getting the sound right, so bear with us. If you know anything about Daddio Patio, you know that we don't know what we are doing. We genuinely thought we were going to retire after 100, but the Pentagram summoned us and our shared subconscious forced us to make this recording.  Thanks for laughin' with us. It's good to be here. 

Andy lays it all out there, bare and shining for the world to see. Lance gives a stranger the Mandible Claw, Dr. Sant chimes in from isolation, Peach draws a line in the sand with your blood, and Collin wears a tux tighter than an Elvis impersonator.     WE GOT SOMETHIN TO SAY

If you've never listened to Daddio Patio, don't start now, this is very likely our last episode. We tuned up the band for this one and played all the hits. From public restroom humor, to philosophical questions, to observations about the modern world, to raw and unfiltered honesty, we did it all, all over again. Hey, is an above-ground pool really a pool, or is it a tub? Does it have to be in the ground to be a pool? We also did something we rarely do, we broke the 4th wall and talked about the podcast. We shared some of the memories / laughs we had making the show.    -When we started this show in 2013, the world was a different place. This podcast was just a whim that we acted upon one night. We came up with the name Daddio Patio only seconds before we started recording. At that time, our recording device was just an iPhone sitting in the middle of the table. We never imagined it would have any listeners, let alone tens of thousands of downloads from around the world. We never anticipated doing 100 episodes. Many regular / long spanning podcasts are paid or sponsored, ours was primarily an excuse for us to enjoy each other's company, and share some laughs.    Over the years, it's also become a time capsule, and a snapshot of our minds at the time. From profound to absurd, we've said a lot of things. Some were ideas that we still carry, some are not, some were meant to be taken seriously, and some were absolutely, definitely not. Our show was always in pursuit of hilarity and truth at the same time, often seamlessly jumping back and forth.     While the world, and circumstance changed around us, one thing never did: our love for each other, and making this dumb podcast. None of the traveling, moving, stolen laptops, crashed hard drives, or life events could stop us from doing this dumb shit, and that's pretty cool.    We want to thank everyone who was involved with Daddio Patio in any way whatsoever. Whether you made our live shows possible, created artwork, appeared as a guest, called in, wrote reviews, subscribed, or just laughed with us, we truly appreciate you. We hope that Daddio Patio meant something to you.    The future is unknown, and we are pulling into shore for now. Whether or not we ever make another Daddio Patio episode— it doesn't matter. Daddio Patio is infinite, it's forever, it's in us and it's in you. Also, it's a stain on our permanent records, and it's on the internet forever.    Seriously though, thank you for laughing with us.    DAAAAAAADDDDIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKIN PATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo

As promised here's part 2 of episode 99. Again, there are a lot of life events covered in this one. Every member of the original cast makes an appearance, along with many of our prized guests and loved ones. Lance goes from boy to man in this very episode! This episode slowly devolves as insanity and substances take over our minds and conversations. The grand irony of covering our real lives, and life events, is that this episode lands right back where we started, all the way back in 2013— shouting crazy ideas at each other to build a tower of ridiculous imagination, and laugh in unison. Would you eat human meat if it had Sybergs sauce on it?    Lot's of life changes, but it's the same as it ever was. Thanks for listening, stay tuned for episode 100, just over the horizon. We love sending our nonsense out into the airwaves, and we appreciate you  now and forever.

This time on daddio patio we cut our lives in two pieces. This was our last resort. With our show's hosts scattering in the wind, and life events all the time, we decided to take the show on the road. Whether or not you know us personally, this episode is a montage of a few recent life events. Big Peachy Sosa had a birthday, so the first episode covers Andy and Peach living their wrestling fan gimmick lifestyle, and driving to Chicago to see wrestling shows all weekend. Collin, Dr. Sant, and Lance all make phone appearances while they're on the road. There are more than a few cracker barrel stops, and a return to form as andy and peach sell you their favorite products between segments. Be sure to check out part 2 of this episode, as it captures friendship under the stars, Lancey boy's bachelor party, and his wedding. Thanks for listening to Daddio Patio, we love ya.