PODCAST · society
Date, Affirm, The Real
by Marcus Goodwin & Keya McClain
Date, Affirm, The Real (DAR) is a group created to discuss healthy relationship with self, in dating relationship and marriage. The group focuses heavily on black healthy relationships. Our focus is on healthy, healing, positive and affirming love. The discussions range from topics related to all things self-love and healthy relationships.
Episodes
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Unlearning Survival Mode in Relationships
In this episode, Keya McClain the Poet and Shimeka the DAR Therapist unpack what it really means to unlearn survival mode in love. So many of us learned to protect, perform, or please as a way to stay safe - not realizing those same habits can sabotage intimacy, trust, and peace. Together, they...
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Dating and a Financial Deficit: When the Heart’s Ready but the Wallet Ain’t
Love sounds good until real life hits the budget. 💔💸In this episode of Date, Affirm, the Real, Marcus and Don ask the questions most people avoid — should you even be dating if your finances aren’t where you want them to be?Is being honest about money early a sign of maturity or a relationship...
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Men vs. Women? Or Us vs. the Problem?
Are men and women really the problem—or are we just fighting the wrong fight?In this episode of Date, Affirm, The Real, hosts Marcus Goodwin and Don (Jr. Lily) sit down to unpack the tension between men and women in today’s dating and relationship culture. We share our real thoughts and…
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We Just Can’t Recover
We Can’t Just Recover | Date, Affirm, The Real PodcastAfter the end of a true love, “recovery” isn’t always possible — the loss stays with you. In this episode, hosts Keya and Shimeka break down the difference between trying to recover and choosing to move forward. They explore the pain of...
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Less Between the Sheets: Is Having Less Sex Hurting Us—or Helping Us?
Are we in a “sex recession”? 📉 According to new research, Americans are having less sex now than in the 90s—with young adults leading the trend. But is that really a bad thing? On this episode of Date, Affirm, The Real, we break down the article’s findings, why people are prioritizing sex less,...
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When a Woman Has Lust for You
What happens when lust enters the picture? In this episode of Date, Affirm the Real, we dive into the difference between love and lust, what it feels like when a woman has lust for you, and how it impacts dating, marriage, and respect in relationships. From boundaries to energy exchange, we…
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Black men and Vulnerability: Can we be soft in Love?
Hosts Marcus Goodwin and Don (Jr. Lily) get real about ego, upbringing, and the struggle to show love without fear. Is vulnerability strength—or weakness—for Black men?
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Why the 80/20 Rule Could Be Holding You Back
We’ve all heard the 80/20 rule — focus on the 20% that gives 80% of the results. But what if that “rule” is actually holding you back? ⚖️In this episode, hosts Keya McClain the Poet and Shimeka the DAR Therapist break down why the 80/20 mindset may be keeping you from real balance, deeper love…
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If you ain't cheating, You ain't trying
Is cheating really wrong—or just misunderstood? On this episode of Date, Affirm, the Real, Marcus and Don take a bold look at infidelity from the cheater’s perspective. With the phrase “If you ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying” trending in today’s hookup and viral culture, we’re asking: does...
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Not Just a Woman Thing: Menopause, Relationships, & Real Impact
In this episode of Date, Affirm, the Real, hosts Keya McClain the Poet and Shimeka the DAR Therapist sit down with special guest Shulanda Nance-Barnett, certified menopause coach, to talk facts, feelings, and the real impact of menopause—not just on women, but on relationships and life as a...
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From Coldplay to Chaos: When Infidelity Goes Viral
Keya McClain the Poet and Shimeka the DAR Therapist dive into the explosive viral clip of the couple caught cheating at the Coldplay concert. But this isn’t just gossip—it’s a real conversation. They unpack the emotional fallout, public shame, and what it means for relationships in the age of...
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Love Off Script: Unlearning Society’s Rules to Write Your Own Relationship Story
What if everything you’ve been taught about love... is wrong? In this episode of Date, Affirm, the Real, Keya McClain the Poet and Shimeka the DAR Therapist challenge the traditional rules society puts on relationships. From timelines to gender roles, they’re asking the real questions: Do we have...
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Can Red Flags Turn into Green Flags?
Can Red Flags Turn into Green Flags? On this episode of Date, Affirm, the Real, Marcus and Don are keeping it all the way real. We’ve all seen the red flags—but do they always mean run? Or is there potential underneath the surface that’s worth exploring? From mixed signals to personal growth…
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Are They Ready for the Cookout? How family affects datin
In this episode of *Date, Affirm, the Real*, Marcus and Don dive into a question many avoid: "Are They Ready for the Cookout?" Your family can be a window into your future—and their reaction to your partner can reveal more than you think. Should your date meet your family early on? What does…
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Do you even like them…or do you just hate being alone?
Are you really into them—or just afraid of being alone? In this episode of Date, Affirm, the Real, hosts Keya and Shimeka unpack the uncomfortable truth behind settling in relationships. Are you choosing connection or just avoiding loneliness? Let’s talk about the emotional cost of companionship...
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Do you choose a partner like Multiple choice or fill in the Blank___?
Ever feel like dating today is just a big multiple choice test — pick from what's left and hope it's right? In this episode of Date, Affirm, the Real, Keya and Shimeka explore how we choose our partners: Are we truly manifesting and affirming what we want, or settling and filling in the blanks?…
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The Prize and the Pursuer: Analyzing Current Dating Dynamics.
In this episode of Date, Affirm, the Real Podcast, hosts Marcus and Don dive deep into the heart of modern dating with "The Prize and the Pursuer: Analyzing Current Dating Dynamics."Is it okay for both men and women to chase? Or does that signal imbalance and potential failure from the start?…
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Sleeping With Grudges: How Unhealed Hurts Prevent Healthy Love
Can love truly thrive when pain from the past still lingers? In this eye-opening episode of Date, Affirm, the Real, Keya McClain the Poet and Shimeka the DAR Therapist dive deep into the emotional baggage we carry into relationships. From silent resentment to unresolved heartbreak, learn how...
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What the Hell is Black Love
What the hell is Black Love, really? In this episode of Date, Affirm, the Real, Marcus and Don sit down to unpack what Black Love means to them — the beauty, the struggle, the stereotypes, and the questions around whether it's something only African Americans can truly understand. This is a real,...
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No Spark, But Plenty of Matches
Dating with an open mind and intent means being honest and wanting the best for you and those you encounter. You may find them attractive and really nice, however they are not for you and you have the right person in mind. No spark here but a flame is waiting for you. Are you open to it??
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Love Across Two Homes: Rethinking Marriage & Space
Traditional marriage often comes with the expectation of sharing a home, but what if that’s not the only way? In this episode, we’re diving into the concept of married couples living in separate homes—by choice.Could having your own space strengthen the relationship rather than weaken it? Does...
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“Fix It or Hear It?” When Men’s Instinct to Act Blocks Real Connection
"She needed me to hear her… I just wanted to fix it."On this episode of Date, Affirm, the Real, Marcus Goodwin and Don (Jr. Lily) break down the masculine instinct to leap into action—and how it can silently sabotage emotional connection. Is quick action a strength or a smokescreen? We’re talking...
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Emotional Entanglement: Discussing Waffle Minds and Spaghetti Hearts in Relationships
In this episode of Date, Affirm, the Real, Marcus Goodwin and Don (Jr. Lily) get real about the way men and women often handle emotions differently. They dive into the idea that men tend to have "waffle minds," where thoughts and feelings are kept in neat little boxes, while women often have...
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Stop Popping the Balloons
LIVE from El Jefe Cigar Lounge in Dallas, TX! Join all four hosts of Date, Affirm, the Real for a powerful episode titled "Stop Popping the Balloons." We’re breaking down the “balloon popping” concept and digging deep into the real issues behind today’s dating struggles. What are we doing…
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Celebrating Your Partner!
In this episode of Date Affirmed The Real, Marcus Goodwin and Don Jr. Lily sit down to talk about what it really means to celebrate your partner — and yourself. It's easy to get caught up in everyday life, but taking the time to appreciate each other can make all the difference in building…
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Healthy Love Celebrations
Healthy Love Celebrations
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Can you move a Refrigerator? defining your gender role
Are traditional gender roles still relevant when dating with the intention of finding your life partner? In this episode of Date, Affirm, the Real, Marcus Goodwin and Don (Jr. Lily) go into the evolving dynamics of gender roles in dating and relationships. They discuss shifting expectations,...
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stick with the devil you know or patience for the right one?
We’ve all heard the phrase, "Stick with the devil you know rather than the devil you don’t." But when it comes to relationships, is settling for the familiar—despite its flaws—really better than waiting for the right partner? In this episode, we dive deep into the mindset of staying in…
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love, loneliness, or companionship?
"Ever wonder why we chase relationships? Is it love, companionship, or something else? On this episode of *Date, Affirm, the Real*, hosts Marcus Goodwin and Don aka Jr. Lily get real about what drives us to seek connection. They dive into the messy, beautiful reasons behind our search for...
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Men Don’t Like Women
In this raw and unfiltered episode, we’re diving deep into a harsh reality—the ways men’s actions reveal they don’t actually like women. From lying and shaming to cheating and withholding love, we’re unpacking the behaviors that scream disdain, not devotion. How does a man claim to love a woman…
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How will Love be different in 2025?
Join hosts Keya McClain the Poet and Shimeka the DAR Therapist as they discuss how love and relationships are evolving in 2025. In this episode, we explore the shift towards authentic connections, the end of love bombing, embracing what you truly want, and navigating changing social norms. Don’t...
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Listening vs. Fixing: Understanding What Women Need During Tough Conversations
Join Marcus Goodwin and Don (Jr. Lily) as they dive into the dynamics of communication in relationships. In this episode of "Date, Affirm, the Real Podcast," we explore the difference between listening and fixing, and what women truly need during tough conversations. Learn how to foster deeper...
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I got 99 problems, but is my relationship one?
In this episode of *Date, Affirm, the Real Podcast*, Marcus Goodwin and Don (Jr. Lily) explore the typical challenges and deeper issues that men encounter in relationships. From the fear of being vulnerable to uncertainties about commitment and dealing with personal insecurities, they discuss…
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The Right Support System after a Breakup.
Breakup is never easy, and having the right person by your side makes all the difference in your healing. What if you choose the wrong person to lean on? In this episode, Keya McClain the Poet and Shimeka the DAR Therapist go through the proper choice of support after a breakup, as well as the...
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Is Love Worth the Sacrifice Is it a requirement for love
Is sacrifice a requirement for love, or is there a healthier way to create balance in relationships? Join hosts Marcus Goodwin and Don (Jr. Lily) as they explore what it really means to give and receive in love. They’ll get real about how much compromise is too much and whether love should always...
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Finding Forever How to Ask the Right Questions for Long Term Love
In this episode, hosts Keya McClain the Poet and Shimeka the DAR Therapist tackle one of the biggest challenges in relationships—asking the right questions to build and sustain long-term love. We’ll talk about how certain conversations can reveal true compatibility and strengthen your connection...
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Masculinity vs Vulnerability Does Embracing a Softer Role Affect his position in a Relationship
In this episode of Date, Affirm, the Real Podcast, Marcus and Don (Jr. Lily) are getting real about the balance between masculinity and vulnerability in relationships. What does it mean to be a “soft man” versus a “masculine man”? Is vulnerability a strength or a weakness in today’s world? We’ll…
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De-Centering Your Partner.” “The Key to Embracing Your Soft Life Era
In this special live episode, all four hosts—Marcus, Don (Jr. Lily), Keya McClain the Poet, and Shimeka the DAR Therapist—come together in person for the first time to dive into the concept of "De-Centering Your Partner" and how it connects to embracing the soft life era. Tune in as they explore...
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Decentering Men and Women Deciding on Single
In this episode of *Date, Affirm, the Real*, hosts Keya McClain the Poet and Shimeka the DAR Therapist get deep into the topic of “Decentering Men and Women Deciding on Single.” Together, they unpack what it means to embrace the power and beauty of choosing yourself—whether that's through...
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Soft Wife Life: A Lifestyle of Privilege or Entitlement?
In this episode, we explore the growing trend of the "Soft Wife Life." Is it a lifestyle built on privilege, or does it reflect entitlement? Marcus and Don share their thoughts on how this concept impacts modern relationships and what it means for women today. Tune in to hear their perspectives…
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Couples Goals or Couples Fool's Gold
In this episode of *Date, Affirm, the Real Podcast*, hosts Marcus Goodwin and Don (Jr.Lily) take on the concept of "Relationship Goals or Relationship Fool's Gold." Are those picture-perfect relationships we admire truly golden, or just a shiny façade? We unpack the differences between the...
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The Community that Heals Together- Part 1
In Part 1 of our four-part series, "The Community that Heals Together," we focus on the journey of rebuilding relationships and strengthening communities through healing and open communication. Join Shimeka, the DAR Therapist, and Keya McClain, the Poet, as they share valuable insights on…
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Who Rides in the Front Seat? Our Boundaries Implied with in-laws
Ever had that awkward moment of deciding who rides in the front seat—your partner or your in-law? In this episode of Date, Affirm, the Real Podcast, Don(Jr. Lily) and Marcus get real about the mixed signals and unspoken rules that can cause tension in relationships. We’re breaking down the messy...
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Masculine & Feminine Energy or Partnership
In this episode of "Date, Affirm, the Real Podcast," Keya McClain the Poet and Shimeka the DAR Therapist talk about the roles men and women play in today’s society—whether they’re imposed or assumed—and how these roles shape our relationships. They’ll break down the concepts of masculine and...
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My dad is single! The Journey of Single Fathers
Join "Date, Affirm, the Real Podcast" with Marcus Goodwin, Don (Jr.Lily), and special guest Yuel (Chevalier) as we discuss the dynamics of dating single fathers. In this episode, we explore: - The willingness to date a single dad. - Insights on dating a single father with primary custody. -...
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To Be or Not To Be, That is the Marriage
Welcome to "Date, Affirm, the Real Podcast!" In this episode, hosts Marcus Goodwin and Don (Jr.Lily) explore the complexities of modern marriage. Should you be married or not? We'll take a positive look at both choices, delving into the history and cultural significance of marriage. Join us as we...
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High Tolerance of Pain and your Relationships!
High Tolerance of Pain! In this episode, Shimeka, the DAR Therapist, and Keya McClain the Poet, explore the burdens of carrying emotional pain and its impact on relationships. Learn how enduring hidden hurts can affect your connections and discover ways to heal and strengthen your emotional...
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Mind Manipulation for the sake of LOVE
Discover the hidden truths behind "Mind Manipulation for the Sake of Control." 🧠💔 In this eye-opening episode, we explore how mind manipulation impacts love and relationships, delving into the ethical implications of controlling behavior. Join the DAR hosts, as they shed light on this complex...
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Is your broken heart affecting your chance at true love
Join Shimeka, the DAR Therapist, and Keya McClain, the Poet, as they dive deep into the emotions stemming from past relationships and how they can impact your future love life. Discover healing strategies, heartfelt advice, and poetic insights to help you move forward and open your heart to new...
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Love & Business: Being in a Relationship with an Entrepreneur
In this episode of "Date, Affirm, the Real Podcast," we dive deep into the unique dynamics of being in a relationship with an entrepreneur. Marcus and Don are joined by special guests: the CEO of She Smokes LLC Danielle Benjamin and Felicia Neal, the successful wife of a fellow entrepreneur....
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Date, Affirm, The Real (DAR) is a group created to discuss healthy relationship with self, in dating relationship and marriage. The group focuses heavily on black healthy relationships. Our focus is on healthy, healing, positive and affirming love. The discussions range from topics related to all things self-love and healthy relationships.
HOSTED BY
Marcus Goodwin & Keya McClain
CATEGORIES
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Date, Affirm, The Real have?
Date, Affirm, The Real currently has 122 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Date, Affirm, The Real about?
Date, Affirm, The Real (DAR) is a group created to discuss healthy relationship with self, in dating relationship and marriage. The group focuses heavily on black healthy relationships. Our focus is on healthy, healing, positive and affirming love. The discussions range from topics related to all...
How often does Date, Affirm, The Real release new episodes?
Date, Affirm, The Real publishes regularly with 122 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Date, Affirm, The Real?
You can listen to Date, Affirm, The Real on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Date, Affirm, The Real?
Date, Affirm, The Real is created and hosted by Marcus Goodwin & Keya McClain.
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