Dear Archy

From double blackmail to marrying your catfish — yep, you read that right — this week on Dear Archy, your hosts find themselves overflowing with so many real-time bot and catfish dating tales from their own circle they don’t even make it to listener letters.30% of Gen-X is eligible to date at present, and these terrifying tales validate their refusal to do it any other way than in-person.Have a love story to share or a rant to request? Email your submissions to [email protected]. You must be 18+, and remember to check out our Terms of Use at deararchy.com! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deararchy.substack.com

This week on Dear Archy, the gang kicks off with a new Creepy or Retro, and finally gets into your listener letters with a selection themed Gen-X love stories that would never happen today.Archy reminisces on the lost thrills of intangibility, risk, mystery, and ‘best f—k of your life’ physical chemistry that courtship sidesteps today.Have a story to share? Email your submissions to [email protected]. You must be 18+, and remember to check out our Terms of Use at deararchy.com! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deararchy.substack.com

You put a you-know-what on your face!In a very special adults-only episode, this week on Dear Archy starts out innocently enough as Troy seeks to ID what is giving Archy her youthful glow. The tide quickly turns at his mention of Botox and fillers, prompting Archy to playfully launch into “a baby one” (not a full rant) about her M-rated view on lip fillers.Tempting Timestamps:03:04 - B-words or Botox?07:42 - “Let me tell ya somethin’…” Archy’s not-a-rant on lip fillers begins!08:51 - You put a you-know-what on your face!10:24 - It’s not the size; it’s the tenderness.14:24 - “In conclusion…you’re oversaturating the market”Have a story to share? Email your submissions to [email protected]. You must be 18+, and remember to check out our Terms of Use at deararchy.com! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deararchy.substack.com

“You’re not my baby!” and the rant she’ll be forever known for! This week on Dear Archy, we experience an impassioned editorial on why Archy has used AI to pre-emptively and forever block listener complaints across platforms.At timestamp 11:51, Troy interjects with a secret post-recording deletion when Archy launches into a sub-rant about why she rants, deciding “...it’s a lot of fire for one episode,” and delighting in it as listener gold for a future dedicated show.Tempting Timestamps:00:40 - One listener ‘Creepy or Retro’08:36 - “Let’s be honest…most hosts don’t care…”09:13 - “Let’s face it…you may be a terrible parent.”11:51 - Troy’s secret deletion13:40 - Parents: “Be honest, shut up and focus on yourselves”17:23 - “Under deeper consideration…You’re not my baby!”18:11 - Complaints are “via a certain delivery…a forced intimacy.”19:20 - Listener non-rightsHave a story to share? Email your submissions to [email protected]. You must be 18+, and remember to check out our Terms of Use at deararchy.com! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deararchy.substack.com

This week on Dear Archy, the crew gets carried away with their new favorite game ‘Creepy or Retro,’ where they examine Gen-X courtship trends of the 80s and 90s, and vividly envision their translation to 2026 dating. Only after thorough exploration can a Creepy or Retro verdict be donned. The tables are then turned when our hosts explore the translations of 2026 courtship trends and how they would be experienced by Gen-Xers back in their youth.The gang has so much fun they run out of time for listener stories and dub this episode Part 1. Next week in Part 2, Dear Archy will share listener love stories and continue their quest to map out how the love lives of younger generations are wildly boring compared to the thrills of authenticity, risk, and the unknown they lived out in the 80s and 90s.Have a story to share? Email your submissions to [email protected]. You must be 18+, and remember to check out our Terms of Use at deararchy.com! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deararchy.substack.com

In a raw and comedic rant, Archy rejects societal judgment and cultural shame surrounding smoking cigarettes. We follow that up with a nostalgic trip down memory lane to discuss the classic Gen X call-in radio show, Loveline.Plus, Archy and Troy contemplate the situation regarding:* The absolute freeze of Gen Alpha: Breaking down why our Gen Alpha co-host—and possibly her entire generation—seems completely paralyzed when asked to identify negative emotions or navigate basic conflict.Have a story to share? Email your submissions to [email protected]. You must be 18+, and remember to check out our Terms of Use at deararchy.com! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deararchy.substack.com

This week on Dear Archy, we dive into the ultimate uncomfortable relationship advice, tackle two hilarious, chaotic listener letters and discuss the self-retraction of our first episode.First, we break down a total teen romance disaster involving the most awkward and, frankly, bizarre thing you can possibly do in front of your crush. Then, we answer a truly one-of-a-kind, too odd to miss parenting fiasco about a kid walking in on their parents.Plus, Archy gives her unfiltered Gen X perspective on:* The #1 way Alphas are bad at X trends: Archy calls out Gen Alpha’s hilarious, yet endearing, misunderstandings of Gen X culture.* The Too-Real Gen X GRWM: A raw, hilarious parody of teen ‘Get Ready With Me’ videos exposes the absurdity of children using anti-aging products and more.* The raincoat diaper of a quasi-adult: Diving deep into a highly specific, bizarre and unrecommended teen milestone.* Not-So-Sexy Cereal: A traumatizing sleepover interruption when a child walks in on the hosting couple, prompting his panic-induced cereal toss.Have a story to share? Email your submissions to [email protected]. You must be 18+, and remember to check out our Terms of Use at deararchy.com! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deararchy.substack.com