Delete Everything Podcast

In this week’s episode, the boys are doing their best to make an insanely boring topic interesting. Specifically, war bonds, treasury securities, and United States debt financing. We promise it’s less boring than it sounds, but go ahead and prepare to feel very financially vulnerable for a little while. 

In this week’s episode, the guys are celebrating 4/20 the best way they can… by talking about weed a lot while totally sober. We’re old and we can’t hang anymore, it just is what it is. However, we can tell a whole bunch of stories from our past alongside a fun walkthrough of marijuana’s past! So gather ‘round and listen to your favorite uncs explain how your favorite plant made its way to your pipe. 

In this week’s episode, the boys are starting a new series. A series where we talk about weird stuff, things that we can’t explain, and frankly, things that make us feel gross and want to throw up. It’s alien stuff right here in our midst, so slap on your PPE and dive in with us. 

In this week’s episode, the guys are celebrating Easter by using bedsheets to sidestep communist attacks, revive 90s indie noise rock, and talk to inter-dimensional, racist aliens. It’s a silly one, but we can’t be so serious all the time or we’ll go crazy. 

In this week’s episode, the boys discover the #1 lady to avoid making angry. Whether she did it for love, revenge, or to subvert a bigger war is anyone’s guess. What we do know is that Olga of Kiev came up with some real crafty ways to kill thousands and still somehow managed to be sainted after her death. 

In this week’s episode, the guys talk about some swampy business in the 1960s, civil rights era Deep South. Was it nature or nurture that turned an otherwise sweet, smart, pretty Kathy Ainsworth into a racially motivated bomber? Did Thomas Tarrants even have a chance at not becoming a KKK bomber? It’s top to bottom radicalization, violence, and a redemption arc you probably won’t see coming. 

In this week’s episode, the boys strike a slightly more somber tone as we dig into the first 360 or so years of English colonization, occupation, and general f*ckery in Ireland, from The Plantation of Ulster to Bloody Sunday. It’s part one of a series a year in the making, so we tried to take it seriously. Guest appearances by Blinky the leprechaun, Billy Connelly, and Liam Neeson. 

In this weeks episode, the guys are taking a slight departure from history and talking about contemporary nightmares. What kind of nightmares? The kind where meat and metal are merged in a laboratory, the insane, unholy fusion that will inevitably bring about our untimely demise!!! Or maybe we’re just overreacting. YOU DECIDE!

In this week’s episode, the guys are spittin’ Spanish, rattlin’ revolution, and dishin’ Dolores! Specifically, we’re talking about a lady who grew up poor and ended up becoming a huge voice for Spanish revolution. Bonus: if you ever wanted us to deliberately be political, this is the episode to listen to. Won’t happen for at least another 18 months, so soak it in!

In this week’s episode, we’re exploring a pretty strange conspiracy involving ancient cultures, interplanetary visitors, white people, and invisible planetary bodies. Are aliens or French people to blame? Grab your goats, guard your private parts, and let’s find out together!

In this week’s episode, the boys explore the magical land of Alba and the cousin banging that ultimately led to the intertwining (both nationally and genetically) of England and Scotland. Murders, mostly extrajudicial ones, abound as we discuss William Wallace, Macbeth, Vikings, kings with assorted bad nicknames, execution dogs, poorly written sonnets, and the love one can only feel from a cousin. 

In this week’s episode, was he a good guy or a bad guy? Was he a man above reproach whose legacy was sullied by his sons or was vigilante justice always just part of their culture? Did Rivers Cuomo dedicate an entire album to him? Honestly, we don’t know, but we’re gonna talk about Allen Pinkerton for an hour and an half either way. 

In this week’s episode, we’re celebrating Groundhog’s Day by phoning it in and talking about Cryptids… again. Have you ever wondered what creepy legends are lurking around Hawaii, Washington, and Georgia? Well it’s mostly bigfoots and water monsters, but we still don’t talk about those mostly. We’re gonna keep it weird here on our 4th Cryptids episode!

In this week’s episode, we’ve got kids everywhere! Not in a weird, creepy way, in a fun, adorable way! We’ve got Ukrainian dog kids, Colombian monkey kids, Indian wolf kids, Kyrgyzstanian…?Kyrgyzstanese…? Anyway he’s a sheep kid! We’ve got kids in the studio, the kind raised by humans! So grab YOUR kids and enjoy kid week here at Delete Everything Podcast. 

In this week’s episode, the fellas are waist deep in swampy atrocities yet again! Come with us as we find out that sugar, salt, and “Black Auntie” are the ingredients for possibly the most horrific recipe ever. Bonus: Patrick struggles with a basic sentence for 4+ takes and Drew makes him look like an idiot by not editing it out. 

In this week’s episode, the guys spend an inordinate amount of time talking about statue genitalia. Are they any more or less interesting than mysteriously carved Chinese caves or ancient Bolivian cities that Riley can’t pronounce? Probably not. But there’s something about big, bronze balls that we just can’t resist. 

In this week's episode, the boys are talking mutilation and disfigurement yet again as we explore a few more of the movies that you definitely know of and the mishaps involved in the filming that you probably haven't heard of. We also continue to gush a little more about Jackie Chan, because would it really be a Movie Set Mishaps episode without that?

In this week’s episode, who said you could fornicate? Certainly not your god or your government! On this episode, the guys explore the global and ancient tradition of dictating what goes on with what's in your pants. So bike lock your privates up and let’s lay next to one another with no actual physical contact!

In this week’s episode, the guys are discussing the worst Christmas tragedies we could find. Turns out the horrors don’t take off for the holidays… and evidently neither do we! So enjoy your cooked goose, stuffing, and seasonal desserts along with a side of alarming tales of personal misfortune. 

Man Animals! Rat Brains!

In this week’s episode, Riley and Drew flip the script on Patrick and completely hoodwink him. Have you ever wondered what world map projections and 80s cartoons have in common? Well neither have we, and they aren’t correlated at all, but we talk a whole bunch about both things anyway! Prepare to have your minds blown!

In this week’s episode, the fellas are getting you all geared up for the holiday season by talking about legitimate tragedies that drastically altered people’s lives… and then minimizing those tragedies into a palatable 90 minute podcast so you don’t feel bad about it! Why worry about the victims of the eruption of Mount Tambora, or the farmers who suffered through the Australian Emu Wars, or the hundreds of thousands of people who would have been vaporized if the worst case scenario had happened in the 1961 Goldsboro B-52 crash when like… Legos are hella unaffordable for your nephew’s Christmas present? 

In this week’s episode, the boys are going balls deep… wait… they’re going deep… underwater… in balls! We’re talking all things deep in the ocean! Bathyspheres! Benthoscopes! Nuclear submarines! James Camerons! And what goes down between friends at the bottom of the Marianas Trench! So dive in with us, the water is freezing, inky black, and full of scary monsters.

In this week’s episode, the guys dive into how we ended up with the Thanksgiving traditions we celebrate every year. From turkey and stuffing to Black Friday, we’re cooking up a whole batch of historical context. So everyone gather ‘round the table and keep Riley away from the turkey. 

In this week’s episode, the guys are heading back to Japan to talk about confirmed badass, Miyamoto Musashi. We’re following this guy from his “killing guys with wooden sticks” era in his teens all the way to his “killing guys with wooden sticks” era in his 30s. This guy REALLY liked bashing people’s heads in with wooden sticks! That’s not to say that he wasn’t down to use his swords on 12 year old children though. Either way, we’ll let the listener decide if Musashi was a certified technical killer or a bloodthirsty, homeless psychopath. 

In this week’s episode, we’re traveling to the Central Pacific to watch things go boom! Is that unexpected rain a sign of the end of all wars? Maybe. The entire coral reef turning into glass is just a fun side effect! Find out how close to the perineum we managed to drop our bomb this week.

In this week’s episode, the guys are doing something a little different than they usually do. We’re talking about social psychology experiments and how they mush our brains into acting like jerks sometimes. Hopefully you’re listening to this from your cash-filled jacuzzi, inside your multi-million mansion, within your gated, beachfront community… on Park Place. 

In this week’s episode, we’re joined by guest host Jade “Dragon” Meadows to talk about the history of horror cinema. From the inception of the genre, which is cool, to Stephen King books and movies, which are lame and awful. Enjoy spooky season with our hot takes on a whole bunch of classic horror!

What happens when you combine a stellar cast, beautiful cinematography, and a darkly fascinating premise based on the real-life murder of Elizabeth Short, aka "The Black Dahlia?" Well, if you're director Brian De Palma in 2006, you make a piece of crap movie that sank at least one rising star. Join the Blongo Boys on this bonus inaugural episode of (possibly?) our next podcast: Bad Movie, Please Fix.

In this week’s episode, the boys are exploring the wilderness to see what they’re made of. We’re talking about the absolutely insane survival stories of Steven Callahan, Ada “Blackjack” Delatuk, and Ernest Shackleton and crew. So prep your raft, load up your most edible/bangable pet, and let’s set sail!

In this week's episode, the fellas are setting sail for the coast of Africa... where nothing bad has ever happened EVER. Join us as we discuss Europe's playbook for colonizing the resource rich continent and exactly how long term and far reaching the implications were/are. Honestly, no one is safe in this one, so, ummm... enjoy?

In this week’s episode, the guys are talking about bad police. Is that a political statement? Nope! We think you’ll agree once you listen that these are just arbitrarily awful police officers. Seriously! They’re bad bad not good people. 

In this week’s episode we’re joined again by guest host Brian Velez to talk about cold stuff. Does it seem like the most boring topic we’ve ever covered? Kind of, but it turns out that learning how ancient Persians and Romans had ice on demand is pretty damn cool! Conversely, learning how Industrial Revolution rich guys monopolized the production and distribution of ice is… predictable. So turn your thermostat down to 65 degrees, grab yourself an iced yak’s milk, and enjoy!

In this week’s episode the boys explore a couple of interesting lads. One who is seemingly a boring paper pusher with a seriously wild secret mission, and another popular, successful, and moderately interesting guy whose tales about his covert life are either total BS or are quite literally insane. We’ve also got buggery… lots and lots of buggery!

In this week’s episode, the guys are following the world’s worst wilderness guide on an absolutely mind boggling trip through the Rocky Mountains. So join us around the campfire as we dig into the meaty story of Alfred Packer and search for a single redeeming quality about him. 

In this week’s episode, the guys are celebrating a year of episodes by tackling the most convoluted topic they could come up with: The History… of History! Cram yourself into this time machine with us as we hop about willy nilly, talking smack about Mesopotamian ingots and how not f**kable Neanderthals were (sorry Drew). Happy one year anniversary!

In this week's episode, the fellas are diversifying their portfolios. Textiles, farming, glass fabrication: that's where the money is, especially when we can fully staff our businesses with 12 year olds! Join us as we ask the important questions like: Why did we allow this practice to proliferate so long ago? Why is "so long ago" still actually happening today? Do children really NEED all of their fingers? It's a coal cart full of atrocities and the crushed bodies of underage kids in this one! 

In this week’s episode, the guys spend half of the episode lamenting the fact that they have to get into the gritty details of a brutal crime… which is something they’ve always avoided. But was Elizabeth Short’s life cut short because she was unknowingly putting herself in harm’s way or was she the victim of circumstance after someone she barely had any connection with saw an opportunity to fulfill his psychosexual predilections? Honestly, we don’t know the answer, we just know that this was a heavy episode. 

In August’s monthly mini, the fellas feel as if they didn’t give full credit to a couple of the big names calling the shots in the CIA’s MK Ultra program. So many shady dealings are interconnected in this one that, honestly, it just kinda goes from horrifying to impressive at a point. 

In this week’s episode, we’ve got more state sanctioned atrocities than you can shake a stick at! Plus we’ve got piles of dead monkeys, the mysterious death of Frank Olsen, French heroin cartels, and difficult questions about what to do with all of the orphan children we drugged and psychologically broke. Last week was just the prologue, baby, THIS one’s where the action is… the terrible, tragic, unforgivable action. 

In this week’s episode, the boys dive deep into the lead up to the creation of the CIA and the scientific breakthroughs that inspired the OSS, the CIA, and infamous covert operations like Project Paperclip and Project Artichoke. We’re spraying coastal cities with biological weapons… of knowledge, so hunker down for some state sanctioned atrocities in this first part of our 2 part series on MK Ultra. 

In this week’s episode, we’re uncovering an ancient civilization that you’ve never heard of… you’re welcome. Do we believe the theory? Are we convinced that everything that you’ve learned about archeology is completely false? You’ll have to listen to the episode find out exactly how much our answer is “No, that’s crazy!”

In this week's episode, spontaneous combustion, perpetual motion machines, and rumpology, oh my! Guest host Dwight Mosby joins Patrick and Riley in making candles with nothing but cigarettes and the grease from their fat old man boobs. Honestly, your favorite fortune teller probably couldn’t have guessed the topics on this pseudoscience episode. 

In this week’s episode, Patrick and Riley head down the holler to deep dive the lives and history of West Virginia’s coal miners. Along the way, we uncover the history of the term “redneck”, a ruthless industry taking deeply unethical measures to keep their feet on the throats of their labor force, a truly badass folk hero, and the largest armed insurrection in the history of the US since the civil war. 

In July’s monthly mini, the guys are focusing a little more on the silly side of the Satanic Panic of the 80’s and 90’s… well, that was the plan. Sadly, it still devolves into some horrors driven by the moral pearl-clutching of the gullible masses. 

In this week’s episode, guest host Jake Teeters joins us in making fun of the Satanic Panic of the 80s and 90s. Unfortunately, and much to Riley’s dismay, making fun of it didn’t stop us from covering the very real consequences of idiotic moral panics and things get… well… predictably awful once we examine the McMartin preschool trials and the West Memphis Three. 

In this week’s episode, hop aboard the S.S. Worm Dangler with the guys as they sail the world visiting their favorite micronations. They’re selling baggies of wheat on the Hutt River, tossing homemade bombs in Sealand, and… I guess eating lots of dim sum in North Dumpling Island? Listen. Regardless of what they’re doing, they are an autonomous nation unto themselves. The Nation of Blongo!

In this week’s episode, the guys explore the ways in which human brains can somehow simultaneously be impressive and yet so so so so dumb. In the process they also stumble upon a whole list of things they themselves have misremembered, thusly bringing this horrific memory machine around for a full lap. Join us if you have a dumb, stupid brain too as well!

In this week’s episode, Riley can’t find his white pants and Patrick falls in love with a seven foot tall woman with a dog’s lower half. It’s an episode filled with call backs and pitches for tv shows we’ll never make as we celebrate our 50th episode the only way we know how, by talking about the most random legendary cryptids from New York, California, and Alaska.

In this first installment of our Monthly Mini series, we’re taking a closer look at the insane life of Jair Candor, from being left to fend for himself as a child, to 36 years working with Brazil’s Indigenous People’s Foundation, to his discovery of multiple uncontacted indigenous tribes. Come hang with us while we talk about this guy who’s seen more naked strangers in the forest than you’d find in an abandoned, woodland box of porn!