Deranged Marriage (with Sarah and Quivers)

What an insightful look into our psyches as I share a bad hookup story, we talk drunk habits and falconry, abandoning Sarah in the middle of the island with no way home, loud ratty kids, bad funeral joked etiquette, dating a Spy Kid, joining the church for the coffee mornings, and losing my neighbour’s club card ://

Today we answer the real question: were you the dumper or were you the dumpee? We celebrate love in all its forms, and by that I mean being dismissed from your workplace (relationship). We discuss chilly tents, tit warmers, Sarah’s pregnancy scare!!!, dreams of an ex’s smelly feet, new homes, formspring abuse, my dogs pretty pumpum and much more to boot. Big love, scribble back.

So apparently I’m a teacher now and my area of expertise is the life and times of Henners the eighth? Meanwhile, Sarah’s mumbling her words in public, so naturally we discuss curling shoes, voice notes, Bad Bunny, and we help out a couple of listeners with their very specific issues. Big love to Keith Hatstand x-SUPPORT QUIVERS’ BOOK:book.quiversdrag.co.ukCOME TO AN EVENT: events.quiversdrag.co.ukFIND US ON SOCIALS:@sarahholdcroft/@quiversdragUntil next time! I DO!! 💍

Yes. It’s true. I try a coffee LIVE ON THE POD (WHO ELSE IS DOING IT LIKE US???!). We also discuss psychic readings, hypnotherapy, we celebrate dishwashers, and Sarah has a very controversial overrated for those of us who love coagulated goat excretion. Enjoy pervs!-SUPPORT QUIVERS’ BOOK:book.quiversdrag.co.ukCOME TO AN EVENT: events.quiversdrag.co.ukFIND US ON SOCIALS:@sarahholdcroft/@quiversdragUntil next time! I DO!! 💍

This week we’re chatting motorway madness, prehistoric preferences, coffee consumption, disco defecation, and we help a listener with her deli desires. All in a days work x-SUPPORT QUIVERS’ BOOK:book.quiversdrag.co.ukCOME TO AN EVENT: events.quiversdrag.co.ukFIND US ON SOCIALS:@sarahholdcroft/@quiversdragUntil next time! I DO!! 💍

Guess who’s baaaaack! (Clue: it’s us heya). It’s a new year on Deranged Marriage and we’re talking Sarah’s big move to Essex, her puffy eye bags, losing my dog on a walk, and Harvey Price on the train to Guildford. Thanks for coming back ily 5eva-SUPPORT QUIVERS’ BOOK:book.quiversdrag.co.ukCOME TO AN EVENT: events.quiversdrag.co.ukFIND US ON SOCIALS:@sarahholdcroft/@quiversdragUntil next time! I DO!! 💍

This week we discuss my boyfriend calling me goofy, a festival budder beaaeeear, my gypsy rose phase, another parking ticket, a new arrival in the family, fish n chips, DALLEH, Turtle Thomas, and moreeee!

Just when you thought it couldn’t get anymore riveting!!!! We discuss the process of a shower, Sarah’s childhood ringtone, matron from school with a cold compress, and make a formal apology to Stacey Moore xxx

We’ve sorted the tech this week. We chat gay Baldwin, ghost stories, drivin in ar cars, what we’d be as animals and flowers, and all about our fave places to stuff our gullets. Shout out to my ex and apologies we never made it to New Zealand :/ xx

Wow did you miss us? I know you must have kiss. Sarah’s had a lovely lil holiday and I’ve been bouncing around, but we’re back for saz to recap her trip to the ess eee exx museum, her broken tooth, and some shocking service

Mills is back and we’re discussing the most important topics: ice creams from that board, super powers, Isle of Wight theme parks, hen do plans, watching your mum shower, and more!

Guess who’s backkkkk! And this time we’re diving deep into hash browns, oral, and a significant development that’s never been discussed in the history of our friendship. Also did Sarah ever mention she’s been to America??

Switching in up we head back to the jar and talk hotels, life goals, and Facebook check insssss

This one definitely has some very thorough structure. 100%. We catch up about food, old neighbours, and takin photos x. Alright then x

Didn’t we go to school with her? We dive straight into takes about online shopping, kids n babies. charity shops, we test Sarah’s Roman Empire knowledge, spending a voucher on a clip, give the all important sewing machine update, and list our fave Roald Dahl bewks.

Wanna hear all about the creepy question I got asked at the gym? Wanna know about what Sarah and I have planned for our funerals? Wanna know my thoughts on cocaine bear and the avicii rip documentary?? Well do I have the bloody episode for you babe! Enjoy kiss.

It’s time to talk seriously, makin big money moves this year and saying no to bad brows. We also chat sandy groins on the beach, cave diving, and talk about the worlds current events i.e. Princess Di

Ello twenny twenny fiveeee! It’s time to reflect, time to move on, and time to decide if any of its worth it tbh. Jk we chat the holidays, what energy we’re bringing into a new year, reaching 4 the stars, and much much more!

This time round we have another beautiful bonus ep with the utterly tolerable Georgie Porgie (from the ships and stuff). We sit down to chat origami toilet paper headpieces, the spectrum of drag, a fecal frenzy, and much much more!

Wanna know what we really think about dinosaurs? The time has come. And also, like how do you think dinosaurs would like to be lit? So many questions. Well, we don’t answer that, but these topix are discussed, as well as tuneful renditions of some festive classics, and we review some A**** insults from history x

Oooh look babes a lil festive bonus ep of the pod! This time joined with very special guest and one of my favourite people, Lucy Caboosiiiiii! And I actually feel at ease with this co host cuz usually it’s quite awkward. In saz’s absence we chat Canada! We chat Greek powers! We chat non binary Teletubbies! And a whole lot more. Enjoy and MC babes xxxx

Chit chat time wiv Sarah and Quiv. And it’s nearly Christmas!!! We break down Sarah’s trip to Winter Wonderland in minute detail, talk tinned curry, spooning mango chutney out the jar, Charli xcx, and our reviews of the Wicked movie (I know we’re late, but we prerecord hehehhe)

We’re back on dry land with actual proper mics omg. And only one or hiccups too hehe. This week we chat about Sarah’s nasty dirty surprise, her obsession with ASMR, the Wicked movie, speeding, and Kyle hops on to treat us to a cupla farts too. What a dream come true.

It’s officially December!!! Well, we’re breaking down a classic Christmas from the skies over the med: we chat fave Christmas films, songs and traditions, what we’d buy our imaginary celeb pals, and talk traumatic ice rink parties. Happy Christmas babes!!

We’re still on the sun loungers thinking about lunch, and I’ve fat shamed Sarah, cancel me!!!1 The inquisition continues from ar dear friends, and we chat about how we’d both live with Scooby Doo, spiritual connections, wolly of the week, AI, Abi’s dead auntie, crying on ur bday, and big moves to Australia.

This week saz and I are live from our hollibobs in the glorious sunshine and the mountains of Crowaseeya, joined by the lovely Abi and Josephine who quiz us on random b**locks. Find out what we thought of Froggyland, gay speed walking, Gepetto, what about each other annoys us, and the best day of our lives.

We’re back! With actual intentions to keep up a semi regular schedule. Our three listeners will be overjoyed. You join us from my sofa post spag bol with Callum and Kyle where we chat fave body parts, cheap supermarket scents, Charlie Red, and have a live reaction to S Club’s Waitrose ad.

Ruh roh, we’re back… this time we chat life updates, Spain, divas hehe and other stuff I can’t remember as writing this xx

Oioiiiii look who’s back! Our bezzie for ezzie, Millicent St Jolliffe. We catch up and chat Rosie and Jim, my pants-shitting-first-time-uncle meeting, storage, pokey-out t***ies, and other things I can’t remembered right now, so just listen :))

Ello you! Hope you’re well. This week we catch up, chat aggressive dunelm lady, social media, bed time and phobias babyyyy

This week we chat documentaries, soul mates, instruments, and we have a special guest to help us perform our brand new number one single

This week we chat Christmas recap, cooking, bad behaviours, drink, drugs and Beyoncé, our fave drug of choice

After several many audio issues, the pair chat heterosexual culture, David Attenborough, discos, and junk food xo

This week we catch up with all that’s new in life, then discuss reality TV, weddings and hen dos, and help a listener who’s in love with a Morrisons salad bar

Gone but not forgotten, you join us at the IOW (isle of Wight) grand National and ashey scurry where we lose a total of eight gbp xxx

Worst one yet - stay tuned and wish us luck 🥰

Just listen I Cba to type a description sozz xox

Lil bonus ep live from the bus stop in Tenerife - hope you enjoy this important chat xxx

Omgggg!! This week we sit down with the best person in the world, Millllllicent Jolliffe. Mills gives us a window into her world on board the ship, and gives us an impeccable reading of the best song since sliced bread!

This week we dig deep into each other. Sarah shares her pesto flop, Quiv shares their Beryl bothers, and we deep dive into animals in cling film, Sarah’s psyche, and Beyoncé’s back catalog

This week we chat about Sarah’s nails, rocky road, Sean Paul’s Dudley roots, Sarah’s pepperfoni, and more!

This week we chat Isle of Wight Pride, Sarah’s clicky back, saying ‘ohhhh’ to life, horny activities, and working for the BFG

This week, you join us live on the beach hashtag tour life xx. We discuss all sorts like Sarah’s birthday celebrations, Wight Proms, Facebook commenters, discuss posh gnocchi, and Joyce swims out to help a well endowed chap with some advice x

This week we chat Queen Kate’s birthday, Sarah’s computer, the great auntie conspiracy, Shazza’s wife Paul, spenny MOTs, passive aggressive audience members, cold subways, sawing off limbs, some difficult romantic decisions, massaman curry and disappointing Nando’s, and Joyce interrupts a ramble to help a horned up listener with their lustful ways.

This week, Saz and Quiv discuss the triumphant footy breakfast, the location of Denmark, Sarah’s camp friend Carol Denman, tbt teachers, TikTok rants, Sarah’s mellow week, Quivers’ new tattoo, dog friendly pubs, the Barbie movie, AA Milne, Evenin all, and Joyce pops by to help a listener with a killer query… 🔪

In this episode we’re joined by Abi. You know the one - Abi, from Abi. We answer really random questions, discuss updates, including Sarah’s blood test results!!!!!!1 And of course answer the hard hitting question ‘Whatever happened to F***y Quivers..?’

S&Q dig deep into Buzzfeed quizzes, finding out where they should vAycAyyy and compare notes on the best of this century’s animated cinema library. Then they grab some quick Qs from the group chat about pivotal life moments and icks xoxoxox

We’re on our ‘olidays!!!1 And we’re joined by our special guests in the Downside villa. This is honestly frankly the most boring ep so far, so good luck to ya getting though it. Luckily it’s just a short king ep xx

This week, we discuss Sarah’s birthday, Quiv’s disgusting and abhorrent smell, our meal deals of choice and why (honestly the most boring segment ever), Quiv’s brave lifestyle change, supermarket families and baby on board stickers, our earliest memz of each other, we review each other’s dating profiles heheheheh

In this premiere episode, Sarah and Quiv discuss a recent family gathering, what’s on the washing line, clay feet, and play a game which frankly translates terribly to audio. Good luck xx