DIAL #DAN

the glorious nature of spring in upstate new york, being heartbroken by the discovery that the insta reel/tiktok sound byte "oh no no no" was a shangri la's song, live reviewing the aerosmith cover of said song, pitting two women (charli xcx and slayyyter) against each other, finding office furniture at a new jersey habitat for humanity ReStore, bourbon chicken at the palisades center mall, shopping for shorts, atrocious lighting at the independent book store, exploring the "Local" tab on upstate new york tiktok, and so much more <3

Buying kitchen gadgets (Le Creuset non stick skillet and Kitchenaid Japanese steel knife set full review), visiting Sarah Lawrence college for the Naomi Fry reading and randomly meeting an A Lister along the way, the Bargain Barn in Sharon Connecticut moving, trying to outsmart Wegman's frozen lasagna and Trader Joe's butter chicken with my new air fryer/toaster oven combo and failing miserably, an overall abundance of neighborhood and general Upstate minutiae while I beg the ultimate question- am I living in the shadow of myself???

Two Hours

An unexpected jaunt to Poughkeepsie and Kingston, the restaurant Terrapin, joining the Bonvoy rewards program, an antique mirage, the Year In Review going absolutely viral, Kristen Cavallari's astrologist, regretting turning my instagram story replies back on, the season premier of RuPaul's Drag Race, Zohran's first days, realizing I wasn't born with the giant mole on my face, paying homage to toilet plungers, and I answer Questions regarding how to tell your dad he needs veneers and what General Motors SUV should you buy?

a lengthy recap of my thanksgiving weekend in pastoral connecticut before i get into:epstein files released (?) anora sweep at oscar’s lady gaga album ‘mayhem’james kennedy regrets posting pic with tate brothersmahmoud khalil detained wendy williams throws note from window cromwell hotel in vegas becoming the vanderpump hotel demna named creative director of guccidonatella versace resigns poppers crackdownstranded astronauts return to earth after 9 monthsjfk files released (?) white lotus brother incest handjobgeorge foreman RIP war plan group chat leakyolanda saldivar denied parole myanmar and thailand 7.7 earthquake the emancipation of brooke hoganmorgan wallen skips SNL cast hugs val kilmer RIP

***if you want the tea in real time please subscribe to the patreon<3***topics: making a movie deck, a letterboxd milestone, a butt dial sent from heaven, unsubscribing from raya, taking a chance on banana republic jeans online, having my first lobster roll of the summer in september, dog fashion show tea, a major segment on charlie kirk, TV/Movie Corner: (task, aka charlie sheen, weapons, dylan mulvaney on RHOC), a deep dive into contemporary music (i hear 2hollis for the first time,) and of course i answer some Questions <3

topics: a quick jaunt to beacon ny, a harrowing encounter on the bench, a comically bad night of sleep, brushing teeth with hot vs. cold water, taco bell y2k menu, maura tierney on law and order, friend(dot)com subway ads, a deep dive into mariah carey's new album Here For It All, and i answer all your Questions <3

RIP d'angelo, the victoria's secret fashion show, a deep dive into "pop star academy: katseye" on netflix, i explore other k-pop groups and take them down one by one because k-pop is the mark of the devil etc, a lengthy retelling of my one ghost story, and i answer all your Questions on the topics of-- being a stepfather, queer youth using canes, ideal brand partnerships, job interview strategies, body lotion, and what kind of shoe a middle aged man should wear to dinner <3

topics: new microphone and studio setup, a food pickup mixup, how to improve twitter, kecksberg pennsylvania 1965, a black amex sighting, TV Corner: drag race, AJLT, RHOC, always sunny, Too Much, a list of media i'm saving for my death bed or long hospital stay, and i answer all your Questions <3

topics: a landmark word game high score, new perfume update, road rage on flushing avenue, truncated domes, revisiting james charles v. trisha paytas, a police chase outside the funeral home, the laundromat getting rid of chairs, can you shower during a thunderstorm?, the new gay bar in prime williamsburg, my new fav tv show 'slow horses', skinwalker ranch, free pad thai while watching the fugitive, sling blade, georgia from nextgen nyc trans-fishing, another new fav tv show 'such brave girls', jax leaving the valley, my top 10 movies of all time, and i answer so many intrusive Questions <3

topics: buying and installing ikea curtains that are too short, every detail of my connecticut and hudson valley trip (this is the entire episode; you won't want to miss it...), finalizing the pdf of my upcoming photo book, and i answer a bunch of Questions <3

topics: fixing the microphone, another trip to connecticut, in depth Buga Sphere analysis, update on the dire wolf found on skinwalker ranch, and just like that recap, queer love ultimatum season 2, andrew christian shuttering his doors, jeff lewis's exes getting married, volvo xc60 taking over the 240 in lifetime sales, accidental permanent leg hair removal, more mamdani stuff, an audio comparison of adriana of RHOM to penelope cruz in Blow, and i answer a bunch of Questions <3

topics: finding out that i do drop shipping, a lana del rey premonition, mourning dove fire escape egg update, trying out tactical sandals and settling for moccasins, a bald gay betrayal, revisiting the skaarsgard tea i spilled months ago..., getting some proof i needed about an insane neighbor, a tight 30 mins on the osama bin laden netflix doc/9/11/the war on terror, and i answer all your Questions (fav 90's songs, hygiene products, poconos recommendations, the valley, summerhouse, top chef, you name it!)

topics: inadvertently starting the pod five years ago on lena dunham's birthday, buying an AMFM radio to keep myself company, the reframe beauty launch, apple losing in court to patreon, My Grand Tour (rochester ny, elmira ny, kent ct), Greenpoint Neighborhood Update (zoe kravitz and noah centino, my neighbor wearing a peloton shirt, a firm handshake from my landlord's daughter, lay's thai bbq chips, shame stickers for street sweeping), Body Horror Corner (skin tags, accidentally "gleeking", having to google how old i am), and every single one of the written questions and voicemails are answered!

Topics: new merch, ConEd turning my power turned off during met gala monday, how should celebs interpret the theme of Black Dandyism?, lena dunham's essay about leaving new york, marvin gaye's cross dressing father murdering him, The Rehearsal, a sensual moment in the mcdonald's drive thru, and i answer all your Questions (unbalanced friendships, what makes good car television, and a deep dive into gay surrogacy...)

i hop back in the booth to excruciatingly detail every day of my LA trip; lovers of minutiae will rejoice <3

topics: my new recording booth, gay guys changing their names after marriage, Speed 2, meghan markle netflix show, denise richards and her wild things, the rigged witch hunt of stacey on RHOP, proudly denying a raya referral, going defcon 3 on washable rugs, and of course so much more in between

topics: mixing hummus into vodka sauce, being street style photographed unbeknownst, the bullshit "why do rich people love quiet" Atlantic article i can't escape, but mostly i answer your Questions regarding: dating a man in prison, Anora, how to get your groove back, fav gaga era, formative television and movies, best cars for lesbians, single parenting, and truly so much more i honestly love you guys....... <3

topics: dia beacon, the homeless guy on my block who will kill me within the year, drag race season 10, tiktok ban, carrie underwood, zyns, book recs, courtney love, fav breakfast, lunch, and dinner in nyc, is gay monogamy possible?, a bunch of car stuff, and i answer perhaps too many questions <3

topics: merch update, my upcoming LA trip, trying to figure out what's going on in our skies lately, extensive grammy's red carpet and award show recap, lady gaga's Abracadabra, leather LL bean boat and totes, a long island italian feast, instagram gripes, and a review of american sports story: aaron hernandez

topics: there are no topics... i answer 20 questions on the themes of love, career, jealousy, fast food, reality television, dentistry, crystals, high stakes social events, office jobs, defunct gay twitter slang; you prolly know the vibe etc

topics: an addendum and fake apology regarding my comments about trans youth last episode, jenna lyons misgendering a prominent stylist on WWHL and no one clocking it, nyc parks department shutting down the alcoholic production assistant Marathon in mcgolrick park, the 1995 brady bunch movie, live reaction to "eusexua", challengers oscars snub, wendy williams's breakfast club interview, and much more minutia to tie it all together <3

topics: turning resolutions into desire statements, quitting smoking update, congestion pricing, ancestry dot com, real housewives of potomac, bryan johnson netflix doc, selling the city, woah vicky fake kidnapping in nigeria, mixing pb and j together before spreading, and men being vilified for accentuating their features via facial hair...

topics: christmas day social media etiquette, total exposé of my first time at nordstrom grill, the new season of queer eye, a list of men twitter forces me to think is hot, beyoncé's half time show, and i answer so many questions (cars, books, pods, music, real estate)

transgender day of awareness on easter sunday aaron bushnell self immolates flaco the owl RIPmigrant crisisemma stone best actress for poor thingsrolling stone JVN exposédylan mulvaney “days of girlhood” music videokate middleton “goes missing” ends up having cancerchristine quinn’s husband arrested for domestic violence“the valley” premiers feds raid diddy’s housecowboy cartersolar eclipse earthquake in new york OJ simpson RIP…lanachellaanother taylor swift albumnymphia wind wins drag racedance moms reunionfive year anniversary of “bye sister” and “no more lies”jojo siwa gets drunk and punched in the face at disney landpresident of iran dies in helicopter crashnyc <—> dublin portalchallengers “something about her” finally opens

topics: halloween in rural greenpoint, azealia banks quote tweeting me, my presidential orders, outdoor dining sheds disappearing, winning the new yorker film fest sweepstakes, my latest focus group opportunities, body wash spilling in my car, chrome hearts suing HRH, channing tatum and zoe kravitz splitsville, spell check not working anymore, exploring how stupid gays have become on twitter, voting early, chappel roan again, laga's Disease video, a new segment called Rapid Movie Reviews, i answer some questions for myself, then i answer all your questions <3

topics: an update about our podcast, election chat, LA stuff, tons and tons of real housewives crap, i think you know the vibe by now <3

special little mini episode!!!topics: my final meal at gaskin's, a roadside motel stay, a fitted sheet ripping, locking myself in a bathroom, changing the name of my pod?, looking for scarf recommendations, the nyc and nj wildfires, still getting reamed by the IRS, the chicken big mac, the docuseries Social Studies, and much more <3

topics: obviously so much yapping about fashion red carpets from the days of yore and present, online shopping, the today show, oprah, mary hart, jojo siwa, bradley cooper, jared leto, interior style, kidney transplants, quitting smoking, and that's just the tip of the iceberg...

topics: power strip myths, fast casual macaroni, sample sales, the current state of dimes square fashion, how the devil gets in corners, p. diddy's arrest, Freak Offs, demi lovato's Child Star "doc", jojo siwa's snapchat addiction, ryan's world youtube, a sneak peak of my year end list, and so much more you would not believe <3

topics: (not) saving a bloody cat on the street, a lifeguard on the phone while someone was drowning, the interior space of a midsize volvo suv vs. my compact honda crossover, should you bring a coffee table book to the beach?, my perfect day with heather juju, the best italian restaurant in south brooklyn, LGBT Roundup (ilana glazer being non binary, chappell roan being an actual lesbian (?), the james charles nudes leak), gena rowland, alain delon (hadn't heard of him; reminded me of when that japanese composer died and everyone glommed onto him), my viral burrito..., joining X premium, and i answer a bunch of questions <3

topics: being taunted by lemonade stand little girls, toddlers with outfits more expensive than mine, double rainbow facts, billie eilish still dressing like lil jon (without the east side boyz), rehashing the shame of drinking cheap beer in the early aughts, staircase railing etiquette, the actual reason following hot ppl makes you dumb, the new drag race term invented by twinks "package", britney's Blackout album, and i answer quite frankly a couple handfuls of questions <3

REMINDER: there are WAY MORE episodes on the patreon! (and they're juicier... i'm not saying the free ones are bad or anything but i am less salacious... www.patreon.com/dian_dan <3) topics: father's day posts, justin timberlake dwi, hamptons autonomous zones, new mourning dove on my fire escape, new couch delivery, debuting a new segment called Questions I Have For Myself, wet hot american summer rewatch, deep dive into the latest groundbreaking episode of the secret of skinwalker ranch, drag race roast, i saw the tv glow, and i answer some of your questions <3

topics: i bought a bunch of crap recently and detail it all (new phone, new couch, new perfume, new deodorant, new anti-snoring mouth guard, even new toilet paper...), an update about my shitty neighbor, an update about toco the dog, wearing a pair of underwear backwards for 36 hours, season one of The Real L Word, the new season of the kardashians, what KRUMP stands for, Bring a Trailer, and simply so much more <3

topics: what could have been if i didn't podcast, Challengers, quitting twitter again, learning how to clean windows, a brooklyn bar's dubious gofundme, a candle from trader joe's, another bye sister/no more lies revisit, kevin spacey doc, the dark side of sniffies, the wicked trailer, something about her/la sandwicherie comparisons, and i answer some questions <3

topics: is eating lamb on easter sunday a new thing?, the total eclipse, rochester ny, cowboy carter, jojo siwa's new single, meeting two listeners in one night, why mustard is rare in nyc, the origins of the term "plastic surgery", why is logging dangerous?, rewatching Personal Shopper for the fifth time, and i answer all of your questions pertaining to-- hotels, cars, summer house, paglia v. dunham, spring fashion, and so much more <3

topics: giving up fast food for lent, poppi soda, some cray jLo tea, balling out on white barn/bath and body works candles, pushy sephora employees making me crumble, woodpeckers, my car getting recalled, life without zoloft, the zone of interest, running into a gorgeous fan, and much more <3 

topics: 12 straight days of no sun, debuting some new soundboardts, low impact cardio youtube routines, how do you ask for more ice in a latte?, blissing out in a swamp, SSRI withdrawals, returning to twitter after a year, getting banned from twitter almost immediately, lukas gage name searching and finding my twitter, the absolute c o m p l e t e grammy's coverage, The Sphere, a comprehensive guide of my beef with a wall street journalist reporter; along with a major update, my first time at "ludlow house", the movie Karen, and much much much more...

topics: my new obsession with chris stapleton, an impromptu winter getaway to connecticut and the hudson valley, a hot bartender correctly assuming i had a podcast, beef stew on a chilly night, why gay single dads on tinder owe us an explanation as to how their life got that way..., lana's albums getting better and better, hitting a bird with my car :-(, the pappardelle at gaskin's, trying to figure out who nikki haley is, kanye's metal mouth, the RHOSLC reunion set, have i been cheating at the crossword?, why can't rich ppl just pay the IRS?, is "the mail room" still a job? does anyone know a fab tv/movie agent? and so much more!

topics: gays brawling in my patreon comments, a very handsome stranger who was so cruel to me, the coaster over drink seat saving protocol, the new season of drag race, monica beverly hill's original song "not a soul can clock", i facetime with america's sweetheart Cara Cunningham while she's out on the town, thinking a grapefruit was a giant orange, should i start watching Mad Men? do macs get viruses? can i unfollow frankie sharp? can i unfollow amy from gallery girls? the time i hosted Westgay in 2013, instagram notifications not working properly for years, when will fat gay guys start doing closet sales for the love of god??? why encre noire has to be my perfume for eternity, new season of The Traitors, and i guide us out with a beautiful Kenny G song <3

topics: my 2024 predictions list (major), figuring out what a "straw man argument" is, kathy griffin getting divorced (random), that moment in like 2017 when generic gays discovered laura dern, my new fav affordable cream moisturizer (korean), dumpy the white australian tree frog, do people in berlin speak german?, a 3 year old ordering an oat milk hot chocolate, why everyone is actually drawn to gyspy rose blanchard (they all resent their mother for just being born), and why having a shitty small tv actually is the vibe...happy new year please tell a friend about the pod :-) XOXO

megan fox machine gun kelly splitsville?ohio train derailment then a bunch more train derailmentsnew york times transphobia manifestoalligator in prospect park lakesteak egg cheese bagel back at mcdonald’smeghan trainor “mother”scandovalthe idoltwitter called X nowsome banks went out of business or ran out of money?law roach “retires”gwyneth paltrow goes to court for skiing accidentjewel sings national anthem at indy 500peter thiel’s boyfriend dies “while taking a selfie”vibes are off at coachellathe show “jury duty”tucker carlson firedabsolutely nothing to remark on about the met galawriters guild strikemartha stewart sports illustrated swimsuit editiondylan mulvaney bud lightvanderpump reunionthe ultimatum: queer lovenew season of couples therapypadam padam

insurrection in brazilprince harry and meghan press tourno speaker of the house for a minutegossip girl canceled after two seasonsgas stoves become illegal in new yorkandrew tate arrestedice spicethe last of usskinamarinkbrett easton ellis “the shards”madonna announces tourfrankie grande turns 40milf manorindie sleazereal friends of wehofinal season of successiongawker gets canned againchinese spy balloonny mag etiquette listrihanna superbowlhannah gatsby curating picasso show at brooklyn museumsam smith ft. kim petras “unholy”penn badgley won’t film sex scenes anymorediplo admits to getting head from a dudeufos everywhere

topics: questions about australia (do they have thanksgiving? their own burning man? comedians?), southern charm tea from a listener, the chris appleton lukas gage divorce, thoughts on the peruvian alien bods, thoughts on k-pop, my freaky friday sequel idea, celebrity big brother UK, "slade" from gay twitter going to jail for kiddie porn, real housewives of miami, cassie v. diddy, snoop dogg quitting weed, selling sunset, and so much more you know me and jacques go crazy <3

topics: the other night that i met norah jones and didn't know it was her, the sheep and wool festival in rhinebeck, the harp, what joanna newsom is up to, mariah carey's unparalleled genius, blaire white, skinwalker ranch, clara and mauricio (the peruvian alien bods), the worst insta comment i've ever seen, the msg sphere, Charmed, the rhony reunion, fav britney song, is planet earth hell in disguise?, what are we reading? does irish spring soap deter mosquitos?, and eric reads my tarot and it really isn't cool or looking good for me <3<3<3

topics: world music fall winter barreling on, why the health app should track how long you stand up for, the new yorker caption contest, the james charles x HRH collab, has the function of the drive thru fundamentally changed?, why can't you park in front of a church?, latest episode of southern charm popping TF off, tin foil hats, honestly how do veterinarians diagnose animals with anything?, are there factory farms for ducks?, why does no one pull their hamstring anymore?, wishing my credit card was sparkly and covered in glitter, trying to spell the word "ventriloquy", how annoying it is that the term "NPC" got normalized so quickly, and sooo much more!

topics: debuting a new gong sound effect, going to ikea for a third time this month, realizing the band CSS is brazilian and not french, being "single shamed" at the bar, the doc Last Call, the barbie movie spawning endless toy movies, skinwalker ranch mysteries, throwing my back out doing dishes, ice spice's questionable date of birth, kardashian birthday protocol, what to do if i'm in a coma, the weeknd's acting chops, gays on Hinge being obsessed with their moms, extreme body modifications, how dylan mulvaney can get into the good graces of conservatives, wtf does "draconian" actually mean?, rfk jr being mad hot shirtless, launching a campaign to bully evan ross katz, british people, and i answer all your questions!

topics: what the number 200 means to me, going ballistic about the alien discovery, "the phenomenon" movie, i revisit my CSS brazil scandal, shannon beador's DUI, furthering my education, what exactly is nihilism again?, the new season of love after lockup with a trans man, the special olympics, the many current public divorces that no one actually cares about, the orangutan who launched a possum off a telephone pole, the new season of glow up, finally not feeling bad about hating selena gomez, how random it was when everyone came out and said "the beatles actually suck", how one day all the kardashians will be dead, a mattress cover disaster, taking one bite of your fries in the car decreases them by like 80%, and i answer all your questions!

topics: being on cameo, troye sivan's new video, airpod etiquette, screen time in years, war photography, getting lyft receipts days later, fudge, what is up with birria tacos, being silenced in the natgeo insta comments, finding out the thing i care about the least (a tattoo shop closing), what would a women talking sequel be called?, deep dive into the secrets of skinwalker ranch (again), unknown: cave of bones, i bully evan ross katz for the last time, trying liquid death water from can, and i answer all your questions!

topics: reviewing all three flavors of the new snack wrap at burger king, working at cafe grumpy, printing at staples, witnessing a puppy play convention at the gay bar, the blue moon, unfollowing artists on instagram, jonathan cheban's hot sauce law suit, the kim and kanye divorce special, napoleon dynamite, kayla lemieux's new job, pitying the lantern fly, sun chips coming in a tube now, and i answer all your questions!