PODCAST · sports
Dirty Tackle
by Dirty Tackle
Soccer takes itself too seriously. We change all that with a swift boot to the ear. Hear weird news, comedy sketches, infighting, and merciless takedowns from the writers and editor of the award-winning blog DirtyTackle.net. From the pitch, to the stands, to the dregs of FIFA headquarters, no one is safe.
Episodes
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"Apologizing to Andres Iniesta"
As we process the news of Dimitar Berbatov's feature film debut, we have dirty tackles for the FA's plan to sell Wembley, Juve's big-match performances, and Theo Messi's unhinged rant about Jurgen Klopp. Then we ask if Andres Iniesta deserved a couple Ballons d'Or and where in the world is Jack...
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"Goodbye, Arsene Wenger"
As we mourn the impending departure of Arsene Wenger from Arsenal's bench, we issue dirty tackles for Russian racism and bear abuse. We also discuss Daniel Sturridge's car key/hospital bracelet, Joey Barton being a manager of a real club, and Neymar's absence from PSG's title celebration. And we...
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"Pep Guardiola: A Specialist in Losing Sometimes"
Brooks and Ryan are reunited in this episode to deliver dirty tackles to the attempt to expedite the World Cup's move to 48 teams, Liam Gallagher's second guessing of Pep Guardiola, and the ref who denied us a Ronaldo v Buffon showdown for the ages. Harry Kane's fight to take credit for other...
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"Roma Uncensored"
Our apologies for the lack of timeliness on this episode, but we've got old people insulting Jupp Heynckes, more Mo Salah magic, and MINOMAGGEDON . (We'll have a more up-to-date episode for you soon!) To hear our bonus "Extra Time" segment, contribute and join the ET Gang at...
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"The World Cup VAR-pocalypse"
After revealing FIFA's latest despicable World Cup money making scheme, we unleash dirty tackles on Atlanta United giving shirts to people who aren't Theo, VAR for it's World Cup ruining potential, and the Argentina national team for their continued mistreatment of Leo Messi. Plus: we hear a word...
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"11 Free Minutes of Mo Salah"
Leo Messi can't eat junk food anymore, but we can still dish out dirty tackles for Puma's boring new kits, journalists who compare Mo Salah to Messi (including Ryan), and the USA's amnesiac World Cup bid. We also discuss risky Salah goal promotions, Neymar's fun times in Brazil, and Jose…
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"Leo Messi: Nutmeg Addict"
Sponsored by Jamie Carragher's spit-shine car wash and Jose the Insult Comic Manager's new album, we've got dirty tackles for ball grabbing foul seekers, Neymar's Instagram insensitivity, and Leo Messi's nutmeg cruelty. Plus, we discuss Spurs' sexist survey questions, Sergio Ramos taking…
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"Arsene Wenger's Golden Toilet"
Ryan, Brooks, and Theo are reunited to discuss actual dirty tackles perpetrated against them, Arsene Wenger losing his marbles, and German fans touching themselves at Bundesliga matches. Unai Emery advertises his services, the PSG-Real Madrid tie is analyzed, as is Marco Reus' personal website…
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"Cristiano Ronaldo is All Out of Dreams"
Following a desperate plea from The Neymar Fund, we have dirty tackles for MLS's boring new kits, internet beefs, and Serge Aurier's foul throw-ins. The Wenger Out Sign Company introduces a new product line, then we also discuss Freddy Adu making history in Las Vegas, Jack Wilshere making…
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"Sergio Aguero's Spit Filled Ear"
Brooks is out the pictures this week, leaving Ryan and Theo to chat about everything from Wigan supporters' naughty behavior to dogs using public toilets to whether the FA Cup is even worth having at all to clubs hiring warlocks. Yes, it's pure insanity. To hear our bonus "Extra Time" segment,...
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"House Hunting with Zlatan"
Luke Shaw kicks us off with a heartfelt twist on a classic U2 song. Neymar, the VAR-less Champions League, and claims about Zlatan Ibrahimovic's real estate interests all get dirty tackled. Finally, FIFA 18 tutors and Arsenal's disregard for an eight-year-old Harry Kane are discussed to round out...
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"Pep Guardiola and the Invisible Substitutes"
With Theo Messi back in hiding, Ryan and Brooks dirty tackle Pep Guardiola's team selection temper tantrum and Man United's welcoming of Alexis Sanchez's dogs. In the return of "Throw Ins," the rise of sign based shirt begging, Neymar's whining, and Adam Lallana's youth-team freakout are all...
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"The Laporte Money Mystery"
Better late than never, our pre-transfer deadline episode starts with the debut of Ryan's soon to be charting topping single "Relegation Zone" and includes dirty tackles for Sporting Gijon's racism, the public display of Steven Gerrard autographs, and bitcoin transfers. In the final...
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"Freddy Adu: The Legend Continues"
Alexis Sanchez's dog starts things off with an exclusive peek into his Manchester diary, then it's dirty tackles for fans who piss in opposing goalkeepers' water bottles, the Brisbane Roar's faulty shirt numbers, and Phil Neville. In TRANSFERMAGEDDON, we discuss the possible return of Freddy Adu…
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"Uninspiring Team Talks from Ryan Giggs"
After getting a demotivational team talk from Ryan Giggs, we line up some dirty tackles on Arsene Wenger, journalists with idiotic perceptions of women's football, and Cristiano Ronaldo's tired negotiating tactics. In TRANSFERMAGEDDON, we cover Alexis Sanchez's Manchester switcheroo, Landon...
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"Conte And Mourinho Versus Dirty Tackle"
Brooks, Ryan, and Theo are all back together once again to deliver the first dirty tackles of 2018 to Man City, US Soccer, and Usain Bolt's footballing dream. We also insert ourselves in the the Mourinho v Conte war, debate the merits of VAR once again, and check in with Lukas Podolski's new...
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"DT Best Bits of 2017"
As we recover from our New Year's hangovers, we celebrate the first calendar year of the podcast by sharing some of our favorite fake ads and sketches from 2017. Bob Bradley, Jack McPintsnackle, and Roberto Firmino are all here, so sit back and enjoy the bits that make this the most bizarre...
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"Pirlo Bells Are Ringing"
Christmas meets Festivus as Brooks and Theo air their grievances with Antoine Griezmann and the royal family's choice of wedding dates. Then it's time to decide who's been naughty and who's been nice this year. Finally, gifts are handed out to deserving fans. To celebrate the holidays, this…
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"The Great Lactose War of Manchester 2017"
After a few technical hiccups, we've got dirty tackles for Jose Mourinho's "everything but football tactics," Jurgen Klopp's post-match interview testiness, and Lazio supporters' TripAdvisor reviews. Plus, we have a brand new segment—"Social Media Shootout"—where we debate recent social media...
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"High Fives in the Man City Activation Zone"
There was so much to cover in this week's episode that Hope Solo running for USSF president will have to wait. In the Dirty Tackles of the Week, Ryan goes after Southampton, Theo defends the accused in Sunderland Poo-Gate, and Brooks takes one last shot at Sunil Gulati on his way out the door....
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"Building The Lewandow$ki Brand"
As we kick off the festive season, Ryan takes issue with Poland for gaming the World Cup draw system, Theo defends the honor of Claude Makelele, and Brooks reveals the depressing plans for the Lewandowski brand. In "True Are Ya?" the origins of the Brighton-Palace rivalry are investigated, as are...
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"Happy Franksgiving"
Welcome to the first annual Franksgiving Special on the DT podcast! Instead of Dirty Tackles, we've got clean handshakes for journalists made to look silly by Mesut Ozil, the enduring spirit of Chapecoense, and Daniele De Rossi's good sportsmanship. We also have a very special guest appearance…
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"Cheap Zwedish Party Desk"
In this 100% non-contagious episode, Theo dirty tackles Bruce Arena's insensitivity, Brooks goes in on now former Italy manager Gian Piero Ventura, and Ryan takes down the entire concept of international football. The intersection of one-hit wonders and shirt numbers, plus Man United car…
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"The Neverending Chances of David Moyes"
As we mourn the retirement of Andrea Pirlo (and the creation of his artificial cheese brand), we've got dirty tackles for Sam Allardyce, Eric Wynalda, and Neymar. Plus, Mats Hummels' unique footwear gets discussed, as does David Moyes' employability, Kyle Martino's USSF presidential run, and...
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"Critiquing Patrice Evra's Head Kick"
Our sincerest apologies for the delay on this episode (recorded Nov. 2), but it's worth the wait! We've got dirty tackles for players who wear theirs shirts backwards, Patrice Evra's poor Cantona impression, and the omnipresence of urine in football. Plus, Man City's away-day wardrobe, Jamie…
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"Dani Alves Presents: The Worst Dirty Tackle Awards"
Brooks and Theo debate Pep Guardiola's "light ball" excuse while Ryan takes aim at the Everton fan who fought Lyon players while holding a child. Plus, exclusive dramatizations of Luke Shaw's letters to Victor Lindelof are shared, Maradona's love of Harry Kane is discussed, and The Worst Dirty...
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"Redknapps: Cryptocurrency & Shiny Suits"
While Ryan questions Harry Redknapp's interest in cryptocurrency and social media, Brooks and Theo deliver a rare tandem tackle on the nefarious owner of the Columbus Crew. Jupp Heynckes and Craig Shakespeare promote their new business ventures, and claims about naked team talks and Pep…
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"Aubameyang's Poisoned Orange Juice"
This episode was recorded before the US were terminated in Trinidad, so Brooks and Theo open with a few words on the shame of American soccer. But in the main episode, Brooks, Theo, and Ryan have dirty tackles for clubs that sell real merchandise for fake players, creepy Uncle Steve, and Dr.…
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"Goodbyebrow, Carlo Ancelotti"
With Theo Messi away on international duty, Brooks and Ryan aim this week's dirty tackles at critics of 2018 World Cup stadium modifications and Disney World (trust us, it makes sense...kind of). Jack McPintsnackle returns to flog his new side project, the intricacies of throwing pizza at Sir…
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"The Lacazette Strategy"
Ryan's got beef with The Club That Shall Not Be Named, Theo goes after Juve's president, and Brooks takes issue with Tottenham's desecration of The Lion King. Michael Owen announces the opening of his new movie theater, "True Are Ya?" gets tricky, and Barcelona's T-shirt tributes, Paul Pogba's...
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"Harry Redknapp Rash Tattoo"
While Ryan and Theo argue over who gets to take penalties for DTFC, we dirty tackle Birmingham for abandoning the Harry Redknapp project, Shanghai Shenhua for thinking they could get Carlos Tevez to care, and Arsenal's premature pitch invader for being a premature pitch invader. Plus, we have a...
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"Jamie Vardy's Banter Addiction"
While Alexi Lalas rants about the US national team, we've got dirty tackles for Crystal Palace's itchy trigger finger, the promise breakers at Milan, and Montpellier's misspellings. Our "True Are Ya?" segment makes a triumphant return with stories about Barca leaving La Liga and Frank De Boer's...
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"Banned from the Bruce Arena Arena"
As Theo Messi endures Sirenpalooza 2017 outside his secret safehouse, we've got dirty tackles for Bruce Arena's excuses, surprisingly effective Alexis Sanchez songs, and Wayne Rooney doing Wayne Rooney things. Plus, Christian Pulisic makes a public plea for help, we do some life reffing on Dele...
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"Crazy Arsene's Discount Depot"
We've got a whooole lot of Arsenal jokes in this episode, but that's not all! We've also got dirty tackles for Bournemouth stewards and Barcelona's mistreatment of their new signings, plus Life Ref decisions on PSG trolling their own fans, whether it's acceptable to brush your teeth at a match,...
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"Wayne Rooney, Cicada"
Ryan is repulsed by Man City's "tunnel club," Theo takes aim at the Lukas Podolski jet ski confusion, and Brooks calls Ryan out on his Wayne Rooney prediction. Jurgen Klopp unveils his new fragrance, and Life Ref decisions are made on Jack Wilshere's U-23 match red card, and Nicolai Muller's...
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"Kaka Does The Reverse Italian"
We've got dirty tackles for wantaway players who fake injuries and illness (looking at you Philly Cootz and Alexis Sanchez), anyone who gives Kaka a red card, and the most egregious half and half shirt of all time. In addition, the president of Huddersfield Town entices us to visit the home of…
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"All About Neymar"
As the title suggests, this episode has a whoooole lot of Neymar talk. Brooks, Ryan, and Theo discuss the TRANSFER OF THE MILLENNIUM (which one DT host didn't think would happen), including who deserves a dirty tackle for the part they played in the saga and whether it was a good move for the...
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"Not About Neymar"
This episode is a Neymar-free zone as Ryan isn't letting Darron Gibson badmouth his own club, Brooks is appalled by the Emirates Cup, and Theo swipes left on Tinder as Man United's sleeve sponsor. Jurgen Klopp issues a stern warning, and Life Ref decisions are made on divers getting banned in the...
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"Kylian Mbappe and the Walls of Ronaldo"
As the summer madness intensifies, Ronald McDonald, Daley Blind, and something related to the John Brooks transfer get dirty tackled. We hear from newly appointed LAFC coach Bob Bradley, and the Life Refs pass judgment on rat-eating mayors, Maradona's hypocrisy, and a reader in need of help…
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"The Neymar Conspiracy"
There's lots of vitriol as Ryan gets curmudgeonly about eSports, Theo lashes out on summer friendlies in the U.S., and Brooks gets heated about manufactured transfer rumors. A listener's question about switching club allegiances is also debated. To hear an extended version of the show with a…
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"Zlatan and Mino Rule the World"
This week, we take aim at Roman Abramovich's choice of gifts, the Dutch butterflies who shut down friendly football, and the bores at the 2. Bundesliga. We also catch you up on the Summer of Mino, Milan's awakening, Kyle Walker's massive transfer, and the shocking host for the 2026 World Cup. To...
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"John Terry as: The Villain"
Ryan, Theo and Brooks were all in different countries, but they still managed to put together a special minisode covering an unusual tale out of Brazil, a bad plan to boost attendance in Italy, and John Terry's unveiling at Aston Villa. There's also a lightening round of TRANSFERMAGEDDON…
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"Paul Pogba's Dabception"
While we wait in line to see The Garcia Report: The Movie, we discuss Paul Pogba's dab goal, De Boer twin confusion, children who stalk Leo Messi, Ryan's lack of journalistic integrity, Gareth Bale's acting career, and a fresh batch of TRANSFERMAGEDDON madness. We also plug the brand new MLS...
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"Save Luka Pickles!"
We kick off this episode by going in hard on the Spanish and Croatian prosecutors who are targeting our beloved footballers (#SaveLuka), then we discuss Luka Modric's love of "Rugrats," and Leo Messi's restaurant bills. We also cover another round of TRANSFERMAGEDDON, where we shred rumors about...
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"Chasing Squirrels"
While we prepare for Video Assistant Referees to take over the world, we discuss the tax evasion GOAT, Argentina's tactical oddities, and English goalkeepers chasing squirrels. Then in TRANSFERMAGEDDON, we cover a whole host of red hot transfer rumors about Kylian Mbappe, Zlatan Ibrahimovic…
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"Ronaldo and The Chocolate Sí"
While we stand in line for the Leo Messi Amusement Park in China, we discuss the latest transfer rumors (is Mario Balotelli going to Borussia Dortmund?), the meanest prank ever pulled, and the eternal delight of chocolate medals. We also cover questionable national team training practices and…
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"Tunnel of Death"
This week's episode includes discussion on the Champions League Final in luxurious (?!) Cardiff, transfer rumors, and pornstar footballers. Are Real Madrid coffins a real thing? Is Jimmy Bullard still alive? Did Ryan like Francesco Totti's farewell more than John Terry's? What about Arsene…
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"Treble of Disappointment"
Sponsored by José Mourinho's new fragrance, Dirty Tackle episode six begins with a discussion on Man United's "Treble of Disappointment," which they capped off by winning their first-ever Europa League. It also includes dirty tackles for Liverpool's travel agent and La Liga's trophy...
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"Diego Costa On The Loose"
While keeping an eye out for Diego Costa's Chelsea Championship rampage, enjoy our Dirty Tackles of Jose Mourinho, bagel deniers, and Ezequiel Lavezzi. We'll get to the bottom of whether Edinson Cavani has ever eaten a pizza in his life, and we make rulings on Spurs' stadium farewell ceremony,...
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"Champagne Wars"
What are "Champagne Wars" and how does one engage in them? It's debated in "True Are Ya?" along with Arsene Wenger's attempts at sarcasm. In the Dirty Tackles of the week, Leo Messi is somehow on the receiving end, and in 'Life Ref,' we scrutinize puking linesmen, shirt-tearing managers, and...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Soccer takes itself too seriously. We change all that with a swift boot to the ear. Hear weird news, comedy sketches, infighting, and merciless takedowns from the writers and editor of the award-winning blog DirtyTackle.net. From the pitch, to the stands, to the dregs of FIFA headquarters, no one is safe.
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Dirty Tackle
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