PODCAST · health
Discovering Our Scars
by Stephanie Kostopoulos & Beth Demme
Discovering Our Scars Podcast is all about one thing: honest conversations. Steph and Beth talk about things that make most people uncomfortable (religion, mental illness, sexual abuse, and more). Steph and Beth became friends when they poured their hearts out in a 12-Step recovery small group. Neither was dealing with addiction—but both had hurts, habits, and hang-ups they needed to address. Steph’s journey is detailed in her book, Discovering My Scars, and that’s the inspiration for the podcast. While the podcast is inspired by Steph’s book, the hosts expand on subjects that make each person unique. The mission of the podcast is to help people embrace the “embarrassing” parts of their lives and learn to love and value all of themselves. On the podcast, the hosts share their own experiences and invite guests to broaden the conversation by contributing their own wisdom. As in Steph’s book, the podcast does not “tell you what to do,” rather, it has the ability to inspire people through
Episodes
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In the end…What Stories Do Your Scars Tell?
Steph and Beth bring their five-year podcast journey to an end. They’ve shared a lot of honest conversations over the years and invited you to bring that conversation into your own life. This episode is no exception. Steph and Beth have shared the stories of their scars, but what stories do your...
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Discovering My Scars: Chapter 15 "Beautiful Scars"
Scars can be beautiful. The injuries that cause them might be terrible, but a scar is beautiful because it is proof of healing and growth. In this episode, Steph and Beth listen to and discuss chapter 15 of Steph’s memoir. The chapter is titled, “Beautiful Scars.” Steph’s journey has not been…
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Love is NOT a Feeling
They say “love makes the world go ‘round,” but what is love? What does it mean to love someone? Steph and Beth reflect on their experiences and delve into why love is more than something we feel—it’s something we do. Show Notes Steph's day with her foster greyhound video Questions for Reflection...
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Discovering My Scars: Chapter 14 "Found"
More than ten years ago, Steph and her mom were painting a room in Steph’s house when a thought passed through Steph’s mind, “How cool would it be if Home Depot paid us to paint my house?” A few years later, that fleeting thought became a reality. Steph’s DIY hobby converged with her love and...
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Coming Out Made Me a Better Christian (with Tracy)
In this episode, special guest Tracy shares her experience as a Christian who happens to be gay. When Tracy “came out,” she struggled to reconcile her sexuality with her belief in Christ. Like many, she was raised to believe that homosexuality and Christianity were incompatible and yet, both...
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Discovering My Scars: Chapter 13 "Inventory"
Steph and Beth originally met at work where they did a step study, working through all 12 steps together. In this episode they listen to and discuss chapter 13 of Steph’s memoir, Discovering My Scars, where Steph talks about the revelations of abuse that came from working the fourth step, making…
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I'm not that girl
Although we sometimes say that people can’t or don’t change, the truth is, life is all about change. Hopefully, we are always growing and learning so that we can become a better version of ourselves. Beth was recently going through a box of memories and found a bumper sticker declaring her to be…
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Discovering My Scars: Chapter 12 "Recovery 2.0"
Chances are good that you’ve heard of “The Twelve Steps.” These are often discussed in the context of addiction recovery, but Steph and Beth both learned a lot by walking the steps as part of a step study. Each step helps you address those hurts, habits, and hangups that get in your way. It was a...
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Why Didn’t I Know I Was a Lesbian?
At age 36, Steph discovered something important about herself--she is a lesbian. Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about how heteronormativity, especially in the church, delayed Steph’s full awareness of who she is created to be. Questions for Reflection: (1) Do you think people are born...
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Discovering My Scars: Chapter 11 "Faith"
Steph and Beth continue to listen to the audiobook version of Steph’s memoir, Discovering My Scars, and discuss what is revealed in chapter 11. At the end of the episode, Steph and Beth offer you these Questions for Reflection: (1) Have you had the experience of knowing only the next right step?...
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Discovering My Scars: Chapter 10 "Dear God"
Steph and Beth continue to listen to the audiobook version of Steph’s memoir, Discovering My Scars, and discuss what is revealed in chapter 10. In this chapter, God reveals to Steph that she was sexually abused when she was a young child. Steph shares that truth with people she trusts and she…
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Time to Say Goodbye
Have you ever found yourself at a crossroads, the kind where you wave off a piece of your life and step into the unknown? That's the heart of our latest episode, where Beth and Steph peel back the layers of emotion that accompany the goodbyes we face throughout life. From the annual farewells to...
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Discovering My Scars: Chapter 9 "43,829 Hours"
In this episode of the Discovering Our Scars Podcast, hosts Beth Demme and Stephanie Kostopoulos discuss chapter 9 of Steph's memoir, "Discovering My Scars." We unveil the profound power of vulnerability as we navigate the choppy waters of past traumas, workplace mental health, and PTSD. Full...
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Why Do The Holidays Hit Different?
Join us, Steph and Beth, as we embark on a festive journey to explore the emotional roller coaster that is the holiday season. Ever wondered why holidays stir up such complex emotions? We'll be examining the joy, frustration, comfort, and nostalgia that come with holiday traditions and how our…
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Discovering My Scars: Chapter 8 "Apple"
In this episode of the Discovering Our Scars Podcast, hosts Beth Demme and Stephanie Kostopoulos discuss chapter 8 of Steph's memoir, "Discovering My Scars." They discuss Steph's experience working at Apple and her passion for the company. They also delve into her experience of being sexually...
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Refugees in Our Backyard? (With Kristin)
In this episode of the Discovering Our Scars podcast, hosts Beth Demme and Stephanie Kostopoulos have an honest conversation with Kristin Barnett about refugees in their community. Kristin, who works with the nonprofit organization Neighborly, shares her experiences working with refugees and the...
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Discovering Our Scars: Chapter 7 "Aftermath"
We continue our journey with Steph through her memoir, Discovering My Scars. Steph and Beth listen to Chapter 7 of the audiobook and discuss it. In this chapter, Steph is released from the mental hospital, but then made to jump through hoops to help other people feel secure or reassured. She…
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Why Veterinarians Euthanize Themselves (with Stephanie B.)
September is Suicide Awareness Month. Veterinary professionals are significantly more likely to die by suicide than people working in other professions. Our special guest, Stephanie B., has been a vet professional for many years. She shares her insights about why individuals in this industry are...
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Discovering My Scars: Chapter 6 "74 Hours"
We continue our journey with Steph through her memoir, Discovering My Scars. Steph and Beth listen to Chapter 6 of the audiobook and discuss it. In this chapter, Steph remains in the mental hospital, more prisoner than patient. She’s told, again, to play the game and do things that will “add...
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Those Aren't Your Bags to Carry
We’ve all had someone try to guilt trip us. It’s the one trip no one wants to take! In spite of that, there are times we pick up the bags packed for that trip. The thing is, a guilt trip usually isn’t about you at all; it’s about the person trying to manipulate you. Once you know it’s not about...
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Discovering My Scars: Chapter 5 "37 Hours"
We continue our journey with Steph through her memoir, Discovering My Scars. Steph and Beth listen to Chapter 5 of the audiobook and discuss it. Steph’s coping mechanism, Non-Suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI), is misunderstood by a series of professionals and she is transferred to an intensive…
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How PRIDE Became Personal
From the beginning, Steph and Beth planned to be intentional about inviting LGBTQ voices into the conversation. Turns out, that was there all along! This is an honest conversation about a personal realization that PRIDE really is personal. Full transcript and show notes here:...
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Restarting Life After Loss
Loss is part of life, but restarting after a major loss can be especially challenging. In this episode, Steph and Beth reflect on recent and long ago losses and how they interrupted life. Whether it’s the loss of a parent, sibling, friend, pet, or job, life invites us to go on. This is an honest...
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Life Not According to Plan
We make plans—the BEST plans—and then life does what it does and our plans are for nothing. Steph and Beth planned to have a great start to 2023, but then Steph’s roof started leaking, Beth got COVID, and Steph had to say goodbye to her dog Mac. This is an honest conversation about grief,...
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How Men Think (with Daniel)
Daniel is the first guest to three-peat on the podcast! This time he’s here to fill Steph and Beth in on how men think. Are men as superficial as we think? Are they simple or complicated? Daniel addresses this and more in this honest conversation. Full transcript and show notes here:...
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New Year Reflections
Rather than making a New Year’s resolution, Steph and Beth invite you to take time for a New Year reflection. Instead of ending the episode with Questions for Reflection, this is an entire episode of Questions for Reflection. Steph and Beth take turns answering questions that reflect on what last...
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Pastor Beth Says "Happy Holidays"
It’s what Beth considers the most wonderful time of year—Christmas! Despite the importance of this holiday on the Christian calendar, some Christians spend the season being grumpy and unnecessarily aggressive, especially when they hear the phrase Happy Holidays. Christmas Trivia:...
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Discovering My Scars: Chapter 4 "Community College"
We continue our journey with Steph through her memoir, Discovering My Scars. Steph and Beth listen to Chapter 4 of the audiobook and discuss it. Steph begins using Non-Suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI) as a coping mechanism and, later, admits it to her mom. Her parents immediately help her find a...
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What's YOUR American Dream?
The typical “American Dream” is to work hard so you can play hard. Success means a family that looks a certain way, a home that looks a certain way, and a life that looks a certain way. And it’s all based on consumption. We buy more to feel more. But is there another way? What is YOUR dream, how...
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The Reality of Being a Female Veteran (with Katrina)
Our special guest for this episode is Beth’s long-time friend Katrina. Katrina served in the US Army from 1998 to 2014. She served in the US, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Korea. She shares with Steph and Beth what it was like to be in the Army and what it’s like now to be a female veteran. How does it...
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What the Hell?
This is an honest conversation about what happens when we die. Who decides who goes to Hell? Do all Christians believe in Hell? Does Beth have all the answers about the afterlife since she is a pastor? (Spoiler alert: She does not.) Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod130...
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Discovering My Scars: Chapter 3 "24 Hours"
We continue our journey with Steph through her memoir, Discovering My Scars. Steph and Beth listen to Chapter 3 of the audiobook and discuss it. This chapter is about Steph’s first few hours in the mental hospital, when she was in a holding pen like an animal. We talk about some of the patients...
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HOW Can I Love My Scars?
Steph and Beth talk about scars, but what are the steps they’ve taken to be able to actually say they love their scars? Do they love their scars? Why? Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod128 Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308 Stephanie Kostopoulos :...
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One of My Twins is Transgender (with Lisa)
Lisa thought she had a son and twin daughters, but by age four one of the twins began to describe themselves differently. Now, Lisa has a son and boy/girl twins. She generously shares with Steph and Beth how she knew her child’s gender expression was not a phase, but was an accurate description…
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Just Say YES
Beth has said before that she chooses to be an easy “yes.” Steph, however, asks questions and gets information before saying yes or no. Beth admits she is a people pleaser with a serious case of FOMO. Steph confesses that she once said no when a friend asked her to be a bridesmaid. What does it...
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Men.
Steph might have a chip on her shoulder when it comes to men, but the reality is men have tremendous power. They make decisions that impact the lives of women in huge ways, often with very little input from women. Steph and Beth discuss why they think men need to do more to change the power...
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Discovering My Scars: Chapter 2 "High School"
We continue our journey with Steph through her memoir, Discovering My Scars. Steph and Beth listen to Chapter 2 of the audiobook and discuss it. When Steph was fourteen, she was diagnosed with depression. She reacted by denying her feelings and trying to put on a happy face. In high school, she...
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She's 18 & Has Life Figured Out (with Hannah)
Beth’s daughter, Hannah, recently turned 18 and graduated from high school. In this episode, Steph and Beth toss out not-so-rapid-fire questions at her about life and what she’s figured out so far. She answers questions about politics, personal rights, and more. When you were 18, how would you…
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Discovering My Scars: Chapter 1 "12 Hours"
Steph’s memoir, Discovering My Scars, is the inspiration for this podcast. For the first time, Steph and Beth listen to the audiobook version together and discuss it. This episode covers the Introduction and Chapter One. Steph introduces the story and explains her motivation for writing and…
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Racism in America: We Have a Lot to Learn
The events of the last few years have helped Steph and Beth see that there’s a lot they don’t know about racism in America. This episode is about what they’ve been learning recently, specifically about the racism at the heart of the case of the Groveland Four and the Rosewood massacre. Both...
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Does Joy Come in the Morning? (with Latricia)
Rev. Dr. Latricia Edwards Scriven is a joy-filled person. She actually exudes joy. She joins Steph and Beth for a conversation about why joy matters, how it’s different from happiness, and how it is a skill that can be practiced. Latricia explains that there is nothing naïve or innocent about…
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Our Darkest Moments (Mental Health Awareness Month)
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and it’s also the anniversary of when Steph and Beth launched this podcast! In this episode, they talk about some of their darkest mental health moments. If you’ve experienced darkness, know there’s no stigma attached to you. Full transcript and show notes…
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Being Selfish is Good.
We are programmed to think it’s wrong to be selfish. But what if … it’s good? Steph and Beth explore the benefits of selfishness. Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod118 Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308 Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/ Beth…
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Should Beth Leave the Methodist Church?
Beth is a pastor in The United Methodist Church, but in this episode she and Steph discuss whether she should leave it behind. The UMC is undergoing a schism of sorts. Current denominational rules exclude LGBTQ+ Christians from serving as pastors and prohibit all pastors from performing weddings...
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His Side of My Story (with Pastor Matt)
When Steph was in the mental hospital, Pastor Matt visited her. He brought her clothes and the journal that ended up being the beginning of her book, Discovering My Scars. You heard Steph’s side of the story in Episode 2 and here you can hear Matt’s side of Steph’s story. How did they end up in…
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What Is Grace?
Ballerinas and figure skaters are graceful. Some folks exhibit grace under pressure. We say grace before a meal (at least, that’s what people call it where Steph and Beth live). So, what IS grace anyway? Steph asks Pastor Beth to explain “grace,” and together they explore how grace exists...
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Has the World Changed, For Good?
For two years, the COVID pandemic has been our shared global experience. Two years in, we have to ask, have things changed FOR GOOD? Have they changed permanently? Have things changed in a way that is beneficial? Steph and Beth review their own lives and find new commitments to public health as...
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Stop Wasting Your Emotions on THESE People (with Dr. Jill)
From the earliest days of dreaming about the podcast, Steph and Beth knew they wanted to have Dr. Jill as a guest. The long-awaited day has arrived! Dr. Jill joins Steph and Beth for a conversation about the kinds of people we all need to stop wasting our emotions on. This is a great conversation...
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I'm Broken and It's Beautiful
Let’s face it, no one gets through life without some brokenness. We don’t choose our brokenness, but we can choose how we react to it. Do we see our brokenness as something ugly, or can we see the beauty in our healing and recovery? We aren’t saying we are broken but nonetheless beautiful, we are...
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Don't Pull That Trigger (Word)!
Some words trigger an involuntary reaction or feeling in us. Steph and Beth share personal experiences with words that bother them. For Beth, it’s hearing someone claim the Bible CLEARLY says something. For Steph, it’s being called GIRL. For both of them, it’s being told they SHOULD do or say...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Discovering Our Scars Podcast is all about one thing: honest conversations. Steph and Beth talk about things that make most people uncomfortable (religion, mental illness, sexual abuse, and more). Steph and Beth became friends when they poured their hearts out in a 12-Step recovery small group. Neither was dealing with addiction—but both had hurts, habits, and hang-ups they needed to address. Steph’s journey is detailed in her book, Discovering My Scars, and that’s the inspiration for the podcast. While the podcast is inspired by Steph’s book, the hosts expand on subjects that make each person unique. The mission of the podcast is to help people embrace the “embarrassing” parts of their lives and learn to love and value all of themselves. On the podcast, the hosts share their own experiences and invite guests to broaden the conversation by contributing their own wisdom. As in Steph’s book, the podcast does not “tell you what to do,” rather, it has the ability to inspire people through
HOSTED BY
Stephanie Kostopoulos & Beth Demme
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Discovering Our Scars have?
Discovering Our Scars currently has 162 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Discovering Our Scars about?
Discovering Our Scars Podcast is all about one thing: honest conversations. Steph and Beth talk about things that make most people uncomfortable (religion, mental illness, sexual abuse, and more). Steph and Beth became friends when they poured their hearts out in a 12-Step recovery small group....
How often does Discovering Our Scars release new episodes?
Discovering Our Scars publishes regularly with 162 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Discovering Our Scars?
You can listen to Discovering Our Scars on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Discovering Our Scars?
Discovering Our Scars is created and hosted by Stephanie Kostopoulos & Beth Demme.
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