DJ Brains

Another show extracted from my rectum. Exciting. B

DJ WITH A TASER! HANDS UP! I'm out of ideas B

Give it 20 years and AC will have to be standard in the UK. We're roasting. Like a chicken. B

Mate! The UK is fully in meltdown right now. Literally. We can't handle this heat. We're going to have to become one of those nations where A/C is standard. Okay now as I type this I'm wondering whether I quit DJing and start doing HVAC. Big ups to the NEW Patreons this week! Welcome aboard JoeV (Chat massi!) and The Light Jockey. Maximum respect to you both! Big ups! B

Stick this up your gyatt B

Hey guys! I went to Wales for my birthday 2 weeks ago, so it's been a while! I still have another show cued up to record. If only I could find a spare 2 hours to record it. Anyhoo, hope this one tickles the old garage taste buds. B

Yes peeps, Back with a fresh selection. Was wrestling with a new streaming rig so there was some technical support going on during the show. How interesting, right? Sugondese beats, B

That's Amore! B

Harmonising the planet with some global garage. Got tunes from all over the globe, fam. Let's hug. In a non-creepy way. One love. B

{Insert mildly racist Irish comment here, laddy} B

It's yoooooj. B

Lightbulb crew where you dere? B

So dry January is done. Mine's a large, please. Leave the bottle. B

Sorry for going missing. I was coughing my nuts up for a couple of weeks. Oh well. B

It's the last show of the year. We're between the balls of Christmas and the butthole of New Year. The perfect place to play some tunes. Hope you had a great Christmas. All the best for 2026. B

Hey! It's been a minute. Still interested in hearing some stuff? Whatevs B

So is this a boozy DUI whilst listening to Garage n Bass, or Garage n Bass is the influence you're under? Who fricken knows. Can you tell I'm down a bodycam YouTube rabbithole? B

Oh it's so clever. You remembered them from the 90s and put it in the title because of that number. You're so cool. Spit on me. B

Actually my 15 years on Sub.FM anniversary. Barmy like army. Thanks for your ears for 1 and a half decades. B

AI is getting so mental now. Seen a bodycam video of goddamn Spongebob being pulled over and they're telling me the ish is AI?! WTF B

Bossman you want salad chilli sauce? No onion, yeah? You want it wrapped or open? Cash only mate

Do you think I've got a slappable face? I'm just that prick. Call me names. B

We're getting low low low, but it's the low end of the eq. BANTZ B

It's the motherflippin' Garage n Bass wine mixer! Yeah it's a quart. B

Sup foo's Pop a squat to this one, homes B

Ey yo bunky, I'm gonna make some UK Garage, jailhouse style. Just need a Snickers, coffee creamer and some cold toilet water. You in? Bussin' B

Super_hot_garageNbass.exe loaded successfully B

Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's FlingYaBean. What in the Jimminy Crickey am I on about? B

My money don't jiggle jiggle, it [90s 56k modem connecting sound] B

No wheelchair access here, mate. We no rampin' B http://youtube.com/watch?v=c7PeBECnuBE

Does anyone have a smint? B

Keep it slipperier than a lotion boy, fam B

MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT Okay Boomer. B

Hey! Here's the lost show. Recorded on a quiet Sunday evening. How exciting. B

4 week hiatus but we're back. Keep an eye out - I have the lost show tracklisted and am waiting for a record. Hope you like this one. B

Love was in the air last week. This week... ah who gives a fudge. Hate. Hate is in the air. That's it. Something something garage. B

Come my lady. That's all I got. B

IT'S EPISODE 420 LOLOLOLOL RAWFULCOPTER I hate myself B

Bonus beats for you right here as we missed a show over Christmas. Big clackers on this one. One love B

WE BACK! Survived into 2025. Did you know that in October this year it will be 15 years on Sub.FM for me? I've spent longer on Sub than I did in school. Explains a lot. Keep it livid. B

Alright Quaids, Anyone got a Smint? Wrap me some up for Christmas along with the cookies. B

You dun know I played a tune called Lotion today and ended up going down a PhoneShop rabbit hole. Don't be a pH-DEEKHEAD, fam! A owl. B

Coming with them Grandad references. Hold tight the Zoomers and the Alph-falphas. Anyone want a Werthers? A feeling that you never will forget. B

Takes me about 6 hours of set up and 2 hours of post-production to do a show. A full working day. I'm bloody knackered. B

I feel like fall is such a vibe, you know? I spent the whole weekend baking pumpkin muffins and watching ‘Hocus Pocus.’ Now I’m about to grab a PSL and go leaf-peeping. You know it’s a good day when you wake up and it smells like cinnamon. I seriously wait all year for this pumpkin spice moment. It just feels like a warm hug in a cup. OMG B

Plop. Dorpy dorp. Yanking a plorbgorb. Is anyone listening? B

At what point do I become such an old white fart that it is actually offensive for me to talk like I'm still a 17 year old East Londoner from the 90s? What's that? About 5 years ago, you say. You're probably right. Cancel the fat prick, now. B

Yeah, them vibes. Rage on a level parred with Scarface quitting his job at His Royal Beefiness. Love you guys! B

Ever feel like your face is a haggard old testicle? I'm so old I need to give Jesus his headphones back. My bones. B https://youtu.be/IS0_lhaGDfg

Yeah man! B