DJ Brains

Mate! The UK is fully in meltdown right now. Literally. We can't handle this heat. We're going to have to become one of those nations where A/C is standard. Okay now as I type this I'm wondering whether I quit DJing and start doing HVAC. Big ups to the NEW Patreons this week! Welcome aboard JoeV (Chat massi!) and The Light Jockey. Maximum respect to you both! Big ups! B

Stick this up your gyatt B

Hey guys! I went to Wales for my birthday 2 weeks ago, so it's been a while! I still have another show cued up to record. If only I could find a spare 2 hours to record it. Anyhoo, hope this one tickles the old garage taste buds. B

Yes peeps, Back with a fresh selection. Was wrestling with a new streaming rig so there was some technical support going on during the show. How interesting, right? Sugondese beats, B

That's Amore! B

Harmonising the planet with some global garage. Got tunes from all over the globe, fam. Let's hug. In a non-creepy way. One love. B

{Insert mildly racist Irish comment here, laddy} B

It's yoooooj. B

Lightbulb crew where you dere? B

So dry January is done. Mine's a large, please. Leave the bottle. B

Sorry for going missing. I was coughing my nuts up for a couple of weeks. Oh well. B

It's the last show of the year. We're between the balls of Christmas and the butthole of New Year. The perfect place to play some tunes. Hope you had a great Christmas. All the best for 2026. B

Hey! It's been a minute. Still interested in hearing some stuff? Whatevs B

So is this a boozy DUI whilst listening to Garage n Bass, or Garage n Bass is the influence you're under? Who fricken knows. Can you tell I'm down a bodycam YouTube rabbithole? B

Oh it's so clever. You remembered them from the 90s and put it in the title because of that number. You're so cool. Spit on me. B

Actually my 15 years on Sub.FM anniversary. Barmy like army. Thanks for your ears for 1 and a half decades. B

AI is getting so mental now. Seen a bodycam video of goddamn Spongebob being pulled over and they're telling me the ish is AI?! WTF B

Bossman you want salad chilli sauce? No onion, yeah? You want it wrapped or open? Cash only mate

Do you think I've got a slappable face? I'm just that prick. Call me names. B

We're getting low low low, but it's the low end of the eq. BANTZ B

It's the motherflippin' Garage n Bass wine mixer! Yeah it's a quart. B

Sup foo's Pop a squat to this one, homes B

Ey yo bunky, I'm gonna make some UK Garage, jailhouse style. Just need a Snickers, coffee creamer and some cold toilet water. You in? Bussin' B

Super_hot_garageNbass.exe loaded successfully B

Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's FlingYaBean. What in the Jimminy Crickey am I on about? B

My money don't jiggle jiggle, it [90s 56k modem connecting sound] B

No wheelchair access here, mate. We no rampin' B http://youtube.com/watch?v=c7PeBECnuBE

Does anyone have a smint? B

Keep it slipperier than a lotion boy, fam B

MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT Okay Boomer. B

Hey! Here's the lost show. Recorded on a quiet Sunday evening. How exciting. B

4 week hiatus but we're back. Keep an eye out - I have the lost show tracklisted and am waiting for a record. Hope you like this one. B

Love was in the air last week. This week... ah who gives a fudge. Hate. Hate is in the air. That's it. Something something garage. B

Come my lady. That's all I got. B

IT'S EPISODE 420 LOLOLOLOL RAWFULCOPTER I hate myself B

Bonus beats for you right here as we missed a show over Christmas. Big clackers on this one. One love B

WE BACK! Survived into 2025. Did you know that in October this year it will be 15 years on Sub.FM for me? I've spent longer on Sub than I did in school. Explains a lot. Keep it livid. B

Alright Quaids, Anyone got a Smint? Wrap me some up for Christmas along with the cookies. B

You dun know I played a tune called Lotion today and ended up going down a PhoneShop rabbit hole. Don't be a pH-DEEKHEAD, fam! A owl. B

Coming with them Grandad references. Hold tight the Zoomers and the Alph-falphas. Anyone want a Werthers? A feeling that you never will forget. B

Takes me about 6 hours of set up and 2 hours of post-production to do a show. A full working day. I'm bloody knackered. B

I feel like fall is such a vibe, you know? I spent the whole weekend baking pumpkin muffins and watching ‘Hocus Pocus.’ Now I’m about to grab a PSL and go leaf-peeping. You know it’s a good day when you wake up and it smells like cinnamon. I seriously wait all year for this pumpkin spice moment. It just feels like a warm hug in a cup. OMG B

Plop. Dorpy dorp. Yanking a plorbgorb. Is anyone listening? B

At what point do I become such an old white fart that it is actually offensive for me to talk like I'm still a 17 year old East Londoner from the 90s? What's that? About 5 years ago, you say. You're probably right. Cancel the fat prick, now. B

Yeah, them vibes. Rage on a level parred with Scarface quitting his job at His Royal Beefiness. Love you guys! B

Ever feel like your face is a haggard old testicle? I'm so old I need to give Jesus his headphones back. My bones. B https://youtu.be/IS0_lhaGDfg

Yeah man! B

Hey guys! Took me a minute but I found time to smash out a mix for you. Sorry for missing my last show. Life gets in the way. Anyway, whatevs. I'm sure both of you were upset. Pushing today's like goal to be 3 likes! LET'S GO! TURN ME UP! Unalive me. B

Bouncing like bassline, fam. Empty your brain and fill it with this. B

Tion Wayne once said "My love life's roulette roulette" and that can never be more appropriate on Father's Day. Out to all the lads that shot up the club and found out. It's your time. Also episode 404. So there's that. Lolly. Can't wait for episode 418. B