Don't Be Ugly

After being dishonorably discharged from the hospital, Caroline joins Phillip to discuss her selfless act of kindness, Hollywood nepo babies, the American healthcare system, and the unjust treatment of frat boys. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

United by a shared hatred for their new gay employee, Caroline & Phillip expose the downfall of modern reporting, debrief Caroline’s red carpet interviews, and defend Mark Zuckerberg’s mega-yacht mishap. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Caroline & Phillip debate the ethics of lying to strangers, if your partner's friends count as your own, whether 40 is officially old, if fruit really does rot, and whether feminine energy might be the key to solving the energy crisis. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Caroline & Phillip debate who their therapist's favorite patient is, whether cars have pretty privilege, which famous historical figures might have been gay, and what Phillip should do after a gym employee read his personal diary. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Recovering from last night’s studio fire, Caroline & Phillip return to a podcast studio in ruins to discuss Phillip’s magazine feature, Caroline’s TikTok cancellation, their chaotic weekend apart, and the bizarre success of a movie named after a minivan. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After Caroline opens up about her phone-free retreat, Phillip catches her up on everything she missed: the celebrity divorce no one saw coming, a new wave of trad-wife teens, life under a totalitarian dictatorship, and the dangers of climbing Mount Everest. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Caroline & Phillip discuss whether your name determines your fate, Harvard's admissions policies, their family's global footprint, Taylor Swift's flop wedding ceremony, a blonde Mona Lisa, and the ridiculous ways people raise money for charity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Phillip admits he got scammed by a fake psychic (shocking). Caroline panics about her boyfriend flirting at a gym she doesn't attend. She also cancels 4th of July after Phillip points out her social circle is more of a triangle. All while exposing the Fairytale Industrial Complex. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Caroline and Phillip discuss Lizzo's successful new album, analyze how the UK's child phone ban will inevitably cause their podcast to flop, and ask the question on everyone's mind: will Taylor Swift have to hire bridesmaids for her upcoming wedding? The world is waiting. #hingepartner http://hin.ge/dontbeuglypod Broadcasting live from an abandoned warehouse in downtown Los Angeles Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Deranged from their new European roomies, Caroline & Phillip expose the truth about Olivia Rodrigo's new album cover, the real cost of Dua Lipa's wedding, the odds of 007 to be played by a gay man, and the infamous JoJo Siwa cruise disaster. #hingepartner http://hin.ge/dontbeuglypod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Caroline and Phillip test Caroline's narcissism with surprising results, uncover a hidden network of tech bros pleading for female attention, and examine the ethics of having too many children. #hingepartner http://hin.ge/dontbeuglypod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Phillip's car got stolen by parking enforcement and Caroline was uninvited from Dua Lipa's wedding. To lighten the mood, Caroline & Phillip share confidence tips from Marilyn Monroe, expose the billionaire fitness industry, tackle pop culture and tech's most pressing questions, and map out their retirement plans. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Caroline & Phillip question some shocking "A-List" couples, debrief Caroline's epic birthday party that was heard 'round the world, offer advice to a girl whose boyfriend left her to become a priest, and investigate their newest podcasting competitor: the sisterhood. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After their studio gets ransacked, Caroline & Phillip recount a nearly identical childhood robbery, revisit the Titanic tragedy, stress over Caroline's looming birthday party, make a case for Olivia Jade, and reveal why Caroline turned down Cannes this year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Caroline recaps her boyfriend's first visit to her Ohio hometown and hints at her former A-list boyfriend. Phillip unveils a shocking secret about aliens courtesy of a former NASA whistleblower, and Caroline struggles to keep up with the philosophical questions it raises. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Caroline & Phillip offer a rare look inside their childhood, the humiliating things they've done for money, the ugly truth about being a twin, Caroline's ongoing cancellation, and what it's going to take to keep this show alive. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Caroline & Phillip tackle the history of the Gen-Z housing crisis. Corporatize everything. Just know Caroline's Prada combat boots are privately held. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Caroline & Phillip think that life would be better if their mother exploited them for content at a young age. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Caroline & Phillip discuss why they turned down a brand's VIP Coachella experience. After dozens of celebrities used Caroline's image and likeliness to profit off of her, Caroline prefers to distance herself from that world anyways. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Caroline & Phillip realize that for the podcast to last, it needs a proper foundation. After a surprise ADHD diagnoses, a modeling photoshoot gone wrong, and a hit-piece targeting Caroline's body, the odds are stacked against them. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Caroline & Phillip reminisce on the six years they spent off the air. DBU is back. This time, everything is different. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After a six year sabbatical, Caroline & her brother make their triumphant return to podcasting. Some people have beauty, others have brains. Luckily, they have both. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Brother is back! In today's episode, we talk about Caroline's new luxurious LA lifestyle. We also talk about past memories like how our childhood home got broken into but we didn't notice for 3 days (I thought my brother borrowed all my money). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TikTok superstar Dawn Morante joins Caroline on this weeks podcast episode. Caroline forces Dawn to take an ugly test before she can give beauty advice to our listeners. Dawn and Caroline also talk about being roomies and members the TikTok Mansion, The House Nobody Asked For, located in the heart of Los Angeles. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this week's episode, we talk about our confusion surrounding Shane Dawson's influence on the YouTube beauty community. Like who let a 31 year old that looks like he doesn't shower sell a million average looking eyeshadow palettes?? We also give advice to an up and coming makeup artist with overbearing parents. Just run away, duh! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this week's episode, we discuss Jeffree Star's newest scandal (c'mon Jeffree, you're 34, get your life together!) and how Caroline was on his payroll. We also give the presidential candidates beauty advice that could get them elected. This all comes from the Student Body President of the United States so listen up! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this week's episode, Caroline bribes her mom into being a special guest by telling her that they would go on a shopping spree (she lied). Reluctantly, Caroline's mom gets candid about Caroline's lavish upbringing as well as the time she was approached by a random woman offering her a modeling career in Milan. Unfortunately, she turned down the offer so she could be a stay-at-home mom in Ohio. Exciting! FunctionofBeauty.com/dontbeugly to take your four part hair profile quiz and save 20% on your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this week's episode, we roast influencers who use the BLM protests as backgrounds for their Instagram photos. We also help a struggling orphan to reconnect with his long lost mother. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this week's episode, we talk about how plastic surgery is the answer to climate change because surgeons are reusing plastic water bottles and injecting them into the face. We also give a listener advice on how to become rich by virtually doing nothing AKA Caroline's entire career. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this week's episode, we talk about Jeffree Starr's controversial eyeshadow palette that is made of human cremations. We also discuss Caroline's celebrity connections and give advice to a listener that wants to get into Caroline's A list circle of friends. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this week's episode, we talk about mean girl Ellen DeGenerous and cancel culture. We also talk about Caroline's inability to handle college and come to the realization that she will not be able to graduate. FunctionofBeauty.com/dontbeugly to take your four part hair profile quiz and save 20% on your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this week's episode, we about the reality of college and why influencers should stay in school. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this week's episode, we give an ex-convict beauty advice that will change her life and land her a job. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this week's episode we discuss how most of your favorite influencers are poor. No, we're not talking about us. FunctionofBeauty.com/dontbeugly to take your four part hair profile quiz and save 20% on your first order. For 50% off your first Care/of order, go to TakeCareOf.com and enter code ugly50. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every Monday, Me and my co-host Philip are going to teach you how to Not Be Ugly from the back of our dads minivan. Some of us have beauty, others have brains. I have both. This is why I am offering advice free of charge. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices