PODCAST · comedy
Don't Do It Yourself
by DDIYPodcast
You look like you could use some help. We're an instruction/comedy podcast, where we take Wikihows and requests to create new how-to guides. It gets out of control pretty quickly.
Episodes
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DDIY 73 - Urban Legends
This episode has our longest intro ever, where we introduce Pete, the serial killer who can't kill people. After that we make urban legends about the Skunk Ape, Ga-Panther, and Compost Pete, make our 101st Silence of the Lambs reference, talk about the Hook Man, a lot of old stories we brought up...
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DDIY 72 - Silence of the Lambs - The Musical
How to give gifts like a dick. How to know if you are being haunted by a sex ghost. If you are being haunted by a sex ghost, is it a sensual sex ghost or just the regular kind? Best movies to turn into musicals. Got it all here, folks. DDIY: How to give passive aggressive gifts DSIY: 15 signs you...
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DDIY 71 - Doomba the Roomba
The name of the game this week is survival. Surviving in the world after an EMP blast. Surviving in Future House, the reality tv show about the future where roombas are out to get you. Surviving in a mall with a monkey armed with a chainsaw. You know, situations you could easily find yourself any...
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DDIY 70 - Burgle The Burglar
How do you stop a burglary? By robbing them instead. Then becoming burgle bandit named Rob Robertson. If snakes were fireproof, could you launch them at houses to put out fires? Will you get a free pass to heaven if someone who got Raptured ate your finger? Could God be considered the ultimate...
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DDIY 69 - Susan B Anthony Kiedis
What's Montana fashion week like? How can you escape a party when all you have is a police uniform? Can Cosmo actually be funny? What is the sex position called "The Susan B Anthony"? When did Zac became a motorcycle centaur? Most of these and many more questions you never ever asked us get...
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DDIY 68 - Pecs Motorcycle
Frucken are a combination of frogs and chickens, you can tell if someone broke up with Mike on account of the spoon fires and Pecs Motorcycle is the best name ever made. DDIY - How to write good erotica DSIY - The End-Of-Time-Cop DVIY - Ukranian Bride Documentary
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DDIY 67 - Randy Recliner
In thirty minutes we mention Thompson's Wood Seal and diamond teeth, rhyme like G-Eazy and Limp Bizkit, get sexually molested by recliners, have a PSA on a very serious issue in a very not serious way, explain Snake Church, and Zac defends eating Glow Sticks. Wikihow: How to Whiten Your Teeth By...
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DDIY 66- Rock'em Sock'em People
Just take a look at the wikihow we cover today. You know this is going to be good. Also we manage to make references to Cypress Hill, Sublime, and the Police. Good times. Don't Do It Yourself: How to Get a Crowd to Stop Urging You to Fight Someone Don't Screw It: More Cosmo Nonsense! Don't View…
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DDIY 65 - Spirit Animals
Because they get touched so much, do braille books smell bad? Don't Do It: How to Find Your Spirit Animal Don't Screw It: Stairs and Ladders Don't View It: "Botched"
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DDIY 64 - Stranded Astronauts with @radtoria
This week we are joined by the hilarious @radtoria to talk about sex positions involving Hot Wheels, cooking shows starring prison inmates, and what to do if you are an astronaut stuck on a deserted island.
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DDIY 63 - A Good Manager Is Like a Shitty Dad
We upgraded! With our microphones comes three different sections. Don't Do It Yourself, Don't Screw it Yourself and Don't View It Yourself! We talk about complimenting people you hate, get some morning sex positions wrong, and watch the first episode of THE SLAP so you don't have to do it. Please...
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DDIY 62- John Wayne Ga-cy & JoJo
Analyzing your dreams. Enjoying shows you don't enjoy. Porn titles from famous dead authors and the legislative process. Conspiracy theories about Tipper Gore being bovine. Filling a teddy bear with "all the hair that is left over after sex". We really hit all the cultural touch points this week....
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DDIY 61 - Sex Chrysalis
Happy Valentine's Day! Big changes this week. We got new microphones and sound better than ever. We use our new powers to give you some morning sex positions in a Cosmo quiz and learn how to celebrate Valentine's Day without being all lovely dovey. Especially to you, Lauren. God I hate you.…
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DDIY 60 - Saw 'Zaw
Just five more episodes and this podcast is eligible for Medicare. We talk Radiator Pizza Parties, have a Cosmo game about sex moves at Sochi last year, and perform self hypnosis to get....bigger. I'm sorry we talk about dicks so much this week. Topics: Cradle the Head, Officer Sexyboyfriend…
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DDIY 60 - Saw 'Zaw
Just five more episodes and this podcast is eligible for Medicare. We talk Radiator Pizza Parties, have a Cosmo game about sex moves at Sochi last year, and perform self hypnosis to get....bigger. I'm sorry we talk about dicks so much this week. Topics: Cradle the Head, Officer Sexyboyfriend…
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DDIY 59 - I'm Inceptioning You
You'll notice some differences this week. We're trying out some new stuff in preparation for some big changes next week! Don't worry, we still make the same terrible jokes. Topics: Birdo Chug, Narwhalin', Space Jam Rock Opera, #DeersAndShit, Pavolvian Apple Sex Response, Sex Cape, Shaky Sex Cam,...
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DDIY 58 - Hobo Tear Flavored Ice Cream
This week we do a wikihow about sneaking ice cream into work, play a game on a 50 Shades Cosmo article, and Clay tries his hand at accents and does a terrible job. Topics: Grandalf the Yellow, Donebutton.com, Refrigerated Tophat, Locally Foraged Hobo Tears, Laptop Minifridge, White Balls of Food,...
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DDIY 57 - Immortal but Incontinent
One Wikihow and a single Cosmo today, and they are both great. Topics: The Original Immortal, Elf Life, Ball Gown, "Oil My Briefcase, Knee Jerk, Wolmo and Wolfgalangalang, Black to the Future, Lacist, I'm the Captain Now, Pleated Hoodie, Desolation of Smaug Wikihow: How to make people think you…
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DDIY 56 - Forever Skyborn
Hope you all had a great holiday break. We sure as hell did. Note: I accidentally chopped off part of the intro, which explains why we bring up Gandalf's horse Shadowfax as some kind of horse/fax machine crossbreed a few times without explanation. Topics: Brody the terrible window cleaner…
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DDIY 55 - Sir Michael Jordan of Dunkelsberry
Topics: BangsBros, Sir Michael Jordan, Tiny Hats, Mom Loves Olive Puns, Condiment Bandolier, Hamburglar, Senior Wonka, Candy Dick, Pwning Noobs in the Bedroom, 2ToChoose, Sandbanger, IHOP Sex, Pirate's Foursome, BassoonJokes Wikihows: How to Wear a Fascinator, How to Improve Your McDonalds...
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DDIY 54 - Sneeze Stealing
You guys asked us to talk about stealing sneezes from people so you could live forever, right? Topics: Sneeze Docking, Silencer, Mute to Poot, AWBC, Smell-o-Vision, Satan's Whistle, Waldoverse, Waldo 3:14, Peter Pan's Bad Guy, MegaHurtz the Pain Robot, First Impression Email, Chop Yourself in…
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DDIY 53 - Witch Hand
This episode is brought to you by Mountain Dew and the new Lionsgate Film Crime Baby. By the end of this we created a lone ranger-esque cowboy who rides a camel wearing geisha makeup and was cursed by a gypsy to have a witch hand, but only when he's about to masturbate. Wikihows: How to Paint a...
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DDIY 52 - Weaponized Facebook
We get to the hard questions, the ones that have really been troubling you. Which Spice Girl would you spend time in a sack with? How do you get arrested for sex mimes? Are koalas the guns of Australia? How terrible are people who like feet? How can you weaponize Facebook? Which is 'the good…
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DDIY 51 - Jenny Got a Hemi
We're back after a brief intermission! We've been recording steadily but Clay fell behind in editing episodes, but we are back to weekly releases. Clay says he's sorry. We believe him. This week we tackle two wikihows, a new segment, and another dose of Cosmo. Topics: Chopped- Halloween Edition…
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DDIY 50 - Tighter Than Hagrid's Hut
We finally hit the big 50! We're an over the hill podcast now. Thanks everyone who has listened over the past year. Grab the latest Cosmo mag, sidle up to the S.S. Waterspout's fish fountain and let's enjoy our time together. Topics: SS Waterspout, I'm not goth I just miss grandma, Buffalo Bill…
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DDIY 49 - Ken Grippyfeet, Jr.
NSFW. I know most of our episodes aren't safe for work, but this one is the worst in a long time. If you don't like people talking about diarrhea, I'd suggest checking out our other 48 episodes. If you like poop jokes, then the first ten minutes is your El Dorado. Once you make it through the…
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DDIY 48 - Downwind Abbey
How can you find a dragon in the 21st century? They probably own a Cash for Gold business and are wearing sandals with pants. How do you properly spoon someone? We suggest the Ampersandwich or the Matrix. How rough was it to live near a dragon? According to the newest period drama Downwind Abbey,...
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DDIY 47 - Grano-YOLO
Topics: Drunk ghost hunters, Smuggling ice cream into space, Mars., Pigcasso and Hog Hogan, Whipperpipe, Pack it in my mouth bong, hippiest death, 98.6 MKPK, Gods raining on my forehead, Juggalo homelessthetician, Horse life cycle Wikihows: How to be YOLO, How to show your pigs, How to rub your...
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DDIY 46 - Homemade Batman
Is Batman a superhero or a genius ninja detective? Does Bane sound like Julia Child? How do I get my dog to dance with ecstasy? How do I out-psycho a sociopath? What do you call an electric flyswatter? Is a group of lollipop owners called a guild? We answer all of these this week. Wikihows: How…
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DDIY 45 - The Plinko Method (Anniversary Show)
We've been doing this one whole year. To celebrate, we talk about anniverary gifts, having a great Saturday getting high in the Redwoods, and how we can smooch a lady at the movies even if we didn't come with them. Along the way we destroy a lot of childhood memories. It's been a great year, you...
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DDIY 44 - A Bus Full of Second Cousins
We start off with a chillwave rainy day episode, but this one quickly devolves into madness. We are going to blame either Clay's off-brand energy drinks or the improv lessons he took this past week with a hobo named Shirttail Bob. We still soldier on and teach you how to survive a hostage…
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DDIY 43 (w/ @shutupmikeginn ) - Chesty Mountains
This week we double the amount of Mike's who are on Twitter and DDIY with our special guest, Mike @shutupmikeginn ! We talk about power rangers, tantric stripping, The Bobby Fisher of strippers, what constitutes a 'sentimental handjob', Pitbull, grandmas on ecstasy, cars full of bees, scaring…
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DDIY 42 - Tunnel Birds
Topics: An open letter to President Obama RE: Tunnel Birds, Tinder Abduction, Hillbillies and Chainsaws, Teen Bagger, Sweatpantaloons, Herman Being Part III, Spurt in the Fearlessness, Bill is a Ghost Wikihows: How to Get Teens to Stop Using Your Farm for Drinking or Racing, How to Look Great in...
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DDIY 41 - Taken...on a date
This week we talk about dates, movies, scorpions, scotch, beating up the Beatles and love words like 'synergy'. Topics: Matrix pills, Taken....on a date, Scorpurrito, Andhaven, Boxing Mathematician, Grandpa and desks, The Dave Clark Five, Styx and Stones, Love Words, Ham Hawk. Wikihows: How to…
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DDIY 40 - Mountain Stew
The Big 4-oh Topics: Books for Dates, Rewrite the Bible, Ctrl+F, Jim Jammery in your Flim Flammery, Sun Chicken, Doctor Peppered Beef, Kriss Angel: DUI, Dominos Guy Misses Me, DBIY Wikihows: How to Find Someone to Date at the Bookstore, How to Create Useful Formuals and Mixtures, and How to Beat…
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DDIY 39 - Grandpa Punch-Fueled Time Machine
This week we solve a lot of the world's problems. We create limitless energy out of 16 cats with life jackets on in a pool of milk and tuna water. We create positive female role models with our lady lawyer rapping group, Ladys Bone Thugs. We figure out time travel, what to do with the elderly and...
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DDIY 38 - #1 Dad In Space
It's the dog days of summer, and I fear the heat has gotten to our minds a little bit. Topics: Magic racism, stay at home dads in space, tantric baby sleepers, Starchild and the Parliament Funkadelic, sex education, "bag up your Gizmo", Earl Thomas III and how to survive in a pool full of KY…
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DDIY 37 - Isaac Assimov's I, Robutt
What if it was the future? What if there were flying cars, Terminators that looked like cougars, aliens hiding among us named Herman Being, and a robot in every house programmed to touch butts? Well this week we talk about all of that, except the flying cars. We'll show you how to let people know...
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DDIY 36 - InDDIYpendence Day
Happy fourth of July! This week we are doing a show on the good ole' US of A! We talk about the most offensive Taz tattoo, ask NASA to hold our beer and talk about how Jesus made the Grand Canyon. Also we finally move the Rocky movies into the Marvel universe with super heroine Annette Gunn, the...
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DDIY 35 - Prenuptial Eagle
Wikihows: How to smoke a cigarette in Paris. How to ask your parents about puberty. How to decide who gets the pet in a divorce. Discussed: Curly wig condoms, smoking baguettes, french in a southern accent, bilingual kissing sister-brothers, Elvira and condoms, puberty supplies, Prenuptial Eagle,...
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DDIY 34 (w/ Michael Alm) - Consult the Runes, Ghostfucker
This week we are joined by the amazingly talented artist Michael Alm (http://www.michaelalm.com/) , so of course we squander his knowledge and talk to him exclusively about ghosts and the paranormal. Instead of a Wikihow, Michael brings in runes which we use to solve some wikihows. The runes...
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DDIY 33 - Real Doll Police Party
Cops and parties don’t mix. So how do you stop the fuzz from breaking up your recreation of House Party? Easy, pretend it was ghosts. Or cats. Or that you are having a Real Doll party for one. Or just leave and never look back. We talk about this, how to cope with commercials (also, dear police…
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DDIY 32 - Geriatric Panopticon
Today we actually give our most actionable advice. For instance, the best way to insult someone you are going to fight? Read their facebook statuses out loud. Best way to have a horse? Don't, just work for Horse Minutes. Do you know how many HMPG (Horse Minutes Per Gallon) you get? We have a very...
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DDIY 31 - Smoochosaurus Rex
How to Kiss Your Crush Out of the Blue. How to Stop A Wedding. How To Wrap a Cat. All of these are addressed in this episode. Normally, we take notes while editing so we can have a funny little blurb. Clay's notes for editing on this episode are "im drunk this episode is good". If that's not…
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DDIY Prepisode 2 - Pedophile Dracula
This weeks episode we talked about crashing weddings and other fun stuff, but during the editing process the episode got corrupted and lost. We're sorry about that, and Clay is pretty upset. So instead, we are moving over an old episode into Libsyn so it can join it's brothers. It's our second…
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DDIY 30 - It's Hard to Put a Thong on a Tree
Episode 30 contains our least actionable advice for the average person. But maybe you're not the average person. Maybe you want to be a part-time banker, part-time lumberjack. Maybe all the kids at school keep stoning you, Old Testament style, and you need a defensive plan. Or maybe you want to…
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DDIY 29 - Shark on Skateboards
Sorry we were busy catching rays and didn't put out an episode last week. We made you this mixtape of wikihows. There's all the old classics. How to fight a shark in air, land, sea and fire. Most of the answers are "stab it". How to get a cat to like you (drugs). If you listen closely, you can…
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DDIY 28 (w/@Scott_Losse) - Bear School
This week we're joined by comedian Scott Losse (@Scott_Losse) to talk about bears, loneliness and strategically hiding bras around your apartment so your girlfriend will break up with you. We figure out how to end the war in the Middle East (hint: it involves bears on bears), how to deal with…
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DDIY 27 - Letting the cat (blood) out of the bag
This week we talk about cat murder, a lot. If you aren't a fan of that, we're so sorry. We also talk about how to catch a hamster, Julia Child, Easter, drugs, the Great Depression, salsa dinner, popcorn beds, how to get fat arms, and Clay makes a horrible hamburger confession. But mostly cat...
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DDIY 26 - Dumpster Party
Just what is "Trashcore?" How do I spice up kissing? How do I annoy the shit of my girlfriend? Have those questions really been bothering you? Well don't you worry, because we got you covered. By the end of this you'll have your clothes roulette list all typed up, you'll be itching for a second...
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Don't Do It Yourself have?
Don't Do It Yourself currently has 77 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Don't Do It Yourself about?
You look like you could use some help. We're an instruction/comedy podcast, where we take Wikihows and requests to create new how-to guides. It gets out of control pretty quickly.
How often does Don't Do It Yourself release new episodes?
Don't Do It Yourself has 77 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Don't Do It Yourself?
You can listen to Don't Do It Yourself on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Don't Do It Yourself?
Don't Do It Yourself is created and hosted by DDIYPodcast.
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