Dr G's ADHD Chat

Coaching is a system. Of helping people improve their performance that is particularly effective for ADHD. It is action-oriented and oriented to improving performance immediately. It is not involved in analyzing the past or past accidents or injuries that explain current emotions or behavior. It also is more egalitarian and the client has more say in the direction treatment takes. I’ll cover this and a bit more in this podcast.

After several sessions governing various aspects of employment throughout life for ADHDers. This is for parents of ADHDers and adult ADHDers trying to figure out where to focus their efforts in terms of getting employed, being relatively satisfied with the employment and being able to perform up to standards despite their ADHD.

Another in our series on the best jobs for people with ADHD. This time we’re discussing Jobs that help and ADHDer generate more dopamine because they are so detail-oriented and so structured. This means that mistakes are immediately noted and correction is required also immediately.

In this episode in our series on the best jobs for ADHDers, we’re covering jobs that demand attention and boost dopamine because they are naturally intense. These are jobs that don’t allow for slow reaction time or indecision. I’ll cover some of these jobs and why they’re good for ADHDers

Ideal jobs for ADHDers have many different characteristics. Today I’ll be discussing jobs that allow a lot of independent action. ADHDers don’t typically do well in overconrolled environments unless there is a lot of intensity. They tend to be mavericks that like to follow their own lead so they have problems when the job structure requires obedience.

We have been discussing the ideal jobs for ADHDers. We’ve established that high intensity jobs work well because the intensity stimulates dopamine production in the ADHD brain. Today I’ll be discussing jobs that work for ADHDers because they are so structured that any deviation is not possible. This causes tension that also stimulates dopamine.

`One of the big concerns ADHD parents have is whether or not their child will be able to find employments as adults. I just returned from a podcasting conference and about 70% of the participants had ADHD. Does this mean podcasting in particular and entrepreneurship is ideal for our ADHD children. The answer is perhaps. Entrepreneurship is ideal in that there is no boss to please but there is also nobody to keep him or her from making impulsive decisions that may put the business in trouble. I’ll discuss some of the other considerations about the appropriateness of entrepreneurship for ADHDers.

When my ADHDer was struggling with school amongst other things, I worried about how he would be ale to fit into society? What kind of work could he do? I did a lot of research on that one and then he picked a career himself dealing with crystals, gemstones and jewelry design. I’m going to cover some of the things to consider in terms of employment.

Evaluating ADHD is a complicated procedure that requires a lot of experience mainly because there is not a single instrument that can determine ADHD. This leaves the evaluator with having to rule out the other diagnoses that can be confused with ADHD like anxiety disorder, learning disability and bipolar disorder. There are some instruments called continuous performance test that are good measures of the attention part of the ADHD spectrum. Bottom line is your friendly eighborhood neuropsychologist needs to have some experience because there is not just one test that gives you your answer.

ADHDers have a lot of difficulties adjusting to a world that doesn’t understand them. It’s even worse if the ADHDer doesn’t understand him or herself. Self-esteem tends to plummet. It’s not incidental that one of the first books on ADHD was titled “You mean I’m not Lazy, Crazy or Stupid.” This ls the view that ADHDers tend to develop of themselves. Even if they are finally diagnosed, it’s difficult to change the habit of seeing themselves as defective. I’ll be discussing the need to defend oneself and not accept this negative stereotyping.

Being a parent is not easy. Being the parent of an ADHD child is even harder, yet most of the treatment advice we get is focused on the child. We, as parents, are kind of overlooked or treated as an afterthought. In this show, I’m going to focus on parent care. We need to be able to take care of ourselves or it won’t be good for the whole family. I have a lot of training in what we used to called Behavioral Medicine which is just a fancy term for applied stress management. Plus I have my many years as the father or two ADHD kids. I’ll be talking about some of the things that has worked for my patients and for me , too.

ADHDers tend to have difficulties with education as conducted in the United States. Therefore, it’s important for them to develop other interests. These can be sports , music, theater, art and many other activities loosely categorized as sports. These activities are loosely called hobbies but they are extremely important for an ADHD child because they allow them to perfect other abilities that may be important to their adult life. I’ll cover some of these activities and some ADHDers who have developied world class skills in their hobbies.

One of the most important skills to teach an ADHD child is resilience. One of the quickest ways to sabotage your efforts is to let them quit easily. This covers everything from guitar lessons to Little League. ADHDers can learn pretty much anything, if they put their minds to it, but few new things will come easily. They will require effort and frustration tolerance. Your child will never develop these skills if allowed to quit at the first sign of difficulties. Therefore you have to have a contract with your child that if he or she signs up for an activity, they have to complete the season or the lesson schedule. Next season or next course of instruction, they can decide if they want to do it again. In this episode, I’ll discuss resilience in more detail and emphasize how important it is to an ADHD child.

Coaching. Is not the same as psychotherapy. People can be coaches witthout without being psychotherapists. People can be psychotherapists without being coaches. Coaching comes out of the positive psychology movement and the basic goal is to help people become the best they can be.The goals are set by the client.Psychotherapy comes from the mental health and involves trying to reduce the distress caused by mental illness, like anxiety or depression. It is much more dependent on the therapist to establish the goals of the therapy. In this podcast, I’ll cover some of the differences in the two approaches based on my experience as a psychotherapist and as a coach.

ADHDers get more criticism than neurotypical children and frequently have lower self-esteem. To help them develop resilience and better self-esteem, it’s important to remember that they have a lot of strengths and positives. On this show I will briefly review the positives and strengths that ADHDers commonly demonstrate.

Parenting an ADHD child does not always end at adulthood especially in our current economic environment, not to mention (but I will) Covid and the disruptive effect that has had. Coupled with the fact that many, if not most ADHDers tend to the sort of creative activities that aren’t particularly robust. As a result, you may get a phone call or more likely the doorbell will ring and there will stand your young man or lady with all their worldly possessions in a duffel bag. You have now entered that parenting an ADHD adult phase of life. I will share some of my experiences both as a clinician and a parent and hopefully some helpful insights.

ADHD has been identified as having an 85% heritability index, which is incredibly High and indicates that if even only one parent has ADHD, it likely that the children will have ADHD. I have a wife who’s family has a number of family members diagnosed with ADHD and she probably has it ,too (I’m not supposed to evaluate or treat family members and as a smart old husband, I’m aware that its probably better for her to decide she’s got it than for mer to say it.) We have three children, two of them have ADHD. And honestly I’m not sure that my family doesn’t”t have ADHD. I think both my brother and my father probably do. SO, it’s not that ADHD runs through your family, the important think to keep reminding yourself is that it’s genetics, it’s not anybody’s fault. It’s also not because of poor parenting.

This is the third in our series of tips for parenting ADHD kids. This time it’s presenting in a do this, don’t do this format. I’m terming to be aware that frequently at least one parent is also ADHD, so I should do some tight lean format material.

This is a time of year for thinking about life, evaluating life, thinking about our decisions, our performance, our loved ones both living and, deceased. This sometimes leads to joy and sometimes leads to anxiety and/or depression. These are my reflections on the season, life and ADHD

This the third podcast in a series about handling holiday for ADHD parents. This episode contains a series of things you can do to make it through the holidays with way less stress. They are simple but proven by research ways of helping deal with holiday stress.

In this, the second episode in our holiday stress series, I’ll be discussing the the reason why the holidays are so stressful. I’ll be identifying the specific causes of the stress that cause so much turmoil and distress, not the least of which is the idea that “ I should be happy while I’m doing all this work on top of my regular duties.”

The holidays are supposed to the time of” peace on earth, good will to all men.” So why is it so stressful? Why do the rates of mental illness go up? Why do I feel so stressed out? I’ll cover the answers to these and other questions about holiday stress in the next three episodes presented over the next three days.

Had so much interesting stuff, I decided I needed two episodes to include it all. ADHD is an increasingly researched diagnosis, so we get more and more information to use to help our ADHDers. This episode talks more about handling the neurological aspects of the ADHD brain, that hyper alert,creative, rapid responding brain can be trained.

Parenting an ADHD child is not for the faint of heart. Between the emotion regulation problems and the executive difficulties there is a tremendous amount of work for a parent. The first step is to keep reminding yourself that this is a neurotically conditioned not a behavior problem. I’ll discuss some of the other nuances of this condition in this episode of the Chat.

The morning routine is typically a problem time in an ADHD household. The problems of having everybody in the household having to get up, get ready and eat breakfast and be on time is challenging at best. It will likely never be perfect but you can. Make it easier on yourselves as the parents by starting the night before.

Given the ADHD impulsivity and the difficulties with employment, careers and relationships over 40 to 50 years, it is not surprising that middle-aged alcoholics with ADHD are common. In this episode I will explain some of the difficulties this group of ADHDers have including disillusionment that they haven’t achieved more in life.

ADHD teens are more impulsive and adventure seeking than their peers. They are also more prone to experiment with different substances. The most common of these is alcohol. It is easy to acquire because it’s available everywhere including the home. Treatment for alcohol in teenagers is a bit specialized and even more specialized for ADHD teens with alcohol problems. I’ll cover some of the most effective treatments and some of the approaches parents should take.

ADHDers have a higher rate of alcoholism than neurotypicals. Why should this be true? I’ll cover some of the reasons and some speculations about why this is so. I’ll also discuss some of the treatments available.

Does having ADHD make one more prone to alcohol abuse? Is the rate of abuse higher for ADHDers than neurotypicals? I’ll cover these issues and more. I used to do drug and alcohol evaluations, so I have worked with substance abuse of all kinds. Alcohol of all the substances of abuse is the one that’s hardest to avoid. It is literally available everywhere and is embedded in many people’s culture and religion. I’ll cover these issues and more that make alcohol a major problem for ADHDers.

We have covered the significant differences between females and males in the last 4 episodes. In this episode I will summarize what the research has shown about females and ADHD.

Another difference in females with ADHD is that masking is more prevalent. Masking is just a different way of saying that the ADHDer is trying to act like she doesn’t have ADHD. This involves denying any symptoms of ADHD or minimizing those she can’t deny.

Female emotional dysregulation is different from male emotional dysregulation. Males typically have stronger reactions and are more likely to react with anger. Female emotional dysregulation is usually less extreme and less easy to observe and identify. This is likely at least partially the reason that females are much less likely to be diagnosed with ADHD than males. I’ll present on the different issues regarding female emotional dysregulation and its impact on diagnosis and treatment.

As If having ADHD wasn’t problem enough, Women have to go through further difficulties secondary to their menstrual cycles. The fluctuations in estrogen during the menstrual cycle cause further difficulties with the regulation of dopamine, the neurotransmitter associated with ADHD. I’ll discuss this issue further in this podcast.

Like many areas of medicine most of the research has been done on men. In fact for some time it was thought that women didn’t have ADHD. This was both because overall research on ADHD was in its preliminary stages and it was not known that there were multiple ADHD subtypes.When it was recognized that the more recognizable hyperactive type was not the only type and that there was a much quieter and harder to recognize ADHD, inattentive type. This is the type of ADHD most commonly seen in females. With improved evaluation procedures more and more females were being diagnosed with ADHD. It is likely that the actual incidence is essentially the same for both males and females. I’ll discuss what is known about females and ADHD in the next few episodes.

After spending 6 hours in an environment that was not designed for the way their brain works, your ADHDer comes crashing through your front door. What mood will your ADHDer present you with. How much homework do they have? Do they have everything they need to complete said homework. Did they have an okay day? Any behavior problems? This is a potentially dangerous time for you as a parent. Your major protection is to have established routines for what homework is done. Where it’s done. What about snacks? I’ll cover some of the major points in this episode.

School has started for all of us. It’s a time of stress for all of us ADHD parents when we have to put our children into a system that isn’t designed for them. As a result we have to do more preparation than the parents of neurotypical children. In this podcast, I’ll cover some of the things to do, hopefully mostly reminders of things to do to insure a smooth transition to the school year.

Many of us assume or were taught that getting goods and a lot of education are the most important factors in being successful. But, no there is actually something that is way more important to achieving success than intelligence or years of education and that is, resilience. Resilience is basically not giving up. More abstractly, it is about learning from your mistakes. It is also about not falling apart when you fail, but being able to learn when things don’t go the way you expected.

We have discussed parents who do not have ADHD, but do have and ADHD child, families with one parent who is neurotypical and one who has ADHD. Now we’re going to cover families with two parents who have ADHD. This, in my experience is relatively rare,but still has a lot of the same issues multiplied by having the whole family be ADHD.

The most common pattern I’ve seen in ADHD families is when one parent is ADHD and the other parent is neurotypical. This pattern is characterized by the neurotypical parent frequently feeling  like he/she is overworked and responsible for keeping the whole family on track. He/she is responsible for keeping track of all the appointment, usually also paying the bills, making arrangements for vacations and scheduling appointments. There is frequently a lot of resentment in these situations. One woman described it as feeling like she had an extra child. The ADHD parent frequently feels that he?she doesn’t get any respect. In this episode I’ll be discussing these relationships and some ways to regain comfort and satisfaction in the marital relationship.

As the parent of an ADHD child, your relationship is bound to be tricky. Sometimes you’ll be happy and enjoying your ADHDer’s sense of humor and antics and the next you’ll be upset and anxious because of a temper tantrum or frustrated by finding out that the two weeks of homework you worked over with your child never got turned in to the teacher. I’ll be presenting some of methods for recovering your calm and improving your relation ship with your ADHDer.

ADHDers are well known for having difficulties with emotional regulation. In spite of ADHD being a neurologic condition, there are still measures that can be taken to improve emotional control. In this sessions I’ll deal with some of these techniques.

It's probably the fault of our educational system that we all think that intelligence, as measured mainly by memory, is the most important skill for having a successful life. Success, especially for our ADHD kids has more to do with resilience, the ability to learn from mistakes and make improvements, than their grade point average or their standardized score on an intelligence test.

This is a continuation of an earlier episode detailing some specific procedures ADHD parents can follow to help their child succeed and have a happier home life.

To successfully parent your ADHD trial the most important player is you. That is, you have to be able to control yourself and change your behavior to get the behavior you want from your child. You are the only part of the Parent-child dyad that you control. You have to control yourself behavior to influence your child’s behavior.

Being the parent of an ADHD child is, at best, a stressful experience. Parenting is generally stressful, parenting an ADHD child is even more so. In an ADHD family most of the attention goes to the child and the parents needs are often ignored.I’m going to cover the basics of stress management for all you ADHD parents.

Family is always important when raising children. It is especially important when raising a child with ADHD. Family is where an ADHD child starts to develop self-acceptance and resilience. It is also where organization and structure are taught. ADHDers have trouble with executive functioning so it is important that they learn good executive habits in the home.

In this internet era, anyone with an opinion can broadcast it to the world. Those of us on the receiving end have to be able to determine if this opinion is true. In this recent political situation with its “tell the same lie until they believe it” mentality, it’s even more important that we are able to determine truth from opinion or outright lie. Fortunately, science has always been focused on determining truth. I’ll try to help you determine if a given statement or treatment recommendation is true or not.

The House and Human Services department under Robert F. Kennedy Jr. recently issued a report on ADHD that appears poised to radically change treatment options and thoroughly confuse the whole area of ADHD. This is an amazingly sophomoric report put together by people who had a certain point of view they wanted to support - or they were so inept at interpreting and understanding research that they ended up challenging virtually all the research findings about ADHD. This report is so wrong in so many ways. Scientists have spent many years researching ADHD and the scientific findings are vastly different than what is presented in the report. If we accept this report, it will deny much of the knowledge we have about ADHD - from causes -  to understanding what it is - to effective treatment. 

One of the big problems for the ADHD brain is boredom. Unfortunately, many, if not most tasks at certain levels of both education and employment are just plain boring. Neurotypicals just have an easier time with these tasks than ADHDers. There are some strategies that ADHDers have to learn, other than avoidance. I will cover some of the basics of coping with boredom-behaviorally and cognitively.

This is our second show about diagnoses that are frequently seen with ADHD. Some are associated with stress of having an ADHD brain in a society that is largely designed for neurotypical brains and some have more to do with genetics.