Enslaved By The Bell

Screech gets in over his head when some shady students want to pierce the veil of untold narcotic pleasure. Rob and Conall continue to drift into a lockdown-induced insanity.  NOTE: This was recorded earlier in the Summer! Stay tuned for more SBTB Reboot discussion! EPISODE: The College Years - S01E15 Buy us a coffee and contribute to server costs: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/EnslavedBTB

The dead speak! Somehow Peter Engel's most wicked creation has returned to haunt the modern world. Rob and Conall discuss the upcoming 'Saved by the Bell' reboot series that will be airing on NBC's new 'Peacock' service in the near post-apocalyptic future. Do we NEED a continuation of 'Saved by the Bell'? How would Rob and Conall approach this ungodly task? All these questions and more explored. 

For the first time in recorded history, Zack Morris is forced to consider the abstract concept of ethics. Screech gets a part in the latest Vin Diesel reboot. Conall and Rob continue to deal with the lockdown in an increasingly unethical world.    EPISODE: TCY - S01E13 - "A question of ethics"

The call has gone out for artistic expression during this unparalleled time of planetary chaos - who better to rise to the occasion than two idiots talking Saved by the Bell? Rob and Conall join forces remotely to ponder the actions of our Bayside heroes - how would they react, survive and thrive during the COVID 19 crisis? Would Zack profit on other peoples' misery? Would Slater be able to keep wrestling? Would NBC Executive Brandon Tartikoff SURVIVE? All these questions and more asked in this special standalone quarantine episode. 

Professor Jeremiah 'Jerry' Lasky battles with his guilty conscience as his questionable relationship with Kelly continues to cause problems for his professional integrity. Zack schemes to win her heart using een more costumes, racial appropriation and accents you wouldn't get away with nowadays. Rob and Conall reflect on their own advancing ages and come to a surprising conclusion.  EPISODE: College Years S01E12 "Kelly and the Professor"

Professor Lasky is on the hunt - for the ultimate game. Conall has a problem with it. Rob doesn't really.    EPISODE - SBTB The College Years S01E11 "Teacher's Pet"

Rob and Conall prevail once again, negotiating their way through the hellish landscape of the future to once again deliver to the world tale of a Christmas Classic (or at least, a spinoff of a Christmas Classic). Where once 'Home Alone' was ripped off with a dog, this time it's "The Karate Kid". Once again there is a tenuous Saved by the Bell connection. Once again, Dean Cain is of course present.   NON-SBTB CHRISTMAS (well not really) MOVIE: 'The Dog Who Saved Summer' (starring Mario Lopez as Zeus the Dog!)

Conall and Rob return just in the nick of time - the world has plunged into darkness and they have managed to scrape a podcast together from the doldrums of their subterranean bunker where they await the day where they will certainly be found by Emperor Trump's Decepticon drones. Meanwhile the gang are celebrating Thanksgiving because there isn't a Christmas episode of College Years. Enjoy! Discussing: College Years S01E10: A Thanksgiving Story

In our one hundredth episode we are rejoined by Paddie Thompson of Eighth Dimension Podcast as we delve in to the horrors of Dustin Diamond's controversial autobiography.

The Calamitous Duo return for their long-awaited (very rushed) 99th episode, wherein they discuss the trials and tribulations of ill-fated job, exploitative chicken wing establishments and Rob makes a characteristically recalls a demeaning job of his own.    EPISODE: College Years S01E09 "Dr Kelly"

The tables are turned as a beautiful tennis champion chooses Screech over Zack. Dustin Diamond gets his moment in the sun, but forgets about it in his autobiography many years later. Rob is stunned as Conall points out that the plot of this episode is completely recycled from season one of the original show. 

Zack adds identity theft to the ever-growing list of his most heinous crimes. Alex and Kelly learn to objectify men just as they too have been objectified. Screech's feelings get hurt for the 87,000th time.    EPISODE: College Years S01E07 'Professor Zack'

The game is poker. The stakes? High. The players? Skilled (and Screech). The risk? Everything. The reward? All the riches of California University. The only question remains...will Zack yield in time? Episode: S01E06 "The Poker Game"

After a lengthy sojourn, Rob and Conall return to shine a light on the increasingly forgettable adventures of California University's bland student body. Zack learns the importance of networking as well as the value of true friendship. Slater studies method acting as he helps Alex find her inner falcon. Screech objectifies himself to please Leslie, who in turn is trying to please her snob parents. Somewhere, somehow, Mister Belding is doing something more interesting. 

The lads return after yet another sojourn to cover the modern Dean Cain classic 'Broadcasting Christmas' in their quest to watch and review one Dean Cain Christmas movie every year for the rest of their lives. Conall preferred the Dog, Rob actually thinks it's kind of good for weird reasons. The two debate the true meaning of what it means to be a Christmas movie and merriment ensues. Merry Happy everybody!

Slater joins the revolution, Zack wants to go skiiing and the campus is ruled by a grizzled one eyed Klingon. Episode: "Slater's War" 

Sororities and fraternities harvest a fresh crop of innocent youths. A certain time travelling super-villain is at the centre of it all! Episode: "Rush Week"

Rob and Conall continue to be stunned by the alarming regularity of discussions of a sexual nature. The girls fall in love with a dreamy new professor. Zack uses an assignment as a way of hitting on girls and ends up having an existential crisis. 

Rob and Conall record 60 minutes of silence and hastily try and retrace their steps in this callously thrown-together episode. Kelly returns and is an actual character now, Zack makes pop tarts while trying to have sex with people (because we live in a world where characters have sex now). Conall struggles with the basic lyrics of the theme tune, much to Rob's irritation. 

The Slavers have landed in the world of tomorrow where the rules of the past no longer apply. Is this the same timeline? Have Zack's God powers been sapped by the harshness of campus life? Will Peter Engel ever find the missing tapes that explain what happened to Zack's scholarship to Yale? Some of these questions and many more answered!

Rob and Conall overcome the dragon of technical difficulties and bring their perilous journey roaring back to life as they cover the hallowed 'Graduation' episode. Where's Tory? What timeline are we in? What is Neal's real name?! The promise of the College Years is tantalisingly close as the lads visit the halls of Bayside with the original cast for the very last time. 

DOUBLE DROP In the run up to grand finale of the original Saved By The Bell, this week we release no fewer than TWO episodes of this podcast. In this quickie we take a look back through our time in Bayside and forward to the frosted-tipped dystopia of 2003! Episode: "The Time Capsule"

DOUBLE DROP To celebrate our amazing audio troubles we have decided to release a grand total of two episodes this week! Sitting in for Conall is the fantastic Saoirse Smith! This week the gang once again let music turn them against one another like ravenous wolves- it never takes much in Bayside! Episode: "School Song"

Conall is the worse for wear and a lizard dies.    

Another day, another mediocre clip show bafflingly inserted far later in the season than it has any right to. Rob and Conall use the opportunity to ponder memories of experiences past. Conall marvels at the quick wit of James Bond. PLUS: A look back at the halcyon days of Malibu Sands. 

This week the show delivers pregnancy and the laboured threat of tectonic death.  Episode: "Earthquake"

Hippity Hop meets fairytales, and Big Dick The Bopper Belding giving unsolicited kisses. A grim but colourful week in Bayside High!   Episode: "Snow White And The Seven Dorks"

Conall and Rob continue drifting through a world where time has no meaning, friendship has no memory and justice has no champion - until now. Screech is given the hallowed task of becoming Bayside's new hall monitor, thanks to Zack's latest scam - which is all caused because they forget Screech's birthday. Conall and Rob forget to mention the coolest part of the episode - the RoboScreech fantasy sequence. Kevin the Robot returns. BONUS: Rob plugs his new 'Saved by the Bell' fanfic. 

Peter Engel's clumsy assistant drops a tape once again (this time on purpose?) and Conall and Rob are unwittingly, unknowingly transported to the halcyon days of the Zelly and Slessie relationships, when the world was new and love was real. Unlike the watered down pest of the Tori Timeline, Zack is once again the machiavellian mastermind we loved to hate in the days of manipulated Beau Rivere tapes. All is right with the world, which just goes to show how warped a world Bayside really is. 

The gang have a barn dance and it's meaningful and stuff probably.  Episode: "The Senior Prom"

The lads return after a lengthy sojourn, in the desperate hopes of rekindling their dwindling fanbase. Zack gets the hots for Slater's best girl. Mr Belding brings the alpha males of Bayside on a spiritual journey. Neal O'Neill makes a startling and beautiful existential discovery. Rob rants about Power Rangers for eight minutes. 

To celebrate the second birthday of our podcast, we've left Saved By The Bell aside this week to focus on the magnificent low budget crapness that is Ireland's first attempt at making a white guy martial arts movie. Featuring '90s pop sensation Mikey Graham of Boyzone! Movie: FATAL DEVIATION

The teachers strike, Mr Tuttle slags his own girth and much is made of the continued degradation of Screech's self-worth. Zack and Slater's manipulative scheme goes off without a hitch and the reap the selfish benefits. Conall and Rob despair for the world. 

Zack engages in a war of the sexes after Zack and Slater are revealed as sexist monsters, much to the shock of the female student body of Bayside. Mr Belding mediates in the only way he knows how - by acting as umpire in an expensive-looking, needlessly elaborate contest. Screech continues to embarrass himself and falls further and further into the labyrinth of his own designed lunacy. Rob controversially debates Leanna Creel's ability to successfully portray a heterosexual teenager. Conall finds his notes at long last.  

Valentine's Day this week for the Bell-Saved and Bell-Enslaved alike. The shallow facade of the Hallmark holiday is matched by the shallow face of network television; time for a clip show! Episode: "Isn't it Romantic"

Zack tried to swindle, but gets out-swindled. Screech is forced to choose between insects and a non-existent relationship with Tori.

A lost lover from Slater's past turns up as Jessie throws some shade as well as some headlocks. Times are looking tough for all but Zack who plans to re-programme the Slaterbot to his own ends. Rob dismisses sobriety not one week after announcing to the nation that he has gone dry. Conall celebrates by being tipsy.  Episode: "Love Machine"

Rob is embracing sobriety for the month of Janus, meanwhile the gang decide to drive under the influence of alcohol.  Episode: "Drinking and Driving"

Pappa Slater returns to pressure his son into going to military college. And some other stuff! Johhny Rico invades Canada and Zack becomes a rapping drug dealer? Maybe! Listen and find out!  Episode: "Wrestling With The Future"

The boys walk a narrow line between the light and dark sides of the holiday season as they explore the murky world of straight to DVD movies. Mario Lopez and Dean Cain star in the Holiday classic The Dog Who Saved Christmas! 

Zack must escape Belding's clutches to win a trip to Hawaii- haven't been there before, have we? Episode: "Day Of Detention"

Rob and Conall eschew their reviewing duties for some lighthearted gentlemanly discourse and a glimpse into their souls. 

Conall is joined this week by the mysterious and enigmatic Joe Ó Cinnéide as secret admirers and art classes abound in Bayside. 

Once again a school activity demands the gang do some stuff! Once again they decide to organise a phone line for teens and their problems! Once again Zack courts a woman affected by an ISSUE. Once again a teenage girl is worried that she is too tall. A true episode of new beginnings! Episode: "Teen Line"

Conall and Rob travel to Hawaii to cover the Saved by the Bell TV movie extravaganza 'Saved by the Bell: Hawaiian Style'. They encounter a nonplussed native who gives his in-depth thoughts after many years of reflection and contemplation. Zack and the gang go to Hawaii on vacation and once again Zack saves the day for everyone. Screech is literally a White Messiah. Belding pretends to be a more esteemed academic than he actually is. Kelly becomes embroiled in an inappropriate relationship with an older man. 

Screech's sick infatuation with Lisa reaches breaking point. Zack once again has the greatest idea ever and everyone loves him (one character in particular). The status quo is forever changed and will definitely have ramifications in future episodes (not). Rob suspects fourth-dimensional trickery at play. Conall suspects Rob is more talented than he. 

The gang gets a new member! Rob suffers from a vicious hangover! This and much more on this week's Enslaved By The Bell! Episode: "The New Girl"

Rob relays his excitement to see a rubbish rock n'roll band. The guys marvel over Screech's culinary ability and how sitcom juggernaut 'Friends' could ever dream to steal a joke from Saved by the Bell. 

He's not a hero. He's a silent extra. A watchful nerd. The O'Neill Knight. And this time, he's got something to say for himself. Rob and Conall obsess over the triumphant return of Neil O'Neill and what this means for the future of 'Saved by the Bell'. Rob even reveals a piece of extra-curricular research he has conducted in Neil's name. Will Mullet Mike return to the hallowed halls of Bayside to save the school's soul before Zack's mundane tenure as principal dooms everyone to mediocrity forevermore?

We recorded this episode late one evening, so Rob rocks a sexy late night radio voice. The gang get used to being seniors and Zack and Slater have a fight or something. We were pretty tired. Episode: "The Fight"