Eskimo Brothers

Normally it’s a non issue, but capitalism is so lame rn… they’re already making a live action Moana.America is about industry, cranking out hits, making money, fucking bitches; not baking cookies on the job for TikTok. RIP Daveigh Chase. If we’d have known you got down like that we would have had you on the podcast. Ace stops by to hang dong and show off his jewelry.Shout out Benny The Cannabus.

Madelyn Cline and Amanda Seyfried and Ana De Armas and Kate Beckinsale and Emma Stone and Kat Dennings and Zooey Deschanel and Kyra Sedgwick and Michelle Pfeifer and Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson and Joseph Gordon Levitt and Kate Mara and Rooney Mara and Shakira and…

The Juneteenth X Pride collab you’ve all been waiting for.. Jon is back. RIP Trevor Moore.Big Mike swung the hog and Josh Hokit no longer fights for the UFC. For some reason, it always gets to us tanning our behind-hole. Idk. We got to telling stories such as the time Magic Boy and BB’s sister punched Magic Boy in the testicles on an active news segment. Frosted Tips and Allen Iverson jerseys. Talk about wigged out.

“Just like a young girl should.” Yikes Mick Jagger, yikes. Selena Gomez’ nose keeps growing because she’s living a lie; BENNY BLANCO IS NOT HOT. Publix is rich guy bullshit. They don’t even have women with T-Rex arms greeting you at the door. One time, our sister was in the hospital and she walked by a sweet little girl wearing a safety helmet. She walked right up to that sweet water head and got down in a three-point stance, growling. She was the best. So do like, 20 year old Jews exist?

We get to talking the different types of male lengthening surgeries.If you’re a tweaker, or a crackhead, in the middle Tennessee area, Magic Boy’s place of employment will hire you. In the spirit of pride month, we have our first guest, Elijah. A.k.a. Elijah_gravy on IG. You know young heartbreak? Where you’re cheating, so y’all take a break; then she’s cheating, but not technically, since you’re on a break. So, then y’all get back together and…honestly idk. Cranking off at work is some degenerate behavior. We’re looking at you, Jimi Hendrix. Tony Hinchcliffe put a comedy special out and it’s god awful. The rogansphere is crumbling. Shout out our military men. Our boys in uniform. Our little fruits in boots. Especially the Army. Hey boyyyyyyyyz. RIP Oliver Tree #army #himplant #penuma #podcast #eskimobros #patreon #comedy #jimihendrix #pride #heartbreak #cheaters #military #callofduty #bajablast #mountaindew #seniortrip #playerslair #tile #flooring #funny #oldfriends #olivertree #tonyhinchcliffe #killtony

Shout out Kenny Hoggers. “You gotta to know when to hold ‘em…” Ben Affleck as Batman was a fucking joke. Magic Boy KNOWS where squirt comes from. These nerds are getting out of pocket. Wtf is up with age regressors? S/o the pushers and the pullers of the world; keep doing your thing. Sam Levinson is weird af.What would you do if you got arrested and your diaper was full?

Hard-Arrgghhhh, y’all mateys hiring? Guess what? It’s still pride month. We love our gay ass friends and we want that to be crystal queer. In a perfect world, we would have special assistants like the women who bathe you in Red Dead. Gina Davis is not hot; Get real. Shout out that Chinese influencer dog who was stolen, sold for 27 dollars and then eaten in a kung-fu fashion. We’re not being insensitive; this really happened. The Germans are congregating in Argentina again. Sounds fischbrötchen to us.

Magic Boy got his tampon string caught in his lady parts. Spaceman bees in the trap at the Music City Fit’ness D*** expo. Shout out Eddie Hall. Shout out Brian Shaw: grip expert. Said his grip is so strong he can pick up 90 pound hockey pucks with his posterior. Who remembers Pepsi Nitro? A couple of beer connoisseurs, “somaligays” if you will, get to talking hops and nitrogen. Sounds like estrogen if you ask us.

We get to talking Eastern Medicine; Herbs, Tinctures, Testicles. Miles Davis is forever. Spaceman saved Magic Boy’s culo today. If you see him out and about, give him flowers. S/o Aussies, specifically Siggy Retts. Hanta God, Bill gates needs to quit releasing diseases on us. Ticks, rats, bats, oh my.

WE’RE COMING AT YOU HARD ALL MONTH LONG BABY. IT’S AN EXTRA WET PODCAST.Sometimes, Spaceman wishes he was just a little ant. “We all do it the saaaaaaame”Big brothers are the worst.Cynthia Erivo is Jesus.Steven Seagal is god. ME WAN DA POONANI.

Walmart is Chinese and Kroger is Japanese, both oriental in nature. If you’ve been following along the last 2 weeks, BB’s car still isn’t fixed. “That’s Charley with an E like Pride, Crockett with two T’s like Davy.”Big shout out to Widow’s Bay. July 1st, the THCA reckoning will commence. We say good riddance to that fufu lame shid.

We want to get to the bottom of mimes and mime culture… seems like a lot of trauma wrapped up in that. It’s actually alarming how mentally impaired most people are getting… not that we’re geniuses. Casa Bonita, CASA BONITA. Spaceman has spoken and he’s grown tired of Hitler. Stop and save the turtles.

BB is dealing with tire troublesWhat did everyone get for Memorial Day? Did the ghosts of veterans bring happy tidings?Rebellious.Essence.. look her up lmaoProject Hail Mary; tell us how it ends? We only watch movies halfway throughWe’re on Apple and Spotify. With that said, we are promptly taking our podcast off of Spotify in protest of…something? Idk.

We had James Hetfield stop by the studio at the very top. Didn’t realize he was gay. James Franco is back and we are aroused and confused. Thomas Hayden Church is everywhere… Tires, George of the Jungle. Everywhere. Sorry for the delay; We gave Producer Gaymie the holiday weekend and he scooted on up to the Poconos. Happy Memorial Day, babies.

S/o Posh Spice that little working-class asshole.We have some gripes with the Amish stores of the world.. Why are there lights and point of sale systems? Why aren’t there women delivering more workers in the back? Where are the dirt floors? James Brown was and probably still is the greatest performer. LiViN iN aMeRiCa. “It’s actually incredibly masculine to have sex with men.” Direct quote from Andrew Tate.

We’re talking Bill Cosby, we’re talking Harvey Weinstein, we’re talking Clavicular. Everyone who isn’t mixed in the near future is fucked. It is what it is. Accept it. Elton John, A knight fighting for those with aids. Pass it on. These mfs are really talking about pardoning Ghislaine. Clarksville, come get your honkey.

We had Terrence sit in today; He’s a diesel mechanic, rock climber, slack liner, welder, fabricator of reality, haver of hot sisters, good lover, giant hogged etc. Shout out Tom the Uber driver Word on the transcendental yoga/nihilism/alien/chakra scene is that if you’re going to a Tool show you’re supposed to do acid and cocaine… that’s very enlightened.

SSRIs are helping men in the bedroom of all places.We came to the unfortunate conclusion that pirates were the theater kids of their time.If you were a green beret, how would you kill your wife?We’ve officially jumped the golden calf; Mar-A-Lago is the capital of Soddom and Gomorrah.

“I’m rubber, you’re tree; you cut me down, I’ll bounce off of you and eat your ass.”ESPN stats to get behind: In one season, Tyreik Hill had more children than receiving touchdowns. On a scale of, “How many children do I have” from Eric Clapton to Nick Cannon, where does NBA Youngboy fall? “If my sons can be daughters then my dog can run my business.” - Some white girl bigot probably. You know they lovveeeee their dogs.

We get to talking biblical-level disease today: The plague, leprosy, adultery, being Jewish etc. Colostomy bags… are we feeling them? Are we vibing? Neil Degrasse Tyson vs. Stephen Hawking: A battle of the brain. Heavy foot coverage today from two of the sexiest boys on the pod. Tune in freaks.

The Eskimo Bros get a little nihilistic. Magic Boy was absent being gay somewhere. Politics: the ultimate cash grab. The ultimate ass-blast. BB and Spaceman just wanna give it all up and become a couple of homosteaders. Tune in to see if they’ve got what it takes to plow, to squeeze, to cross pollinate.

Seems Spaceman didn’t get recorded. On a real note I do apologize for all of the recent fuck ups. On a fake note, you’re gay. Shout out to Clavicular. Sounds like he’s gonna be doing some Butthole-maxxing. We go over the lyrics to “Thrift Shop” and they are probably not what you remember.

We had Randy from Trailer Park Boys grace us at the studio today. Spaceman educates us youngin’s on the prices of dip over the years. Fucking Biden. We here at Eskimo Bros believe Elvis started soul food and you can’t tell us any different.

Spaceman got a new hobby and it may or may not involve blowing. Wtf is up with daggering? That shit hurts, right? Like how does your bag not bust?The UK just came out and said they’re going homophobic nationwide: Bob’s your uncle. It’s a wee fag ban, innit?

Looks like Ol Mike Vrabel has that dawg in him after all. We finally got BB back on track and it’s glorious. Kris Jenner is the world’s most successful pimp, right? Xanax is the closest we have in our modern day to time travel.

No BB again. If anyone has a blade, we will fall on it.Big S/O to Stallion, the pizza box, and the cache of sensitive material under the water bed. Joe Rogan is going hard for Ibogaine because he believes it’s a medicine to make you taller. He was quoted saying, “Shit, I bo gain a couple inches on god.”

Happy damn holidaze from the EskiDro Bros. In true dumb stoner fashion, BB’s mic channel didn’t get recorded. Sooooo.. Magic Boy was solicited by a bald ass prostitute. Spaceman breaks down the Frozen hierarchy. Could you sue for only eating Subway and getting fat? This question, and more, will be answered tonight at 5. Or, whenever you decide to listen.

There’s a bee swarm in Israel… they must have heard about all the honey pots 🥴🥴We find out about some of Magic Boy’s “upper limits” and Jack tells us what he thinks an Icky Thump is all about.

Happy birthday Sam. We love you here at the pod even though you get caught speeding with no retard for human life. RIP Judith Darci. S/O r/crappymusic.

Sabrina Carpenter doesn’t like yodeling; what a bitch. She likes Scientology, though. Mickey Rourke used to be a piece of ass. From movie star to trying to turn out Jojo Siwa. Yikes. Y’all remember them gray kids from The Proud Family?

We come in hot with some over the top door humor. Touch me, baby. They say there’s satanists in Sumner County. If there ever was a time for lynching… we at Eskimo Bros would say “you’re wrong” because there’s never a time for lynching. Stick around for our lovely Foghat rendition.

Racist uncles and destroyed chevelles. Spaceman had some things to take care of, but he made it in about halfway. All the men were hanged, and the children all got pink eye. Amen.

We’re grown ups. We just happen to talk about penis, scientifically. Neil Young and cocaine are the reasons for the earliest use of cgi in film. We didn’t realize Freddie Mercury was gay; we just thought he was flamboyant like Elton John or Lil Nas X.

Man rip Gucci Mane. We don’t want the smoke Mr. Pooh. Someone explain the Charlie Kirk bullet for us. RIP Tommy Shelby.

Giuliani ran this city into the ground. We don’t know if you know this but Gatorade is supposed to be diluted. Isn’t that crazy?

The Willett boyz hit broadway for Robert Plant. Magic Boy DID NOT cry at all. What do you do when you find your parents sex toys as a child? We know what to do as an adult…

This war is only gonna hurt the consumers…but they’re the least of our concerns right now. Shout out L.I.S.A. Steve Jobs was a good father and we don’t care what you say. The Holy Spirit took hold about halfway through. Send tithes to TPUSA.

Robert Kardashian went out the Michael Douglas route. There’s a price to be an Olympian… Just ask Caitlyn Jenner. Shout out the Kardashian Coven.

There’s a nonzero chance Afroman will fuck your wife. Shout out Rick Perry and his quirky little ranch in Texas. Wtf was up with “Latinx?”

Spaceman lets us know up top that he’s got hella control of allllll his muscles. What if God was one of us? THEY MUST HAVE AMNESIA; THEY FORGOT I’M HIM.Hell, we’ve never been to Spain.

S/o Colter Wall. Spaceman wants a Blunderbust. Stevie Ray Vaughan is overrated…especially once you find out Vin Diesel makes reggaeton.

Is Liam Neeson a drunk, or does he just hate people? Shout out Karen Horney, psychologist extraordinaire. Magic Boy luvs Molly Meatball, ya sausage.

What is a beard? Nashville CoL is higher than Magic Boy. Spaceman expresses some views that have just been eating him up.

Sup folks? We added a new element to the podcast. Science is a liar sometimes. NBA Youngboy is sweet.

Human nature IS gay. Rip Isaac Kappy. Ashton Kutcher isn’t hot. We’ll fight you over it.

R.I.P. Acme. Say baby do you wanna lay down with me? SAY BABY.

Ol Magic Boy says he hasn’t cranked in a coon’s age; Jon explains to us what “Of Mice and Men” was about and we didn’t realize it had so much in common with “Old Yeller.” Also, these only fans girls doing Down syndrome filters are the sign of the apocalypse.

Shout out our Blacktress, Paris Jackson. Have you ever found yourself at a Beastie Boys’ cover show on a Saturday? Good brothers will hold your sack when you need it.

Alas, the king has kept all of the pussy for himself. Gentrification is some honky-ass bullshit. Wtf is Kundalini?