PODCAST · comedy
Everyone's A Critic
by Jess & Jonathan
The internet's first curated volume of other people's opinions! Each week, Jess and Jonathan take a deep, dark dive into the web's most popular review platforms, sharing with you the funniest snippets of humanity they can find. Yelpers who can't find the bathroom. AllRecipes chefs who completely change the recipe, then review it anyway. Amazon shoppers and their thoughts on meat by-products. With new themes to explore each episode, Jess and Jonathan hope to give voice to all the desperate internet reviewers shouting endlessly into the void.It's a comedy podcast!
Episodes
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ep 260 An Announcement
Thank you so much for every listen throughout the years. Change isn't easy. We love all of you and have loved every moment of making this silly, wonderful, obnoxious show. Every time you read a funny review in the wild, hear an out of context kazoo, or find yourself laughing at the inevitable…
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Ep 259: Thank You for Yawning
In today's episode, a cohost yawns at her cohost, a boy kicks a cow too hard, and Barbie goes mutton busting. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up:...
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Ep 258: Their 12th Favorite Film
Ecclesiastical! If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9 Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/...
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Ep 257: The Cheez Whiz Was Expired
We didn't realize until after we stopped recording that the Cheez Whiz eaten in today's program was two weeks past its sell-by date. I bought it at a Kroger, and like, yeah sell-by dates are kind of dumb sometimes, but like, what? How? If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our...
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Ep 256: We Have King’s Hawaiian Money
I know the title is supposed to be "Skating for Christ." But that isn't my new favorite phrase ever, so, what can you do. Today's show also features a grim look at airport Starbucks by someone who's connecting flight is definitely impossible. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our...
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Ep 255: Carol Time.
In today's show we piss, cuss, steal, and win (everybody's doing it). If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4...
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Ep 254: Milk Theft! Milk Theft!
Today's episode is sponsored by the Steak & Milk diet! Eat like Daniel Plainview, die like Daniel Plainview. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one awesome pile-up:...
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Ep 253: Small Quantities of Asbestos
If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9 Buy our shirts...
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Ep 252: A Revolving Door for Women
This one is about the horrors of 8th grade, 7th grade, and Fort Lauderdale. Thank my lucky stars I've only experienced two of them. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up:...
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Ep 251: A Bed/Cracker Situation
On an all new EAC, alliances will be broken, showmances will be shattered, and one contestant's life will change forever. We also talk about the Applebee's in San Francisco. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy…
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Ep 250: St. Peter Says, Yikes
That face when the highlight reel of your life is cringy AF, am I right? No? Just me? If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4...
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Ep 249: Corona Times Fun Grabber
OOOOOOH MAN. AAAAAAAH yiss. Giant sticky hands. Also in today's show, we look at tips for making chalupas, listener Chris kills it, and we give away 50 free trials of MAX. Just MAX. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy...
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Ep 248: Dr. Dre’s Hoptimonium
Did you know hot tub boats are a thing? Yep, that's all I've got. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4...
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Ep 247: It’s Not Fun to Read
We've got a fantastic listener special for ya' today, with reviews from the Ikea cafeteria and the billigerent, anti-suffrage book nook. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up:...
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Ep 246: Most Controversial Squeezer
Today's episode is *littered* with inaccuracies. To be clear, the Juicy Salif is not poison when you juice on it. The instructions say it tastes bad when you juice on it. Aluminum being bad for you is somewhat debunked. But at least when we lie, it's about juicers. If you like the show, PLEASE…
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Ep 245: Y-U-C-C-H-Y
Alternate titles for today's show: "Totally Fucked" Tin Can Puller Appropriately Domestic Mold on the Cobwebs Chickums Upturned Meatshield Surrounded by Grease If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up:...
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Ep 244: Dark Yelp Live!
Also in today's episode, we explore a business that sells "urban camping" as a good thing. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up:...
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Ep 243: Foo Foo Woman Food
I don't know what to say anymore. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4...
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Ep 242: What’s Rapini?
In today's show, we study the mythos of a truly obnoxious megastructure. We also look at reviews for a big cross. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up:...
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Ep 241: Women Like Boneless Wings
Alternate titles for today's episode include: Tina Trashass Meow Meow Eating and Play I. Have. A. Allergy. Riddled in Allergy Sauce Cheetah Girls Crashed My Phone Negation of All Human Kindness It's Women's History Month (FFS) If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for...
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Ep 240: Same as the Old Meat
Alternate titles for today's episode: Don't, Don't, Don't Ever Say That Again Spring's Bone A Cocktail I Can Cozy Up To The Orgasm Arena This is America The TJ Maxx Way If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome)...
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Ep 239: Slightly Tilting
In today's show, we take a wholly unrequested trip to Elizabethton, TN, and we warsh all that sadness down with a tall glass of... plastic tubs and file organizers. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome)…
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Ep 238: I Will Not Be Polite
Alternate titles for today's episode include: As a Body Wash Mostly Sour Grapes I'm Only Half-Italian ****WARNING*** This Is Crazy If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up:...
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Ep 237: A Yelper Darkly
In today's show, we have T-Joes, kale rants, AND Jimmy Dean's sausage on a stick. It's some real season 1 goodness. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up:...
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Ep 236: New Hampshire’s Greatest Threat
Today's episode is about me. I am New Hamspshire's greatest threat. I AM THE END. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4...
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Ep 235: Gumby Jesus and Prickle John
In today's extra long pizza, we go on two fabulous road trips through the weirdest corners of America. Please see today's special image for all the hype you need. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up:...
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Ep 234: From Eating to Greeting
On this frosty western morn we feast upon Feedback: The Breakfast of Champions. Lesbians not included. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up:...
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Ep 233: David O’Doherty
In today's episode, we take a spin in the dreaded Book Nook and head east southeast through much of Middle Earth (the bits that matter, anyway). And yeah, apparently we've heard O'Doherty pronounced incorrectly on British TV too many times. Soz! If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's...
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Ep 232: The Cincinnati Soda Wangers
Sudan Archives' last album ends with a gorgeous track about her roots in Cincinnati. Meanwhile, Cleveland has the shitty theme song from The Drew Carrey Show. You do the math. We also talk about Quaker Steak and Lube, as well as Al Dente the singing-not-singing pasta timer. If you like the show,...
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Ep 231: Three Taps for Crosswords
One tap for sex. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite cuts: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9 Buy our shirts and cups:...
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Ep 230: The Most Populous Cesspit
I have no idea how to describe today's disasterthon, but it does have very big dinos. Every other part of it will, frankly, haunt me. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/…
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Ep 229: The OG OG Spot
In today's show, Jess comes for the hetero, and I attempt the impossible reviews topic. Or as Cormac McCarthy would say in his seminal coming-of-something novel Suttree: "Somebody has been fuckin my watermelons." If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.…
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Ep 228: A Casino of Sin
Fears: conquered. Sin: vanquished. Olive Garden: every single weeknight. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us: [email protected] Tweet at us…
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EP 227: Keep Lead in Your Brain
In today's show, we bare our souls for Christmas. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us: [email protected] Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to...
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Ep 226: Will I Be Okay?
Today's show is brought to you by apologies. Apologies! Let someone else do the hard part. It also features reviews for Oprah's favorite things and prank kits.
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Ep 225: Ol’ Weaselchops
In today's show, I introduce everyone to my best friend Canthony, we drink lots of CBD, and Jess eats a tum. We also read reviews for Folgers K-cups and robot dogs. It's honestly a pretty good one? We've got apologies in the next episode. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our...
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Ep 224: Curse of the Slow-Moving Slut
Today's hyphenated title brought to you by autocorrect. Autocorrect! It'll really do ya dirty. Also, Jess revisits fan-favorite segment I Went to Grad School, and it nearly kills me. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups:...
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Ep 223: That (Tantric) Sickness Energy
In today's preview of the next Lorde LP, one host comes down with a cold so bad that, while editing the episode, that host felt vicariously ill all over again. We also look at the IMDB Parent's Guide for Planet Earth. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the...
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Ep 222: Peas and Heme
So quick fact check: Impossible uses heme, and Beyond uses peas. Thus, peas and heme have never truly met in America's many meat departments. But they have met in our hearts. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups:...
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Ep 221: I Thought You Said Corn
In today's episode, we kick off Beach Week with a bodacious bang, Jess visits the island of misfit attractions, and we learn that it's NOT jaywalking if you steal first. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups:...
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Ep 220: 10 Years of Plant-Based Experience
In today's frantic Halloween episode, we learn the shocking truth behind shellac, and we celebrate Muse's extensive catalogue of Ford Truck Month music. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups:...
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Ep 219: The Cinnamon Gum is Lurking
Yo! (Shut the fuck up!) YO! (Shut the fuck *up*!) This one is about our two favorite beefy bastards: kangaroos and Paul Hollywood. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell…
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Ep 218: Speaking in Profamity
In this episode, Jess and I finally bring (basically) the same topic. It happened gang. A solid hour (and some change) of family restaurant reviews. The only worse thing I can imagine is owning a Tesla. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our...
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Ep 217: My Dermis Hates This Episode
In today's episode, someone forgets their wedding anniversary, a cheese chalet shames Wisconsin, and a scalp tickler ruins my life. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell…
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Ep 216: Milkcraft and Moozardry
Today's XXL episode features talking cows, putting with a baseball bat, and Ye Olde Keg You Piss In. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us: [email protected]...
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Ep 215: The Crease Between (your chin and your neck)
In today's 15/100th centennial, we hear from a new sponsor, click my body in new and zesty ways, and read reviews for jade face rollers. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/...
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Ep 214: Welcome to My Mine
In today's show we reintroduce even more new segments, things get dark, and we fumble in that darkness. But not before a whispering coalminer rocks our bods from our noggins to our johnsons. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and…
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Ep 213: Piss on It: The Book
In today's show, we look at reviews for a national park AND a medieval reenactment village outside Seattle. Same stakes, different day. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/...
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Ep 212: Fishing for Smiles
In today's show, we visit our rich uncle Toronto and his corgi, Eugene. And yes that's a euphemism. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us: [email protected]...
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Ep 211: You Cannot Throw Up
In today's show, two individuals attempt to be coherent. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us: [email protected] Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
The internet's first curated volume of other people's opinions! Each week, Jess and Jonathan take a deep, dark dive into the web's most popular review platforms, sharing with you the funniest snippets of humanity they can find. Yelpers who can't find the bathroom. AllRecipes chefs who completely change the recipe, then review it anyway. Amazon shoppers and their thoughts on meat by-products. With new themes to explore each episode, Jess and Jonathan hope to give voice to all the desperate internet reviewers shouting endlessly into the void.It's a comedy podcast!
HOSTED BY
Jess & Jonathan
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Everyone's A Critic have?
Everyone's A Critic currently has 262 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Everyone's A Critic about?
The internet's first curated volume of other people's opinions! Each week, Jess and Jonathan take a deep, dark dive into the web's most popular review platforms, sharing with you the funniest snippets of humanity they can find. Yelpers who can't find the bathroom. AllRecipes chefs who completely...
How often does Everyone's A Critic release new episodes?
Everyone's A Critic publishes regularly with 262 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Everyone's A Critic?
You can listen to Everyone's A Critic on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Everyone's A Critic?
Everyone's A Critic is created and hosted by Jess & Jonathan.
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