PODCAST · comedy
Everything But The Pub
by Jon & Luke
Forced out of their homes by their wives, Luke and Jon - two of the most average men you'll ever meet, talk about everything on their walks to and from the pub. Inside the pub? Nothing is discussed. This show is all about the noise, not the signal; imagine a deafening wall of exceptional mediocrity coming at you in audio form.
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Ep42: Maldi McFly
Luke’s new high‑tops earn him the nickname Maldi McFly as he and Jon reminisce about retro consoles and festival line‑ups. They chat about an upcoming Glasgow trip for a national sporting event, practise latte art and joke about May the 5th. The pair dive into Alan Shepard’s 1961 suborbital flight and other space trivia, setting the tone for a typically tangential stroll.More
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Ep41: Lady Angles
Camping, Wales, the mutiny on the Bounty, the brutal origin of “deadline”, moon chat, Michael Jackson nostalgia, car aerials and a cardboard Sabrina Carpenter all turn up in Episode 41. Lady Angles is history, nonsense and oddly sharp observations all end up in the same pint-soaked lane.More
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Ep40: Stickman with no Head
Recorded during a meandering stroll to the pub, Jon and Luke bounce from reversible jackets and BMX live streams to tea confessions and DIY mishaps. They ponder Titanic trivia, pay tribute to Prince’s musicianship and even argue about the origin of the word sand. It’s a laid‑back, tangential wander full of jokes, trivia and pub‑bound banter.More
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Ep39: Rule Benders
Everything But The Pub, Rule Benders, Jon and Luke, pub podcast, Scotland holiday, Belgium holiday, Dunkirk, ferry crossing, storm stories, rule bending, water slides, Titanic, RMS Titanic, iceberg, maritime history, Flemish people, Flanders, Belgium culture, Mercator projection, service station meal deal, sandwich fillings, camera mishap, photography, space photography, moon photography, Nikon D5, Nikon Z9, NASA imagesMore
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Ep38: Making Plans with Nigel
This week Jon and Luke reunite with an old friend over pints, reminisce about Top of the Pops and debate weather, cycling and gustow dinners. They tease facts about salt’s role in the word “salary” and marvel at Russia’s 11 time zones versus Africa’s enormity. Join them for banter, trivia and a pub night to remember.More
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Ep37: Wet and Brown
Jon and Luke wander through a spring evening in Bournemouth, swapping jokes about cold‑water dips and misadventures. They marvel at a WWII escape plot involving three tunnels and mountains of pilfered bed slats, touch on a Welsh legend about a heroic hound and reveal how one inmate mailed himself out of prison. Expect tangents, travel plans and Brown Ale quips.More
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Ep36: The G-Split
Jon and Luke brave the cold to swap tales about a flawless sofa delivery, a spiralling car‑service bill and DIY disasters before diving into St Patrick’s Day myths, asphalt vs tarmac and the challenge of splitting the G on a pint of Guinness. With parents’ evening mishaps, banned bonfires and odd would‑you‑rathers, it’s classic pub‑walk banter with plenty of laughs.More
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Ep35: Moonshadows from Behind
Jon and Luke dodge traffic, admire a full moon and discuss co‑parenting a compact camera. They reminisce about phone cards and Alexander Graham Bell’s accidental first call, mispronounce ‘habanero’, ponder screen time statistics and compare favourite months while rating the pub with their usual humour.More
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Ep34: The Pedantic Pedant
Luke and Jon wander under a starry sky in episode 34, hunting for a planetary parade and a hidden taphouse while discussing NASA history and birthday mix‑ups. They chat about Dry January relapses, favourite bridges and browse quirky classifieds. Expect banter, misdirection, trivia and a surprising “King of Sandbanks” among the many talking points.More
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Ep33: Surprising Silica
On a drizzly half-term stroll Luke and Jon chat through questionable outfits, Instagram-worthy poses and a surprise gift of fiercely spicy habanero sauce. As they dream up meals with their new oven they detour into calendar history, nit-picking listener feedback and the microscopic marvels of silica gel - setting the tone for a lively, curious episode.More
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Ep32: Double Moons and Double Rums
Luke and Jon overthink intros while strolling under two moons and sipping rum. They chat about BBC’s new comedy ‘Little Profits,’ recall the misheard 'Tragedy' music quiz, and reminisce about Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon debut. They also discuss Luke’s Neon Winter project, high street shops, atoms on a pinhead and their favourite sounds.More
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Ep31: The Confession
Luke hints at a surprising betrayal as he and Jon wander their usual route, sampling a whiskey subscription and debating whether whisky should be neat or on ice. The chat veers from Deep Blue’s duel with Kasparov to the origins of ‘clue,’ the idea of gestalt and a new lexicon segment, leaving listeners intrigued.More
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Ep30: Appliances with Headlights
Sheltering from the rain in Jon’s Ford, Luke and Jon swap their usual walk for a drive around the New Forest. They unpick local history, from Christchurch’s rivers to the bygone Argos catalogue, and recall the fateful night when Buddy Holly’s plane went down. This episode blends trivia and nostalgia with characteristic humour.More
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Ep29: It’s NOT a Joke
Luke and Jon brave winter weather for a delayed episode packed with surprises. They chat about twenty-nine weeks of hair growth, BMX racing and a family birthday before diving into Mozart’s life, the origins of the treadmill and the pain of wisdom teeth. Kombucha tastings, cloud science and Russian doll tins keep the conversation lively.More
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Ep28: Mystery Hooters
Luke opens Ep28 with an obituary before diving into Blue Monday confusion, quirky jokes about measuring, kombucha and Gascony. Expect cough sweets, spring‑cleaning gags, history lessons on Charles I and more, all delivered in their trademark banter as they wander to a Riverside pub and share head‑exploding facts.More
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Ep27: The Start of Softie Season
John and Luke kick off softie season by tucking in their T‑shirts and braving a wet January night with sniffles and Barocca. A trip to post a letter leads them into a darkly comic discussion of the Black Death’s arrival in Weymouth and the labour shake‑up that followed, before a Mr Men rap and a non‑alcoholic mojito lighten the mood.More
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Ep26: Basket in a Tree
Luke and Jon stroll through a frosty evening, chatting about the gap between Christmas and New Year, taking down decorations early and recording episodes as if on release day. Their banter covers port‑and‑lemon experiments, wise men gifts, car number plates and a red Cavalier before rating a local pub, pledging dry January and teasing a voyage into outer‑space trivia.More
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Ep25: Street Cheese
Luke and Jon wind down 2025 with an easy-going wander that starts with curry tales and carol concerts and meanders through Boston Tea Party history, the mysteries of entropy, polite driving and a cheese tasting like no other. Along the way they rate a pub, debate headlight etiquette and reflect on the joy of the journey.More
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Ep24: The Christmas Pub Crawl
Luke and Jon embark on their first annual Christmas pub crawl, full of nervous excitement and festive spirit. Between four pubs they trade banter about Bond films, Die Hard and crisp flavours, meet generous supporters and ask guests to rate each stop. As the night unfolds, their conversations meander from Bootsy Collins to parenting and perspective.More
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Ep23: The Great Geyser of Boscombe
Luke and Jon wander through Southbourne reflecting on busy weeks, their fondness for pub nights and an unusual dependence on listener generosity. Along the way they uncover the origins of recorded sound, with tales of Edison’s phonograph and an eerie 1860 recording, before veering into debates about mulled wine, cosmic journeys and the best song ever.More
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Ep22: Walking through Tron
Luke & Jon wander through Bournemouth’s festive streets, reflecting on new shoes, quirky Christmas facts and mulled wine. They chat about Alpine bars, Tron tunnels and the waxing gibbous moon, teasing stories of exotic gifts, heart transplants and Mary Shelley’s grave. This light‑hearted stroll through curiosity and camaraderie sets the stage for deeper conversations to come.More
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Ep21: Pancakes, Crabs and Microfiche
Luke and Jon power-walk their way to happy hour, arguing about moon phases, Lucy the hominid and whether we secretly evolved from crabs. Along the way they untangle gaffers and railway ballast, revisit the Pacific Northwest’s severed-feet mystery and rummage through some retro tech, before inviting you to a very daft Christmas pub crawl.More
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Ep20: A Dry Bag of Retro Tech
A bright and breezy Sunday walk finds Luke and Jon marking Episode 20 with birthday treats, outdoor coffee rituals and a bag full of retro tech. From early Ericssons to first-generation Android handsets, the stories flow into nostalgia, odd history, philosophy and pub-side reflections. It’s a warm, wandering episode full of humour and memory.More
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Ep19: Stump Based
On a freezing November evening, Luke and Jon reminisce about a high‑energy gig at Scout Hut, trade trivia about undersea cables and an old earthquake, and ponder words like ‘mondegreen’ and the origins of phrases. A tree‑stump stumble, heated gilets and favourite Swiss Army knife tools all make this episode a witty and eclectic listen.More
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Ep18: The Building Site Backdoor
Luke and Jon brave a sodden November night to keep their pub‑bound ramble going. Between puddles and French Fancy debates they reflect on Armistice Day, the odd restrictions of the Defence of the Realm Act and the surprising inventions war left behind. They also muse on misheard phrases and the fact your present is always slightly delayed.More
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Ep17: Don’t Be Like This Guy or You’ll End Up Like This Guy
History, wordplay and pub banter collide as Luke and Jon recall Guy Fawkes, muse on whet vs wet, trade compliments and taste the revamped pub before wandering into space travel, old proverbs and crisp debates. From missed Halloween episodes to free beer and hex codes, this chatty stroll teases many threads without spoiling the fun.More
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Ep16: I love you but I don’t even know you
A brisk night walk, a doomed blind wine test, and a blizzard of ‘housekeeping’ that actually goes somewhere. They correct a few favourite sayings, rate a cosy tap house, relive pre‑iPod MP3 days, dodge foxes, and drop a head‑eXploder about trees vs stars—while teasing changes that may (or may not) land soon.More
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Ep15: Card out, The Six of Diamonds
Luke and Jon return with tales of gym injuries and water‑slide escapades. They chat about ripping CDs, Norfolk heroes and sweet treats before wandering into a chaotic card game at the Spyglass. Misused sayings, birthdays and a Chinese proverb all feature, capturing the playful tone without spoiling the fun. And there’s a tipple or two, to keep things interesting.More
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Ep14: The Offensive Chimney
Foggy minds, gilets, broken sayings and cartoon villains: Jon and Luke roam dark streets before rating the White Bear pub. Along the way they correct malapropisms, recall hurricanes and Ripper letters, debate fondant fancies, glimpse an offensive chimney and marvel at an immortal jellyfish. It’s rambling, weird and very them.More
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Ep13: The Reinforced Conker
Luke and Jon wander through another late‑night episode, musing on everything from nose‑blind aftershave to waning moons and whether a puffy vest is a gilet or body warmer. They swap trivia about knives and rap names, reminisce about conkers and childhood TV shows, and let loose a whole new mini-series.More
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Ep12: A Minor Excitement
Episode 12 mixes thank‑yous and beer mats with a chaotic night at the George Inn in Christchurch. Luke and Jon navigate noisy roads, pass out QR-coded mats, and encounter singing tables and a souped-up mobility scooter before enjoying happy-hour pints and shandies on a wobbly table. On the way home they debate proverbs, learning styles and quantum entanglement.More
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Ep11: Bricks Removed
Luke and Jon’s eleventh outing takes listeners on a walk past discarded heaters and into musings about slang, bruised feet and sausages. They thank their first donor, Al Mason, and tease a pub visit that promises pints, gadgets and tales of camping, Savloy sausages and upcoming adventures – all before the real fun begins after the jingle.More
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Ep10: A Custard Amount of Cream
Two blokes, one dark forest, and a custard-level debate about cream. Jon and Luke celebrate ten episodes with a working phone box, a suspiciously glowing horizon, a country-pub review, and a giveaway for anyone still rocking big old batteries. Expect woodland ambience, retro tech tangents, chip-shop diplomacy and stargazing, with just enough peril to keep you listening.More
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Ep9: Carol
Episode nine gets heated in the sauna. There's some green tomatoes along with an imaginary trip to New York. Jon survives a car-dooring incident and someone needs their toenails cutting.More
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Ep8: The Waning Gibbon
Episode eight has an autumnal feel about it. Luke's DIY skills could be seen as criminal activity as Jon tries to out-do him with his massive tool. The moon weighs heavy in the sky and Jon does his secret celebratory dance to honour it.More
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Ep7: The Blue Hour
A coastal pub walk soaked in twilight, festoon light obsession, strange fruit, and nostalgic musings. Jon and Luke circle familiar territory, sip wine, rank Jaffa Cakes, and ponder short wars, sweet plums, and conifer-related hairstyles in this blue hour meander.More
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Ep6: The Curse of Christchurch
The curse of Christchurch strikes as facts go wrong, wine is ordered awkwardly, and Jon waxes lyrical about a doomed French ship. There’s interstellar trivia, alleyway misadventures, and a surprising pub rating — plus the debut of an 11-year-old's joke and a Flintstones car for sale. It’s chaos. Beautiful, average chaos.More
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Ep5: The Festooned Bicycle
A pub-lit promenade turns reflective (and mildly ridiculous) as Jon and Luke wander through seaside philosophy, lost cats, festive bikes, and intense egg analysis. With strong drink reviews, atomic facts, and anatomical mannequins, it's the podcast that makes melancholy entertaining - somehow.More
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Ep4: So Many Zebras It Was Basically a Safari
A coastal walk turns into a comedy safari as Jon and Luke spot odd behaviour, review a pub with... structural quirks, and wrestle with potato rankings, comic characters and intergalactic trivia. Throw in a truly bizarre swap-shop ad and you’ve got an evening stroll like no other.More
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Ep3: The Sideways Door
Jon and Luke’s latest seaside stroll spirals from a freshly tuned bike to a gravity-defying door, guinea-pig gastronomy, seagull stand-ups and a pub loo that threatens their review system. Add unwashed-jeans science, a VHS hoarder’s legacy and classifieds chaos, and you’ve got 40-odd minutes of gloriously rambling British banter.More
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Ep2: The Lost Bench
Luke and Jon wander to the pub and back, stumbling across ugly benches, cosmic time quirks, retro games, and wallet-melting beer. Expect tangents on rice math, rogue foxes, Tetris theology, and a jingling earworm you’ll love to hate. It’s an unscripted, hilariously British stroll that turns everyday chaos into podcast gold.More
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Ep1: The Watered Roundabout
Haircuts, after-shave and a re-recorded debut: Jon and Luke’s pub-ward ramble features a heroic roundabout-watering lady, a maybe-illegal Oasis set list, onion-factory lore and the maths that makes your brain go pop. Throw in jumper-based pint ratings and Gumtree’s worst painting, and you’ve got glorious British waffle at walking pace.More
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Forced out of their homes by their wives, Luke and Jon - two of the most average men you'll ever meet, talk about everything on their walks to and from the pub. Inside the pub? Nothing is discussed. This show is all about the noise, not the signal; imagine a deafening wall of exceptional mediocrity coming at you in audio form.
HOSTED BY
Jon & Luke
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