Episodes
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Headbands, breastfeeding, and Looney Tunes
New mom alert! (alyssa and her kitten if you can believe)
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MARY'S BIRTH STORY!!!!
Welcome to the world baby River!! He's so loved already. Fingers crossed he learns how to fart seamlessly
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epidurals, smoking in relationships, and Lindsay Clancy
We get updates from Mary's baby classes, the LC trial, and being alone.
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alien potatoes, Bug Juice, and haunted houses
We're back with mommy classes updates, haunted house tactics, hiding weapons under our pillows.
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chin implants, the mom card, and Mr. Fantasy
a week late, oops!
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Sincere, Danny, and Mary Kay Letourneau
Before the Love Island Finale, we root for Melanie (not Sincere), surprisingly get into UFC, and speculate on Ariana and Hudson from Next Gen NYC
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Church retreats, Girls, and doomscrolling (w/ Pudge)
A bit of a reality tv break as Pudge joins to update us on his ever fascinating life
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Taylor Swift's MSG wedding, Lindsay Hubbard, and Love Island
Still shook from the Summer House bonus episode, and Mary's first trimester, we recover onto TSwift's wedding plans, Love Island, and laying down.
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The Valley deep dive w/ Meg
Zack deserves his Monster fridge back
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Summer House Reunion, mommy classes, and Daniel
Mary's pregnancy updates and Alyssa's complaints
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Summer House Pregnancy Scare
Ellory named this week's episode. Also Mary has HUGEEEEE news!!!!
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Amanda Batula, West Wilson, and Amy Post
Ciara will be ok!! She is strong and we love her!!!
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Taylor Frankie Paul, lettuce wraps, and optimal health
Here to figure out what orthorexia is, if TFP is ok after Bachelorette cancellation, and how mormons occupy Utah
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Dad Tok sucks, Timmy vs. the ballet, and hot dogs
We gush over Jesse Plemons, hot dog machines, Mormon Wives, and wishing men find peace.
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Rob, the US hockey team, and orangutans
RIP Maura Huggins as she got Rob'd. We roast the usual suspects (Colton, Kyle, etc), and express deep concern for the animal kingdom.
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Cheating at the Olympics, Bad Bunny, and letting boys hurt your feelings
Mary and Alyssa questions the legitimacy of accountability, gush on brownie recipes, and rag on the Summer House men.
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Summer House predictions, the Grammys, and hypnotists (w/ Pudge)
Sat for the Summer House premiere, and for Pudge's tattoo ideas. We gossip on the Olivia Dean, celebrity tattoos, Death Cab for Cutie, and EMDR.
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Meredith Marks and suburban legends (w/ Pudge)
Cj joins us to drop some serious hometown lore, we rag on Meredith and defend Brittany (shockingly), and dive into all the stress that comes along with starting a new job.
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Colton Underwood and the Salt Lake City Reunion (w/ Amy Post, PhD in Bravo)
Justice for Ron Funches!! We rip on the most annoying of the Traitors cast members, defend Ron, dissect Heather Gay's claims about Captain Jason, praise Bronwyn, and have a laugh. Hope yall join us
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The Traitors, Golden Globes, and being hot for funzies
We bash Michael Rappaport because how could we not?? Same goes for Colton, again. We talk strategy for Traitors, Timothee Chalamet's globe win, Nikki Glazer, and of course Mary gushes more over Heated Rivalry.
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SLC Finale, Heated Rivalry, and gay
Mary has HR coursing through her veins, and Alyssa hates Tom Brady.
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Other peoples houses, gorges, and Bronwyn (w/ Ellory, Olive, and Meg)
Audio quality: poor. Vibes: amazing. We're live from Mary's basement!
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Alan Jackson, Bangerz, and dementia
We honor Rob Reiner and shit on Trump
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SLMW Reunion, Paul Dano, and getting pregnant
Was QT high when he said Paul Dano is weak???? We're gonna kick his ass. We roast Demi, complain about health insurance, guess what we'd be like pregnant, and share date gossip.
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Balding, primordial pouches, and Demi on SLMW
Mary shares her skin care routine, we learn about Miranda rights, what really happened to Captain Phillips, and Demi's assault accusations on Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.
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Bravocon, Mom-Tok, and the Kelsies in Disneyland
Back from a brief hiatus, here to fill you in on the Kelsies, Mormon Wives, and our favorite snack Fruit Riot!! (not an ad)
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LIB Reunion and parmesan
We are supportive of any and all cheese intakes unless the intake is none. The Love is Blind reunion had a mix of redemption arcs, LA has Alyssa in a chokehold, and Mary get fed by her husband pretty much daily.
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Love is Blind, seasonal depression and burning things
Alyssa did a spooky ritual that summoned a demon (her ex), Mary had to work for free because she's a loving wife (lame), plus halloween costumes, movie premieres, iron supplements, and gift giving.
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Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (with Amy Post, PhD in Bravo)
RH expert Amy Post breaks down the sprinter van fiascos, Jen Shah, going the distance, and Mary's comeback.
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Catholic guilt, intrusive thoughts, and The Alamo (w/ CJ Maiorino)
CJ joins us as we get toasty (whoops) to ramble on all topics including convertibles, kangaroos, trying not to yell at people, TSwift's Father Figure, and CJ almost getting punched in the face.
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Taylor Swift and Helen Keller (and a little bit of Ellory Smith)
Our most cancellable episode yet (oops). Mary fearlessly defends her cult leader TSwift, Alyssa bitches about her messing up box office numbers, and we learn about Hellen Keller. With Ellory!
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Fear of Swifties, bad friends on reality tv, and ghosts
We cover a lot of ground here so listen up: it's not Pete Davidson's fault he has butthole eye. Also: Raquel update, Mormon pregnancy tests, and Yik Yak.
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The Rapture, climbing mountains, and men are homosocial
We survived the rapture to talk about the Golden Bachelor, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, climbing Everest, and men (again).
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Dissecting TSITP and organized religion
What else would we be discussing if not the hottest TV show and clash of church and state? We dive into the nostalgia of our first heartbreaks, Swifitie vibes taking over TSITP, and sh**ting where you eat. Yum!
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Are You My First?, MN State Fair, and Scheana sucks
We're back from our brief hiatus to catch up friends!! We shit talk the men on BIP, dissect the virgins on Are You My First?, and find joy in the lovely eccentricities of the Minnesota state fair.
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Jo Bro lore, Harry Jowsey, and ChatGPT haters w/ OLIVE!
Olive Green joins us again!! We fill her in on reality tv updates, convince her to apply to Traitors, discuss casting spells, and debate the use of AI
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Olive Green on girl gamers and living nine lives
Our first guest is Olive Green! A Twitch live streamer, D&D extraordinaire, and "Nexplanon's biggest fan." P.S. - Olive did not peak in high school
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Kenny and Jana, germ theory, and relationship switch ups
Covid PTSD is fun to look back on, we swear! Once we recover, we dissect the latest Love Island news, friends with kids, and getting punkd by people we never thought would switch up on us! what a day!
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Next Gen NYC, friendship breakups, and cruise drama
Everything relates to Next Gen NYC even if we don't relate to it. We swear that makes sense.
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BIP Rebrand, Scheana's book, and TSITP
WHOOPS ALL TV! We have a lot to cover after our week off.... Love Island Finale, new Bachelor in Paradise, The Summer I Turned Pretty, Brock's affair.... also sorry our audio sucks this week for some reason.
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Kristen's engagement, birth control, and age gap phobia
Mary and Alyssa have quite a bit to say about The Valley; Janet on the run is confusing but Zach is king. They also share their embarrassing public poop fiascos, thoughts on age gap relationships, and Mary's inability to realize she's about to be proposed to.
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Karen Read, Taylor's recoupling, and men in job interviews
Love Island was a doozy this week so obviously we jump into our roasts on that. #IAmKarenRead. Also we're convinced what happened to Amanda Knox could have happened to us.
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Materialists, Jojo Siwa, and Amaya Papaya
omg we cover A LOT. Mad scientists. Biphobia. Nev on Catfish. And a celebrity sighting that almost put Alyssa in a coma.
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Plastic surgery, Traitors S3 cast, and catfishes
We're back for a hang where we praise Botox, condemn male gynos, and critically analyze the new cast of Traitors. <33
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Married life, single life, and reality recap
Welcome to our Far Out Hangout (FOHO)! Join us as we kick off our weekly hangs by getting to know our silly past and how we became bi-coastal besties.