F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast

After 400 episodes, we have FINALLY located the Mecca of harassing women who don't want our attention in public spaces. Topics include a dating app with no dates, is pick-up artistry a scam, expanding your physical preferences, accidentally improving yourself.Join the Patreon for MORE CONTENT. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's longer?  The length of a grown adult's intestines or the road trip to your evil, wizard boyfriend?  Topics include real sour, jealous energy, when do you stop having sex, doing your own inside research, communicating with your wife via text.Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, this?  It's just my favourite book that I read from time to time to really get inspired, Michelle knows what she's doing!  Topics include performative males, emotionally filling her cup, mommy back rubs, uneducated kinksters.Support the show on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

With the state of the world and, you know... everything, I don't think expecting John Cena to be cool is really that much to ask for.  Topics include masturbating to your date's profile, chatty blowjobs, being attracted to women, but not liking them, and dampening the clapping of cheeks.Join the Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Forget flowers, forget chocolates.  What every woman wants is a good, old fashioned, red brick.  Topics include committing to the brick bit, proving your masculinity, old love, cake for an ex.Join the Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We sit down in the Sleepless Studios here in Toronto to do a special deep-dive into the new documentary Inside the Manosphere.Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I don't know why I need to say it, but if you have to go to the bathroom... then go to the bathroom.  WAIT!  But actually use a toilet!  Topics include a go-anywhere kinda dad, keeping the back arched, bad bathroom idea, how do I know if she liked it?Join the Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

More like Carpe Deez Nuts, right?  Am I right, guys?  Deez nuts?  That's still funny right?  Topics include cab fare, too weak for missionary, leaving Raul out of it, sex recovery day. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm starting to get the step-sibling trend in porn now... it's the only way they could get the chemistry that sexy!  Topics include I love you and also I never want to see you again, embarrassing oral, treat her like your little sister, unrealistic dating standards. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's an absolute miracle that this episode exists considering all of the technical difficulties we suffering while recording.  So, you know, really enjoy this one. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're always bragging about our great advice, but have you ever thought of where it REALLY comes from?  Topics include never nude, definitely not premature ejaculation, the dating experts lied.Join the Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Next time you're out at a bar, I want you to look around and try to guess how many people are actively participating in their kink and/or a sex act.  Have fun!  Topics include exclusivity test, public vibrator outing, eating the peach, and the hand not closing the deal.NOTE: Also, we apologize, but due to a scheduling conflict we had to postpone our live show!  We're really bummed and very sorry!Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It doesn't matter what stupid idea your teenage brain comes up with, you can always blame Tiktok.  Topics include breaking beds, size comparisons, being a sleepy guy, and feelin' weird about feet.Support the show and get more content: www.patreon.com/fbuddies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Everyone knows that underwear resets in freshness every day if it's worn inside out.  Topics include the sleepiness men must fight, swinging in a situationship, keeping the drawers fresh, ejaculate volume. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

BRING ME MORE (SEXY) PHOTOS OF SPIDER-MAN!  Topics include the sneaking suspicion of dishonesty, the effects of emotions on sexual stamina, making your girlfriend more kinky, and position practice. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Please, for the love of God, if you listen to ANY of our advice: do not put soil inside you.  It's dirt.  It's literal dirt.  Topics include abandonment issues, cuddle boners, focusing on yourself is a lie, holy mole-y. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Before you marry that man you literally just met, please know that you have our full and enthusiastic support to divorce him. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy 2026!  Dain promises he won't make any bold statements about this year considering how last year went with... you know.  Everything.  Topics include the guilt of being a sex machine, basic biology, unexpected rimjob, navigating a kinky new partner. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I honestly can't remember what Dragon Pouch means or how we got there and I'm holidays, so you can't make me figure it out. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Studies have been done by all the top science research places: blue balls are an entirely made up thing.  Don't try to argue with us, argue with SCIENCE.  Topics include team building in the worst way possible, deck the halls with balls of blue, breast reduction woes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dain's New Year's Resolution is to stop suggesting that performing Mortal Kombat fatalities is a solution to your problems.  Topics include dude, where's my car?  The important of ball play, a pre-exclusivity fling, and bringing a cool vibe to a sex party. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's time to throw the "Let Them" Theory into the trash where it belongs and start taking life, and your relationships, by the reins with a very simple question: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!  Learn how to embrace bravery and become the master of your own destiny by asking: WHAT DO YOU MEAN!? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you're not going to drop at least $1.2 MILLION dollars on me PER DATE, I'm going to doubt your commitment.  Topics include how to hunt down your set up, blowjob pains, a very expensive first date, to use hands or not to use hands.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week's episode is a little shorter than usual due to technical difficulties and Dain being bad at math.  Topics include missing the giant hint, getting to the sex phase, deciding to break wind or a promise, and the value of rough oral sex. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's time once again to beg at the Altar of Beast in order to be thrown just enough scraps to continue our meager existence.  Topics include a beastly missed opportunity, creating a safe sexual environment, budget conscious condoms, the boy ain't alright. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mess with the bull and you'll get the horns especially if you're a big city woman who's too focused on her career to find love.  Topics include post sex shit-tests, long tongue but bad technique, a shaved butthole, irritated over old nudes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You know that feeling when you hear a song and then you make that whole song your personality for awhile?  Maybe be a little more discerning with what song you're choosing...Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Better start wearing a raincoat whenever you see me out in public because when I'm holding a hand... NOBODY IS SAFE.  Topics include how to be mysterious in the age of social media, playing dead, a damp pant situation, when to transition to casual dates.Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Don't you hate it when your stupid kid just exists and totally blows up your spot?  Topics include pirate re-population, sex inhibiting breast size, a surprise son, date burn out. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There is nothing sex about a Ziploc bag... UNLESS it's one of those ones with the slidey-closer thing.  Those ones are HOT.  Topics include oral hygiene wake up call, celibate Tinder match, get your ex back with no contact, preparing your sex baggie. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Niall is on vacation this week, so we're digging into the Patreon vaults to treat you to a little movie review of the unhinged teen romance movie My Fault. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There are a few exceptions to the rule and one of them is always if it's A Walk to Remember situation.  Topics include contractually obligated angry sex, impatient partner, never split the party, when do you know. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lock and load has never been a more gross turn of phrase.  Topics include the clean vs dirty debate, if he wanted to: he would, recording your dates for AI approval, a ghost tale as old as time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Unfortunately, Dr. Goon is all booked up for appointments for the next month.  I can refer you to another Penis MD, if you'd like.  Topics include date ideas for the broken armed, refusing to sleep in a sex stained bed, did you sleep with Dead Greg, and turning physical attraction into love. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we go off script and give you dating advice based on the grim things we've seen as bartenders and servers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

RPG!!!! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you saw me outside your home staring into your windows from the street... no, you didn't.  Topics include a drive-by creeping, an exciting new masturbation technique, channeling your inner Moody, and pity sex. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you're concerned about Dain's energy in this episode, just remember he's shirtless.  That should explain everything.  Topics include using Snapchat as a cold-call dating app, the mystery behind two hour sessions, info dumped on the Tea app, and being a starfish. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I think we can all agree that we've ALL wanted to see our friend's penis before... right?  Right?  Topics include your friend is undergoing a slutification,  constructing the perfect text to ask him out, drunken genital requests, dating when you're a trainwreck. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Everyone knows that oppressive government regimes are huge fans of the local music scene.  Topics include caught with a a less than true Instagram story, asking someone out who isn't responding, can you just live your life without cold approaching. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If anyone needs a dog to rent for their Tinder photoshoot, please contact me.  I have a wide range of available makes and models.  Topics include staging a doggy photoshoot, taking pictures as a man, when sexy banter turns into a linguistic car crash, I love you too soon. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you ever needed a brainstorming session as to what the worst type of bag a vagina could be, we've got you covered.  Topics include some much needed positivity, painful hickeys, dating misconceptions. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, wrap me up in a carpet and throw away my hundreds of snakes because I refuse to believe any woman doesn't want a vagina full of magic ribbon.  Topics include how to make your relationship disappear, the wandering eye that is actually pretty stationary, skipping lay day on first dates, and a Tinder profile 2000 swipes in the making. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Buckle up for Hetero Awesomefest 2, the second lamest musical event of the summer!  Topics include an untrustworthy retelling of Chris Brown's crimes, an ass maneuver, catching the bouquet just to drop the mildest joke.Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We celebrate pride with two of our favourite people live at the Black Sheep!  Trevor Campbell and Tim Lagman join us for a night of advice and laughs.Listen to Trevor on Queerial!Listen to Tim on Sex Ed with Tim! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Catch this episode before it disappears like the Declaration of Independence or whatever they're to steal in Now You See Me 3D.  Topics include tearing and texting, bringing up the snip, altar to an asshole, treat your dick pics like food bloggers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Remember when we were all stuck at home and were so horny that all of our dicks got injured?  Topics include permanent jewelry is ultimate betrayal, the unending erection, not trying to get laid on a first date, and hole preference.Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I swear the splatter of suspicious liquids all over my walls, floors and ceilings are just from my cat's medicine!  Topics include the sweetest dirty talk, deepthroat inadequacies, disclosing your circumcision status, mandatory eye contact.  Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When I'm reaching the expiry of my cum-clock, I like to play The Final Countdown as loud as possible to really drive the point home.  Topics include sexual performance under scrutiny in front of family, voyeur baiting, co-worker rejection, the loneliness epidemic.Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just try to stump us, we dare you!  Topics include interracial dating techniques, a surprise ejaculation, being the side character in your boyfriends rom-com arc, unacceptable sluttiness. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.