Figure Out Your Life with Toya T
by Toya T
Figure Out Your Life explores the experiences of a Black Woman Phd on a journey for the answers to life’s problems. Join Toya T weekly to learn tips and strategies for dealing with life situations, from navigating microaggressions in the workplace to shooting your shot in the DMs. If you’re looking for unfiltered advice, or a good story, Toya T is there for you.
Episodes
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Figuring Out How to Reinvent Yourself After a Life Pivot
It's my birthday month, y'all, and I'm celebrating with a deep, personal episode on reinvention. I'm unpacking my own major career pivot — leaving the classroom after years as an educator to become an education policy specialist — and tracing my journey from adjunct professor to PhD to my role at...
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Figuring Out How to Pour Back Into Yourself Through Rest
Having addressed how to cope with burnout and how to recover from it, I am now turning to the element I believe holds the entire process together — rest. This is the final installment of my three-part burnout recovery series, and in this episode I explore the seven types of rest that have been...
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Figuring out How to Recover After Burnout
After a five-year hiatus, I'm back — and ready to share where I've been. The short answer? Recovering from burnout. Multiple times. In this candid comeback episode of Figure Out Your Life Podcast, I get personal about my burnout journey across multiple life transitions and share 3 hard-won...
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Figuring Out How To Deal With Burnout
Sick and tired? Need a break? In this episode of Figure Out Your Life Podcast, I discuss workplace burnout and emotional exhaustion and share 6 ways to deal with this psychological syndrome. Links mentioned in this episode: Burnout harms workers' physical health through many pathways Overloaded |...
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Figuring Out Lessons From My 20s
In this episode of Figure Out Your Life Podcast, I reflect on my 20s and share 10 lessons I learned from it. So much happened in that decade that has impacted my life now--especially how I think and approach life--and I thought it would be helpful to share what I learned from those experiences in...
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Figuring Out How to Fight Imposter Syndrome
The term "imposter syndrome" was coined by psychologists Clance and Imes in 1978 to describe the persistent feeling that one's achievements have come about through some sort of accident, luck, or deception and that at any minute other people might find out you're an "imposter." People of Color…
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Figuring Out the Negative Effects of Being a "Strong Black Woman"
Many black women in America feel pressured to act like or be seen as "strong," projecting themselves as self-sacrificing, emotionless, and unbreakable in their daily lives. However, the "strong black woman" identity can actually be harmful to black women. In this episode of Figure Out Your Life...
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Figuring Out Dating and Sex (with the Flirty Savage)
Dating can be complicated even during "normal" times. Add in masks, social distancing, and a highly contagious virus for which there is no cure or vaccine, and you get a bunch of people trying to figure out how to safely meet someone during a pandemic. In this episode of Figure Out Your Life...
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Figuring Out How to Cope with "Zoom Fatigue"
Have you been feeling emotionally drained or exhausted in a way that you hadn't before back when life was "normal"? This type of mental and physical exertion are symptoms of "Zoom Fatigue." With more and more people working from home, attending meetings, communicating with family and friends, and...
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Figuring Out Gold Digging and Why We All Need to Be Gold Diggers
In a world where the more you have, the more security you can provide for you and your family, why is being a gold digger not considered a positive attribute? In this episode of Figure Out Your Life podcast, I discuss why we all need to be gold diggers and share 5 simple ways to begin gold…
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Figuring Out How to Be Your Authentic Self Every Day
What does it mean to be your true authentic self? What happens when you don't live an authentic life? What are the benefits of being your authentic self? In this episode of Figure Out Your Life podcast, I discuss the importance of being your authentic self and share 7 simple tips to start being...
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Figuring Out How to Develop a Better Relationship with Yourself
Do you ever feel like you failed at life? Often, when you're feeling this way, it is a reflection of how you feel inside. Understanding how to love yourself can help you cope with failure, rebuild your confidence, and live a better life. In this episode of Figure Out Your Life podcast, I discuss...
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Figuring Out How to Cultivate Black Joy in Your Everyday Life
With the pandemic, racism, and the Great Karen rebellion, what we need now more than ever is black joy. Black joy is resistance to everything that has tried to kill black people and failed. In this episode of Figure Out Your Life podcast, I discuss black joy and why it is necessary, and share 10...
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Figuring Out Class Reunions (And Why They Can Make Us Feel Insecure AF)
My 15-year college reunion was supposed to be this month. But the pandemic happened, and it was canceled/postponed (?), and truthfully, I am a little relieved. Class reunions only happen every five years; yet, somehow, they are easily able to stir up insecurities (both old and new) in many of us....
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Figuring Out How to Cope with Racial Trauma and Stress
Racial trauma, or race-based stress, is the psychological and physiological distress people of color suffer in reaction to experiences of racism, discrimination, and microaggressions. Such experiences include witnessing violence against another person of color (e.g., the video of George Floyd's...
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Figuring Out What Not to Do After the Quarantine and Lockdown Ends
Pandemic lockdown restrictions are easing across the US and around the world at varying degrees. And, there's a lot of talk about things getting back to "normal." And what I say to that is: Sorry, but don't expect life to return to normal. Even as lockdown restrictions loosen, there's still much…
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Figuring Out Motherhood ( A Tribute to Mothers)
This goes out to all the baby's mamas, mama's mama, mama's mama's mamas (*cue the Outkast music*). You are appreciated! In this episode of Figure Out Your Life podcast, I discuss motherhood and (since I am not a mother yet), I share the insights of 17 remarkable mothers, including my own mother…
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Figuring Out How to Trust Your Intuition and Listen to Your Gut
In these strange and uncertain times such as those we are living in, it can feel like our lives are out of our control and nothing makes sense. The global health pandemic has brought so many changes to our lives and it is unclear how everything will turn out. Many of us are unsure about what to…
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Figuring Out How to Stay Connected to Friends (While Social-Distancing)
As adults, we all lead such elaborate lives. Often living in different places, with growing commitments and responsibilities, it can be hard to stay connected with our friends. And, now that we are living through a global health pandemic, it adds an extra challenge, especially since we can't be...
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Figuring Out What to Do with Your Stimulus Check
This week the US government started sending out economic stimulus checks to eligible taxpayers to help relieve the economic burden caused by the coronavirus pandemic. In this episode of Figure Out Your Life, I discuss what you need to know about the stimulus checks, including how much money to...
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Figuring Out Your Life (The Rona Remix)
It's another week in quarantine. And, to keep y'all up to date with relevant and fresh information, in this episode of Figure Out Your Life, I remixed the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast for the global pandemic (also known as the 'rona). This is the Remix! Listen on iTunes,...
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Figuring Out What to Expect After the Pandemic Ends
What will life be like after the quarantine ends? Will there be a baby boom prompted by couples spending more time together? Will companies gain new perspectives on working remotely as opposed to traditional views on the workplace? Will social-distancing become a part of our everyday lives? In…
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Figuring Out How to Fight Off Cabin Fever and Stay Sane While Social-Distancing
Let's face it, social-distancing may become our new normal. For those who aren't used to spending tons of time at home (working and/or playing), the first few days may feel like a snow day where you don't have to shovel. Woohoo! But, after a week or more, social-distancing may trigger cabin…
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Figuring Out How to Support Women of Color This Month and Every Month
March is Women's History Month, commemorating and encouraging the study, observance, and celebration of the vital role of women in history. In this episode of Figure Out Your Life Podcast, I share 10 ways we can all take in our daily lives to support, champion, and empower women of color, and...
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Figuring Out Things about Yourself While Traveling Solo
Traveling with friends or your bae can be lots of fun, but there's something very special about traveling solo. It is a good learning experience and a perfect time for deep introspection. When you travel alone, you can learn as much about yourself as the destinations you visit. In this episode of...
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Figuring Out How To Reimagine Single Life
Single people are too often stereotyped and stigmatized. They are pitied while married people are celebrated. But, singledom is not a disease or a life sentence. Single life is what you make of it! It can be tremendously meaningful and fulfilling if you embrace it. In this episode of Figure Out...
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Figuring Out How to Deal with the Job Interview Waiting Game
Job hunting is like dating. You put on your best outfit, practice what you are going to say, and pray they like you and want to see you again. Afterward, you replay everything you said and did in your mind, ask your friends and family for words of encouragement, and then sit by the phone...
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Figuring Out How to Create the Right Mindset for a Job Search
Adopting the right mindset is crucial for a successful job search. The process can be time-consuming and frightening at first. But, approaching your job search with a good mindset can help you get your foot in the door. In this episode of Figure Out Your Life Podcast, I discuss the importance of...
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Figuring Out How to Deal with Loss and Grief
Loss is a natural part of life, but we can still be overcome by shock and confusion, leading to prolonged periods of sadness or depression. Coping with the loss of a loved one may be one of the hardest challenges that many of us face. But, grieving is an important process to overcome these…
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Figuring Out Life Lessons from Reality TV
For better or worse, reality tv has had an impact on our world. Reality tv can be dramatic, over the top, and (often) stranger than fiction. But every now and then, it can surprise you by actually giving you something to think about and apply in your own life. In this episode of Figure Out Your...
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Figuring Out How To Start the New Year Off Right and Make It Your Best Year
Don't let 2020 sneak up on you! Now is the perfect time to take charge of what you're getting out of your life. In this episode of Figure Out Your Life Podcast, I share 4 ways to start the new year (and decade) off right. Listen on iTunes, SoundCloud, Spotify, or Stitcher This episode is brought…
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Figuring Out FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and How to Overcome It
Fear of Missing Out, or FOMO, is a new mental health syndrome plaguing a growing number of people. Those afflicted with FOMO fear that they are missing out on what other people are doing; specifically, they fear that others are having exciting experiences that they're not. FOMO is especially…
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Figuring Out How To Say "NO" During the Holidays
'Tis the season to practice saying "No." It's no secret that the holidays can be incredibly overwhelming and leave us feeling stretched too thin and left with too little time, energy, and money for ourselves — and it's often our own fault. Many of us frequently say "yes" to invitations, favors…
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Figuring Out Living at Home as an Adult
More than one in five millennial Americans, ages 23 to 37, are living at home with their parents. Experts say the unaffordable housing market, rising student loan debt, and stagnating wages, rather than a failure to adult (i.e., not being able to hold jobs or launch careers), are pushing more and...
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Figuring Out How to Overcome Fear of Failure & Move Forward with Your Goals
Are you afraid of failing? Fear of failure is a significant obstacle that can stand between you and your goals. But, fear and failure are both parts of life that we can't avoid, and that we shouldn't try to avoid. In this episode of Figure Out Your Life podcast, I discuss my experiences with fear...
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Figuring Out Cultural Appropriation and Halloween Costumes
Halloween is here. And, if you are not sure what to wear, I created a special episode to help you celebrate the holiday without being culturally offensive (or straight-up racist). In this bonus episode of Figure Out Your Life podcast, I discuss cultural appropriation and Halloween, and explain…
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Figuring Out Cancel Culture (and Why It Doesn't Really Work)
Cancel culture is a modern internet phenomenon where a person is ejected from influence or fame due to their problematic tendencies and/or past actions. For example, R. Kelly was instantly canceled after the release of the docuseries Surviving R. Kelly, which documented the lenthy history of…
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Figuring Out Ghosting (and Why You Should Speak Up Instead of Playing with Someone Else's Emotions)
Have you ever been ghosted by a friend or someone you are dating? Or, have you ghosted someone? Chances are the answer is yes---to both questions! In today's dating culture approximately 50 percent of men and women have been ghosted or have done the ghosting; and whether it be by a friend or...
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Figuring Out When You're Wrong (and What You Can Do About It)
Do you know someone who thinks they are always right and won't ever admit when they're wrong? Yes, of course, you do! We all do. And, sometimes that person is ourselves. In this episode of Figure Out Your Life podcast, I discuss how to know when you're wrong and share 5 ways you can do something...
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Figuring Out Celibacy
This month marks two years since I last had sex!! And, no, I did not make a purity pledge, or become a born-again virgin. In this episode of Figure Out Your Life podcast, I discuss celibacy and share some of the benefits and drawbacks of celibacy, tips for abstaining from sex (without wearing a...
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Figuring Out "Shouldology" (In Order to Move Past Your Expectations to Accomplish Your Goals)
There are lots of things in my life that I think SHOULD be a certain way---I should have a higher paying job, I should be in a loving romantic relationship, and I should be 50lbs lighter. However, focusing on the "shoulds" has rarely helped me accomplish my life goals. More times than not it has...
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Figuring Out How to Take a Road Trip With Friends
I believe there are three major events that can make or break any relationship---weddings, funerals, and ROAD TRIPS. The unpredictability of road travel can bring out our best and worst qualities. In this episode of Figure Out Your Life podcast, I discuss some of my road trip adventures with...
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Figuring Out How to Make New Friends as a Grownup
Making new friends as an adult can be awkward, and sometimes very hard when you are new to a city, workplace, or group. In this episode of Figure Out Your Life podcast, I discuss the beneficial effects of friendship and share 7 tips for making new friends as a grownup. Listen on iTunes…
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Figuring Out How to Be a Great Wedding Guest
You've been invited to a wedding...now what? Before you do anything, let me give you the 411 on wedding guest etiquette. There's more to attending a wedding than getting dressed up, trying to catch the bouquet, and dancing all night long---as a guest, you have some responsibilities. In this…
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Figuring Out When To Stick With Something And When To Quit
I quit my teaching job two weeks before the school year started, despite not having another job lined up. And, it is the best decision I could have made for myself professionally and personally. In this episode of Figure Out Your Life podcast, I discuss why I decided to quit my job and explore…
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Figuring Out How To Learn A Second Language with Dr. Aisha Z. Cort
Today, speaking more than one language has become increasingly important for education, work, and travel. In this episode of Figure Out Your Life, I discuss learning a new language with Dr. Aisha Z. Cort, and she shares with us tips and strategies on getting started on your own language learning...
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Figuring Out How To Start A Business with Dr. Aisha Z. Cort
Have you ever wanted to start a business, but didn't know how to start? In this episode of Figure Out Your Life with Toya T, I speak to Dr. Aisha Z. Cort about her business Hey Dr. Cort! and she shares with us what she has figured out about starting a business, from idea to launch. Dr. Cort is a...
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Figuring Out How to Shoot Your Shot
According to Urban Dictionary, to shoot your shot is "to let go of your pride and pursue someone you are interested in"; "to take a chance no matter if you fail or not." For some women, shooting their shot at a guy they are interested in can be hard because of the fear of being rejected or of…
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Figuring Out Online Dating
Looking for love? Have you tried online dating? In recent years, online dating has quickly become a normal way for singles to meet and connect with other single people. In this episode of Figure Out Your Life With Toya T, I discuss online dating and share what I have figured out from my own...
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Figuring Out Getting Older
Toya T turned 36 this year! On this episode of Figure Out Your Life, she discusses getting older, societal perceptions of age and aging, and the double standards of aging for men and women.
About this show
Figure Out Your Life explores the experiences of a Black Woman Phd on a journey for the answers to life’s problems. Join Toya T weekly to learn tips and strategies for dealing with life situations, from navigating microaggressions in the workplace to shooting your shot in the DMs. If you’re looking for unfiltered advice, or a good story, Toya T is there for you.
Hosted by
Toya T