PODCAST · comedy
Florida Woman
by Tough Kitty Productions
We've all heard of Florida Man, but what about Florida Woman? Join hosts Kelsey Ann Wacker (Florida Native) and Nathan Simpson (Midwestern Outsider) as we dive deep into the humid landscape, bizarre crimes, strange history and beautiful fuckin maniacs that make up our country's weirdest state. A podcast as obscene and surreal as the place itself
Episodes
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FMK HALLOWEEN
WHEW strap in for an ADHD scumfest. We say nasty things about nasty stuff.
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122 - JUST IN TIME FOR MILTON
We're back at it. Just as Milton makes landfall. Would you rather be a healthy, 27 year old torso with no arms or legs, or a deaf, blind, fully intact 99 year old? https://www.wisn.com/article/missing-milwaukee-woman-found-safe-in-florida-returns-home/62405795...
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Crimes By Grimes
Would YOU drive 100mph with three children in the backseat to get your GF to her taco bell job interview??? https://nypost.com/2023/03/23/florida-man-drives-100-mph-to-get-girlfriend-to-taco-bell-interview/...
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Montenegrins Be Like
Why do Montenegrins keep a chair next to their beds? So they can take a rest after they wake up. https://www.fox35orlando.com/news/florida-man-allegedly-takes-stolen-amazon-van-on-20-mile-joyride-is-your-package-late https://news.yahoo.com/doctors-remove-150-live-bugs-234435817.html...
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Beachcraft Bonanza
Imagine being executed by a Beachcraft Bonanza. This is a prompt. Imagine it. SOURCES: https://wflanews.iheart.com/featured/the-ryan-gorman-show/content/2023-02-02-florida-man-bites-head-off-girlfriends-python-during-domestic-dispute/...
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Patreon CLIP: Bitches Be Going to Psychics - The Rose Marks Psychic Scam
Full episode available at : patreon.com/floridawomanpod Rose Marks ran the most successful Gypsy fortune telling scam in history, with earnings totalling close to 40 MILLION dollars, and she reached the peak of her riches in our beloved Sunshine State. Wait, are you allowed to say Gypsy on the air?
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Psychic Highway
I don't believe in anything. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/30/us/conjuring-spirits-in-florida.html https://nypost.com/2023/12/02/news/florida-woman-alyssa-ann-zinger-posed-as-teen-to-molest-middle-schoolers-police/...
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Teaser: I WANT TO BELIEVE - The Gulf Breeze UFOs
Available now at patreon.com/floridawomanpod Did you know a small Florida Panhandle town is home to one of the most famous string of UFO sightings in history? Hundreds of witnesses corroborated Ed Walters' sightings, but it all came crashing down. Join our patreon to listen to this deep dive!…
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New Year New Us
We're back on our bullshit. New Merch: https://www.nathanesimpson.com/store-1 Sources: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ron-desantis-collapse-trump_n_658ca832e4b014ec45a31537...
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We're going to f*ck George Bailey
We're going to guilt George Bailey into having sex with us. We'll lie to him and tell him we could solve all the money problems if he just did this one thing https://www.nasdaq.com/articles/the-10-most-overpriced-housing-markets-in-america-5-are-in-florida...
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Put All Old Ladies in Prison
Happy one week after thanksgiving, babes. We're still in FL. Shit's weird down here. https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-woman-allegedly-stabs-boyfriend-eye-rabies-needles-looking-other-women...
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Things Which Be Going Bump In The Night
In which a drunken gentleman disrobes and engages in a physical altercation with law enforcement at Disney World, among other tantalizing tales of brutality and nonsense. Please, do enjoy.
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TEASER - 108. The Gainesville Ripper
Just a bit of friendly advice from our episode on the Gainesville Ripper, a serial killer who committed a series of unspeakable crimes in the early nineties on and near the University of Florida campus. Find the whole episode on Patreon.com/floridawomanpod
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Full Contact Experience
Happy Halloween, spookers, scarers, gobins and ghouls. Please enjoy our collection of morbid trash from the Sunshine State. Murder-suicide pacts, big cat maulings, the booty patrol, american flag suits, undercover slutting....
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Wedgie World/Blame The Ghosts
We discuss Disney World's most titanic wedgie and the lawsuit which followed. We discuss Matt Gaetz's hijinks in the House, Desantis wringing FL citizens for all they're worth, armed showdowns between Pop Warner parents, dick-pill Walter White, grandmas doing hit-and-runs, Italian Bitches…
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Rabies Otter/Monday Night Babyball
We got rabies, we got people using babies for sport. We got guys throwing dudes off bridges. We got gigantic monster dinosaur gators chomping people in half. We got a shootout over tree-trimming. And then Nate tries clumsily to explain how Florida is the Freudian Death Drive of the national…
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V.R. Schoolhouse Rock
We got breastfeeding men, hijacked bulldozers, boy moms, chum play, airborne chemicals, Metaverse education, conspiracy theories, nerd rage, ring cameras and more. Let's...
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Black Bear, White Claw
Real grab bag of Florida nonsense this week, guys. We try not to wake the child as we discuss the nazis in Orlando, the criminality of Nissan Altima drivers, alcoholic black bears, problematic assemblies, rolex theft, and more. Fuck yeah let's go...
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ONE HUNNIT
We did it babes, it's our ONE HUNDREDTH EPISODE!! Thanks to each and every one of our listeners for coming along with us on this lurid, hateful journey. We love you guys. Patreon.com/floridawomanpod SOURCES: https://www.businessinsider.com/nfl-rosters-by-state-2016-9...
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TEASER: The Case of Baby Sabrina
Full Episode available at Patreon.com/floridawomanpodIn 1997, the Aisenberg Family of Valrico FL woke up on an otherwise typical morning to the worst nightmare imaginable to young parents: the disappearance of their 5 month old baby, Sabrina. What happened? Who did it? Where is she? What's going on?
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Teaser: Principal Kenney's Hypnotic Death School
FULL EPISODE AVAILABLE AT: https://www.patreon.com/floridawomanpod First of all, hypnotism is real, it works, and--improperly applied--it may produce deadly results. This is the tale of Florida Man Dr. George Kenney, principal of Northport High School, who practiced hypnotherapy on his student...
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No Big Deal/Bulldozers
Anger. Roach spray. Nunchuks. Forklifts. Barbie. Slavery. Fish sex. Mountain Dew. Prager U. Road rage. Gas Tax. Girls Gone Wild. Delirium SOURCES https://www.boston25news.com/news/deep-viral/police-florida-man-sprays-women-with-roach-spray-break-out-nunchucks-over-loud-music/976378694/...
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Rough Gay Manatee Incest
I'm not joking. That's what the episode is actually about. Please enjoy. Also, we're back from FL. It was hot as shit.
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COCAINE SHARK
Need we say more?! There's cocaine sharks off the coast of FL. Hop in with...
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Teaser - 94. Terry Schiavo
Were you aware that Terry Schiavo was a Florida woman? Were you aware that "schiavo" means "slave" in Italian? Learn all this sordid nonsense and more on this week's Patreon episode, where we dive into the case and the myriad philosophical messes it inspired.
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Happy FLorth of July
It's Independence Day once again, and we're in the goddamned spirit. We've got severed hands, baby weapons, human fireworks, patriotic street shredding and more. Get wet!We’ve all heard about Florida Man, but what about Florida Woman? Join us weekly as we explore the humid landscape, absurd…
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Teaser - Jerry Falwell, Pt. 2 - A Cougar, A Cuck, and a Cuban F*ck
Full episode available on Patreon at www.patreon.com/floridawomanpodTeaser from episode 91, Jerry Falwell, Pt. 2 - A Cougar, A Cuck, and a Cuban F*ckWhat do you get when you cross a handsome pool boy from Miami, a relentlessly horny menopausal wife and a resentful heir to a billion dollar...
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Flesh Eating Bacteria
We're back with a new addition! We recorded this episode a day before Kelsey Ann gave birth to our daughter! Join us as we talk about the flesh eating bacteria festering in the several-thousand-mile-long blob of seaweed hurtling towards Florida's coastline, as well as the flesh eating bacteria...
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Teaser - Jerry Falwell Jr: A Cougar, A Cuck and A Good Cuban F*ck, Pt. 1
Episode 90 of Florida Woman Podcast is available at Patreon.com/Floridawomanpod In this first of two salacious episodes we introduce our characters, Becki, Jerry, and Giancarlo, and dive into the relentlessly horny situation that would eventually bring about the downfall of America's largest...
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Ron, Interrupted
WE EXPLORE: Ron Desantis's embarrassing presidential campaign announcement, Sewer Iguanas, Gator Attacks, Cannibalism, Female Pedophilia, White Ladies' feelings towards law enforcement, and more!We’ve all heard about Florida Man, but what about Florida Woman? Join us weekly as we explore the…
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RIP JERRY
RIP Jerry Springer. A FL legend, baby We’ve all heard about Florida Man, but what about Florida Woman? Join us weekly as we explore the humid landscape, absurd crimes, bizarre history, and beautiful fucking maniacs that make up our country’s weirdest state. You can follow us on Instagram at:...
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A Match Made In Hell - Ottis Toole and Henry Lee Lucas
Welcome to--officially--the darkest and most disturbing episode of the Florida Woman Podcast thus far. Beware all ye who listen, shit is going to get weird. And very, very bloody. We’ve all heard about Florida Man, but what about Florida Woman?Join us weekly as we explore the humid landscape,...
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Jurassic Surprise
Guys, we're playing the hits today: Incest, drug abuse, hallucinations, breaking and entering, public misbehavior, castle doctrine, giant inescapable blobs of algae, and all the rest. Get in on it!We’ve all heard about Florida Man, but what about Florida Woman?Join us weekly as we explore the…
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Don't Pick Up The Phone - Florida Man is On The Line
Imagine this: you work at a McDonald's. Your manager calls you into the office. She is on the phone with a police officer, who is ordering her to,.. strip you completely nude. Sound like grounds for quitting? Wait until you find out how many times this happened, and who exactly was behind it.…
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Minisode 40: SMUT
Hello babes, on today's episode, your hosts engage in dirty sex talk and general filth. Gross. Topics include: Os, Js, JOs, Cs, BJs, and As. Pretty cool stuff. Also discussed: Sugar Daddy Appreciation Day, nailed-on cartoon tits, job site porta-potty deaths, sex manuals in elementary school...
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Minisode 39: Purp Lights
Hello babies. Today we're talking Tactical Guys, Shootin Guns, Sewer Gators, Rascal Scooters, Geezers committing vehicular manslaughter, keeping big cats in your public housing, and much much more. Let's boogie~~ We’ve all heard about Florida Man, but what about Florida Woman? Join us weekly as…
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Minisode 38: Doorbussy
Today's discussion includes: pig titties, doorbell lickers, the sucker v. f*cker dynamic, UFO wars, police sex, and alligator fetishists. Does that sound like your cup of tea? We’ve all heard about Florida Man, but what about Florida Woman? Join us weekly as we explore the humid landscape, absurd...
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Celebration, FL - Disney's Failed Suburb
Did you know that in the 1990s, the Walt Disney Corporation built a suburban town in Florida? Celebration, FL, was an experiment in New Urbanism constructed (in the Disney style) to recall an idyllic American past that never existed to begin with. The schools, municipal buildings, restaurants,...
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Minisode 37 - Evil Winds/Bolsonaro in Publix
Welcome babes, today we talk about warm nourishing mush, Jair Bolsonaro shuffling around an Orlando Publix, Red Tide, Evil Pests, the urban Crime Wave, Salt Life murder, and so much more! We’ve all heard about Florida Man, but what about Florida Woman? Join us weekly as we explore the humid...
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Bhad Bhabie: A Star Is Born
Six little words that ignited a cultural explosion: "Cash me outside, how bout dat?" In today's episode we explore the infamous, groan-inducing rise to fame of mush-mouthed West Palm native and overall ratchet teenage ho, Danielle Bregoli, now known internationally by her stage name, Bhad Bhabie....
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Minisode 36 - Christmas in Pinellas
Hello my bitches, merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, festive Kwanzaa, joyous solstice, or whatever dumb shit it is you do. In this episode we discuss the deep existential dread and disappointment one can experience in Orlando, the local Christmas customs of the residents of Pinellas County, and an...
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Dope Slaves: Kenny Chatman and The Sinister Underworld of Florida's Sober Homes
Greetings babes, today we're talking about some of the darkest, most depressing material we've ever covered. Because of the nation's opioid epidemic, rehabs and addiction centers around the country are overcrowded and hard to get into. Florida's solution? Create a new type of rehab called a Sober...
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Minisode 35 - Behold! The Young Gator!
Babes It's the FIRST ANNIVERSARY of the FWP!! On this auspicious occasion we have some extremely exciting news to share. Too exciting to include in the description. You just have to listen. Topics include: Horsey Cops, Sexy sephardim, Dog Sex, Mormon birth rates, and WAY more. Let's get it! We’ve...
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Minisode 34: Please Do Not Shoot Your Family This Thanksgiving
Fellas, ladies, whatever you do this Thanksgiving, please do not shoot your family members. It's our first holiday episode, and it seems as if Florida has a certain murderous tradition. And guess what? The true Thanksgiving is Floridian. We’ve all heard about Florida Man, but what about Florida...
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Randy Herman Jr - Sleepwalking Homicide
In 2017, 22 year old Randy Herman Jr. stabbed his best friend Brook Preston to death in West Palm Beach, Florida. The twist? Randy may have been completely unconscious during the act. In this episode we try and determine whether Randy's act was the cause of malicious intent or a terrible case of...
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Minisode 33: Date With Jill
We're back with a minisode for you boys and girls! Topics include: junk foods stereotypes, Colonel Sander's sexy forearms, Aaron Carter's Neverland experience, and more! We’ve all heard about Florida Man, but what about Florida Woman? Join us weekly as we explore the humid landscape, absurd…
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Buying Clearwater: How $cientology Took Over a Florida Town
Since 1975, the Church of Scientology has been purchasing land and property in the South Florida town of Clearwater with intentions of taking over the entire municipality and establishing a theocratic community. As of 2022 the sinister religious organization owns 185 properties and shows no signs...
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Minisode 32 - We Back
Greetings babies, we are back from our 3-week hiatus (where we got married and went on a damn honeymoon) and holy shit did a lot of stuff happen to Florida while we were gone! Hurricane Ian ripped the state a new asshole, Tom Brady and Giselle Bundchen called it quits and DeSantis air-mailed a...
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Minisode 31 - The Legend of Lyme Disease
QUICK ANNOUNCEMENT!! Listeners, the hosts of the Florida Woman Podcast are getting married to each other in four days!! That's right. This weekend! Then they're going on Honeymoon for two weeks, which means that even though we love you all, it will be a minute (read: a couple weeks) until we will...
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Diddle-odeon: Dan Schneider & The Dark History of Nickelodeon
In our 69th episode, we discuss the alleged abuse, harassment and exploitation of child actors at everyone's favorite cartoon television studio. Did you know Amanda Bynes has a face tattoo now? Not a great sign. We’ve all heard about Florida Man, but what about Florida Woman? Join us weekly as we...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
We've all heard of Florida Man, but what about Florida Woman? Join hosts Kelsey Ann Wacker (Florida Native) and Nathan Simpson (Midwestern Outsider) as we dive deep into the humid landscape, bizarre crimes, strange history and beautiful fuckin maniacs that make up our country's weirdest state. A podcast as obscene and surreal as the place itself
HOSTED BY
Tough Kitty Productions
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Florida Woman have?
Florida Woman currently has 118 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Florida Woman about?
We've all heard of Florida Man, but what about Florida Woman? Join hosts Kelsey Ann Wacker (Florida Native) and Nathan Simpson (Midwestern Outsider) as we dive deep into the humid landscape, bizarre crimes, strange history and beautiful fuckin maniacs that make up our country's weirdest state. A...
How often does Florida Woman release new episodes?
Florida Woman publishes regularly with 118 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Florida Woman?
You can listen to Florida Woman on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Florida Woman?
Florida Woman is created and hosted by Tough Kitty Productions.
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