Fun Box Monster Podcast

Sure you've seen a Piranha movie. But Spawning? That's something you're only gonna get in Piranha 2: The Spawning. Matt and Tristan talk about James Cameraman's most successful film ever. 

When you sit down to watch a movie called "THE MUTLATOR" with that cover, you pretty much know what you're in for. Late 70's sitcom music. And lots of it. Also, a token amount of mutilating. This week Matt and Tristan watch the classic indy-slasher, The Mutilator. 

When you sit down to watch a movie called "THE MUTLATOR" with that cover, you pretty much know what you're in for. Late 70's sitcom music. And lots of it. Also, a token amount of mutilating. This week Matt and Tristan watch the classic indy-slasher, The Mutilator. 

College. The one place where you can get class credit for being tortured by a madman and his brute henchman. Where getting into a tub in your skimpy underwear and projecting your inner most fears onto a CRT television is taken as par for the course. If you like green lights, goopy aliens, and Brian Thompson being incredibly Brian Thompson-y, you may enjoy Nightwish. 

I know. You're sick of hearing about yet another huge Hollywood blockbuster about a skateboarding rock star who reenacts the legend of Orpheus in a possibly post-apocalyptic Seattle made of shipping containers. But I promise, this one is different. Matt and Tristan talk, Shredder Orpheus. 

Hey...talk about your wooden performances? Huh? Eh. What do you want. The Podcast's ad-free. Anyway, Matt and Tristan talk about Pinocchio's Revenge. 

If you took the Freaks, The X-Men, and Cats and mixed them up in a big bowl, you would get a big goopy mess not dissimilar to the movie Nightbreed. The studio totally screwed it over, it's an incomprehensible mess in places, but I still love it. Matt and Tristan go to Midian where the monsters live for Nightbreed. 

Somewhere between genius and absolute idiocy lies Skinned Deep. What a weird movie. I love it, you should watch this nonsense. Matt and Tristan talk Skinned Deep. 

     Did you know that inside this amazing lenticular VHS box is an actual movie? It's true!      When a truck of "Genetic Material" hits a truck carrying notorious serial killer "Jack Frost" in the sleepy little town of Snowmanton, an immortal killer snowman is born, and orgy of Christmas themed mayhem is set off.      (Also, this was great for the video store prank where you'd swap all the Michael Keaton movies with it, and traumatize some little kids.)  Matt and Tristan talk Jack Frost. 

This eye opening documentary show the true dangers inherent in running an independent bakery. If it's not rats and shady business men, it's a murderous Gary Busey turned into cookie golem by black magic. Matt and Tristan talk Gingerdead Man!

One of the standout characters of the muck-man invasion of the seventies, Swamp Thing has been many things to many people over the years. He was a monster, an environmental activist, but most importantly a plant. Watching him punch monsters, punch goons, and punch scientists, I couldn't help but think to myself...what incredibly plant-like behavior. Matt and Tristan answer the eternal question, is Swamp Thing a rubber suit who dreamed he was a man, or a man who dreamed he was a rubber suit? 

The year is 2025. The only entertainment is Endgame. It's like the Running Man, but boring. Plus, you can just take off half way through and nobody says anything about it. Matt and Tristan enjoy the dirt-bike and machine-gun-fight delivery vehicle known as, Endgame. 

We check in on what new shenanigans our old buddy the shape gets up to this time. This week Matt and Tristan pick up every stitch for the Samhain masterpiece, Halloween III. 

Would I say that Newlydeads has a modern sensibility that really speaks to an enlightened audience? Not really. Would I say that it has several exposed breasts and someone running neck first into a two person wood saw? Yes. Matt and Tristan talk about the movie with the least GLAD nominations for 1988, Newlydeads. 

Severed ties was originally called "Army". Which is the kind of pun that works way better once you've already seen the movie. So Severed Ties it became. The specific ties being severed are limbs. They then grow back with a magic serum. Plus, they're evil and kill people. Matt and Tristan talk about one of 1992's best killer limb movie, Severed Ties. 

Virus is a movie directed by an FX legend. Directing...maybe not so much. Matt and Tristan talk Virus. 

When it comes to weird Christian themed monster movies featuring Billy Zane and a guy from Wings, it just doesn't get much better than this. Matt and Tristan talk Demon Knight. 

Sometimes you see a movie that is so close to being a classic that it makes you sad. This is one of those movies. There's so much to love in this movie, but somehow it just never reaches its potential. Just like me. Matt and Tristan talk about the 1989 zombie sex-comedy-zombie-horror, Night Life. 

Based on the Stevie Wonder song of the same name, Superstition fills in all the parts of the song where nobody was getting cut in half by sentient window frames. Matt and Tristan talk about the surprisingly fun 1982 haunted pond movie, Superstition. 

Do you like puns in a bad German accent? Well, tough. Revenge of the Red Baron is ostensibly a kids movie, but has a massive body count and the teen protagonist is a sociopath, but he is played by Toby McGuire, so he's a charming sociopath. Matt and Tristan talk about the kids(?) horror movie,  Revenge of the Red Baron. 

You think you have problems...this family has to live with Alan Thicke! If that isn't bad enough, all the good comics about Trepopkins are $500. Matt and Tristan talk about Stepmonster,  the best movie that Amy Dolenz made that year. Probably. 

In the third installment of the Poltergeist series, we're going to double down on the mistakes made in the second one and make them even bigger and more confusing. Are there moments of magical brilliance? Totally. Are there big swaths of walking up stairways and calling out someone's name like a lesser 70's Hammer movie? You betcha.  Matt and Tristan talk Poltergeist 3.

In the original Poltergeist a happy likable family, through no fault of their own, become the victims of a malevolent spectral force. In part two, the spectral force is there, but the happy likable family...is not quite as happy or likable. By adding too much Amityville and Shining to the mix, plus a tiny dash of xenophobia it misses the mark a bit. But there's still a lot to like about it. Matt and Tristan talk Poltergeist 2 : The Other Side. 

There's like a troll or something? I guess his name is Grim or maybe not. There's some caves. People walk a whole bunch. I guess there's a talisman that does something, but they lose it. Sometimes people's eyes go red.  Matt and Tristan talk about it for some reason. 

My toxic trait is that I would totally sign up for the lot 6 tests, even after that dude clawed his eyes out.  Join Matt and Tristan for the closest thing we got to an X-Men movie in the eighties, Firestarter. 

Ok. Big old trigger warning. If there's a thing that bothers you to hear discussed even in less than graphic detail (SA, animal deaths) this might not be the one for you. This is a pretty mean movie in places, and pretty incomprehensible in places so be forewarned. That said, on the good side it's a very impressive low budget movie that did a whole lot with not much. On the bad side, some of the not much was comprehensible dialogue and character motivation.  Matt and Tristan talk about the biggest little melt movie ever, The Carrier. 

Without a doubt, this is the best movie ever to feature James Earl Jones wearing a Locust mascot costume. 

This movie is a case study in how a generic title combined with a bad poster can sink even the best of movies into obscurity. How this thing isn't talked about CONSTANTLY is a downright tragedy. 

Turns out that the real Curse was the movie we all watched together. 

A special Valentine's Day episode! 

Remember telephones? Well, if you do, there were these numbers you could call for psychics, sex talk, or drunken Santas. As it turns out, like the majority of capitalist enterprises, they were run by the devil. Join Matt and Tristan for the eighties best phone-based-satan movie, 976-Evil. 

Crime is the disease, he's the cure. He's going to inoculate society with a vaccine made of bullets. He's putting a cast on society's broken leg. A cast of punching. He's going to treat society's plantar fasciitis by pouring gas on it and setting it on fire. Matt and Tristan watch the Cannon films masterpiece, Cobra. 

In a town where lawnmowers are outlawed, one outlaw rises to cut lawns to a uniform height. Matt and Tristan talk about Lawnmower man. 

In this Stephen King classic, several terrible Maine accents battle for supremacy in a mill full of rats. 

Evil Dead wind travels from Africa to Florida (Actually still Africa) to pop the heads off some folks who are just trying to enjoy their Voodoo in peace. Also, a guy is going through a divorce. Surprisingly more is said about that than the head popping. 

Not to crib a more successful podcast's thing, but I honestly can't figure out how this got made. I don't hate it, but it is so deeply weird, and I believe there are no more than 2 actual professional actors in it. Also it has better SFX than movies with fifty million dollar budgets. Truly inexplicable, but worth checking out. 

I only have one major problem with Ghoulies 4. There aren't even four Ghoulies. Haters will say there aren't even two Ghoulies, and that two actors in halloween masks don't count as little rubber monsters, but that isn't for me to say. Matt and Tristan discuss Ghoulies 4. 

Everybody wants to see Phil Fondacaro turned into a Ghoulie, and there's no other movie where you can see it. 

Everybody shut up. Tina is a treasure. How dare you all. Matt and Tristan talk about the best/worst entry in the Halloween franchise. 

The story of a Were-cat and her son, and nothing else super creepy or off-putting. 

The classic story of a cursed item shop where the proprietor doesn't want to sell items, shouldn't sell items, and does anyway, then gets mad that you bought them. It's probably a metaphor for capitalism somehow, but I haven't quite figured it out yet. 

There's definitely a house. As to fun...We leave that up to you. 

He who walks behind the rows has gotten a hip 90's makeover. Oaklies, Bugle Boys, the whole deal. Three times the corn...three times the terror. Or something. 

More like...Unwatchable...amirite? Yeah. The episode is at about that level too. Sorry. I'm on vacation next week, and really phoned it in. Also, this movie is kinda rough. 

In the tradition of 2001 A Space Odyssey, 2,000 BC, and 2000 Flushes toilet cleaner, comes Dracula 2000. The story of several regrettable haircuts, and some sort of vampire or something. 

The king will be praised. Hell will be raised. Suckers will try to phase him. But Pinhead won't be phased. (In space)

We thought we deserved a little treat, so this week we talk about one of our all time faves, Child's Play. 

The second best revenge story involving a Wraith. 

Of all the adaptations of Giuseppe Verdi's La Traviata, this one was the most confusing. 

If you need a film to teach someone a lesson about the dangers of arming chimps with straight razors, this one will do it.