Future Jerks

Episodes

1. 19

   Episode 19: The Last Newhart

   The hotly anticipated series finale.

   May 12, 2013
2. 18

   Episode 18: Close Encounters of the Jerks Kind

   Airline seats, amirite?

   Feb 12, 2013
3. 17

   Episode 17: The Basement Tapes

   The lost pilot episode tape discovered by two intrepid newsmen.

   Jan 29, 2013
4. 16

   Episode 16: The Filler Episode

   Among the finest Future Jerks shows you will ever hear.

   Jan 14, 2013
5. 15

   Episode 15: Holiday Fever

   In this very special Future Jerks episode, Scott & Ray celebrate the holiday season with heartwarming tales of yuletide joy complete with bleeped out swears.

   Dec 21, 2012
6. 14

   Episode 14: Pole Position

   Scott & Ray thrill your stupid ears with tales of road poles, boner pills, Elmo, WASP, bull penises and a conversation with a teddy bear.

   Nov 26, 2012
7. 13

   Episode 13: Tube Cheese

   Scott & Ray with a special report on cat poop, babies and Star Wars Episode 7.

   Nov 4, 2012
8. 12

   Episode 12: Boost All Over You

   Scott & Ray with a special report on boosting: the latest Olympic nut-shocking scandal.

   Sep 2, 2012
9. 11

   Episode 11: Like an Anvil

   Scott & Ray talk about disrespecting fish, birth photography, the world’s smelliest man and the results of the muscle pants pelvic experiment.

   Aug 20, 2012
10. 10

    Episode 10: Muscle Pants

    This episode probably documents the Muscle Pants pelvic experiment later mentioned in Episode 11. Results may include enhanced strength, damaged trousers and inane banter between old men.

    Aug 2, 2012
11. 9

    Episode 9: Genitals, Genitals, Genitals

    Probably about genitals. Possibly three of them. Any attempt at serious analysis is unlikely to survive the inane banter between old men.

    Jul 2, 2012
12. 8

    Episode 8: Space Truckin’

    This episode likely concerns long-haul trucking in space, zero-gravity rest stops and the possibility that Deep Purple bears some responsibility. The cargo appears to be inane banter between old men.

    Jun 17, 2012
13. 7

    Episode 7: Future Jerks Television Network

    Probably a pitch meeting for a television network whose entire schedule consists of poorly conceived programs nobody requested. Programming is interrupted frequently by inane banter between old men.

    Jun 3, 2012
14. 6

    Episode 6: After Eight

    This episode is likely about what happens after eight: eight o’clock, eight drinks, eight chocolate mints or eight consecutive bad decisions. Inevitably, there is inane banter between old men.

    May 20, 2012
15. 5

    Episode 5: Tears of Utter Sadness

    Probably an inquiry into whether sadness can become so concentrated that it develops physical properties. Expect grief, questionable science and inane banter between old men.

    May 6, 2012
16. 4

    Episode 4: A Nude Dope

    This episode likely concerns either an unclothed idiot or a catastrophic failure of judgment. Possibly both. The surviving evidence consists mostly of inane banter between old men.

    Apr 22, 2012
17. 3

    Episode 3: I Haz Cat Problemz

    Probably a sober emergency briefing on cat problems, internet spelling and felines refusing to cooperate with technical support. Whatever happened, it was accompanied by inane banter between old men.

    Apr 1, 2012
18. 2

    Episode 2: Banana Pelt

    This episode likely presents a detailed investigation into banana pelts: where they live, how they are harvested and whether one can be worn as a hat. The research is repeatedly derailed by inane banter between old men.

    Mar 19, 2012
19. 1

    Episode 1: Premiere Episode

    The premiere episode is probably about two men discovering microphones and immediately abusing the privilege. Expect technical uncertainty, trans-Pacific confusion and the customary inane banter between old men.

    Mar 6, 2012