Genspect Unheard

A mother in New Zealand fears for the future of her vulnerable, autistic son and the path he has chosen.

Warning: Please be advised this episode contains descriptions of a sexual nature. "My daughter was groomed into being trans-identified at 13. It began innocently enough with a friend joking with her that she was bossy- planting a seed that would grow into the belief that take-charge girls are like boys." A heartfelt account of how a mother uncovered the online sexual grooming of her child through the declaration of a trans-identity. She describes the role of social media and schools in cultivating a trans identity in her daughter.

A mother in South Africa expresses her anger and distress at the lack of exploration when her daughter said she was trans.

A mother in Pennsylvania describes how her son stepped back from identifying as female, but that things could have been so different if she had taken him to the gender clinic as she had initially planned.

A father in New Jersey worries that autistic and other vulnerable children are being swept up in the idea that transition is a solution to so many problems. He describes the organisations and individuals who have provided him a lifeline.

A Mom in Maryland describes how her son's trans declaration came out of the blue after an uncontentious childhood and how she found a community of like-minded parents, questioning the wisdom of life-changing interventions to treat an ideological state.

A mother of a trans-identified teen in the USA remembers her own desires to lead a new life, but that this was a result of wanting to escape herself, not her life. This originally appeared as a PITT essay.

A Mother in the Southern United States describes the external influences on her son through social media sites, including exposure to extensive pornography. Originally an essay on PITT, contains some explicit descriptions.

A dad in Bristol, UK, grapples with the unscientific basis for transgender medicine, and the ideological lens through which only one pathway emerges - medical and surgical transition.  This story was originally on PITT, and to protect anonymity, it was read by another parent.

A mother in the UK describes her experience of having a son who removed himself from his family and changed beyond recognition in his quest to find his place in the world.

A mother's heart breaks and then finds solace with others who also feel their sons and daughters have been taken from them.

A mum from Australia shares her story of how previously supportive medical professionals dismissed her concerns about her daughter's newfound identity.

A mother in Colorado describes how her son's difficulties were made worse by clinicians agreeing with his self-diagnosis.

A mom from South Carolina describes the impact of pre-adoption trauma on her daughter, and recommends parents read 'Hold on to Your Kids' by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté.

A mother in the midwest asks why medical professionals won't tell the truth about transition.

Originally featured on PITT, A New York mother and lawyer delves into the arguments in support of and against early gender transition.

"I'm a Mum in London. Three years ago, my beautiful complicated, kind, loving daughter revealed to us that she was really a boy, starting a journey that now feels more like an open wound than a transformative and healing process."

Mother of a son in North Carolina, whose child cemented his new identity in online forums. This story initially appeared in PITT - Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Trans (https://pitt.substack.com)

A Mom in Los Angeles describes her daughter's path towards a trans identity.

A mom from Ontario, Canada describes how her husband had seen an interview with Abigail Shrier, so they felt prepared.

Californian parents speak of online and real-life influencers and clusters of children having the same experiences.

When our child questioned their sexuality in their early teens, we  explained that it was part of growing up and they would come to their  own conclusions. We were so proud that they felt able to share their  feelings with us. Our child had a relationship with a friend and the  mother’s reaction was to banish them and to tell other parents that  their child would not go to parties etc. if ours did. Our child quickly went from having hordes of friends round and lots  of parties to none, literally within a couple of weeks, and then, soon  after, they identified as trans. We agreed to a CAMH appointment; it was  the worst decision we have ever made as they immediately led our  14-year-old to believe their life would be improved with medical  transition. On top of this we found that the school had been calling our  child by a different name and pronouns. We arranged meetings with the  school and the school safeguarding officer said “we have to give them  options.” Options don’t start with the suggestion of drastic  interventions. We went from having a child who we argued with once a year to one  having utter meltdowns including with knives and pills. We don’t blame  my child, we blame the doctors and the psychologists who didn’t give  appropriate care to my vulnerable child. We also blame the schools and  mental health professionals who went along with it. If my child had been anorexic or taking illegal drugs the treatment,  they and we would have received would have been so much different, we  would have been supported. There is a huge failure in the system and it  permeates throughout. We will never trust the NHS, Schools, Safeguarding, and many people we used to call friends. It has broken us to my core, the fact that so many people are  complicit in starting a perfectly healthy child on a lifetime of  medication and surgery.

A USA-based mother trusts her own instincts about her son, and feels swept away by her own feelings.

 A mother in Southern California shares her story.

A mother in Canada tells her story.

Lily is a mum in London, England. Her daughter desisted after spending a year identifying as a boy. Transcript: In 2015 my fifteen-year-old daughter, who had come out as a lesbian  age 14, told me she was transgender. She had shown no discomfort with  her female body as a child, although she’s always preferred jeans over  dresses and enjoyed boisterous play. Prior to her announcement she’d  spent a lot of time on YouTube watching ‘trans’ videos and, I later  found out, she had created an online persona as a boy. I was hugely concerned about the medical pathway that potentially  loomed ahead. I read up everything I could on the subject and talked  about it with her. I sent her articles, discussed feminism and asked  awkward questions like: ‘How can you know what a boy feels like, when  you’re a girl?’. I was very vocal about my disagreement, while making it  clear I loved her and would always be there for her. I told her she was  spending too much time online and had to leave her phone downstairs to  charge at night. I encouraged her to get outside ‘in the real world’. I  told her many teenagers have some sense of dysphoria and showed her a  graph recording the increase in girls presenting to gender clinics. She wanted to start college as a boy. I said no. She could have gone  behind my back, but she didn’t. Sometimes we argued. I remember her  shouting ‘I am not a lesbian!’ Then a close friend of hers desisted,  which made a big impression on her. We’ve always been open to debate  & disagreement in our family; I know my approach wouldn’t work for  everyone. Just under a year after first ‘coming out’ to me, she sent me a  text saying “I’m a girl. I was never a boy.” Six years later, my daughter has just graduated from university. She  is happy and confident, a lesbian, and looks back on that time with  slight embarrassment. We are very close.

A father in Virginia, USA, describes his fears for his daughter's future, and his efforts to get her to slow down her transition.

I am a mother and I want to share my story. For too long, parents have felt unable to speak out about the harms and pitfalls of the paths our children and young people are treading. Parents have felt silenced. Parents have felt afraid. Parents have felt unheard. These are our stories. These are our lives. These are the voices of Genspect Unheard.