Getting Close

HAPPY PRIDE! This is the last episode before we take our summer break, and I couldn't be more excited to share this one with you. It's perfect for Pride, perfect for summer, perfect for friendship, and perfect for you! In this episode, Ben and I talk about how happiness is different from joy, but joy is what keeps us going, why you should fight in a British accent, whimsy, new friendship, Pride as a mile marker, and how we're navigating our budding new friendship. After coming out at 15 in a small town, Ben Greene has devoted his career to spreading empathy, education, and storytelling around the trans experience. Whether it's for NASA, Johnson & Johnson, or over 200 PFLAG chapters, Ben leads with joy. He is the author of the Substack "Good Queer News", as well as the book "My Child is Trans, Now What? A Joy Centered Approach to Support". He has been nominated for a GLAAD media award and is passionate about leading with joy and educating others from a place of compassion—no matter where they're starting from. In this episode, we get curious about: How pride is a mile marker that we have the honor of passing by Why you should fight in a British accent Concrete ways to bring more whimsy into your life How he and I are navigating our own new friendship Ben's brilliant two similarities tip on where to find new friends Why you may not always be able to choose happiness, but you can always choose joy And how we stay hopeful in these trying times Links Good Queer News: https://www.goodqueernews.com/ Ben on IG: https://www.instagram.com/pseudo.bro/ Aidan on IG: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Getting Close on IG: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Chapters (00:00) Celebrating Pride and Connection (02:49) The Meaning of Pride (06:00) Joy vs. Happiness (08:48) Joy as a Tool for Resistance (11:58) Building Connections and Community (14:46) Navigating Vulnerability and Earnestness (18:01) Creating Whimsy in Relationships (29:35) Habit Stacking with Joy (34:23) The Paradox of Choice (38:56) Finding Hope in Despair (45:55) Embracing Discomfort for Growth (52:50) The Power of Community and Change  

If you find yourself stuck in endless cycles of bad dating, unfulfilling friendships, and bad sex, this episode will help you get untangled. In this episode, you and I sit down with Jordan Gonsalves to talk about the hidden impact of shame on all of our lives. We dive deep into Jordan's journey with shame, how shame shows up in relationships and dating, self-worth and aging, practical tools to combat shame, and Jordan's new podcast Unshaming. Jordan Gonsalves is a journalist who reports on shame and the host of a new podcast called Unshaming, coming out June 17th. He's interviewed over a hundred people on how shame has kept them from finding love, from being happy with their body, from being happy with their lives, and how they've overcome it. His goal is to teach you that the shame we carry isn't ours to begin with. We Get Curious About How the opposite of shame is actually belonging How compulsive dating is a shame avoidance strategy Why you need to grieve the past chapters of your life How to combat any compulsive behaivors How learning your virtues can help you find community. Links Unshaming: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/unshaming/id1495535622 Jordan on Substack: https://jordangonsalves.substack.com/ Jordan on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jor_gonsalves/ Aidan on IG: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Getting Close on IG: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/ Chapters (00:00) Understanding Shame and Its Impact (02:51) Jordan's Journey with Shame (05:44) The Roots of Shame in Childhood (09:07) Shame and Validation in the LGBTQ+ Community (11:56) Compulsive Behaviors and Escaping Shame (14:50) Dating and the Role of Shame (18:06) Grief, Vulnerability, and Healing Shame (20:57) Overcoming Shame: Steps to Acceptance (27:40) Embracing Self-Worth and Acceptance (32:59) The Power of Belonging and Community (40:04) Aging and the Gift of Life (46:14) Curiosity and Connection in the Modern World

If you've ever felt behind in life, like you aren't quite measuring up to your peers, or perhaps you have no clue what you're doing. If that's the case, this is the episode for you. In this episode, Steven Rowley and I sit down to discuss his incredible career and how he became a bestselling author after he turned 45. We unpack what it felt like to take that leap of faith and why it's never too late to reorient your life and start chasing your dreams. We also get vulnerable about the challenges of long-term relationships, our relationships to aging, and what it really means to be a role model in a post-AIDS world. Steven Rowley is the New York Times bestselling author of Lily and the Octopus, The Editor, The Guncle, The Celebrants, The Guncle Abroad, The Dogs of Venice, and Take Me With You. Originally from Portland, Maine, he is a graduate of Emerson College and currently resides in Palm Springs with his husband, the writer Byron Lane, and three rescue dogs. Links Steven's Books: https://www.stevenrowley.com/ Steven on IG: https://www.instagram.com/mrstevenrowley/ Aidan on IG: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Getting Close on IG: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/ Chapters (00:00) Introduction to Reinvention and Second Chances (02:49) The Journey of Coming Out and Embracing Identity (06:09) The Path to Becoming a Writer (09:00) Navigating Relationships and Loneliness (11:54) The Challenges of Long-Term Relationships (15:08) The Leap of Faith into Writing (18:00) Aging and Its Perception in Society (20:51) Exploring Themes of Grief and Relationships in Writing (28:45) The Role of Humor in Grief and Reinvention (30:07) Navigating Grief and Creative Validation (32:19) The Importance of Intergenerational Friendships (34:11) Crushes and Their Significance in Relationships (36:03) The Intersection of Personal Life and Creative Work (37:56) Evolving Perspectives on Marriage and Relationships (40:14) The Impact of Online Discourse on Relationships (42:09) The Artist's Relationship with Their Work (45:24) Advice for Aspiring Authors (47:15) Being a Role Model Through Visibility (49:24) The Power of Storytelling in Building Empathy (49:54) Community and Connection in the Digital Age

If you're constantly worrying about money and wondering how you're going to make it through the summer without maxing out your cards, this episode's for you. In it, I sit down with finance guru Nick Wolny, author of Money Proud, as he teaches you and me his seven words to generate wealth. We also explore how shame makes us spend beyond our means, why Grindr is designed to make you so miserable, the unique ways LGBTQ folks interact with money, why you need to stop shopping on Instagram, and why investing is the key to building wealth. NICK WOLNY is a finance author and editor. He writes about money, behavior, queer culture, and how they intertwine, usually via his email newsletter Financialicious. Nick is the finance columnist for Out magazine and has provided on-air commentary for CNN, Good Morning America, and others. His first book, Money Proud: The Queer Guide to Generate Wealth, Slay Debt, and Build Good Habits to Secure Your Future, was published with HarperCollins and recommended by The New York Times. We Get Curious About: How consumerism was invented to make you feel like sh*t about yourself How LGBT folks are much more likely to overspend Why gig work isn't the long-term side hustle we hope it is Nick's number one tip to start turning your money around How the gays afford all their lavish trips How Grindr's bugs are all part of their plan to make you miserable Links Money Proud by Nick Wolney: https://nickwolney.com/book Nick on IG: https://instagram.com/nickwolney Aidan on IG: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Getting Close on IG: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/ Wealthfront Investing App - https://www.wealthfront.com Acorns Investment App - https://www.acorns.com Weapon-Free Funds - https://www.ethicalinvesting.com/weapon-free Prison-Free Funds - https://www.ethicalinvesting.com/prison-free Chapters (00:00) Introduction and Gratitude (02:53) Understanding Money Stress in the LGBTQ+ Community (05:48) The Emotional Side of Spending (09:06) Thought Patterns and Financial Literacy (12:09) The Seven Word Plan for Wealth (14:53) Budgeting and Intentional Spending (17:43) Consumerism and Identity (20:59) The Impact of Advertising on Spending Behavior (26:16) The Economics of Dating Apps (28:04) Exploring Income Opportunities (32:25) The Importance of Multiple Income Streams (33:20) Investing for the Future (39:41) Navigating Ethical Investing (41:58) Community and Connection in Finances

If a gay bar you love has ever shut down, you must listen to this episode. In this episode, Rachel Karp and I get into her incredible road trip where she visited every lesbian bar in the country with her wife and best friend. She takes us on a tour of Queer bar history, complete with a legal fight to wear pants, how windows are actually a sign of progress, the difference between blue state bars and red, how bars are changing to keep up with the times, and four ways you can actually help your favorite queer bar today. RACHEL KARP is a writer and producer who has worked across podcasts, TV, film, theater, and digital media. The co-creator and producer of the award-winning documentary podcast Cruising, she has also supported series for LinkedIn News, Paramount+, A&E, and Oxygen. She holds a bachelor's degree in theater and English from Skidmore College. We Get Curious About: * How queer bars sometimes start the gentrification that eventually kills them * Why queer bars in Oklahoma have better communities than the ones in New York * Why queer bars with windows are a signal of radical progress * Who gets to exist in Queer bars? * How her podcast helped open a new Queer bar in Massachusetts * Four unique ways you can save the Queer bars you love! Links Pre-Order The Lesbian Bar Chronicles: https://www.beacon.org/The-Lesbian-Bar-Chronicles-P2460.aspx Cruising Podcast: https://cruisingpod.com Rachel on IG: https://www.instagram.com/rachel.karp/ Cruising on IG: https://www.instagram.com/cruisingpod Aidan on IG: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Getting Close on IG: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/ Chapters (00:00) Introduction to Queer Spaces and Their Importance (03:17) The Journey of Chronicling Lesbian Bars (07:53) Experiences in Queer Bars Across the Country (12:27) The Significance of Community in Queer Spaces (14:48) Historical Impact of Queer Bars (18:55) Adapting to Modern Times: The Evolution of Queer Bars (22:55) Inclusivity in Queer Spaces: A Double Standard? (25:41) Navigating Identity and Community in Queer Bars (26:39) Exploring Queer Spaces in Red States (29:05) The Impact of Gentrification on Queer Bars (32:56) Supporting and Sustaining Queer Spaces (39:31) The Future of Queer Bars and Community (46:50) Preserving Queer History and Spaces This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe