Green Blooded Bastard's Movie Commentary Podcast

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches NIGHTBORNE. This slop is trash and should be hatefucked until they take it down. Go leave shit comments on the YouTube page!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Glass House. This movie is not horrible, but somehow it's trash! Give it a shot after you've had a few shots.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Kubrick By Candlelight. This short film is pretty fun, but also packs in a bunch of Kubrick references, some of which I noticed, but I'm sure there are lots that I didn't even notice. Give it a watch!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Boy Next Door. This movie is a new, fresh hell that haunts you as you watch it, but that was not the point!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Guard Dog. This is a funny short film about how we see our dogs and what they may be thinking.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Sons of Steel. This movie is a fucking wild fever dream of what the fuck barbecue!?!?! This is what happens when you send all your criminals to the edge of the Earth and let them make films!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Hercules in New York. This movie is just kind of an average film, which is fine. It could be worse, and frankly, it should be worse! During this episode, I reveal that I was accepted into a master's program and scanned some pages from an issue of my zine. I also semi-crash out about something haha!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches A Dog's Life. In this film, the tramp from outer space teams up with a dog from the wrong side of the tracks to kick some ass!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Psychic (Short 2018).  It's a family affair in this short film.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Rink. This movie is a thing that was made. Yeah and I watched it.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Mortal Kombat (1995). This movie is a blast from the past with some magic punches and shit kung fu fighting shit in it!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Men. This movie is a new, fresh hell that haunts Jessie Buckley in this joint!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches How To Shoot A Ghost. In this film, Ghost girl and Ghost boy wander the streets living a lie. It's definately a thing.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Together. This is a film about how we see ourselves and our partners and individuilism and losing yourself in someone and some tits!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Death and Ramen. In this short film, Ramen is trying to kill himself and kinda fucks it up so he plays chess with Death and then goes to the club. I'm Bobby Mom!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches What's a Nice Girl Like You Doing in a Place Like This?. In this short film, a dude goes crazy over a fucking photo and shit gets crazy for a while.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Torque. In this film, the dude from The Grudge teams up with the dude from NWA to take on Adam Scott and Vince from Fast Five and Blade 2! The film closes out with some Nickleback and shit get's real at some point between several dolly zoom shots! Fucking kill me!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches BMX Bandits. Ninety minutes and there's barely a fucking BMX in it for around 70 minutes! What a fucking slog. Go watch Gleaming the Cube instead!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Hot Frosty. In this film, a jacked snowman comes to life to help women cum. 

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Ernest Saves Christmas. In this film, Santa is trying to give up his powers to some chump so he can bone an old lady. There are some repulsive little shits and Ernest traffics some underage girl.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Lego Star Wars Holiday Special. In this film, some Jedi goes missing in space and time and shit get's real, bro.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Jane Austen's Period Drama. In this film, a chick get's her period as the exact wrong moment and hilarity ensues.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Weapons. In this film, some kids go missing and it's up to Cable, Silver Surfer, and Wong team up to find them. Shit hits the fan and gets real real quick.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches ANIMA. In this film, a prick dude is living in a fantastical world where song & dance happen. 

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause. In this film, a prick tries to save Christmas again, but this time via vaginal creampie and knocks up Elizabeth Mitchell and somehow does. This is the 11th aniversary episdoe! #fuckice

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Santa Clause 2. In this film, a prick tries to save Christmas by getting married and tit fucking Elizabeth Mitchell and somehow does.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Santa Clause. In this film, a prick tries to save Christmas and somehow does.  

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Meshes of the Afternoon. In this short film, a woman is having issues.   Here is a link to the film: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8u3qVKu59Io

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Simpsons Christmas Special. In this telefilm, a slob tries to save Christmas and somehow does.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches A Christmas Carol (1938). In this film, a pale horse rides into the heart of man to show him the errors of his ways or some shit like that.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches War Is Over!.   Here is a link to the film: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W68-XaFepOg

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Once Upon a Snowman. I'd say that this film is a let down, but I'll just let it go.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Flight Risk. This movie is a brown arrow dumpster fire of fun. Give it a shot or don't, I don't care haha. In this episode I do dishes, bake some cookies and do laundry.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Zen - Grogu and Dust Bunnies. Get zen bro.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar. This fucking film is a wild one. Floating fucks, magic stuff and gambling... what more do you need!?

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The After. This big cocked movie may be short, but size matters not when you have big dick energy!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Resemblance. This movie is about a family trying to gain some sort of closure about something to do with their dead son.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches 12 Angry Men (1957). This big cocked movie still holds up and I just found out that they did a remake with a banger cast in the 1990s so I might also do that film too. Fuck it, bro!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Longlegs. In this film, a pale horse-faced looking fucker named Longlegs is a Satan loving cuck, and there are some strange dolls that do weird shit!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches It's not just you, Murray!. This short film is an award winning film by a young Marty Scorsese.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Dementia 13.  This movie did some stuff and was ok for what it was more or less I guess.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watchesThe Big Year.  This movie is a lighthearted romp that tells a fun story. I didn't watch through the credits becuase I was out of there, but there are some decent postscripts. Note: The ending of original file is garbled a bit and it sounds like it's almost sped up for some reason so thats fucked up and annoying.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Big Shave. The Big Shave is a 1967 six-minute body horror short film directed by Martin Scorsese. It is also known as Viet '67.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Stealth Fighter. This fucking movie is like an STD that you got from a toilet seat at a truckstop bathroom.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Running Man. This movie is like just another in the dytopian 2025 year from hell.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Disco Inferno. It's another short film that had a decent premise, but failed to stick the landing.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Wizard of Oz. This movie is about a girl named Oz and the Wizard that she must hunt down!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard.  This movie is about a character named Hitman who jumps around in space and time to make a film that didn't perform as well as the first one. Have I reviewed the first one or not, I can't remember?

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Forgive Us Our Trespasses. I'm depressed and this short film is slightly underwhelming.   Here's a quick haiku that I wrote recently:  coffee up her ass as Ben Affleck tea-bagged her, Gwyneth Paltrow

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Blue Drum.  This film is a short joint that is fairly effetive for being only 16 minutes long.