Grief- I Love Tim

As May 26—Tim’s first death anniversary—approaches, I’m caught between a hopeful illusion and the reality it won’t change. Believing it means one day of disappointment instead of daily.

There is a whole ecosystem around bereavement, and it’s a mix of genuinely helpful resources, well-meaning but mismatched advice, and sometimes things that feel overly commercialized or even exploitative.Take what resonates, leave the rest. If something feels supportive, keep it. If it feels off, you’re allowed to reject it without guilt.Watch for pressure or promises. Anything that claims to “fix” grief, speed it up, or give a single “right way” is usually a red flag.Monetization isn’t inherently bad—but intent matters. Some paid resources are created with care and integrity; others lean more on vulnerability than value.Your internal response is a good compass. If something feels authentic, grounding, or gently helpful, that’s worth trusting.

Looking back at the last nine months since Tim's passing. Somethings I would do different  and I would not listen as much to others opinions.

Getting through the first holiday season without Tim. Still just fumbling my way through the grief fog.

Poems, Phrases and Sayings that resonate with me. 

The things that I never thought about missing. Realizing the toll grief takes and the little things the hover in your head and heart.

Giving myself permission to sleep, eat and cry on my time table. Thoughts on grief, cortisol and ED and how little is available on the topics. These are all my thoughts and experience and not advice.

How I am doing, looking at the last four months

How the service did not provide any closure, in spite of all the love.

Babbling about where I am in my grief journey and that we all chose unique paths because every person and every relationship is unique.

Thinking about bias in the medical system and Tim's advocacy work.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uPBmfSynDo&list=PLPLXayOtubE0qRo07ZG21L9p2Cwy4O9Zv&index=25

Talking about how great our family and friends have been

As I began my grief journey, I turned to the internet looking for something—anything—that might help. Being a gay man who was married to another man, I found myself searching for voices and stories that reflected my experience. That’s why this podcast will focus on grief through the lens of LGBTQ+ relationships, though anyone who is grieving is welcome to listen, share, or ask to be a guest.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uPBmfSynDo&list=PLPLXayOtubE0qRo07ZG21L9p2Cwy4O9Zv&index=27

https://www.thetimes-tribune.com/obituaries/timothy-patrick-stancellcondron-palm-desert-ca/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uPBmfSynDo&list=PLPLXayOtubE0qRo07ZG21L9p2Cwy4O9Zv&index=25