Grownups Are Lucky

Nothing lasts forever, except for this podcast’s appreciation of all you do to waste your time listening to this podcast.

There are so many advanced products for all of our advanced states of being it is difficult to be sure if we are being the being we ought, might, want to afford to be being.

Oh, like we are supposed to know what anything is about anymore, as if we can just write in here some brief explanation when all the $#!t has gone full on bonkers. Why don’t you tell us what this is about for once. Jesus. Make an effort.

Our brains are our best feature and we are using them to build something to take their place so that we can drool in a corner, or maybe it will all be fine.

We are back with something that feels like it was bent and then stretched and then imprisoned and then released and then mistranslated and then turned into a glass trinket at the shopping mall. Yours to enjoy. Free of charge.

Time is somewhere and wherever it is it is seemingly endless, like our time with the current former current president, endlessly predictable in its suffocating sense of endlessness.

Episode two is totally off the rails. But in our defense there is a nationwide rails shortage. Bonus: This episode includes a free song that will tickle your terror bones.

A new season and an old nemesis. Catch back up with all your favorite characters and learn clever ways to enhance your love life.

Did you ever notice how nobody seemed to notice that nobody was noticing because we were all too busy not noticing?

Take a step into the past, where you were just another hairy kid longing for speech.

We are all alone together.

We were gone for a while, but so were you. This much anticipated installment is a story posing as a rant posing as a story. Also, a new sponsor!

A lot of things happen on an airplane despite nothing actually happening on an airplane.

Time is like an uncomfortable canoe.

The future is whenever.

It’s that time of year. Take care of yourself. Remember that spiritual fulfillment is in none of the places major advertisers are telling you to look. There is nothing under the tree that is going to fill your many voids. But, you do look great in that sweater and your egg nog is, once again, out of sight.

We only have so much time and yet we mostly waste it. This podcast is also a waste of time, but under five minutes, so maybe listen while on the toilet.

An exciting episode that may or may not be an allegory about the creative process.

While we do things we start to think about other things forgetting sometimes that all the time we are absolutely nothing.

Are we robots? Are robots us? Are we us?

Love is mostly feeling fine about mostly not feeling love in the way you mostly thought you might.

There will exist a moment when we will look to something that doesn’t exist to help us figure out if and how to exist.

Let’s take it to the creator and ask for our money back, while also not holding our breath, because, let’s be honest, return policies these days are designed to overwhelm you until you give up. But don’t give up. You’re special. Probably.

Today’s episode is a rebroadcast of a real emotional belch you’re just going to have to deal with. You don’t get to have ups without downs. Sir Isaac Newton probably said that in more high falutin terms. Other people probably said it too. Seems pretty obvious.

There is no point in waiting for everything to be good. Get on the dance floor. Shake it up. Barf a little in your mouth. Life is short.

This week’s episode features sleight of hand, and a special new segment on facial expressions.

Do you ever look in the mirror and think, I feel like I’ve seen that face before?

What is love? What is a story? Why are we here? What comes tomorrow? This latest episode answers none of these questions!

You are what you bring to the table, and you are alone at that table, even if there are other people at that table. They can’t help you, except for maybe being able to pass the salt.

It’s a brand new season of Grownups Are Lucky, which means absolutely nothing, because we just took the stack of story recipes, shuffled them, and then changed the shit up like we were playing drunken Madlibs. And maybe we were. Who are you to judge? You’re the one who can’t find anything better to do than to listen to this crap.

As should come as no surprise, this year’s season finale doesn’t mistletoe the line, when it comes to holiday cheer.

This episode is so stupid you’ll feel great about yourself for not being as stupid as this episode.

Death happens. Life happens. Smells happen. Pets happen. Grownups Are Lucky is back after going away just after falsely claiming it was back. Trust nobody, but also, enjoy!

Holy schitz, we’re back. Just when you were ready to give up on podcasts that were short enough to listen to while folding no more than ten pair of underwear. We’re back, you glorious listener! So enjoy! Because nothing lasts forever.

Companionship can be found. It can be lost. It can be simulated on television.

Trigger warning!: This is about that time you were at that place and you were pretty sure everybody wondered if you were actually invited to be in that place and the whole time you felt like everybody hated you and you still can’t confirm that they didn’t. Enjoy!

It’s all a sad loop. It’s always been like this. Enjoy!

You’d be surprised who people think you look like in another part of the world where people don’t look like you.

The weather waits for no grandma.

This week’s episode includes a bad German accent, unsolicited life advice, and a puzzle!

This week’s story can’t be bothered. If you want this thing in your living room you’re going to have to do the heavy lifting yourself.

When you find yourself asking yourself, “what is the worst that can happen?” the answer is probably lots of terrible things.

All the elves are on furlough, so this is the best we could come up with, and let’s be honest, it’s a disappointment, but you’re used to that by now.

There is a lot of space in space.

Here is a story about a depressing sounding place where a kid is asking questions and his stuffed friends are doing their best to give some sound advice.

A shallow dive into a divided America.

Oh no he didn’t. Oh yes he did.

This one guy walks into a bar.

This is a story about how the author is afraid we’ll all soon be dumb and afraid and nobody will remember how to make electricity.

Dumb stuff blurs along in shapes and sounds you reassemble in your imagination because it’s a gift your brain gave you, and because you’re bored, and secretly anxious and fed up and scared and tired and nearly deceased. Enjoy!