Gumball Love Podcast

What if the invisible work you've been doing your whole life finally had a name? Dr. Alison Alford joins the show to introduce a concept she's spent over a decade researching: daughtering — the emotional labor, mental load, and relational effort women pour into their relationships with their parents, often without recognition or credit. In this conversation, we explore why daughters carry so much guilt despite giving so much, where healthy connection ends and enmeshment begins, and how to stop measuring your worth as a daughter by a checklist of tasks. Dr. Alford also shares how to have honest conversations with siblings, partners, and parents about reshaping these dynamics — without blowing everything up overnight. Whether you live across the country from your parents or down the street, whether you're the eldest or the youngest, this episode will give you language for something you've always felt but couldn't quite name. Dr. Alford's book, Good Daughtering: The Work You've Always Done, the Credit You've Never Gotten, and How to Finally Feel Like Enough, is available now. Follow Dr. Alford: @daughtering101 on Instagram.

Why Does He Flirt With Other Women In Front Of Me? You're sitting right there. And he's lighting up talking to the bartender. Making her laugh. Holding eye contact just a little too long. You feel it in your stomach. But you can't say anything because... what would you even say? "Don't be friendly"? That sounds crazy. Later, he brings up his ex. Again. Or you notice he's still active on the dating apps even though you've been seeing each other for months. Or you're at his friend's party standing there invisible while he charms everyone else. Each moment seems small. Explainable. But together? You feel like you're never quite enough. Like you're always aware of other options. Like you're one of many instead of THE one. And when you finally say something? "You're so insecure. I was just being friendly. My ex never had a problem with this." Now YOU'RE the problem. But what if your reaction isn't the problem? What if it's exactly what he wanted? Sound Familiar? Is this his pattern? Take the QUIZ HERE!  Book a one time FREE CALL with Melissa  Email: [email protected]  Instagram: @MelissaJaneRoberts

Why Do I Feel Like I'm Boring Him? You're mid-sentence and he yawns. Or checks his phone. Or takes a deep breath like he's waiting for you to finish. You send him a thoughtful text and he responds with a meme or changes the subject entirely. Sometimes he's SO engaged - laughing, present, into it. Other times he seems... somewhere else. And you can't stop wondering: Am I boring him? Should I be funnier? More interesting? Less? Here's what's actually happening: You've fallen into the Entertain Me gumball pattern without even realizing it. There are two types of people in relationships: relational and transactional. Gumball Love is what happens when a transactional person treats you like a gumball machine - seeking the reward of your attention rather than valuing your presence. In this episode, we break down the Entertain Me flavor: why you feel like you're constantly auditioning, why you can't just relax and be yourself, and why his engagement feels like your responsibility. You'll learn to recognize the quarters (his disengagement cues) and the gumballs (your performance to bring him back), and most importantly - how to tell if someone can engage with your ordinary presence or only consumes your stimulating performance. If you've ever felt like being with him is work you can't quite name, this episode will change everything. Topics covered: The specific signs of Entertain Me (yawning, phone checking, selective text responses) Why intermittent engagement keeps you hooked The neuroscience of stimulation-seeking vs. bonding capacity How to test: Does he value your presence or just reward your performance? The difference between scared-but-willing and transactionally-locked Take the Gumball Love Quiz HERE:  Book you free call with Melissa HERE: 

He Texts But Makes No Plans:  You had the perfect date. Amazing chemistry. Real connection. Then... he disappears into texting limbo. Good morning texts, funny memes, late-night calls—but never "When can I see you again?" If you've ever felt crazy trying to decode why a guy stays in constant contact but won't make plans, this episode will finally make it all make sense. In this episode, I break down: Why "if he wanted to he would" is incomplete advice that keeps you stuck How texting without plans becomes transactional (quarters and gumballs) Why all that standard advice (play hard to get, mirror his energy, be unbothered) actually makes it worse The neuroscience behind why he stays close but keeps his distance What girlfriend benefits with pen pal effort really means Why this pattern proves he's actually into you—but lacks the capacity to bond The difference between dopamine-driven pursuit and oxytocin-based bonding This isn't about you not being desirable enough. If anything, the real intimacy with you feels so intense that he needs the distance to manage his fear. I'll show you how to spot the Chase Me pattern, why shrinking yourself will never work, and what emotionally available men actually do differently. Stop performing. Stop trying to decode his mixed signals. Start understanding that his confusion is about his capacity, not your worth. Ready to identify your guy's gumball pattern? Take the free quiz at GumballLove.com and book your one-time free coaching call for a personalized analysis. Find Melissa on Instagram: @melissajaneroberts   

Episode Description Have you ever wondered why the sex felt so connected, but then he became a completely different person afterward? You thought you were building something real, but suddenly he's distant, stops texting as much, and you're left confused wondering what you did wrong. In this episode, we're debunking the most common myths about why men pull away after sex - and introducing you to a concept that will change how you see everything: the Arouse Me Gumball Guy. You'll learn why traditional relationship advice keeps you trapped in endless performance mode, and discover the one question that changes everything: "What is HIS capacity?" not "What can I do better?" What You'll Learn Why "he needs space" and "men bond slower" are keeping you stuck in the wrong relationship The real science behind bonding hormones - and why it only applies to emotionally available men What Gumball Love is and how to recognize when you're being treated like a gumball machine The specific prompts he uses to get intimacy benefits without emotional risk (spoiler: he reaches out but never makes plans) Why you can't perform your way into someone's emotional availability Multiple ways to understand his intimacy avoidance (emotional airplane mode, intimacy claustrophobia, and more) How the Arouse Me gumball sets you up for the chase game (next episode!) Resources Mentioned Take the Gumball Love Quiz to identify your personal pattern: www.GumballLove.com Book a one time free coaching call with Melissa  Follow for more content: @MelissaJaneRoberts on Instagram Coming Up Next In the next episode, we're diving into the Chase Me Gumball - and how the shame and vulnerability from sex sets you up perfectly to play his chase game. Subscribe so you don't miss it! About Melissa Melissa Roberts is a relationship coach and creator of the Gumball Love methodology, helping women recognize and break free from toxic relationship patterns. Through her coaching practice, academy, and podcast, she teaches women to shift from "how can I be enough?" to "is he even capable of enough?"

🎙 You've been told to "stay in your feminine," "be magnetic," "lean back." But what if that calm, soft version of you isn't power… it's compression? In this episode, Melissa Roberts peels back what we've been calling "feminine energy" and hints at the quiet exhaustion underneath—the confidence that doesn't breathe. If you've ever felt like you're performing serenity instead of living it, this conversation might change how you see yourself—and the kind of love you attract. Take the quiz → gumballlove.com → Book a free discovery call  → Email Melissa" [email protected]    

  In this episode, Melissa Roberts breaks down the cultural conditioning that trained women to manage men's emotions, lower their expectations, and mistake emotional regulation for emotional connection. From the "Silent Woman" era to the Mars / Venus phenomenon and the rise of pickup-artist culture, Melissa unpacks how each generation inherited the same unspoken rule: make him comfortable, and call that love. You'll learn: Why "understanding him" became code for suppressing yourself. How Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus rewired us to normalize emotional distance, even 20+ years later.  The link between pickup-artist tactics and women's people-pleasing programming. What really happens when you keep "managing his emotions." Melissa's signature clarity and humor turn decades of pop-psychology into a clear map of how we got here—and how to get out. Is he a Gumball Guy? Take the quiz! www.Gumballlove.com:  Book a free one time coaching call here: Instagram: @melissajaneroberts  Email Melissa:  [email protected]   

Why are smart, self-aware women still getting tangled with emotionally unavailable men? In this episode, Melissa Roberts stands in the lip-gloss aisle at Duane Reade having a full-blown "aha" moment with AI (Viv) — and it leads to one of the most powerful breakdowns of modern dating culture you'll ever hear. Melissa traces the roots of today's dating chaos all the way back to the 1950s "Happy Housewife" era, through Cosmo magazine's advice columns, talk-show therapy culture, and the '90s mega-seller Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. She reveals how generations of women were conditioned to regulate men's emotions and call it love — and how that conditioning still drives today's dating apps, "feminine energy" coaching, and confusion about what real intimacy looks like. You'll learn: Why the Mars / Venus movement quietly taught women to perform emotional caretaking. How fake credentials and pop psychology rewired our expectations of men. Why attention isn't intimacy — and how Gumball Love explains the cycle that keeps you hooked. The first step to deprogramming the "good girl who manages him" instinct. This isn't about bashing men — it's about finally seeing the system that made everyone so stuck. By the end, you'll understand why you're not crazy, not too much, and not broken  you're just waking up. Is he a Gumball Guy? Take the quiz! www.Gumballlove.com:  Book a one time coaching call here: Instagram: @melissajaneroberts 

🎙️ The Fantasy Bubble Paradox Why can't you stop thinking about him — the guy who gives you just enough to keep you hooked but never enough to move forward? Why do you replay the texts, the almosts, the "maybe this time" moments? In this episode, Melissa breaks down what's really happening when you fall for potential instead of reality — and why your brain turns red flags into love stories. This is the Fantasy Bubble Paradox: when your hope feeds his dopamine and his inconsistency keeps you addicted to the fantasy. You'll learn: 💭 Why fantasy feels like chemistry (and why it's not) ⚡ How the dopamine–hope loop keeps you chasing the unavailable 🎬 The "Hollywood programming" that taught you chaos equals connection 🧠 How to spot when your brain is writing a story instead of reading reality If you've ever asked yourself, "Why can't I stop thinking about him even though I know better?" — this one will hit home. Melissa pulls back the curtain on the subconscious pattern running your love life, reveals how the "quarter and gumball" dynamic keeps you stuck, and shows you how to finally burst the fantasy bubble — so you can stop waiting for the story and start living the love that's real. 🔗 Take the Quiz! Take the Gumball Love Quiz to find out what flavor of attention you've been giving away — and start rewriting your story today. 👉 Book your one time free call with Melissa 

  🎙 Why Playing Hard to Get Keeps You Stuck The Gumball Love Podcast with Melissa Roberts is where successful, ambitious women finally decode the mystery of why love feels so complicated. Melissa — relationship scientist, life coach, and creator of the Gumball Love Method — pulls back the curtain on patterns that keep you stuck with the wrong guys, in the wrong cycles, and questioning your worth. Through raw stories, neuroscience, and practical coaching, you'll learn how to spot transactional relationships, escape the dopamine-hope loop, and open the door to authentic love. If you've ever wondered why the guys who come on strong end up pulling away, this is your place to get clarity, courage, and a whole new lens on love. 📌 Show Notes – Episode: The Hard-to-Get Illusion Episode summary: We've all been told the same rules: don't text first, wait three days, match his energy, be mysterious. But what if the very strategies designed to "win" his attention are the reason love keeps slipping away? In this episode, Melissa breaks down how decades of dating advice — from The Rules to The Game — conditioned women (and men) to perform scarcity instead of connection. You'll hear how the "hard-to-get" script fuels the Gumball transaction: the craving, the quarter, the gumball, the fade, and the crash. What you'll learn in this episode: The cultural origins of "play hard to get" and why it's still everywhere in dating advice today How performing scarcity creates craving but never stability The dopamine-driven loop of quarter → gumball → fade → crash Why attention ≠ capacity — and how to tell the difference The ache of living in strategy mode: exhausted, unseen, and still alone Why other coaches teach you to play the game better, but Gumball Love shows you the game itself Resources & Next Steps: 🎯 Take the free quiz: gumballlove.com 💬 Book a one-time clarity call with Melissa ✉️ Email Melissa directly at [email protected] with questions or topic requests    

  🎙 Why Gumball Love? Start here:   The Gumball Love Podcast with Melissa Roberts is where successful, ambitious women finally decode the mystery of why love feels so complicated. Melissa — relationship scientist, life coach, and creator of the Gumball Love Method — pulls back the curtain on patterns that keep you stuck with the wrong guys, stuck in the wrong cycles, and stuck questioning your worth. Through raw stories, neuroscience, and practical coaching, you'll learn how to spot transactional relationships, escape the dopamine-hope loop, and open the door to authentic love. If you've ever wondered why the guys who come on strong end up pulling away, this is your place to get clarity, courage, and a whole new lens on love. 📌 Show Notes – Episode: Start Here – The Gumball Love Origin Story Episode summary: If you're new (or returning) to Gumball Love, this is your must-listen starting point. Melissa shares her personal backstory — the high-achieving "junior high boss babe" who could crush it in business but always felt confused and insecure in romance. She walks through the frustrations of books, therapy, and endless "tips and tricks" that never solved the problem, and introduces the metaphor that changed everything: the Gumball. What you'll learn in this episode: Why successful women feel "too much" in dating yet "not enough" in love The turning point story behind the gumball metaphor: quarter in, gumball out The five-step cycle of dopamine, craving, and crash that keeps relationships stuck Examples of common gumball dynamics (Arouse Me, Chase Me) and why they feel like love at first The "fantasy bubble paradox" — how hope and chemistry create illusions that blind you to red flags Why you're not broken, cursed, or doomed… you've just been in a pattern you couldn't name until now Resources & Next Steps: 🎯 Take the free quiz: gumballlove.com 💬 Book a free one-time clarity call with Melissa  ✉️ Email Melissa directly at [email protected] with questions or topic requests Key timestamps: 00:00 – Melissa's backstory: finance success, relationship struggles 20:00 – The gumball metaphor explained 25:00 – The five-step transactional cycle 33:00 – The "Chase Me" flavor breakdown 39:00 – The Fantasy Bubble Paradox 45:00 – The quiz and your next steps  

Welcome to the first episode of the new season of The Gumball Love Podcast! If you've ever looked around at your life and thought, "Why is love the one thing I can't figure out?" — this episode is for you. I know what it's like to feel successful in every other area, but still be single, overthinking every text, or stuck in situationships you can't talk about. I know the shame of wondering if something is wrong with you, while everyone else seems to move forward with engagements, weddings, and babies. In this episode, I'm sharing: My personal story of years of dating, breakups, and therapy before meeting my husband. The hidden shame high-achieving women carry when love isn't working. Why love feels amazing one minute and "off" the next — and what's actually happening in those patterns. The truth: You are not broken. You're not too much. You're not behind. You've just been caught in a loop no one taught you to see. Why there's still so much hope for your love story, no matter how late you think it is. This episode sets the foundation for everything we'll cover going forward — from cultural myths to dating apps to the emotional patterns that keep smart women stuck. ✨ Because real intimacy doesn't feel like waiting. It feels safe. And you deserve that. 📌 Links & Next Steps 👉 Take the Gumball Love Quiz to start spotting patterns in your story. 👉 Follow me on Instagram @melissajaneroberts for daily insights. 👉 Share this episode with a friend who needs the reminder: she's not broken either. 👉Book a Free coaching call with Melissa HERE: 

I am so excited to be back, and I have so much to share.  This podcast is like a phone call between you and me. I tell you what happened, why I stopped podcasting, why I did not want to share my relationship online.  I also have a huge announcement and introducing a project I've been working on for a long time.  It is FREE:  Listen to the podcast and then come back and click the links below!    The Gumball Love ROMANTIC QUIZ: https://gumballlove.outgrow.us/romantic The Gumball Love NON-ROMANTIC QUIZ:  https://gumballlove.outgrow.us/non-romantic-v3 Website:  www.GumballLove.com  Email Melissa: [email protected]  Instagram: @melissajaneroberts Private Facebook Group:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/GumballLovePrivateVIPClubHouse

Are you nervous to take that step to TRULY be single, totally off the dating apps, and just focus on getting to know and love yourself? My past client Brittany is the perfect example of why doing this is SO important.  Tune in to find out how Brittany went from having no idea who she was, to being secure and confident in herself, plus happily married with two kids! We discuss what drew Brittany to working with me, what things she did during her break from dating, how she knew her husband was the one, advice to offer anyone in a similar position, the different benefits of therapy vs. coaching, and more! Work with Melissa Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @melissajaneroberts

Courtney was a single mom with two kids, divorced for six years, single for five, who was successful in all other areas of her life like friendships, career, and health...but her love life suffered. Until she met her boyfriend, but he'd never had kids before. Does it work out? Tune in to find out! Courtney worked with me a few years ago doing one-on-one and group coaching. We chatted to see what she learned through that process, and where she's at now. We discuss: What was going on in her life when she decided to work with me How she struggled with self confidence and being triggered after the trauma of her divorce What was different about her new love, Michael How the struggles of her past relationships taught her lessons moving forward How and when she decided to introduce Michael to her 12 and 10 year old kids Michael didn't have kids..was he understanding about her situation? and more! Work with Melissa Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @melissajaneroberts

Coaching results, 4 years later! Kristy didn't want to get a coach. She said, "I'm smart, I am successful, I should be able to figure this out." When her best friend told her, "We can't keep having this conversation, you need to talk to someone" It was a sign. Kristy is a total badass, finance guru (paid off over $400K in debt in 18 months), and single mom of her gorgeous teenage daughter. We sat down to talk about "Where are things now? and Do the results last?" We also discuss: What was the breaking point when she knew it was time to leave her marriage even though she had a one and a half year old daughter with him How she decided it was finally time to invest in a coach What benefits she got from coaching What she would say to someone considering coaching but on the fence How her life is now, four years later Work with Kristy: www.simplesuccessfinance.com Work with Melissa Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @melissajaneroberts

Like many women approaching their 40's and still single, Lauren was feeling anxious, lonely, and grieving the fact that she may never get married or have kids. She was stuck in a pattern of dating the same time of guy over and over, always ending up with a broken heart...all while grieving the loss of her father. Until she decided to commit to herself and give herself a year off from dating to focus solely on herself. That's when she started to truly see her worth and value, and now she is in a happy, healthy relationship! Tune in to hear: How Lauren found out about Gumball Love and what made her decide it was time to stop the cycle and work with Melissa The moment Lauren knew it was time for a change The type of Gumball Guy Lauren was going after What Lauren did during her year long break from dating to discover herself and her worth How her relationship now is different from in the past (healthy vs. Gumball Love) What advice Lauren would give to someone struggling to find love and dating later in life How one-on-one coaching and group coaching with Melissa helped Lauren and more! Work with Melissa Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @melissajaneroberts

I am officially Mrs. Melissa Roberts!! After 20 years of searching for the right one and the trials and tribulations of dating many WRONG ones, I'm so proud to be a first time bride at 45. So many of you were asking for the wedding details, so here they are! But if you're in a place where it's too painful or sad to hear about someone else's wedding, I TOTALLY get it because I was the same way, so don't press play if you think it'll put you in a bad mood.  It's not just about the wedding though, I also talk about: How to know if he's the right one A successful client case study What it's like to work with me in the 1-1 Level Up for Love program and group coaching Other exciting announcements about where I'm going next with Gumball Love! You also get exclusive access to taking the beta version of the Gumball Love quiz, which will only be released for purchase once it's live! Take it now here! Work with Melissa Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:   Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @melissajaneroberts

Are you struggling with self worth, self love, and confidence? Christina Lecuyer was a beautiful professional golfer who seemed to have everything going for her..looks, fame, money, a relationship..but behind closed doors she was struggling far more than anyone knew. By DECIDING to be happier, she turned her life around, and you can too! Christina shares helpful strategies for anyone wanting to up-level their mindset, confidence and life. Today we discuss: How Christina went from professional golfer, hiding an eating disorder, to loving herself and creating an abundant life The falsity of "I'll be happy when.. X happens" What she did in the very beginning to start growing confidence Christina's top tips for growing self confidence Christina's secret to her happy, successful marriage and more! Connect with Christina: Instagram: @bechristina Website Podcast: Decide It's Your Turn Work with Melissa Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger  

The right thing to do is often the harder thing to do. I'm celebrating a client this week who decided it's time to choose herself and stop settling. I know making this kind of decision often doesn't feel like celebrating though. There is a lot of grief and heartbreak when letting go of someone you bonded with, and even loved. Today I'm talking about why the grief and tears make you stronger. Work with Melissa Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

You've likely heard of the three attachment styles: secure, anxious, and avoidant, but we don't hear enough about the fourth: Ambivalent Attachment. If your guy seems really intense in the beginning, pursuing you, showering you with love and gifts, but then can turn cold on a time or seems really needy, but like whatever you give him is never enough...he likely has ambivalent attachment style.  Tune in to learn: What ambivalent attachment style is and what causes it Examples and red flags of this attachment style Why you might fall for someone with this attachment style Your own work you need to do   Work with Melissa Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

A lot of coaches out there will tell you feeling butterflies around a new guy is a bad sign, because it means your nervous system is recognizing danger. This just isn't totally true, butterflies CAN actually be a good thing, as long as they're not overtaking your ability to spot the potential red flags. In this episode, I'm breaking down: What the sensation of butterflies actually is from a physiological perspective Why, from a physiological perspective, butterflies aren't always a bad thing My personal experience with butterflies and how it's gone both good and bad When feeling butterflies becomes a bad thing How you can distinguish between when the butterflies are a warning sign vs. just excitement   Feeling uncomfortable on dates, like you have to perform, be someone you're not, anxious wondering what he's thinking of you? I help my clients feel totally confident in their skin on dates, and to know how to spot the red flags. You don't have to be currently dating to work with me, in fact, it's great if you're not currently dating! Work with Melissa Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

This episode was inspired by a listener who messaged me about her situation. She says the guy is not a Gumball Guy, he's nice and he loves her, but there's other issues...she noticed he has anxious attachment style and has been unwilling to get the help he needs, their core values are misaligned, and their levels of motivation and work ethic are different.  She's wondering if it's worth it to stick with him, or if he's not the one. I share in this episode what questions to ask yourself to know if you should continue dating someone, even if they're not a Gumball Guy, or if it's best to move on. If you're stuck in this situation, I can help! Work with Melissa Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Are you dating with a sense of urgency and a timeline?  If you ask any happily married couple if they had a sense of urgency to find the one when they met each other, most of them will probably say no. When you're dating with this mentality, it's like you're starving, and so ANYTHING to eat looks good. It clouds your judgement, and you'll either miss the red flags or rationalize them to keep things moving along. In this episode, we reverse-engineer dating by looking at what causes divorces, and what happy marriages have in common, so you can know what to look for and what to avoid. If you're having trouble moving out of that "urgency" mentality, especially if you're dating after 30, I can help! Work with Melissa Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Not attracting the quality men you're looking for on the dating sites? In this episode, I give you my proven top tips for improving your online dating profile and the first couple interactions to collapse your timeline and find your high-quality man faster.  We talk about: How to make sure your profile isn't generic and stands out from the crowd while staying true to who you are Red flags to look out for in the initial text messages with a guy so you can filter through the duds faster and save loads of time How soon you should move away from texting and move to phone/video call or in-person meet up How to grow your self-worth so you no longer settle for Gumball Guys Work with Melissa Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

This episode might sting a little to hear but I'm gonna be that SUPER honest friend right now who just tells it to you straight...here are the things you might be doing that could be a major turn off for people. Do you have bad breath? Bad body odor? Crooked teeth? What kinds of things do you talk about on a date...do you complain, or gossip? These are just a few of the things. Tune in to hear the full list! Work with Melissa Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Fresh out of a break up? Even if you're months or even years out and still not over your ex, here are my top 34 things to do to get over a break up (non of which include binge drinking or drowning your sorrows in ice cream!) These are healthy, productive methods that actually work to help you move on. Work with Melissa Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Are you killing it at your professional live, but struggling to find the man of your dreams? Most clients who come to me are much more confident and comfortable walking in to a board room than walking in to a first date, so if that's you, you're not alone! In this episode, I give you the top reasons my clients were struggling to connect with high-quality men, and how I help them stop the cycle of toxic love, discover their worth, and find true love. Work with Melissa If you're done dating man babies and ready to find a lasting, true connection, I can help you! Here's how: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, 10 coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

For those of you who geeked out on the Netflix show Love is Blind (season 2), this episode is for you! Yes, it's reality TV which doesn't have the best rep for being...well...real...but we can actually learn A LOT from observing these singles and couples.  In this episode I give my personal analysis of the individuals in the cast, as well as their relationships. Like, why did Nick and Danielle appear so toxic in the dating stages and they ended up being one of the only couples to actually make it even a year later? I fan girl over Deepti and Natalie and what we can learn from both of them as single women. We discuss why Shane is a Gumball Guy (if you couldn't tell already), and why Mallory and Sal appeared like such a cute couple but it didn't work. If you've gained value from this podcast, please share this episode on your social media, and leave a rate and review with what you've learned from this podcast so that more people can find it. Thank you! Work with Melissa Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

In this episode we're talking about why you're in the cycle of rejection and pain, why that pain of rejection is so great, and how to stop the cycle. If you continue to find yourself meeting guys who seem great in the beginning, and then with no explanation they disappear or they turn out to be not who you thought they were, and then you're stuck in what appears to be a never-ending funk of sadness and anxiety about what the future holds for you, this one is for you! It is all a simple mindset shift that you can start implementing today to immediately feel content about your present moment, no matter the circumstances. Work with Melissa Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

I'M ENGAGED!! I know how it can kinda stink to hear these engagement stories when you're still single, trust me I was there for a long time. I'm sharing this story with you because I KNOW it's possible for you.  Whether you're single, dating or in a committed relationship, this episode is meant to help you understand what it feels like (for me, and I know for many others) to know for sure that this is the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. I'll also give you the behind the scenes story of how Iain proposed! Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? There are currently two ways to work with me: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions  Work with Melissa Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

He's constantly on your mind...the one in your past who you wonder if he's grown up at all. You day dream about what it would be like to reconnect with him, and if things would be different this time. Should you reach out? Maybe he already reached out and you're wondering if you should revisit the relationship. In this episode, I'm sharing my personal experience with this exact scenario and what you can do to make this decision. Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? There are currently two ways to work with me: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions  Work with Melissa Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Do you ever feel like you're too much, and at the same time, not enough for a guy? If you've ever wondered..."Should I tone it down"? Should I not bring this Michael Kors purse to the date? Maybe I shouldn't wear these heels, I'm too tall..." Girl, this episode is for YOU! The right guy for you will NOT make you second guess, question and doubt yourself. Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? There are currently two ways to work with me: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions Work with Melissa Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

We all love to watch the fantasies and the happily ever afters..but what about the reality that over 50% of marriages end in divorce? Most people know this fact, but have you ever stopped to investigate what actually led to women deciding to divorce?  We're over here thinking single life is terrible and just wanting what those married couples (seem) to have, but then why do so many women choose to divorce or wish they could? They're fantasizing about the single life! In this episode we get in to WHY so many marriages end in divorce. And here's a little spoiler, it's typically not marriage itself that leads to divorce..often it was doomed from the very beginning, long before the "I do's".  Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? There are currently two ways to work with me: The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or, The Elite VIP Group Coaching Masterclass sessions Resources Mentioned in this episode: Tanya Zuckerbrot on the Skinny Confidential Podcast Happy Even After with Renee Bauer Mom's Moving On: Navigating Divorce, Single Motherhood & Co-Parenting Work with Melissa Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

My love said it best, "If you've got unresolved trauma, you can't be intimate with yourself. And when you can't be intimate with yourself, you can't be intimate with someone else." A lot of people are walking around with unresolved trauma and expecting to find "the One" who will turn their whole life around.  Most people haven't done "the work" to truly heal, and are bringing a lot of baggage in to the relationship that prevents them from being able to connect deeply with someone else. If you suspect this is you, you'll wanna tune in to this episode. Work with Melissa Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

In this episode, I want to share with you all the things I did to level up my life that I believe prepared me for the love I'm experiencing now.  And I'll let you in on a secret..it has nothing to do with dating, or having the right pictures and words on your profile to attract the right person..it all has to do with going back to YOU and curating your ideal life. Not only did this help prepare me for this relationship, but it also helped me to not lose myself in this relationship.  This is a problem I had in the past, and a theme I see with my clients...losing yourself so much in a relationship that it's so difficult to break out of because you don't know who you are without this person. So tune in for some awesome, practical tips you can start incorporating right away into your life in order to be grounded in who you are and prepare you to meet the love of your life! Work with Melissa Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

We're bringing back my love Iain Roberts for another episode to give his perspective on Gumball Love, and how so many of us became attracted to Gumball People. When we think about our childhoods and the books we read, the movies we watched, the characters we idolized...a lot of these fantasies weren't very healthy expectations. These expectations are what keeps us in an endless cycle, but we're so IN it that we can't always objectively see the behavior patterns. That's what the Gumball Love Assessment and "Level Up for Love" coaching package is for! We talk all about the assessment and coaching package in this episode as well and exactly what to expect and how it can help you.

On this episode we bring on Khyara, a listener of the podcast, for a LIVE hot seat coaching session🔥🔥 Khyara was dating a guy for a month and a half and things were going well, there was a lot of sexual chemistry, until things started feeling..off. At a time when Khyara really emotionally needed him, he dropped the ball. Plus, he stopped prioritizing time for them to hang out. Tune in as Melissa and Khyara break down what happened using Khyara's quiz results to see which flavors of attention this guy craved. If you've been wondering what a coaching session is like, here's your chance to get a taste! Work with Melissa Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

FINALLY! It's here..the moment you've all been waiting for..I am introducing my love, Iain on to the show to share our story and how he has been and will continue to be helping out with Gumball Love moving forward! We get into... How he almost lost me because he cancelled our first date to MC a chicken wing eating contest... What our first two dates were like, how we were both feeling, and why we didn't end up meeting again for another 5 years How we ended up finally getting re-connected 5 years later and fell in love without even being able to see each other in person during the pandemic What Iain's thoughts on Gumball Love were then and now How Iain will continue to be involved in Gumball Love It's a longer episode than usual but I really wanted you to get a sense of our dynamic. NOT that every healthy couple dynamic will look and sound exactly like ours, this is just one example.  If you have any topics or questions you'd like us to cover together on the podcast, please email us at [email protected] . Work with Melissa Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Wondering how to tell the difference between anxiety, your gut instinct, and anxious attachment style? This episode is for you! Often times our gut instinct is SPOT ON...telling us to GTFO of a sketchy situation or to not go on the date with that guy. But sometimes, our anxiety or anxious attachment style overruns our instincts.  In this episode, we'll cover: What is anxious attachment style and how to know if you have it How to tell the difference between anxiety, anxious attachment style and gut instinct How to self soothe when your anxieties are taking over Positive signs to look for if you're in a relationship with a guy that mean you (probably) have nothing to worry about Work with Melissa Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

You come across a profile online...he's so cute, his dog is cute, you share the same hobbies and interests, you're hitting it off in the DM's, next thing you know you're fantasizing about your wedding and how you'll become bffs with his sister and wondering if you'll have Thanksgiving with his family or yours. Like WOAH that went from 0-100 real quick😂  This episode is to remind you to PUMP THE BREAKS girl.  Otherwise, you end up building up this whole fantasy in your head, putting him on a pedestal, and then miss out on the red flags that are in reality.  Tune in to this episode of Gumball Love to learn how to shift your mindset BEFORE you go on the date and get out of "fantasy land".  Work with Melissa Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

What the heck is going on with ghosting?! It's becoming more and more common with my coaching clients so I wanted to address my view on what's really going on behind the scenes when he ghosts. Hint: It has nothing to do with you. You had a great time with him, he's what you wanted, and now he's not texting back at all, or he's coming back every now and again lukewarm. What gives?! In this episode I'm bringing in my own perspective based on my personal experience and the experiences of hundreds of other women I've coached, plus the perspective of a few psychologists to really get the full picture. A quick favor?:) I'm looking to hear feedback on the podcast- what you want more of, what you want less of, I'd love to know! Shoot me a message on IG or leave a review in Apple Podcasts. Thank you! Work with Melissa Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Do you feel like lacking confidence in your body is holding you back from having success in dating?  Today I chat with Coach Ali, who was literally MADE to empower women in body confidence and self love. Alexandra Sempek, commonly referred to as "Coach Ali", is an internationally certified health coach. She empowers women who struggle with food guilt and negative body image to reclaim their true confidence. Within her private coaching program, Alpha Alignment, Coach Ali changes the narrative with her wellness over obsession approach to health and fitness.⁣ We chat all about her personal journey struggling with obsessive food tracking and dieting since middle school, and how she works with women to fall in love with their bodies AND reach their health and fitness goals. Work with Coach Ali Website: https://www.coach-ali.com/ Instagram: @askcoachali Work with Melissa Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

It can be so exciting when the ex or that guy you were talking to comes back around, saying how he's been thinking of you and missing you.  But as soon as you start talking about yourself and what's new in your life, he's bored. Or he starts talking about this other girl he's talking to, or all these problems in his life. As much as he said he's changed, these are very clear signals that things are still the same. In this episode, I talk about exactly what to look out for to see if this guy has really changed or if it's the same old Gumball Guy, and exactly what to say to get rid of him for good. Work with Melissa Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger  

In this episode, we're diving deep into some questions you guys asked me on Instagram. I'm sharing my take on open relationships and polygamy, can exes be friends, and what to do about dating burn out. Work with Melissa Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

This is the episode for you if you're sick of waiting around for the guy to text you back, or to actually take initiative and ask you out, but you're hesitant to actually cut him loose. This episode is inspired by one of the girls in the community who DMed me a revelation she had where she finally raised her standards and stopped settling. Now, she feels liberated in dating. This episode is designed to show you what your dating life and relationships can look like when you raise your standards and draw those boundaries! Work with Melissa Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

I used to put up with all the red flags. I'd let things slide because I didn't have the belief that I'd ever actually find a guy...since I'm tall, opinionated and financially successful.  This scarcity mindset hugely backfired! It kept me stuck in the cycle of dating Gumball Guys for years. The ironic thing is, all the things about myself that I was trying to hide, are the things my partner now loves the most. This episode is to give you rapid fire the top things to look out for to know if you're dating or talking to a Gumball Guy, and to also remind you how important it is to BELIEVE. Believe that you are worthy, believe that there IS the perfect guy out there for you, and that you don't have to settle. We also have a brand new workbook available to give you the full breakdown of all the different flavors of Gumball Guys and the red flags to look out for. Get it on the first page at gumballlove.com! Work with Melissa Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Teenagers these days face unprecedented challenges when it comes to dating and relationships. No other generation before them was raised in the world of social media (and now, social distancing). With "we're just hanging out" and other no-labeling strangeness normalized, it can be hard to know if this guy you've been texting is really into YOU or just using you.  In this episode, I'm breaking down how teens specifically can notice the patterns of Gumball Guys so they can break out of the cycle and save themselves a lot of hurt and heartbreak in the future. So if you are a teenager, or you have one in your life who needs to hear this, please listen and share! Work with Melissa Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

You have to stop shaming and judging yourself for staying with the wrong guy, even though you see the red flags now. Period! In this episode we answer the question...why do we feel so dumb for staying with a Gumball Guy or having done so in the past? You are NOT dumb, and it doesn't help you in any way to think so. This episode will give you the mindset makeover you need to break out of the blame and shame game, and get on the path towards healing. Work with Melissa Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger

Kristina Persson is a Dating & Relationship Coach who specializes in helping millennial women manifest happy relationships, WITHOUT having to spend hours on dating apps. On the Gumball Love Podcast, Kristina and Melissa chat about what they often see millennial women doing wrong in dating that is keeping them from finding true, lasting love. They discuss masculine and feminine energy and how it plays a role in dating, why the thought "I don't need a man, I'm an independent woman" is actually not so healthy, how to balance being a sensual woman with holding off on sex in the beginning stages of dating, and more. Connect with Kristina 22K Followers on Tik Tok: @cantgetatextback Instagram: @cantgetatextback Dream Girl Dating Academy Waitlist: https://colossal-hustler-8039.ck.page/79ecb0381f Manifest Your Dream Guy ASAP Free workbook: https://colossal-hustler-8039.ck.page/73eab0babf  Work with Melissa Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504 Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger