HEALTHY FAMILY CONNECTIONS

In this eye-opening episode, we dive into a common parenting dilemma: what happens when therapy for your teen backfires? We explore the story of Mom and her 15-year-old daughter, Olive, whose rebellious behavior leads them to counseling. While the therapist aims to help by advising Mom to loosen her control and give Olive more independence, things take an unexpected turn. Olive's behavior spirals, and Mom is left questioning the advice she trusted. We unpack the therapist's mistake—failing to address the deeper "Control Battle" between Mom's overinvolvement and Olive's avoidance of responsibility. Tune in to learn why simply telling parents to "back off" can undermine family dynamics and discover how therapy can better support teens and parents in fostering true independence. A must-listen for parents navigating the challenges of raising teenagers!

In this heartfelt episode of our podcast, we dive into a challenging yet vital topic: co-parenting with an abusive partner. Listener Sharon, a devoted mom of two boys, shares her courageous journey of leaving an abusive relationship and navigating the complexities of shared custody. Facing her ex's harmful behaviors and refusal to communicate, Sharon seeks advice on helping her sons recognize their father's dysfunctional actions while fostering healthy boundaries. Join Neil as he offers compassionate, practical guidance to empower Sharon and her children, providing insights that resonate with anyone facing similar struggles. Tune in for a powerful discussion on resilience, healing, and creating a safe, supportive home.   For more parenting resources, including an online parenting course, visit neildbrown.com

Struggling to guide your teen back to a healthy path? In this episode of Healthy Family Connections, host Neil D. Brown, LCSW, tackles parental blind spots that sabotage change in families. Discover why even motivated parents miss key strategies from books like Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle and learn actionable solutions to overcome control battles, power struggles, and counterproductive patterns. Neil shares three critical reasons change feels impossible and introduces his online parenting course to empower you with bite-sized, systemic tools for lasting transformation. Perfect for parents of all teens, including neurodiverse, anxious, or underperforming teens. Subscribe for weekly insights on family therapy, teen mental health, and gentle parenting at neildbrown.com/newsletter-signup Visit neildbrown.com for more information including free parenting articles, assessments, and resources. 

Is your teenager under functioning because of anxiety, depression, ADHD, hyper-sensitivity, oppositional behavior, learning differences or other neural differences? We'll talk about what to do about this in today's podcast, How to Create Real Change with your Teenager. *** Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit 📘 Buy the book: https://neildbrown.com/books 👉 Take the online course: https://neildbrown.com/parent-teen-control-battle-course 📬 Sign up for my weekly newsletter: https://neildbrown.us10.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=1aa1e2714f7e78988c614a28a&id=3a810a3070 Get started and take the first step toward a thriving family life. ✨ Visit https://neildbrown.com for more resources including free assessments, guides, and plenty of content on parenting teenagers.    

In this episode, Neil responds to a mom wanting to know how to support her adult daughter who is in an emotionally abusive marriage. *** Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit 📘 Buy the book: https://neildbrown.com/books 👉 Take the online course: https://neildbrown.com/parent-teen-control-battle-course 📬 Sign up for my weekly newsletter: https://neildbrown.us10.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=1aa1e2714f7e78988c614a28a&id=3a810a3070 Get started and take the first step toward a thriving family life. ✨ Visit https://neildbrown.com for more resources including free assessments, guides, and plenty of content on parenting teenagers.  

In this episode, Neil responds to a mom struggling to get her husband to parent without blame and anger. After offering some context, Neil demonstrates a letter writing technique that can jumpstart the process of change. *** Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit 📘 Buy the book: https://neildbrown.com/books 👉 Take the online course: https://neildbrown.com/parent-teen-control-battle-course 📬 Sign up for my weekly newsletter: https://neildbrown.us10.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=1aa1e2714f7e78988c614a28a&id=3a810a3070 Get started and take the first step toward a thriving family life. ✨ Visit https://neildbrown.com for more resources including free assessments, guides, and plenty of content on parenting teenagers.

In this episode, Neil responds to a Mom struggling with what went wrong and what to do now that her daughter has moved out and is living with her grandmother. *** Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit 📘 Buy the book: https://neildbrown.com/books 👉 Take the online course: https://neildbrown.com/parent-teen-control-battle-course 📬 Sign up for my weekly newsletter: https://neildbrown.us10.list-manage.c... Get started and take the first step toward a thriving family life. ✨ Visit https://neildbrown.com for more resources including free assessments, guides, and plenty of content on parenting teenagers.

In this episode, Neil follows last week's podcast where he responds to parents struggling with their young teenager's lack of impulse control. In this episode, Neil offers a second way to help their teenager improve and he demonstrates how to go about it. *** Hi, I'm Neil D. Brown, psychotherapist, author, and podcaster. I've evolved a model for parents of teenagers with behavior issues. Learn more about my online course and book titled Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle. 👉 Take the online course: neildbrown.com/parent-teen-control-battle-course 📘 Buy the book: neildbrown.com/books 📬 Sign up for my weekly Healthy Family Connections newsletter: bit.ly/4iVo3Na Get started and take the first step toward a thriving family life. ✨      

In this episode, Neil responds to parents struggling with their young teenager's lack of impulse control. Neil offers a positive way to help their teenager improve and demonstrates how to go about it. This is the first of 2 podcasts on this topic. *** Hi, I'm Neil D. Brown, psychotherapist, author, and podcaster. I've evolved a model for parents of teenagers with behavior issues. Learn more about my online course and book titled Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle. 👉 Take the online course: neildbrown.com/parent-teen-control-battle-course 📘 Buy the book: neildbrown.com/books 📬 Sign up for my weekly Healthy Family Connections newsletter: bit.ly/4iVo3Na Get started and take the first step toward a thriving family life. ✨

Do you find yourself in a cycle of giving and taking away privileges to get your teenager to simply do their work? These parents do and Neil helps them understand how to use the shift from giving kids Consequences to giving them Earned Privileges, why it works and how to apply it in real life.  We talk about that and a whole lot more on this week's podcast, Getting Earned Privileges Right.  ***  Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: https://neildbrown.com/podcasts    📘 Buy the book:https://neildbrown.com/books  👉 Take the online course: https://neildbrown.com/parent-teen-control-battle-course  📬 Sign up for my weekly newsletter: https://neildbrown.us10.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=1aa1e2714f7e78988c614a28a&id=3a810a3070    Get started and take the first step toward a thriving family life. ✨  Visit https://neildbrown.com for more resources including free assessments, guides, and plenty of content on parenting teenagers and young adults.

In this podcast Neil responds to a mother struggling to get her young adult daughter who suffers from OCD moving. This mom wants to know if she's cruel for wanting her daughter to challenge herself more. Neil offers this parent a way to communicate with her daughter and end the stalemate in their relationship. Hi, I'm Neil D. Brown, psychotherapist, author, and podcaster. I've evolved a model for parents of teenagers with behavior issues. Learn more about my online course and book titled Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle. 👉 Take the online course: neildbrown.com/parent-teen-control-battle-course 📘 Buy the book: neildbrown.com/books 📬 Sign up for my weekly Healthy Family Connections newsletter: bit.ly/4iVo3Na Get started and take the first step toward a thriving family life. 

In this episode Neil responds to parents who are losing control of their ADHD 15 year old son. Neil highlights the problem of parents doing all the work to help their son succeed, while their son is putting his effort into resistance. Neil explains the critical function in adolescence of youth taking onus for their responsibilities and offers these parents a surprising strategy to shift motivation for responsibilities from them to their son. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit More resources from Neil  📘 Buy the book: https://neildbrown.com/books 👉 Take the online course: https://neildbrown.com/parent-teen-co... 📬 Sign up for my weekly newsletter: https://bit.ly/4iVo3Na Get started and take the first step toward a thriving family life. ✨ Visit https://neildbrown.com for more resources including free assessments, guides, and plenty of content on parenting teenagers.  

In this episode Neil responds to a dad who explains that his wife and daughter fight constantly. His question is whether it's better to push their 14 year old daughter to do better and participate in activities as his wife promotes, or to allow their daughter to make her own decisions as long as she's doing well enough as he favors. Listen to Neil's surprise answer in this relaunch of the Healthy Family Connections Podcast. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit 📘 Buy the book: https://neildbrown.com/books 👉 Take the online course: https://neildbrown.com/parent-teen-control-battle-course  📬 Sign up for my weekly newsletter: https://bit.ly/4iVo3Na  Get started and take the first step toward a thriving family life.  Visit https://neildbrown.com for more resources including free assessments, guides, and plenty of content on parenting teenagers.  

In this podcast, Neil takes issue with National Columnist Amy Dickinson's advice to a mother whose daughter is intentionally screwing up her chores to get her mother to quit assigning them to her. Neil explains how ramping up consequences can unwittingly only support a Control Battle while missing the opportunity for real change.  Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit More resources from Neil  📘 Buy the book: https://neildbrown.com/books 👉 Take the online course: https://neildbrown.com/parent-teen-co... 📬 Sign up for my weekly newsletter: https://bit.ly/4iVo3Na Get started and take the first step toward a thriving family life. ✨ Visit https://neildbrown.com for more resources including free assessments, guides, and plenty of content on parenting teenagers.  

In this episode, Neil responds to a Mom whose young teen son reports that shoplifting is okay, as long as it's from large corporate stores. Neil helps this family unify their approach to include both positivity and accountability.  Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit  

Episode Description:  In this podcast, Neil and Robin respond to a Caroyln Hax column in which a desperate mom wants advice for dealing with her hostile 17 year old son. Mom is divorced and her son has been living mostly with his father, who just passed away.  Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit  

In this podcast, Neil and Robin explore generational sources of self-destructive behavior, how best to understand it, and most importantly, how to heal it. Learn how to invite gratitude into healing generational trauma.  Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit  

In this podcast, Neil and Robin respond to a Mom wanting to know the best ways to talk with her teen daughter about sex. Mom sees that dating is on the horizon and wants to be prepared. Neil and Robin approach the subject with the goal of raising healthy empowered teens, and they discuss the best ways parents can encourage their teen's participation in the discussion.  Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit  

In this podcast, Neil and Robin respond to a dad who wants Neil to decide which parent has the right idea, him or his wife. Dad sees his teen daughter as normal and doesn't want to enforce his wife's limits while Mom wants daughter held to higher standards. Neil explains how these polarized positions are triangulating and confusing their daughter and gives guidance on how to end this destructive dynamic. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit  

In this podcast, Neil and Robin respond to a husband and father struggling with why he isn't being listened to or appreciated in his own family. Neil offers a powerful yet simple way to think of and build empathy skills, a missing ingredient for this husband/father.  Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit  

In this podcast, Neil and Robin respond to a woman who's frustrated that a positive approach isn't working with her kids and she's ready to return to her older parenting model of getting angry and bawling them out when they're not behaving. Neil supports the idea that saying your truth is a good thing, and shows how being truly authentic includes being vulnerable. This provides new possibilities for this mother and her family. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit  

In this podcast Neil and Robin respond to a woman whose daughter threatens to quit going to college, or harm herself when her parents don't give her what she wants. Neil names this syndrome as Hostile Dependency and offers this mother clear guidelines and the healthy path forward.   Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit  

In this podcast, Neil and Robin respond to a question from Patricia, whose daughter is isolating more and more and seems to possibly be depressed. Neil provides insight into what may be happening and a path for getting the right kind of help for this family. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit  

In this podcast Neil and Robin respond to a woman on a quest to get healthy, who wants to  have a stronger voice with her husband. She's struggling with how her husband fights with their college age son and wants the pattern to change. Neil and Robin explore the many reasons things need to change, and they offer this inquiring wife and mother a way to get her voice heard. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this podcast, Neil, along with co-host Robin, reviews a question that Amy Dickenson responded to in her column at the end of December entitled, "Texas native should go home again." Neil provides insights into what can lead to family estrangement and offers support for people who may find themselves dealing with estrangement or family dysfunction.

Episode Description: In this podcast, Neil and co-host Robin respond to a mother who reports having debilitating anxiety. She's just been informed by the school that her son has not been going to classes and is failing his senior year. Mom is aware that her son is a competitive gamer with significant success, and she wants to address the school responsibility issues without undermining his passion. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this podcast, Neil and co-host Robin discuss three ways of being: self-oriented, self-centered and other-centered. Neil provides insight into how each of us is probably a little or a lot of each in our lives depending on our circumstances. But the most effective and mature way of being is self-oriented, and Neil gives us the ability to develop this as parents so we can raise self-oriented, healthy kids. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this podcast Neil, along with co-host Robin, respond to a mother whose adult child has moved back home. This young adult makes chronic demands on her mother's time. And while wanting to be the focus of her mother's world, this adult child is rude and unhappy with Mom's efforts. This calls for a radical change in the relationship between Mom and daughter. Neil identifies both the underlying elements of the problem and the critical elements necessary to ensure a shift to health.  Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this podcast, Neil, along with cohost Robin Holland, responds to a mom struggling with two resistant teens and their weekend father. The theme of self-doubt takes center stage, and Neil and Robin offer a way to shift into a new mindset and action plan.  Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: This podcast is part two in a series providing the most effective way to end chronic relationship struggles. Neil and Robin do a refresh on part one from last week, and then offer a simple 2-step approach for having others listen and support your needs, too.  Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: What do you do when you're struggling in a relationship and almost anything you say, ends up in an argument?  Neil explains how the pattern is the same in many different situations, what to do about it, and why it works.   Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: What do you do when your adopted young adult child can't take care of themselves, you don't want to put them out on the street, and you're out of options? Neil, along with co-host Robin, respond to this mother's dilemma, and discuss how adoption conditions and accurate assessments will impact child development. But all is not lost, as critical next steps are offered up.  Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: This episode responds to a mom who was hoping for a better school year with her now 15 year old ADHD son. But it's the same old story of getting him to do his work, deciphering excuses, and withdrawing privileges. In this episode, Neil and Co-Host Robin explore the difference between trying to understand what's wrong with a youth or the situation, to trying to understand what might be missing and what to do about it. It's moving from a pathology based model to a wellness model with lots of optimism and ideas for this mom.  Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode Neil, along with his co-host Robin, respond to a mother who is confused about whether or not to require her 13 year old daughter and 9 year old son to visit or stay with their father.  While it's clear from Mom that neither child feels emotionally safe, supported or even wanted by their father, she has felt compelled to go by the legal order or agreement. The discussion covers when and when not to require kids to go by a schedule and why, too often, women in particular don't trust their own judgment.  Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode Neil, along with his co-host Robin, responds to a therapist looking for ways to deal with dads who expect their kids to do what they're told -- and become angry when they don't get the response they expect. Neil shares his best strategies.  Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode Neil, along with his co-host Robin, respond to a woman concerned about her living situation with her partner and his young adult daughter. The daughter is not working or going to school, and has chased away other girlfriends of her father. Neil and Robin discuss the phenomenon of pathological enmeshment: what it is, where it comes from, and what to do about it.   Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode Neil, along with his co-host Robin, responds to a Mom whose 17 year old son doesn't want to talk to her, and wants to move out as soon as he turns 18. This podcast explores the cultural elements of parenting as well as ways to interpret the expressions of teenagers and the opportunities for personal growth and healing as we grow our parenting skills.  Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode Neil, along with his co-host Robin, responds to a therapist looking for guidance about when to send or not send a depressed or anxious teenager to school. Neil clarifies the roles of parents, doctors, therapists, school personnel, and most importantly, an empowered role for the youth. Neil adds that the skills in Motivational Interviewing and CBT can be powerful tools for parents.  Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode Neil, along with his co-host Robin, discuss a New York Times article by Matt Richtel. It's titled 10 Psychiatric Drugs While in High School, And She Was Far From Alone. The discussion looks at the medicalization of emotional issues and mental health, and explores ways to create a mentally healthier society for our youth. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode Neil, along with his co-host Robin, respond to questions from a mom concerned that her efforts to offer advice to her adult children has led to hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Mother is Indian and reports that advice giving from elders is expected. Neil and Robin offer a new way for this mom to think about her adult children's emotional needs and open up the discussion of cultural transformation.  Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode Neil, along with his co-host Robin, respond to questions from a mom about her ADHD son who resists parental limits, stays up late on devices and overall, is going in the wrong direction. Neil offers a model that focuses on helping the youth grow his executive functioning skills and seeks to build a parent/youth coalition to that end. Neil suggests Dr. Honos-Webb's book, 6 Super Skills for Executive Functioning as a resource for parents and teens.   Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit. 

Episode Description: In this episode Neil, along with his co-host Robin, respond to a Mom, rightfully concerned that her 16 year old daughter is giving cannabis to her 14 year old son. Daughter is on probation, yet Mom can't get support from probation or law enforcement to hold her accountable. Neil and Robin discuss what a healthy juvenile probation department can do and how they can support families. Neil offers Mom a plan for getting the support she needs. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode, Neil, along with his co-host Robin, respond to questions from a mom about her young adult son who's been diagnosed with depression and OCD.  This young man is on medication and getting counseling, but is not engaging with the family or doing anything productive. Neil offers that the situation is entirely hopeful if they don't just wait for things to change. Neil describes a therapeutic approach that will work and tells us why. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode, Neil, along with his co-host Robin, respond to a mother who is very worried about her anxious and depressed 15 year old daughter.  She doesn't want to add to her stress, but is concerned that her daughter is not moving forward. Mom has had anxiety all her life and wants her daughter to learn the coping skills she has. Neil and Robin explore the synergistic impact of mother and daughter's anxiety and what it will take to get unstuck and moving forward.   Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode, Neil, along with his co-host Robin, respond to questions from a mom about her teenagers' anger towards their parents. Neil and Robin provide insight into adolescent behavior and provide perspective and recommendations to address their specific behaviors.  Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode Neil, along with his co-host Robin, respond to a mother who is concerned that her well functioning 16-year-old daughter has suddenly become oppositional. Neil and Robin help this mother see her daughter's behavior in a more empathetic way and give her some ideas and skills for moving forward.  Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode Neil, along with his co-host Robin, respond to a mother who is worried about her 17-year-old son who is easily provoked and makes violent threats against other kids. Together, Neil and Robin discuss the origins of such destructive behavior, what treatment options would be most effective, and what the parents can do to help. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode Neil, along with his co-host Robin, respond to a counselor needing guidance for how to work with parents who refuse to accept that their teenager's gender identity has transitioned from male to female.   Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit.

Episode Description: In this episode, Neil, along with his co-host Robin, responds to a widow who is left to manage her relationship with her abusive adult son on her own.  Before answering her questions, Neil and Robin address the tragedy in Uvalde, TX and the trauma this brings across the US.   Neil offers the mother a set of goals, including getting her son into treatment, plus a strategy and some skills for helping her be successful in this challenging situation.   Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode Neil, along with his co-host Robin, responds to a husband wondering what to do about the lack of connection and affection in his marriage. He and his wife have three children and demanding careers, so being tired and busy is understandable. But counseling, and having some dates, hasn't changed anything. This invites a discussion of the role of women in our culture as well as some clear steps this man can take to shift away from blame and entitlement to authentic connection.   Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit