Hey Friend

In Matthew 19:16–22, we see one of the most honest moments in Scripture.A man comes to Jesus wanting eternal life.He’s searching. He’s sincere. He wants more.And Jesus looks at his heart.Sell what you have… and follow me.And the man walks away sad.Why?Because he chose something over God.The grief wasn’t random.It came from knowing the truth… and rejecting it.And if we’re honest, we do the same thing.We run to things that cannot fill us.We chase what feels good, what feels safe, what gives us control.And then we wonder why we still feel empty.This episode talks about that kind of grief.Self grief.The kind that comes from choosing empty things over the One who gives life.But not all grief is bad.Sometimes it’s a signal.Sometimes it’s God waking your heart up.Sometimes it’s an invitation to come back.If you feel that emptiness, don’t ignore it.It might be pointing you back to Him.

When was the last time you actually felt like God was with you?Not just something you believe. Something you experienced.Because most of us are busy. Full schedules. Full minds. Constant movement. And somewhere along the way, walking with Jesus can start to feel like something we are trying to fit into our lives instead of someone we are living with.But that is not how it was meant to be.In this episode, we talk about what it really looks like to walk with Jesus in the middle of real life. Not in perfect conditions, but in the chaos, the responsibilities, and the everyday moments.Scripture shows us this clearly. In John 15, Jesus invites us to abide in Him. In Matthew 11:28-30, He says to come to Him, take His yoke, and learn from Him.That does not mean life becomes easy.There will still be pressure. There will still be hardship. There will still be seasons that feel heavy.But His promise is different.His way is lighter.His way is simpler.And His burden is not meant to crush you.The invitation is not to do more.It is to do everything with Him.To learn His pace.To walk with Him in the middle of your day.To stop running to distractions and start going to Him.Because even in the middle of the chaos, you are not alone.In Matthew 28:20, Jesus says He will be with you always.He has not left you.He has not forgotten you.And He is not distant.So whatever you are carrying today, bring it to Him.Walk with Him.Learn from Him.And trust that His way, even in the middle of real life, is better.

It looks like sending a text and instantly questioning if you said the wrong thing.It looks like replaying a conversation over and over, trying to read into every word, every tone, every facial expression.It looks like lying in bed at night, running through every possible outcome of a situation you cannot control.It looks like creating scenarios in your mind that have not even happened.And before you know it, your mind is spinning.But here is the truth. Your overthinking is not coming from what actually happened. It is coming from the story you are telling yourself about what happened.Facts lead to a story.Your story shapes your emotions.Your emotions drive your thoughts and actions.So the real question is not just what happened.It is what story are you believing?In this episode, we talk about how overthinking is often a signal that something in your thinking is out of alignment with truth. Just like a car that is out of alignment creates a rough ride, your mind does the same when it is not aligned with what God says is true.Scripture tells us in Galatians 5:22-23 that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self control. If your mind is filled with anxiety and spiraling thoughts, it is worth asking what is out of alignment.We walk through four questions to help you evaluate your internal narrative:What story am I telling myselfWhat does that story say about othersWhat does that story say about meWhat does that story say about GodThen we talk about how to replace those false narratives with truth.Because overthinking is often rooted in deeper beliefs.The need to control how people see you.The need for approval to feel secure.But God’s truth says something different.In Philippians 4:6-7, we are reminded not to be anxious, but to bring everything to God, and His peace will guard our hearts and minds.Your peace does not come from controlling outcomes.It comes from trusting God.You do not have to live in a constant spiral.

Easter was yesterday.The day we celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus.And if we are honest, that is a wild claim. People do not just come back from the dead.For years, people have tried to explain it away. Some say it was faked. Some say it was a hallucination. Others say Jesus was not actually dead.But when you look at the evidence, the resurrection becomes the most reasonable explanation for what happened next. Early eyewitness accounts. Hundreds who claimed to see Him alive. And a group of people whose lives were completely transformed because of it.But here is the real question.Why does the resurrection matter for you today?In 1 Corinthians 15, Paul makes it clear. If Jesus did not rise from the dead, our faith is meaningless. But if He did, it changes everything.Because He lives, your faith is real.Because He lives, death is not the end.Because He lives, fear does not win.Because He lives, your future is secure.This is not just something we believe. It is something that should shape the way we live.Because He lives, you can face tomorrow.Because He lives, you do not have to live in fear.Because He lives, your life has purpose.And because He lives, your story is not over.

Recently, I was at a retreat, and Mike Donehey was leading worship.There was a moment I captured on video. I did not even know why I recorded it at the time. I did not know it would ever be used in a podcast. But looking back, it became a reminder I needed.We do not write our own story. God does.When a door closes, it can feel like everything stops. A relationship ends. A plan falls apart. A future you thought was certain is suddenly gone.We have all experienced that moment where life is heading one direction and then suddenly it is not.So what do you do when that happens?In this episode, we talk about what it looks like to walk through closed doors with faith. Instead of asking why did this happen, we shift the question to something deeper.Who is God shaping me into through thisWho is God for me in thisWho has He placed around me to walk with me through itWe also talk about processing what you are feeling, re centering your life on what actually matters, and taking your next step forward even when it is unclear.This episode also includes a real and honest conversation about the end of a relationship and what it looks like to trust God when something you cared about deeply comes to an end.Because closed doors are not just interruptions.They are invitations to trust.God is still writing your story. And what He is writing is better than anything you could have planned on your own.

In this episode, we talk about a simple but powerful truth: every season will come to an end.Whether you’re in a season of joy, pain, growth, waiting, or uncertainty, it will not last forever. Solomon reminds us in Ecclesiastes that there is a time for everything. A time to weep and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance.Sometimes we want the good seasons to last forever. Other times we just want the hard seasons to end. But the reality is that God uses every season for a purpose.In this conversation we talk about learning to trust God in whatever season you’re in right now. Not rushing it. Not numbing it. But letting Him shape you through it.If you're in a difficult season, take heart. It will not last forever. And if you're in a good season, receive it with gratitude.Every season has meaning. And every season will come to an end.

You and I are not exempt from trials.At some point in life, every one of us will face seasons that are heavy. Pain, disappointment, loss, or moments where it feels like everything is closing in.And when you’re hurting, it’s easy to turn inward and try to carry everything on your own.But Scripture reminds us that we were never meant to suffer alone.In this episode, Lucas and Ben talks about the importance of sharing our burdens and why God designed us to walk through hard seasons with others. When we invite the right people into what we’re going through, they can help lift our perspective and remind us of something we often forget when we’re hurting.God’s love is bigger than our pain.If you’re hurting today, find the godliest person you know and tell them.You don’t have to carry what you’re going through alone.God’s not finished with your story.

You messed up.You lost your temper.You fell back into something you said you were done with.You didn’t show up how you wanted to.And now the voice in your head says,“This is who you are.”“You’re not growing.”“You’re a fraud.”So what do you do when you suddenly feel like you suck?In this episode, we talk about the tension every believer feels — the war inside of us.Paul describes it in Romans 7:“Why do I do the things I don’t want to do? And the things I want to do, I don’t do.”That tension is real.Romans 6 reminds us we are no longer slaves to sin.Romans 7 shows us the internal battle.Romans 8 reminds us there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.The problem is not that you feel the tension.The problem is when you let the tension define you.It is easier to identify with your failure than with your identity in Christ.It is easier to say “I am my mistake” than to say “I am a child of God.”But your worst moment does not get the final word.Failure can refine you.It does not get to define you.We talk about:• Why conviction and condemnation are not the same• How the enemy attacks your identity, not just your behavior• What it means to actually live out Romans 8• How to respond when you fall instead of spiraling• And how to anchor your identity in Christ instead of your performanceIf you feel discouraged…If you feel ashamed…If you feel stuck in the cycle…This episode is for you.You are not your worst day.You are not your struggle.You are not your relapse.You are a child of God.Let this refine you.Do not let it define you.

What do you really want? Not the church answer.Not the Instagram answer.What do you actually want? In this episode, we walk through Genesis 15 and the larger story of Abraham’s faith journey. God promises Abram a future, a legacy, a son.Abram believes Him. But when the promise does not come on his timeline, Abram tries to manufacture what God already said He would provide.That decision creates consequences that ripple for generations. We talk about the danger of forcing timing.How control steps in when trust fades.How you can look fine on the outside while something has come unhooked internally. Lucas shares the trailer story — everything connected except the pin. One small piece missing that held the entire thing together. The cost of that oversight was bigger than expected.That is what it looks like when we try to carry what only God can hold. Abram wanted a son.But the son was never the real reward. In Genesis 22, God asks Abraham to lay down the very thing he waited decades for. Why?Because if the gift becomes the focus, you miss the Giver. The real reward was never Isaac.The real reward was God Himself. We also discuss:– Manufacturing outcomes instead of trusting God’s timing– The cost of overcommitment and burnout– Why God sometimes makes you wait– How faith matures over years, not moments– And how Jesus fulfills what Abraham’s story points toward Scripture referenced:Genesis 12–222 Corinthians 5:21Hebrews 11Hebrews 13:5–8 If you feel confused, exhausted, disappointed, or stuck in a waiting season, this episode is for you. He is your shield.He is your very great reward.

After 84 episodes, we stepped away.We stopped because we needed to listen.Season 2 starts from that place.We didn’t stop because we were burned out.We didn’t stop because we were out of ideas.There are seasons to speak.And there are seasons to sit still and let the Lord shape you before you open your mouth again.We did not want to keep producing noise.We wanted to listen before we spoke.To slow down.To realign.To surrender again.We are not coming back louder.We are coming back obedient.If the Lord is speaking, we want to say what He says.If He is leading, we want to move.Thank you for staying.Let’s go.

Want to be a real friend? You have to know—and be known.In this episode, we talk about how real friendship goes far beyond surface-level connection. To truly love someone, you need to know them deeply—how they think, what they value, what hurts them, and what brings them joy. And you need to let yourself be known too. We’ll unpack the Biblical idea of knowing, the way sin gets in the way, and how asking good questions, listening well, and pursuing others with love can lead to soul-deep connection. Don't settle for shallow friendship. Go first. Go deep. Be known.

To be a real friend, you need to be known by God.In this episode, we explore something deeply personal and often overlooked: not just knowing God, but allowing yourself to be known by Him. We unpack what Scripture says about this kind of intimate, relational knowing, why it’s essential for spiritual growth and emotional security, and how it affects your ability to build meaningful friendships. Being known by God leads to deeper freedom, honesty, and connection with others. So… are you letting Him in?

In this episode, we ask a simple but life-changing question: with all the noise in the world, are you actually slowing down to hear the voice of Jesus? We explore why what you listen to shapes who you become, how Jesus still speaks through His Word, and how to practically create space to hear Him through prayer, Scripture, church, and quiet reflection. If you're feeling distracted, overwhelmed, or spiritually dry—this conversation is a gentle call to return to the One who has the words of eternal life.

To be a real friend, you need to know God.In this second episode of our How to Be a Real Friend series, we dive into a bold claim: true friendship isn’t possible without a growing relationship with God. Why? Because selfless love—the kind that sustains real friendship—isn't something we naturally possess. It's something we receive from Jesus. We unpack how knowing God through Jesus transforms our ability to love others, why biblical friendship requires more than emotional connection, and how to practically pursue deeper knowledge of God in your everyday life. Want to love your friends better? Start by knowing the One who loved you first.

Knowing yourself isn’t just self-help—it’s the start of real friendship.In this first episode of our How to Be a Real Friend series, we unpack why self-knowledge is essential for healthy, lasting relationships. Drawing from Scripture, Christian tradition, and practical tools like personality tests and reflection, we explore how knowing your strengths, weaknesses, patterns, and quirks helps you love your friends more honestly and humbly. If you want to grow deeper in your friendships, start by looking inward—with God’s help.

Hey friend—are you using your time well?In this episode, we tackle one of the most convicting and practical questions for our everyday lives: how are you spending your time? Drawing from Ephesians 5, we explore what the Bible says about wise vs. foolish time use, how to discern between restful and wasteful activities, and how love—not productivity—is the real measure of using your time well. Whether you’re constantly busy or feel stuck in idleness, this conversation will help you reset your priorities and live with intention.

What do you do if you think your friend is lying to you?In this episode, we walk through how to handle dishonesty in a friendship with wisdom, truth, and grace. From the spiritual weight of lying to the emotional toll it can take on trust, we’ll share a step-by-step approach grounded in Scripture and real life. You’ll learn how to approach your friend with honesty, ask the right questions, and point them back to Jesus—without letting judgment kill connection.

Making new friends in college doesn’t have to revolve around parties—and it definitely shouldn’t.In this episode, we talk about how to build real friendships during your first year of college, even if you’re introverted, anxious, or over the whole party scene. We’ll explore why making friends is harder than ever (hello, post-COVID personalities), why God wants you in community, and give practical, honest tips to go from stranger to real friend. Whether you're starting fresh or looking to go deeper, this episode is for you.

Real friendship isn’t perfect—but it endures.In this final episode of our series, we talk about what it means to be committed to give grace —the kind of grace that forgives, restores, and keeps showing up even when things get messy. Drawing from Ephesians 4, Matthew 18, and the example of Jesus, we unpack why grace is essential for lasting friendship and how to extend it even when it’s hard. Real friends don’t cancel—they cover each other with love. This is the glue that holds everything together.

Can guys and girls really be just friends? In this episode, we dive into the question through the lens of Lucas’ own story—can he stay just friends with a girl? We talk about emotional boundaries, attraction, honesty, and how to pursue genuine, God-honoring friendship between men and women. This one’s honest, funny, and a little uncomfortable… but definitely worth it.

Real friends don’t just listen—they help you see clearly. In this episode, we explore what it means to counsel with truth in real friendship. We unpack how sin distorts our perspective, why truth-centered counsel matters, and how pointing one another to Jesus is the most loving thing we can do. Whether you're offering wisdom or seeking it, this episode will encourage you to speak with clarity, humility, and love as you walk with your friends toward what’s true.

Real friends don’t just tell you what you want to hear—they tell you the truth in love. In this episode, we talk about what it means to be candid in conversation, grounded in Ephesians 4 and the call to “speak truthfully” to one another. We explore how candor combines deep care with direct honesty, why it’s essential for real friendship, and how to practice it in a way that builds up rather than tears down. If you want friendships that are honest, strong, and rooted in love, this one’s for you.

What does it actually mean to love your friends well? In this episode, we explore what it means to be careful for good—to be emotionally attuned, intentional, and willing to pursue what’s truly best for your friends, even when it’s uncomfortable. Grounded in Philippians 2 and the example of Jesus, we unpack how real friendship goes beyond making someone feel good—it’s about doing ultimate good for them, in love and humility. This is the kind of friendship that changes lives.

Tired of surface-level conversations? In this episode, we share seven intentional questions that can take your friendships deeper. From past experiences to current frustrations and future hopes, these questions help you move beyond small talk and into heart-level connection. We’ll share our answers, give tips on how to use them naturally, and encourage you to go first in creating space for deeper conversation.

Real friends don’t just show up once—they keep showing up. In this episode, we unpack what it means to be consistently present in friendship, reflecting God’s faithful love through our presence and commitment. From biblical truth to practical ways you can go first, stay connected, and build trust over time, this conversation will help you become the kind of friend who’s really there—not just in the easy moments, but through thick and thin.

What is real friendship, really? In this episode, we go deeper than any dictionary can—defining true friendship through Scripture and the character of God Himself. We unpack what the Bible says, how real friendship reflects the heart of the Father, Son, and Spirit, and break it down into the “Five C’s” that make it real: consistent, careful, candid, counseling with truth, and committed to grace. If you want friendships that are more than shallow connection, this is where it starts.

You’ve never had a good friend in your life—because none of us are good. In this first episode of our Real Friendship series, we unpack why the Bible says no one is good except God, and why that truth actually frees us to have deeper, more honest friendships. If you’re tired of fake masks and crushed expectations, this conversation will help you stop looking for “good” friends and start becoming a real one.

Let’s be honest—either the world is shaping you, or God’s Word is. You can’t have both. In this episode, we talk about why Scripture isn’t just helpful—it’s essential. We unpack why we avoid it, how to actually start reading it, and why it changes everything. If you’re feeling spiritually dry, distant, or just stuck, this is the conversation that might wake something up.

Is gossip the most accepted sin in the church today? In this episode, we have a raw conversation about how gossip quietly destroys community, divides the body of Christ, and weakens the Church’s witness. From false assumptions to masked pride, we break down how gossip sneaks in and what Scripture calls us to do instead. If you care about unity and real relationships in the Church, this episode is for you.

Lucas and Nathan discus what it looks like to walk by faith rather than walk by fear, what it looks like practically to walk in faith, and how to grow in a way that casts out fear.

Liv and Kendall talk about what makes or blocks friendship among women, why it’s worth the work to make real friends, and how to create spaces where friendship can thrive.If you’re a young woman looking for Christian community, check out their organization The Invitation.

Ben and Lucas interview Liv and Kendall about how they unintentionally started a non-profit created to help young Christian women find meaningful community and belonging.Want to learn more? Check out The Invitation on Instagram at @theinvitation___

We conclude our series on starting a Gospel Community by talking with pastor Stephen Glasser about what Gospel community looks like in the context of a large church, why it needs to be prioritized, and how to get connected.

If all your friends are within a couple years of your age, you’re missing out on the amazing blessings of being friends with people who are from other generations.In this episode Ben and Lucas talk about how they’ve been blessed by inter-generational friendships, what to expect when you become friends with someone who’s older (or younger) than you, and why it matters.

What if that argument with your friend is more than just a disagreement? What if it’s spiritual warfare?In this episode Ben and Lucas talk about how spiritual warfare shows up in friendship and how to fight well when evil is working to disrupt your relationships.

Part 4 of our series on How to Start a Gospel Community.You’ve gathered some people who want to pursue Jesus together. Now what? In this episode Ben and Lucas talk a simple framework to help you evaluate how to use your time when you’re together with your gospel community and provide some practical tips for making the most of the time.

Part 3 of our series on How to Start a Gospel Community.When people gather together regularly there are bound to be challenges and problems that come up. In this episode Ben and Nathan talk through some of the challenges they’ve faced in leading gospel communities and provide guidance on how to navigate your own challenges.

Almost 1/3 of young adults in the USA say they’re lonely every day. That’s not good. In this episode Ben and Lucas talk about what loneliness is, how you can grow through it, ways to deal with your loneliness, and why you shouldn’t settle for simply being lonely.

If you’re starting a Gospel community it’s important to get the right people there at the begining. In this second episode of the How to Start a Gospel Community series, Ben and Lucas talk through some helpful tips for how to practically identify who should be in that initial core group to begin a Gospel community.

Part 1 of a series on starting a Gospel community. In this episode we talk through six simple questions you need to ask yourself before you start gathering people to create a Gospel community. From evaluating your motive to making practical preparations, these questions will help you start well.

Confronting a close friend about how they hurt you can feel overwhelming—but avoiding it can damage the relationship even more. In this episode, we break down practical steps to have an honest conversation, from evaluating your feelings to setting the right tone and inviting real dialogue. Whether you're dealing with a misunderstanding or a deeper issue, we’ll help you navigate tough conversations in a way that strengthens your friendship rather than breaking it.

Ever feel awkward or disconnected at church? In this episode, we dive into practical ways to make genuine friendships at church, even if you’re new or have been attending for a while without connecting. From small group tips to the power of serving, we’ll cover six actionable steps to build meaningful relationships and why it’s essential to take the first step.

Feeling disconnected or craving deeper relationships at church? In this episode, we explore why you need a gospel community and how it differs from just attending a service or Bible study. We'll break down what makes a true gospel community—small, purposeful gatherings focused on growing in Christ and reaching others. Whether you're looking to join or start your own, we share practical steps to find real friendship and live out your faith together.

Is it ever a good idea to stay friends with your ex? In this episode, Ben, Lucas, Nathan, and Jordan dive into this question from a biblical perspective. They explore what it truly means to be friends, the factors to consider—like how the breakup went and the impact on mutual friendships—and whether the desire to stay friends is driven by fear or faith. They also discuss how to navigate forgiveness, boundaries, and emotional health according to scripture. If you’ve ever struggled with the idea of staying friends with your ex, this episode is for you.

Ever feel frustrated or disappointed with your church or ministry’s small group? In this episode Ben and Lucas discuss why this can happen and why it’s important that we go first to make things change.

In Part 3 of the Why Real Friendship? series, Ben and Lucas dive into why friendships can be so difficult and painful. If we were created for relationship, why do friendships so often end in hurt, betrayal, or distance?The Bible gives a clear answer: sin has broken the way we relate to one another. From Genesis 3 to Cain and Abel, we see how self-focus and pride distort relationships. When we seek love from ourselves or others instead of from God, we end up with frustration, disappointment, and brokenness.But there is hope! Jesus provides the only lasting foundation for real friendship. By receiving His grace and love, we are freed to give it to others—restoring what sin has damaged.Struggling in a friendship? Let’s talk about how Jesus changes everything.

In Part 2 of the "Why Real Friendship?" series, Ben and Lucas talk about how we were created for friendship. Starting with the creation story in Genesis, we examine what it means to be made in the image of God and how God designed us for relationship. Science backs this up too: strong social connections lead to a 50% increased likelihood of survival! Friendships boost our mental and physical health in countless ways. Isolating yourself goes against God's design for humanity. Ready to learn more about the power of real friendship?

Episode 1 of the Why Real Friendship series. In this episode Ben and Lucas contrast the naturalistic view of why friendship exists with the Biblical narrative’s answer to the same question. Drawing on Jesus’ prayer in John 17, they delve into God’s trinitarian nature, how we’re created in God’s image, and the fact that Jesus was someone who, as God incarnate, still pursued friendship.

We’ve officially completed the first year of Hey Friend. In this episode we recap some highlights from the year, talk about why Hey Friend exists, and give a glimpse of what we’re preparing for 2025.

It’s Christmas week! In this episode Ben and Lucas discuss why Jesus came to earth (the reason might not be what you assume).