PODCAST · arts
Hilda's Shoulder
by hildas shoulder
Welcome to Hildas Shoulder Pod cast.I am particular about Nigerian (Naija) relationships and marriages. If you are intending to marry a Nigerian or married to one I do hope my podcasts arm with knowledge to enjoy it better!
Episodes
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Marriage / Relationship as a crutch
A crutch is any device that is used to aid mobility. Women should not use their relationships / marriages as crutches on the journey to self fulfilment. Self- fulfilment, purpose ,happiness emanate from self.
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Power play - Mind games
If you find yourself in a relationship that feels like a game of chess - its a good idea to confirm your feelings. A relationship should not be a power play. Exiting such a relationship may be one of the best ways to save you from emotional turmoil.
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Possession in Relationships
We need to learn that we cannot own people the way we own earthly things. We cannot "train" the way you would a dog. We can only encourage them to be the best version of themselves and embrace their individuality.
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When he / she changes
Sometimes, we look back in time and wonder why our partner or spouse has changed. It may be that they actually changed or we ourselves saw them differently. What is of importance is to manage our expectations of them and deal with who they are, not who we want them to be.
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What you really want Part 2
When you give expression to what you really want from your partner / spouse, your happiness level goes up a notch!
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What you really want
The feeling of being fulfilled in a relationship or marriage only comes when we have our head and heart boxes being ticked. A lot of people are unfulfilled because they may not be giving expression to their real wants. Dig deep to know what it is you really want out of the union!
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Your spouse/ partner is not you!
We are often blindsided into believing that it is only we our spouse /partner is more like us that the relationship will reach meaningful heights. We must do the work and find out how to reach our significant other ,whilst also making ourselves available to be found by them!
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The Idea of "being" Married or dating ( M or D)
Sometimes we fall in Love, not with the person ,but with the idea of falling in Love,we may also marry because of the idea of marriage and not really for the right / good reasons.Through self knowledge - knowing who are are and what we really want, is the first step in nurturing a lasting…
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Being Conflicted
Everything is life has to do with balance. Balancing who we are and what other's expect us to be is key - If we are to have sound mental health.
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Polygamy in Naija- The benefits (Part 3)
I got some questions and comments from some listeners after my last podcast on Polygamy. I'm talking about the "heart" of the woman in polygamy,etc in this final part.
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Polygamy in Naija- the benefits?
Yule Edochie - a renowned Nigerian Actor inspired this podcast because he recently married a second wife and revealed that they had a Son. If you have thoughts about going into polygamy or you're just curious about it - then you should listen to this podcast.
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Boundaries in Relationships
It's definitely the way to go,to be true to self! We continually hurt ourselves emotionally, when we do not have boundaries or our other half doesn't see them or respect them. We owe it to our mental health to have boundaries and to stand by them.
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Domestic Abuse,culture and religion in Naija
Culture and religion have and still play roles in the level of acceptance of domestic abuse by women. Toxic shame and ostracisation are some of the fears that women have ,that prevents them from leaving abusive marriages. This should end! Women should not value averting shame over their lives!
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Hating your partner or spouse
By the day our knowledge of our significant other grows and with it may come some growing levels of discontent. If your feelings of discontent and hatred seem to be growing - You need to listen to this podcast! Nothing good ever comes from a home or relationship filled with strong negative emotions
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Loving too much!
Can Loving someone be too much? Is it wise to Love anyone to that point? What are are your thoughts? Listen to this podcast to find out.
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Love is a Chemical!
Is the chemical of Love low or high in your system? Do you keep experiencing unrequited Love? ....Listen to this podcast then!
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Co-dependency in Naija
Find out whether you or your partner is co-dependent and how hopefully either of you can move forward from it
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The Beauty Within You
No one and nothing should ever define your outward or inner beauty. You are so unique in every way that there is no comparison !
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Beauty from within
So much premium is placed on looks by especially social media that there is a tendency for women to feel inadequate. Women should de- emphasise the gravity of social media and society's " you look good" and open their eyes to see the beauty that is more than skin deep.
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Loving yourself!
Partners or spouses might not be able to fill the void of our Love tank.Only in loving ourselves completely can we truly give and receive Love.
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Relationships and Space Pt 2
Being a partner or spouse shouldnt be a chore or a "shift" The little spaces in between a relationship actually forestall boredom and monotony.Partners / Spouses get to remember what made them get together in the first place when there periods of being away from each other.
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Relationships and Space
The expectations that the Naija women should "blend- in" with her partner or spouse and remain blended -in leads to a monotony in the relationship or marriage. "Me time" is almost non existent not to talk of "space". Sadly,it is this much needed space that brings newness and vibrance into the...
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Mom n Dad My first Bullies
Talking about being with someone or being married to them means amongst others ,understanding where they are coming from . Childhood experiences make their mark on people. When the experience is bad - abusive the effects continue into adulthood. The negative words / abuse by parents become a jury...
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Relationships and her period
For some men the mention of the period is a turn off.Some of them don’t let their women cook or sleep with them on the same bed. For some women they feel a sense of shame and are very secretive about their periods. Loving a woman means loving her warts and all and distancing yourself from her...
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How money affects relationships
Money can be a touchy subject for couples dating. Our culture vests the responsibility of spending on the man. As we become more modern, has this expectation changed? Do Naija boyfriends have financial expectations of their girlfriends? Listen to our banter and let me know what your views are.
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Synching with your spouse
It’s fiction to base the expectations of what you think will be a perfect spouse based on how well you synch or connect.
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Relationship & Marriage this end of year
Introspection and assessment of all our relationships is key in order for us to reach our personal goals. Sometimes we may be the cause of the continuous downward spiral in our relationships or marriages.Sometimes we need professional help.Sometimes breaking up or getting seperated or divorced is...
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Divorced Naija Women & Shame
Vicarious shame is hurled on the shoulders of single matured women, separated women and most especially Divorced Women in Nigeria.Living under toxic shame compromises our feeling of self worth and mental health. Living with shame doesn’t stop at us. If women do not take care, the shame will be...
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Are you a Narcissist or you are with one?
The embers of a Narcissism keep burning the more you kow -tow and make yourself and almost invisible.They are most concerned about their own image and have little time to worry about you! Being with a narcissist is very emotionally trying.The Narcissist is a manipulator and can make you feel that...
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Paternity Fraud in Naija!
A report puts Nigeria's Paternity fraud at 30% - The worlds second highest rate.I discuss the matter and possible reasons for its occurrence.
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Sex for Marks
In the last few days social and mass media has been agog with report of investigation of BBC into the matter of sexual assault by 2 lecturers in Nigeria and Ghana. It was an exposé! I have some things to say about the role that our culture and values play in condoning the matter of sexual assault...
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RAPE- Frozen by shame
This podcast is inspired by #metoo. In Nigeria like many other parts of the world womens reaction to rape is often of shame.The shame is such an issue that many remain silent because society and custom make them feel they somehow had in a hand in it. When women maintain that siĺence,the society…
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Naija Women & Labels
Naija Women are put into a strait jacket by culture and the media.Culture plays a tune that it expects the Naija woman to dance to whether she wants to or not or whether she is fit or not. Many women are in a living death of a Marriage because they fear the shame and ridicule society will mete…
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Naija Marriages & Friendships
Naija Women do a lot of things that their male counterparts do. There is a still a big divide between what a husband can do and what a wife can do. One of those things is for a wife to have a male or male friends. Our culture isn't too excited about that,whether the friendship is platonic or not....
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Naija Wives & The Maid
The House Maid ,plays such a definitive role in many Nigerian homes.She has a multi - layered job description and many a time, she is the cause of many broken homes. This podcasts addresses the need for Naija Wives to re -jig the management of their homes. Naija Women claim back your honourable...
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Why you are still single
It is not an exhaustive list but it is a hope that I have said something that will help you "fix something' in your life and attract that wonderful man!
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Naija Wives & The Mistress
The security of being a married woman often causes many married woman to feel they have "arrived" socially and that there is no need to stress themselves for the attention of their husbands. That's so wrong! Doing so leaves room for the other woman to take hold of your husband. With the...
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Domestic Abuse in Naija
Abuse is completely unacceptable Naija Women say No!
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Hilda says No to abuse in Naija!
Abuse can be to body or mind. It is prevalent all over the world. Many a time when we look through cultural eyes, we are unable to decipher abuse, even when we are the ones experiencing it. Abuse is not an option! It is inhuman. When it is done where children it sets up a stage for the emergence…
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Naija and Sexual Expression
Culture ,religion in Naija stifles sexual expression and creativity.Women are the worse off.The Naija Man has his way of expressing himself sexually. Many women feel the need to keep suppressing what they really want sexually feom the men afraid to be seen as "useless or loose" The Naija woman…
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Naija Feeling entitled
Feelings of entitlement if not checked, May ruin a beautiful relationship or marriage. Couples should give each other space and give each other respect especially when it comes to the asset of the other.
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Hilda's Easter Message
I'm looking at Easter and a few things we can draw from lessons from, to better our happiness level. Happy Easter.
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Naija & Love Language
This a talk about the language of Love. How Naija people speak the language of Love!
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Naija Handling Heartbreak
I have a few tips for you to get out of the pain of heart break. You will come through and be just fine!
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Before you remarry!
In Nigeria,it's socially frowned on for a woman to have remarried multiple times. Divorcees and widows try to "get it right" to avoid a divorce. I'm sharing with you, things that you and your Beau-to- be need to open about and discuss before you walk down the aisle again. listen! I hope this helps!
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Naija peeps Cheating
Why people cheat and how to identify a cheater.
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Naija Women feeling entitled
It is a common subject of discussion that Nigerian like or love money and will do anything for it. It is also said that Nigerian women make demands from their men as if it is an entitlement. Is it so? Listen to what I have to say and draw your own conclusions.
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Naija Couples & Trust
Trust is a very big deal for couples because of their past relationships and what they have heard people do to others. Trust unfortunately cannot be bought with money and does not grow on trees. It is something that is deliberately worked at. Each party must be vulnerable to other if there is...
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Naija Women QUEEVING!
Naija Man I'm sure you've experienced that "fart" sound that comes from the vagina when you're intimate with your woman! It's not evidence of her illness or that she has been with numerous sexual partners! It's just science! Listen and learn!
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Welcome to Hildas Shoulder Pod cast.I am particular about Nigerian (Naija) relationships and marriages. If you are intending to marry a Nigerian or married to one I do hope my podcasts arm with knowledge to enjoy it better!
HOSTED BY
hildas shoulder
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Hilda's Shoulder have?
Hilda's Shoulder currently has 65 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Hilda's Shoulder about?
Welcome to Hildas Shoulder Pod cast.I am particular about Nigerian (Naija) relationships and marriages. If you are intending to marry a Nigerian or married to one I do hope my podcasts arm with knowledge to enjoy it better!
How often does Hilda's Shoulder release new episodes?
Hilda's Shoulder has 65 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Hilda's Shoulder?
You can listen to Hilda's Shoulder on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Hilda's Shoulder?
Hilda's Shoulder is created and hosted by hildas shoulder.
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