Hitchhikers and Appetizers

Trellis and Hortaio learn about the planet Stowpage and their main industry of Cruising. If there’s one thing Horatio loves about Cruises it’s planning his time around their buffets but he didn’t have plans for how to deal with the pirates.

Lazenbag Grabbag stops by booth 42 with his food cart and blowhole (not his) full of cheese. Hortaio, unsurprisingly, decides to go for a dip in it.

Daddy Porksskins is from the planet Tenalp which is shaped like a chubby C because something (they don’t know what or really care) took a gigantic bite out of it. Also if you want to be something or someone’s “Daddy” this is the planet for you.

High Prefect Groth comes to Booth 42 bringing with him word of the squishy glory of the seven tentacled one Octoculan. He also leans into the religion’s seventh tentacle of knowledge…always be marketing.

Trellis and Horatio welcome a guest from an obscure backwater planet. She’s Myrte Lundquist and she was abducted from some place called Minnesota back in the planet’s mid-1900s.

Graig comes from Gorlax where he runs his family’s intergalactic business which prides itself on innovations in sentient and consenting meat products.

Tinderella is a dating app from the planet Swipey where everyone is a dating app. Trellis tries to pitch a reality dating show, starring himself of course and Horatio has a dream date with a giant mouth.

Bradley is from Trunkonia where the more trunks you have the higher your status. She comes to Booth 42 expecting a speed dating experience, but she got a lot more… or at least twenty-five more minutes with Trellis and Horatio than she was expecting.

An amiable hydrogen particle named Hydrogeeeen floats around Booth 42 and we learn that he’s a bit of a celebrity.

Trellis and Horatio are honored to welcome the planet Stankonia’s worst private investigator Haronius Flexador to Booth 42.

Gogi is from the very very very dry planet Kuring where anything can and is turned into jerky. And that’s why it’s the jerky capital of the galaxy

Gron and their archival robot take refuge in Booth 42 when their home planet of B-Believe and its immense irreplaceable archives are destroyed by the evil Klakor Collective.

Schlizz and Schlov are a father and son from the planet Souvenaire whose main industry is creating souvenirs to sell to the rest of the galaxy. 

Gor Borgor is from a planet that orbits three suns, so it gets pretty hot there. How hot? So hot that they export their suntan lotion-like sweat.

Ambassador Frawl from the planet Chillaxon brings his culture’s philosophy of chill and relaxation to Booth 42. Trellis and Horatio do their best not to harsh his buzz.

Eeeeka, the goddess of small irritations, finds that the seeds of her work are growing much fruit in Booth 42. Trellis and Horatio have been accidentally worshipping her by naturally irritating other beings for years.

Glorp, Pasco, and Jim are three alternating and distinct personalities sharing the same body and that’s perfectly natural on their home planet of Trisket.

Steve is the lead sanitation engineer around, but when he travels the galaxy, he’s not just searching for trash, he’s seeking out treasure. 

Mohave Cashew is from the moon Renato where the inhabitants subsist mainly on snails consumed using ensnailers. Also his funnel shaped mouth also functions as an arm.

Buck the Beaver, son of Buckees of the galactically popular fuel-replenishing stations, drops by our booth to gnaw on the table legs and do some market research.

Zocrates shows us that if meaning doesn’t come from his home planet of Minong, it doesn’t have meaning at all.

The Big Hoboswki, space hobo extraordinaire, takes a break from the space roads to rest his bindle in Booth 42 and tell us his tales from the hyperspace road.

Twelve is an organic lifeform from the planet Gornay where they do things the corporate way.

Our illustrious guest is a big deal pop star from the planet Breakout who goes by the name Solo. He lets us hear three notes from his next big hit and Trellis tries to get added to his rider.

Life coach, part-time entrepreneur, and unregistered nurse Chance Squadron surprises Trellis and Horatio with an impromptu counseling session that puts Trellis through the basement, but that doesn’t trouble Horatio very much.

Silas Spitoon is from the planet Flax where racketeering and racquetball are very similar. He’s on a quest to document bathrooms across the galaxy, but not in a pervy way. We recommend listening to this episode from a medium, tasteful distance.

Bixby LaFleur hails from the planet Ramshackle Jr. which is one third smaller than Ramshackle Sr. If you’re having a party and don’t want to clean up make sure Bixby and his friends are “guest” list.

Our prophet from the future returns for a fateful check-in visit that could well have lasting repercussions for his gods, your not so humble hosts.

Twerg Sirloos is a space food inspector and he’s here at Milliways to check out the after effects of the food on the diners. He also has a very roomy junk drawer stomach and an eye out (not literally) for Trellis’ nose.

Grabtakulon The Pontific, poet laureate of Vogsphere stops by booth 42 to regale/torture Trellis & Horatio with the finest of Vogon poetry. Grabtakulon also takes a liking to Horatio which is as ugly as the poetry he creates.

Famed actress, storyteller, and wife to many Vavianna Vardot graces Booth 42 with her amazing scent and the secrets of her success.

Marcus Mucus is from the planet Porto, where toilets roam free. Trellis insults Marcus and threatens him in a manner that would only offend a Portonian, unless they’ve consented to it, which Marcus hasn’t, but Trellis doesn’t care. You’ll also be regaled with the quest for the mythical roll of toilet paper, but you better know the incantation when you find it.

Calvin Howl is from a planet of werewolves called Lunis and he’s here to spread the word that it’s not as violent a planet as many think it is. His body is also unexpectedly hairless (Trellis is jealous) after Snap Traveling to Milliways.

Scribbellious “Scribey” Bookertonian is a correspondent for our rival publication the Encyclopedia Galactica. He joins us for a spirited discussion where we find some common ground despite Trellis swinging his nunchucks around.

Eternal teenager Scootylou from the planet Youthaltania 637 infects Booth 42 with her youthful enthusiasm and Horatio discovers that he and Scootylou are both alumni of the not very distinguished institute of lower learning SkenectU.

Jeffrey Jefferson is a twelve-foot tall purple giraffe from the serengeti plains of the idyllic Panjir, the only continent on a planet that’s eighty percent water. And if he sees you, you should take it as a compliment.

Nell is constantly looking for the next new thing to try. He is easily bored and needs that quick fix of excitement that something new offers him. Booth 42 is his newest playground so we’ll see if it gives him the hit he needs or if he’s immediately overcome by an overwhelming urge to flee.

Aloysius Vandelay’s company is planning a new planet that’ll be one big theme park and you can bet Trellis and Horatio have an abundance of ideas for attractions and merchandise that push the limit of whatever laws and regulations are currently in place.

Aldente Pomo is a pastronaut, explorer, diplomat, and admiral from Gastroterra where everyone is a sentient prepared food dish. When he alights onto a plate in Booth 42, will Horatio remember that guests aren’t for eating? Especially when they're covered in poison.

GoGo Stellamint Murf of a galactically famous, matchmaking family, comes to Booth 42 in her quest to counsel those beings of “lower” status on finding lasting relationships in order to annoy her parents who normally work only with the elites, the cream of the crop, the…long story short, the Rich.

46B2G joins us in Booth 42 on her day off from delivering packages for the Under Pressure System or UPS and also a day off from asking permission for anything she does.

Coreee is a lump of coral from the Crab Nebula where crabs rule and there’s no soda on Tuesdays.

Even though bounty hunter hunter Gingko Bilobba cased the joint earlier, he’s a little nervous about being on the show

Yillb Ttirrem is a bartender from a planet of bartenders and it’s fortunate for us that he’s put his natural abilities to work here at Milliways.

Frogball’s biggest fan Glorpston Glorpston pays a return visit to Booth 42 where a surprise is waiting for him. Spoiler: It’s his favorite Frogball player, the legendary… Wizard Thompson!

An Intermittent Actuator of Time named Ripple happens upon Booth 42 while searching for ways his ripples and flits have affected others.

Jyrell and RO1 are evangelists spreading the word of Bombasticism and the often stern love of their god XOXO.

Eagle Eazee is a young Eagle from Air Eaglen who’s into traveling around looking to show her DJ skills and spin some thumping beats.

The Mayor of the Lollipop Guild takes a break from his official duties of leading parades and saying hello to people and sits down with us in Booth 42.