HOUR OF THE BARBARIAN

On this CSFW (Completely Safe For Work) edition of HOTB, we tackle more highbrow discourse along the lines of bad toupee tales, reasons Hell actually sucks, The Cleveland-Pittsburgh War of 1984: The Yinzer Years, body shaming Iggy Pop, Ryan’s hash smoking tutorial, blindfolded vintage floor tasting with Dodgy Shithead, racist riffs, scoring 50p in a single beg, Backne, cold IPAs, New Doom, being in a state of Groef, reimagining Old Grover’s logo, the keys to the Lamborghini, Phil & His Oppressors….

And on this week’s episode, the boys engage in highly intellectual discourse regarding shower toads, favorite Fireside Chat shows, fantasy troll metal, the power violence canoe, Guy Collider, The Porno Grind Museum vs. The Gore Grind Museum, incorrectly drinking the cream of Mother Earth, Glenn Miller’s exclusion from The Hall Of Brass, pouring hard, the woman hole, Arizona: California’s Backpack, 12 year olds and Pizza Rolls, Dodgy Shithead, The Daily Bleaurgh gazette, the Skank Room, dog bars…

The vintage episode we sat on thinking it would get better with age, filled with our usual high-brow academic dissertations on matters of great significance like Michael Jordan's Hitler mustache, resting your balls on every surface of your home, Top 5 PCP stories, cushion fucking, canceled Spazz reunion, Binaca, disregarding Blake, Iron Michael, Top 5 Stories Being Mexican, garbage fucking to Doom, Affliction gear & hair plugs.

Special guest barbarian Jeremy Raub from Eagle Rock Brewery!  ERB's 10th Anniversary Bash - Jan 18th, hot dog water IPAs, bong water IPAs, Beer For Ryan, JR and the Dumpers, shooting arrows into a day care center, sellouts, humulus lupulus, the rich New Belgium waitress, black loggers, history lessons by Municipal Waste, the Cosmic Eye You're Cut Off collab beer, cheating on Pepe's, Alter Bridge cutting in line, rodeo nazis, weed logic, humping hump meat, our first ticket giveaway, lots of belching....

The Punisher Window, De Natte Gijt, Slayer's pizza review on Yelp, Trve Brewing, Trappist Euro & UK outing, Mike Hess, Mike Ness, Glemm Danzig, Bob Zombie, goat marriage, Masters of Impression and Illusion, Wayfinder Beer, Top 5... Go!, crusty English creatures, golfing with Mario Lopez, wrestling Frank Stallone, when old Italian guys go on tour, Andrew "Grapefruit" Solis, David Lee Armstrong, the Chunnel, Bibleman...

Thrash Zone Yokohama, Trappist Japan tour, horse meat, Minoh Beer, Squirts franchise opportunities, monkey egg custard, underage bats, symphonic creature metal, Dark Funeral signing Riblets, Daryl Gates’ in-store, Madness badges in the middle of our merch table, Lesto’s death in Game Of Thrones, off-barf green, Bar Hokage: Osaka Q-Bert club, Jackson Pollock jokes, Ise like a Sunday morning, Myserious the Spellcaster, Shiggy The Human Slurpee Machine, Barrier Brewing, Modern Times, That’s So Anvil, Lil El Camaro from Pasadena, turning metal into a different metal, overseas punishers, a snowboarding first skid, IPA made with a small eye, the battle inside Joan Collins, our personal Mt Rushmores, W.A.Z.B....

Wake Brewing, pixelated monkey dicks, Japanese death matches, the piano falling on Ryan's head, Encaffeinated, GOADs, brewing the Swignorant beer with Eagle Rock Brewery, pFriem, pFhil, GI Joe PSAs, Good Secrets Bad Secrets, Ryan's road rage, freedom rock, no Gism, horse cock body pillow, "Veiny & Loose"...

Barbaric babbling and boundless banal boobery from beer imbibing buffoons.

Savage discussions about Ryan's boob job, Wayfinder Beer, the Song Bag, the Schneider seance, Relapse, meteorological Oi!, dive bar frog legs, not interrupting Ryan, Famous Anus, Trappist "Ancient Brewing Tactics" album, Seattle beers, Lixx Array, the Neurosis Endurance Test, drinking with Red Fang, Vinnie Capistrano, Hair Of The Dog, tales from 90s public access TV, and endless barbaric barbarosity!

Savage insights into the Arby's in Tommy Lee's house, El Segundo Brewing, gymnastics themed D-beat, licking animal asses, Sunn-oh, Joey Chestnut, the real life Bong Ripping Chimp, The Six Most Metal Breweries, sizeist music fans, the Trappist band collaboration with Wayfinder Beer, the deleted hooker story, and a generous heapin' helpin' of barbaric barbarity!

The old lady stalker, the Xocoveza controversy, Jerry Springer & the Confuse flexi, nerding out on Kerry King, the little kid in the arcade, earthworm burgers, the Agathocles / Sha Na Na split, the Woolworth's malted, and Tina Yothers.

Fierce tales of Harvey Weinstein's folds, Billy Dee Williams' Colt 45 fortune, Iron Reagan & Despise You tour, wrestling with Crom, Gus' dried chicken, first Trappist show in LA, being ripped off by CNN, personally bumming out Ron Asheton from The Stooges, early tales of Slap A Ham Records, Michael McDonald's warm cup of cocoa by the fire, a cappella renditions of your favorite classics, and the most barbaric savagery this side of The Pond.

Just get a malted and some apple pie, and fuggin' listen, Toots.

Special guest: Carlos Vera - Phil’s Dad! Ghost stories, the Power Violence Project documentary, savage women, Reno beers – Revision & Great Basin, washed up dudes selling shit, Turn It Around documentary, girl beards, shitty movie theater stories, Crimpshrine’s b.o., SF vs. LA, sleep paralysis, fighting skins, the featherless undead chicken, and the most savage savagery to date!

Barbaric jaw-jacking about Infest in Tijuana, asshole otters, The Tet Offensive, the bong room, Mexican indie brews, pit failures, escaping fires, Howard Dean, marbled monkey meat, middle aged creeps at hardcore shows, Burgess Meredith, and assorted savagery unfit for human ears.

Savage dialogue about important topics like Three Weavers Brewing, Vegas punk rock tour stories, mud butt, Lindsey Buckingham, Dystopia, shivering rat voice, dog lipstick, Gene Simmons' meatball sandwich, Gene Simmons' wig, Meat Loaf's meatloaf, casino suicides, artisan farts, church stories, and veritable cornucopia of madcap barbaric barbarism.

Savage conversations about Eagle Rock Brewery, The Gorilla Mall, spreading meat, Czech hotel safety, Obscene Extreme, confused hipsters, good vs. bad Budweiser, good vs. bad Discharge, morning zoos, dick jokes, why beer podcasts suck, and a plethora of wacky barbarism.

Savage discussions about high ABV beer, sobriety, non-sobriety, Crom tour, Crom documentary, overseas McDonalds, Spazz, Infest, power violence, Grill Em All, one-man-porno-grind, and miscellaneous barbaric debauchery