How She Really Does It.
by Koren Motekaitis
Koren. Motekaitis host of How She Really Does It, provides the place where inspiration + possibility meet. Each week Koren interviews a special guest: thought leader, best selling author, researcher, someone with a story to provide the glimmer of possibilities for you. The show is about living more fully in yourself. We talk about health, mindset, money, weight loss, entrepreneurship, family, parenting, compassion, career to help you create the life you want. Join us for the next conversation at www.howshereallydoesit.com.
Episodes
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The Pause
Last year, I found myself on a retreat utterly exhausted. I knew I was craving more space in my life and business, which sounds counterintuitive for a go-getter and high achiever like me, but sometimes, even the most driven individuals need to hit the pause button and allow themselves the luxury…
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Being the Leader of Your Life: Owning Your Role
As children, we had parents, teachers and other authoritative figures to lead the way. But as we make our move into adulthood, it can become difficult to step into leadership roles – in any aspect of our lives. In fact, this is a topic I discuss with my clients regularly. So I’d like to emphasize...
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Unlocking Connection: The Power of Vulnerability and Feedback
As a leadership coach, one of the things I do a lot of coaching on is communication. Communication can be scary and intimidating. Maybe it’s something you think you should know how to do, but let me tell you, it’s a learnable skill. And one of the things I talk a lot about with my […]
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Managing the Unknown: Face Your Fear and Anxiety Head-On
Pursuing things that you want and work hard for can evoke fear when the outcome is uncertain. That feeling also resonates with people awaiting a diagnosis, whether it’s for themselves or their loved ones. Sometimes, when you become so anxious about what’s going to happen, you may start to...
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Expectations vs. Requirements: The Importance of Getting Clear
Are any of your expectations influenced by fear, shame, or magical thinking? These are called stealth expectations and they usually are overlooked and unexpressed. They will go unnoticed until they resurface when challenges occur. It’s crucial to be aware of them and to know how to recognize if…
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You Don’t Need a Re-do: Learning from the Present
How amazing would it be to go back in time and change the way you did things? Recently, during multiple sessions with clients, the topic of how wonderful it would be to be a freshman in college again came up. It made me think about the fantasy of going back in time with the knowledge […]
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How to Thrive During Life’s Unexpected Challenges
When you were younger, did you ever believe that having money or a specific job would shield you from life’s challenges? Do you ever find yourself thinking that once you get what you’re working towards, things will be easier? As we navigate through life, we face unexpected difficulties. Loss…
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Radiant Rebellion: A Guide to Empowerment, Gratitude and Joyful Living with Karen Walrond
There are things we often refrain from doing because we don’t know how to do them. I recently read a book that opened a new window of possibilities for me, helping me see things I wouldn’t have been able to see before. I am thrilled to welcome Karen Walrond back to the show this week. […]
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Embracing Authenticity: Navigating Life’s Unexpected Emotions
Sometimes emotions come unexpectedly and surprise us. When they do, it can be tempting to run away from them and keep ourselves busy with work or seek artificial happiness. This week, I talk about emotions and authenticity, a topic that has become more personal to me due to an unexpected loss. I...
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Vulnerability in Leadership: Navigating the Feedback Journey
Whether it’s at home or in the workplace, we are all leading different aspects of our lives. One of the responsibilities of a leader is to provide feedback, which takes a lot of courage and is very vulnerable. In this week’s episode, I talk about what you need to bring into the room as a […]
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Grow Your Self-Awareness: Being
There was a time in my life when I felt a lot of shame about how I lived day-to-day and had many judgments about what was supposed to be, instead of examining why it was this way. Oftentimes, we have an all-or-nothing mindset that makes us believe that if we can’t make a full change […]
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Grow Your Self-Awareness: Emotions
Last week, I discussed how to grow self-awareness through mindset. On today’s episode, we look at emotions. While we are all emotional beings, some of us don’t have a language for emotions or maybe we’ve been told that emotions are weak. One thing you can do to grow your self-awareness is to…
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Grow Your Self-Awareness: Mindset
Some of our beliefs are shaped by what our parents have told us, by our family origins, or by something we pick up culturally or in a television show. Our beliefs guide us into thinking in a way that is not necessarily aligned with our true mindset. They can also make us do what we […]
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Being your best self every day
As the new year approaches, there’s a lot of talk about being your best self for 2024. While the definition varies from one person to another, something high achievers all have in common is setting unrealistic standards for what it means to be our best selves. This week, I discuss what being your...
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How to decide what can & can’t be dropped
At this point in the turn of the year, there is a lot of messaging about what we can do to live better in the new year to come. As high achievers, we have the expectation that we can continuously add to our list. What we don’t consider is that if we add something, we […]
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Taking care of yourself this holiday season
During the holiday season, we try to do everything that is expected from us, but there is one important thing that we don’t always take the time for: ourselves. What it means to take care of yourself varies from person to person. For some of my clients, it involves scheduling every holiday...
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Unnecessary suffering in the thoughts we think
Our brains have the capacity to make up stories and to create tragedies in which we are the main character. While some stories are happy, the thoughts we entertain can also contribute directly to the pain in our lives. Often, there is something underneath those stories worth exploring. In this...
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I’m such a perfectionist
Do you ever get home from work and find yourself dwelling on the one thing that went bad that day rather than celebrating the many good things you achieved? It doesn’t take long to acknowledge ourselves, yet it’s something perfectionists rarely do. Focusing on thriving is a survival instinct, but...
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The Holiday Season
Now that Thanksgiving has passed, paving the way for the holidays, it is normal to feel excitement as well as resentment. After all, we often look forward to an idealized notion of the holidays, rather than the reality of what we may experience at that time of the year. It can bring us joy to […]
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Unnecessary suffering in the choices you make
I dislike the cold, and even though I live in California, I can say that I have never enjoyed cold weather. For a long time, I put myself in a situation that didn’t make my life more enjoyable during that season: I didn’t turn on the heat. We sometimes make choices that cause us unnecessary […]
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Stop judging yourself
Why are our achievements overshadowed by our perception of the time taken to reach them? Too often, we judge ourselves or compare our journey to that of others before celebrating our victories. The truth is, we often only see other people’s achievements from the outside and don’t see the…
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Coming to an end
Do you sometimes feel like you can’t help but be bittersweet when things come to an end? Endings certainly come with a lot of mixed and competing feelings. Accepting the reality that some things have ended puts us in a vulnerable place. We can feel left to ourselves with our fear of the unknown.…
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The vulnerability of relationships
Communication in relationships can sometimes feel murky. This week, we emphasize the significance of honest and vulnerable communication. I’ll share a mantra and an example of my daughter’s candid communication during her childhood. It’s true that communication in relationships can lead to...
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The obstacles of receiving
Have you ever offered a compliment only to have it shrugged off or downplayed? Or perhaps you’ve found it challenging to truly accept a compliment yourself? Both giving and receiving compliments can leave us feeling vulnerable. This week, we discuss the challenges of connecting and the obstacles...
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7 Lessons on the 17th Anniversary of How She Really Does It (Part 2)
Welcome back to the celebration of 17 years of How She Really Does It! Last week, we started exploring the 7 lessons that have helped me to succeed along the way and today we’re going to continue with the remaining lessons. The lessons I share today are ones that I continue to use because they […]
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7 Lessons on the 17th Anniversary of How She Really Does It (Part 1)
It’s been 17 years since I started the podcast! To celebrate, I’m reflecting on how far I’ve come and sharing 7 lessons that I’ve learned along the way. Today’s episode features 3 lessons on getting started. Beginnings are always murky. Looking back there were so many reasons NOT to pursue my...
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Intrinsic + Extrinsic Motivation
Do you know your why? What is it that keeps you striving? This week we look at intrinsic and extrinsic motivation through the lens of my AquaMonsters swim team. My Aquamonsters go from being ribbon-motivated to finding benefit in the process of swimming. Learn why, and what types of motivation my...
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From not enough to belonging: Stories from camp
Do you ever feel like you’re the only one experiencing hardship? You might look at the people around you and think that they are so far ahead of you and you are falling behind, which can trigger feelings of shame. Shame and a lack of belonging can be infectious. Without bringing awareness to…
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How to lean into resistance
One of my superpowers lies in my ability to overcome resistance, and this week, I want to share a few stories from my recent camp reunion trip where I had the opportunity to put this superpower into action. It was a weekend filled with unexpected challenges and hurdles, and it reminded me of the...
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When you know what to do and don’t do it
Sometimes life runs away with us and the resulting overwhelm keeps us from following our inner knowledge and tools. Being an entrepreneur is no walk in the park. It takes many skills, commitments, and time for REST. However, it’s important to remember that moments of struggle can also be key...
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Sobriety with Andrea Owen
When you struggle with drinking, the problem (and pain) is often far beyond the glass. As my guest this week shares, this problem looks different for everybody, and it often falls into the grey zone. This week, I’m joined by author, global keynote speaker, and professional certified life coach,...
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We don’t all have the same 24 hours in a day
We are told that we all have the same 24-hour day. But the reality is more complicated than that. We all have different circumstances, support systems, and resources. Those successful people you admire have teams of invisible support systems behind the scenes. But here’s the good news – you…
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Invisible skillsets
Can you identify the inner workings of your mind while you’re having a stressful experience? OR unpack the brain’s stories before they talk you out of the running and into a hole? This ability to understand emotions is often considered a weakness in corporate environments. But it is an invisible...
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Unlock your leadership potential
Do you consider yourself a leader? I’m here to tell you that no matter what your title is at work (or at home), you have huge leadership potential. Leaders look for and see the unrealized potential in people and processes. If you’re a parent, you do this! If you’re an entrepreneur, you do this!…
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Embracing parenting hardship
Parenting, a journey filled with both joys and hardships, presents itself as one of life’s greatest challenges. Just when you start feeling confident and capable, new phases of growth emerge, bringing along fresh sets of hurdles. Remember, you are never alone in this journey. As a coach, I am…
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Other people’s judgment
Part of our human experience is dealing with the judgments of others. Whether it’s family members or someone at work, when we feel judged, it can trigger a slew of reactions. This week we look at effective and ineffective methods for dealing with judgment. We look closely at shame and how we...
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Achieve BIG GOALS with Small Steps
If you’re like me, you’ve got big audacious goals. But sometimes, your big goals might bring you down because they’re overwhelming, abstract, and hard to know how to achieve. This week rather than thinking about the big goal, we look at the importance of knowing the next small step. Having the...
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Stop asking these 2 questions
Do you ever find that the thing you thought you had to do, isn’t actually the right path forward? Rather than saying “what am I missing?” or “am I doing it right?” I encourage you to see beyond these binaries. We can always learn from experiences, get feedback, and make space for new solutions....
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Achieving your dreams
Are you hard on yourself? A perfectionist? Sometimes, we miss that we are already living our dreams because we are so busy with our heads down, moving on to whatever is next. Our goals and dreams are essential to identify, fight for, and then celebrate. By making space to recognize our successes...
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Birthday Learnings + Unlearnings
High-performers often have a habit of putting themselves last. I know this because I’ve lived this. So, this year for my birthday, I am committed to putting myself first for the next 30 years. Birthdays provide us with time to reflect and cultivate clarity. I’ve found the more that I can be clear...
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Inside our messy minds
Building the tool of self-awareness is essential for identifying strengths and moving through your thoughts. Re-framing the stories within your head takes time, ownership, and assistance. We all have messy minds. Limiting beliefs come up no matter how successful you are. When you can identify the...
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Creating resilient cultures
Many of my clients have been telling me they’ve been feeling shame, anxiety, fear, and frustration lately. They feel grief for the world. And when things are going well, they are just waiting for the other shoe to drop. These emotions are intense. When we can sit with and process through them, we...
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Making time for you
Unscheduled Sundays are sacred time. I am a high performer, and I know that a lot of downtime is required for me (and all high performers) to sustain performance over time. This weekend, I shared time with two incredible friends of mine. It was so refreshing to take the time to learn from the...
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Vulnerable Talk: Creating Communication Rules
Cell phone, landline, text, WhatsApp, email, Zoom… the list goes on of how to reach out and connect. These methods are all great ways to communicate, but without boundaries in your communication techniques and channels, you risk communication fatigue. Finding time to reach out by picking up the...
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What celebrating looks like
Wins come in all shapes and sizes: big goals to “yay me” moments. My clients are high-performers who are hard on themselves and unfortunately, this keeps them from celebrating their wins. Finding the time to honor and celebrate makes all the difference. Even in your busiest moments, you have the...
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Why traveling to Europe as a family may not be ideal
Family travel can be hard to manage for many reasons. Your money mindset, scheduling time, and assumed parental obligations all impact your trip. When my kids were in high school, I noticed a lot of families taking their kids to Europe, and a lot of emotional fallback afterwards due to different...
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Grant yourself permission to care deeply
As we confront different situations in life, what if we used the tools of awe and wonder? Kindness and compassion? Giving yourself permission to care for yourself is huge but it doesn’t have to be extravagant. It can be simple enjoyments and wonder-building moments that allow us to settle…
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Spring clean your home & your mindset
Celebrating wins, small and large, is essential. It fills us up and allows us to see our successes in the midst of challenging times. One thing I’m celebrating this week is spring cleaning. Decluttering is a skill that takes time to cultivate. This week I am using a thought introduced to me by...
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Navigating cultural barriers to achieve the life of your dreams
Life is no fairytale. It is filled with ups and downs, sadness and joy. The messiness of life is also where we find beauty and meaning; it is where our leadership shines. Leadership takes time and practice. We learn from experiences, showing up, doing the work, and making adjustments. How we…
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The family field trip
I couldn’t have done my most recent trip at any other time of my life. I went with 20 of my family members to Korea, 7 households, all different schedules. We took my mom to Korea, her home country. Sometimes the time to go is now. My mom at 82 had not been back to […]
About this show
Koren. Motekaitis host of How She Really Does It, provides the place where inspiration + possibility meet. Each week Koren interviews a special guest: thought leader, best selling author, researcher, someone with a story to provide the glimmer of possibilities for you. The show is about living more fully in yourself. We talk about health, mindset, money, weight loss, entrepreneurship, family, parenting, compassion, career to help you create the life you want. Join us for the next conversation at www.howshereallydoesit.com.
Hosted by
Koren Motekaitis