How To Love Yourself No Matter What
by Amanda Hess: Certified Life Coach for women ready to heal past hurt and finally thrive
You're still replaying that conversation from six days ago.The one where you said the wrong thing, or said nothing at all, and you've been rewriting it in your head ever since. You've read the books. You've listened to the podcasts. You've taken the advice, and you're still lying awake at 11pm running the tape back.Here's what nobody tells you — you can't think your way out of overthinking. Not when your nervous system is still convinced that if you just analyze it hard enough, you'll finally get it right and nobody will be disappointed in you.You learned that somewhere. You were probably very young. And it worked, which is exactly why it's so hard to put down.This podcast is for overthinkers who are done holding it all together and ready to feel at home in their own skin. The women who are smart and capable and self-aware, and still can't shake the feeling they're surviving instead of living.Each week, Amanda Hess, Certified Life Coach and straight-talking deep-feeler, shares hon
Episodes
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S2 E5. No Motivation? How to Stop Putting Off the Things You Want to Do
If you’re waiting to feel motivated before you change something, you’re going to be waiting forever. Ninety percent of what I do in my life, I don’t do because I’m motivated. I do it because I’ve decided. In this episode I talk about why the thing you know is a good idea keeps getting pushed to...
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S2 E4. Why Couples Counseling Isn’t Helping Your Marriage (and It’s Not Your Fault)
You went to couples counseling to fix things. You sat on the couch, you did the homework, maybe for years, and now you feel worse than when you started. On top of that, you’re more convinced than ever that you’re the problem. You’re not, and your marriage might not be doomed either. You may just...
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S2 E3. Overthinking Your Teens and Adult Kids? Let Go, Grieve, and Love Them Anyway
Letting go of your kids is a skill, and nobody teaches it to you. When they’re small, their survival is your job, so you learn to watch everything, manage everything and fix everything. Then they grow up, the job changes slowly, and your brain keeps doing the old one anyway. In this episode I…
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S2 E2. You Don’t Need to Calm Down. Your Brain Needs a Different Job.
If you’re an overthinker, you’ve probably been told to calm down, think more positively, or learn to meditate. I don’t think that’s what’s missing. Your brain is a workhorse. It wants to work, and if you don’t give it something to do, it’s going to go find problems. And it will always find them.…
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S2 E1. Why You Can't Control Your Emotions (and How to Be Their Boss Instead)
A few weeks ago I got a no. I applied for something I really wanted, something that would have been a big deal for me and my business, and I didn't get picked. I'm not going to tell you what it was because it doesn't matter. What matters is what happened in the 4 seconds after I read the email,...
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332. Why Fall Feels So Hard (and How to Let Bittersweet Through)
Bittersweet is the feeling of saying hello and goodbye at the same time, and if you're resisting it, you're in a lot more pain than you need to be. In this episode I talk about the seasonal change we're in right now, both the one happening outside your window and the one happening in your life....
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331. Your Sensitivity Means You're Cold-Blooded (And Why Your Environment Matters So Much)
The main point: a lot of us are essentially “cold-blooded” — meaning neurodivergent, ADHD-leaning, or simply sensory-sensitive — and our capacity to function hinges on the micro-environmental inputs we can control, so the real leverage is finding and installing your own “warm rocks.” I say this…
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330. How to Stop Playing It Safe (and Why It's Making You Miserable)
I'm at an international adult figure skating competition this week, and it got me thinking about why we stop doing hard things — and what happens to us when we do. This episode is about doing the hard thing. Not the hard things that life hands you without asking — the sickness, the loss, the...
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329. What If It Wasn't You? Internalized Blame with Maggie Reyes
Something goes wrong and your very first thought is "what did I do?" An unexpected meeting lands on your calendar and you spend the whole week reviewing everything you might have messed up. Someone's in a bad mood and you're already scanning for how it was you. That reflex has a name, it's called...
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328. The Anti-Hero: Why Nothing You've Tried Has Worked
Somewhere along the way, you were taught there was something wrong with you. How you looked, how you spoke, how you were in the world. So you spent years trying to prove that wrong, and no matter how hard you worked at it, you kept coming up short. You don't feel like a hero. A lot of days, you...
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327. The Secret to Crushing Burnout: A Chat with Annabelle
Today I have my client Annabelle on the podcast, and I'm so glad she said yes. When Annabelle and I first started working together, she was sitting in the car with her husband in tears. They had just moved from Denver to Northwest Arkansas with a 4 year old and no family nearby, she had opened a...
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326. If Punishing Yourself Worked, You'd Have Healed By Now
If punishing yourself worked, you'd have healed by now. That's a line I said in a class recently, and I can't stop coming back to it. Most of us have been taught that when we're not getting what we want in life, the fix is to punish ourselves. We just don't call it that. We call it "holding…
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325. Invisible Sin: The Truth About The Woman Who Cheats
Today we're talking about something I've wanted to make an episode about for a long time: infidelity. Specifically, the woman who cheats. If that's you, I already know you're carrying a crushing weight — the secrecy, the panic, the shame society piles on top. Because we've all been told that...
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324. Everybody is not an idiot. Not even you. Why changing this one belief will change your entire life for the better
This episode is all about judgment: why we're so quick to hand out labels, and what happens when we stop. It started with a lightbulb moment at a family gathering that turned into a bit of a masterclass in how fast our brains reach for judgment over understanding. We're digging into why choosing…
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323. Leaning Into the Messy Life — Why Deciding Life Is Supposed to Be Messy Will Save Your Happiness
Life is messy. Yours, mine, everyone's. And somewhere along the way we decided that was the problem. Something to clean up before we're allowed to be happy. It's not. I'm Amanda Hess, certified life coach, and this episode is about a trap I watch women live in for years. The "I'll be happy when."...
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322. Summer Shame: Why Sunshine Doesn't Always Equal Happiness
Summer isn’t always the sun-soaked paradise we imagine it to be, and today, we’re diving headfirst into the sticky, sometimes cringe-worthy world of summertime shame. It’s a unique flavor of shame that creeps up on us when we’re basking in the sun, and trust me, I’ve seen it pop up in all sorts…
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321. Why You Don't Have a Self-Love Problem, But a Shame Problem
Here's this episode: I'm going after the thing nobody wants to name. Everyone tells you the problem is that you don't love yourself enough. It's not. The problem is shame. That's it. That's the whole thing. Shame is what shows up the second you're anything less than perfect, and every single…
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320. Take Back Your Life: The Case Against Responsibility Hoarding
Are you a responsibility hoarder? Well, if you've ever felt like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, this episode is right up your alley! We’re diving headfirst into the intriguing concept of responsibility hoarding, a term that packs a punch and might just hit a little too...
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319. Sometimes the Truth Doesn't Serve You
Alright, folks! So today we’re diving headfirst into the wild world of self-criticism and the liberating idea that sometimes, the truth just doesn’t serve us. Picture this: you drop a glass and suddenly you’re the clumsy villain of your own story! But guess what? It’s time to flip the script! I’m...
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318. Navigating Family Drama Like a Pro: Patterns, Pleasing, and Perception!
Alright, folks, let’s dive into some juicy family dynamics! Today, we're peeling back the layers on why family gatherings feel like stepping into a well-rehearsed play where everyone knows their lines—especially those cringe-worthy ones. The real kicker? It’s not about the events themselves; it's...
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317. Accountability Or Self-Love — The hidden shame of motivation and accountability
DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU SET A GOAL, PUSH HARD FOR A FEW DAYS—AND THEN FALL OFF AND WONDER WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? Like no matter how many times you try, you can't seem to make yourself do the things you say you want to do? If that's you, this episode is going to change how you see yourself....
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316. What Happens When the Helper Can't Handle You (When Coaches & Therapists Shame You)
What Happens When the Helper Can't Handle You There is a systemic failure happening in the helping industry — and nobody is talking about it. Coaches and therapists are opening emotional doors they are completely unprepared to sit in. And when you show up authentically — crying, angry…
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How To Become The Woman You Secretly Want To Be
Do you ever feel like there’s a version of you that wants more out of life… More joy. More confidence. More freedom. More YOU. But every time you try to move toward her, something pulls you back? In this episode, we’re talking about identity, possibility, and why becoming the woman you want to be...
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314. Silence Your Inner Critic: The Power of Quiet Time
Today I’m talking about something I see constantly in women who are overwhelmed, emotionally reactive, anxious, or stuck in survival mode: the inability to slow down and be alone with themselves. So many of us are constantly doing. Working, parenting, helping everyone else, consuming self-help,...
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313. How to Build a Fuck Yes Life With a Sensitive Brain
Let me tell you, if you’ve ever felt like you just can’t shake off a past hurt, you’re in for a treat. We’re diving into the fascinating world of trauma—what it really is and why it affects us all differently. I’m talking about the sneaky ways that emotional pain can manifest in our daily lives,...
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312. You Don’t Need More Self-Improvement
Alright friend, grab your gardening gloves because today we’re talking about something really important: how to create a life that actually blooms. The biggest takeaway from this episode? I think we spend way too much time pulling weeds and not nearly enough time planting flowers. You know how in...
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311. Why Mantras & Journaling Aren’t Working (And What To Do Instead)
If you’ve been repeating affirmations, journaling your thoughts, and still feeling stuck… we need to talk. Because it’s not that you’re doing it wrong. It’s that these tools aren’t actually designed to create the kind of change you’re looking for. In this episode, I’m breaking down why mantras…
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310. Why You Feel “Too Emotional” (And Why You’re Not)
If you’ve ever thought “why am I so emotional?” or felt like you’re just too sensitive for this world, this episode is going to shift everything. Because what if the problem isn’t your emotions… but what you’ve been taught to believe about them? In this episode, I’m breaking down the hidden...
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309. How to Stop Feeling Like You’re Perpetually Dismissed
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308. Why You Can't Let Things Go (It's Not Your Fault)
Do you ever feel like you just… can’t let things go? Like something happens and other people move on—but you’re still thinking about it days, weeks, or even years later? If that’s you, this episode is going to change how you see yourself. Because it’s not that you’re overreacting. And it’s not…
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307. Sensitive Not Fragile
If you’ve been told your whole life that you’re “too sensitive”… and somewhere along the way you started believing that meant you’re fragile… This episode is for you. Because sensitivity is not the problem. But not understanding how to work with it? That’s where things start to break. In this...
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306. Deciding You Are Relevant - How To Stop Feeling Invisible In Your Life
What if the reason you feel invisible… isn’t actually about other people? In this episode, I’m sharing something that came up in a coaching session — and it hit deeper than I expected. Because while most of us wouldn’t say “I feel irrelevant,” we feel it in subtle ways: When someone doesn’t…
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305. Feeling Overwhelmed? Plant Yourself in the Moment
This episode is a little different. It’s actually a practice I shared with my private clients this week while I’m in Hawaii — and I wanted to bring it here because it’s something you can use in real time when you feel anxious, overwhelmed, or stuck in your head. This is about what I call planting...
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304. 50 Years in This Nervous System: 10 More Lessons for Sensitive Women (Boundaries, Resentment & Choosing Yourself)
In episode 302, I shared the first 10 lessons I’ve learned from living 50 years with a sensitive nervous system. Today we’re continuing with the next 10. These lessons are about something I think many sensitive women struggle with: emotional adulthood. Many of us are technically adults, but we’re...
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303. The Real Reason Adult Friendships Feel So Hard
Many women say they want deeper friendships. They want their people — the women they can laugh with, text, and go for coffee or brunch with. But there’s a hidden pattern that quietly blocks connection. When we walk into rooms believing that nobody likes us, we become hyper-focused on ourselves —...
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302. 50 Years in This Nervous System: 10 Lessons for Sensitive Women
I turned 50 this week. And I’ll be honest — this birthday feels different. There’s awareness. There’s fear. There’s grief. And there’s a level of self-trust I would have begged for in my twenties. In this episode, I’m starting a 5-part series sharing 50 things I know at 50 about being a sensitive...
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301. The Missing Half of Emotional Wellness: Why Fixing Yourself Isn’t the Answer
If you’ve been trying to “fix” yourself for years… this episode might change everything. So much of the emotional wellness space is focused on one thing: Getting rid of what’s wrong. The anxiety. The stress. The overthinking. The guilt. The burnout. The trauma. And while support matters, here’s...
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300. Love Yourself No Matter What (My Most Important Message Yet)
Hey my beautiful friend… I can’t believe I’m saying this, but welcome to Episode 300. When I started this podcast, I had no idea if anyone would listen… or if I’d even keep going. But here we are — and today I want to revisit the most important message I’ve ever shared: Loving yourself no matter...
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299. Why You Don’t Feel Like You Belong (Even When You’re Included)
Show notes coming soon
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298. Big Girls Do Cry
I’m recording this one off the cuff, because it matters. I cry a lot. I cry every day. Sometimes I cry because I’m sad. Sometimes I cry because I’m angry, happy, proud — or because I just need to cry. I’ve always been this way, and if you’re listening to this, you probably are too. In this…
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297. How Sensitive Women Can Navigate Emotional Pain Without Losing Themselves
Sensitive women feel deeply — and for many, emotional pain can feel overwhelming, unsafe, or impossible to sit with. There’s often a fear that if you really let yourself feel it, you’ll fall apart and won’t be able to recover. In this episode, I unpack why emotional pain feels so intense for...
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296. The Truth About Jealousy (And How It Shows You What You Want)
Jealousy is one of the most misunderstood emotions — and one of the most shamed. Most of us were never taught how to feel jealousy without turning it against ourselves or others. In this episode, I unpack what jealousy actually is, why it hurts so much, and how it can either become a source of...
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295. Belonging, Rejection & Why You Reject Yourself In Advance
Belonging is one of our most basic human needs — but what if the biggest thing standing in the way of feeling like you belong isn’t other people… it’s you? In this episode, I break down why rejection feels so painful, how micro-rejections accumulate over time, and why so many of us unconsciously...
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294. Why January 1st Feels Heavy (And Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work)
If you’re listening to this in January (or any other time of the year) and feeling heavy, flat, emotional, or quietly overwhelmed — this episode is for you. January 1st is supposed to feel hopeful. Fresh. Motivating. But for so many women, it actually brings pressure, comparison, and a deep sense...
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293. You Are Not Who You Think You Are: How to Change Your Self-Concept
As the year comes to a close, many of us are taking stock — not just of what we did, but of who we believe we are. In this episode, we’re talking about self-concept: the thoughts and beliefs you hold about yourself, how they were formed, and how they quietly shape your emotions, relationships…
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292. Feeling Is Inevitable. Suffering Is Optional.
Feeling is part of being human. Suffering is not. In this episode, Amanda breaks down the crucial difference between feeling emotions and suffering because of them. You’ll hear a raw, honest reflection on what it’s like to try to “hold it all together,” why doing more never actually fixes…
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291. Why Emotional Burnout Happens (and How to Prevent It)
What most women call overwhelm or anxiety is often something deeper: emotional burnout — the kind that happens when you’ve spent years trying to tolerate your emotions instead of learning how to expand your capacity for them. In today’s episode, I’m sharing a private training from the podcast I...
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Setting Powerful Boundaries Without Fear
The holidays bring everything — family dynamics, overwhelm, expectations, pressure — and underneath it all is the fear of speaking up in a way that feels good. In this episode, we break down what a boundary actually is, why it feels so hard to set one, and how fear and nervous system…
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289. Overthinking Part 3: How to Change the Beliefs That Keep You Stuck
If you’ve spent your whole life trying to “think more positively,” “change your mindset,” or “just stop spiraling,” this episode is going to shift everything for you. Because here’s the truth most sensitive women never get taught: Thoughts are not facts. They never have been. But when your…
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288. Overthinking Part 2: You Don’t Have a Thought Problem — You Have an Emotion Problem
If you’ve been trying to “fix” your overthinking by changing your thoughts, but nothing ever seems to stick, here’s the truth: You don’t have a thought problem — you have an emotion problem. When your emotions feel too big, too fast, or too overwhelming for your system, your brain does the only...
About this show
You're still replaying that conversation from six days ago.The one where you said the wrong thing, or said nothing at all, and you've been rewriting it in your head ever since. You've read the books. You've listened to the podcasts. You've taken the advice, and you're still lying awake at 11pm running the tape back.Here's what nobody tells you — you can't think your way out of overthinking. Not when your nervous system is still convinced that if you just analyze it hard enough, you'll finally get it right and nobody will be disappointed in you.You learned that somewhere. You were probably very young. And it worked, which is exactly why it's so hard to put down.This podcast is for overthinkers who are done holding it all together and ready to feel at home in their own skin. The women who are smart and capable and self-aware, and still can't shake the feeling they're surviving instead of living.Each week, Amanda Hess, Certified Life Coach and straight-talking deep-feeler, shares hon
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Amanda Hess: Certified Life Coach for women ready to heal past hurt and finally thrive
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