PODCAST · science
ICUE&MESH
by Turquoise Etoile
Ideals Code of Universal Ethics/Mental Health Ethics & Social Health
Episodes
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They're After Me
It's my third day out of the IOP and out of their informal aversion therapy. They're still calling me they're still trying to pick me up in the van. And I am ignoring them.
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Ideals code of universal ethics: Modesty
The antidote to low self-esteem and grandiosity.
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Ideals Code of Universal Ethics: Gratitude
Why I believe we must have gratitude.
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Turning my limerence over
Join me in prayer as my struggle with my crush continues and I attempt to turn it over to my higher power. This is my own experience strength and hope.
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A New Kind Of Harassment: "Soft" Ghosting
Most people change their phone numbers or shut down their voicemails or their phones to keep active phone harassment out. But there is a new kind of harassment going on and it's called soft ghosting and in my opinion it isn't so soft because the feeling that it evokes is not a soft feeling at…
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It was not meant to be
Struggling to end an interaction that never should have been. (Religion mentioned) You can look up my other podcast if you want hopefully there's more information there about what's been going on. https://open.spotify.com/show/...
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Is LGBTQ+ Really An Abomination?
Repeatedly people use the argument about Sodom and Gomorrah to condemn lgbtq+ people. And it is for that reason that I and many others feel like we have to be silent about being lgbtq+. It's still permeating in our society and it's still leaking into my therapy program that I go to. At least two...
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"Limerents Anonymous"
I'm grateful to the 12th step programs in the United States and around the world, especially Alcoholics Anonymous. I truly believe that I cannot deal with my problem alone. I need a power greater than myself. I need other people going through this. I need shared experience strength and hope right...
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Next Time They "Want You", Remember When They Didn't
They may have hugged you, they may have told you they loved you, they may have told you that you brightened their day, the meet and greet may have been wonderful and starry, the phone date may have promised to follow up phone call. In my case none of that happened. There was a meet and greet.…
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Dear Olga: I Will Never Stop Loving You. BUT...
It's too late now to save this friendship. Here's why. (I describe a synopsis of 9 months of my struggle to try, in vain, to make a friendship work) I believe that it's one of those things where we're both right and both wrong.
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My Limerent Interest Is Getting In Again!
For the millionth time I've attempted to detach from her and she still got in yesterday and today ignored me again. I share some more of my struggle and keep hoping that I find my way out. For more information please refer to the videos before this one. Turquoise
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Who Can We Trust As U.S. President 2024? A NONCORPORATE!
Kamala Harris may divert votes back to Democrats support. I'm voting for Green. Beware --- both candidates sound good against Trump dictatorship, but one is noncorporate. Guess who?
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Anti-Limerence Meditation - Part 2 "Seeing The Person As They Are
I did another episode this morning and I'm going to call it part 1. Please refer to that one before you watch this one. This is part 2. "Seeing them as they are", not seeing them with a limerent idea of them.
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Anti-Limerence Meditation Exercise - Part 1 "No Contact"
I walk myself and anyone interested through a meditation to deal with recovery from limerence. This is my own personal walkthrough.
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No Contact: The Only Antidote To Limerence ( When Connection DOESN'T Stick!)
Two weeks ago I thought I had said goodbye to Olga for good with one last text. But since she's still there every day, and since one of the counselors set us up, as I had discovered he had been doing for months with us, for those weeks past I've had to run into her and deal with more up and down.…
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Is it In My Head, Or Is It Really Happening?
I'm struggling with the boundary between my mental illness and reality right now. Because I'm living in a world full of mental illness too. I talk about my current issues, past and present diagnoses, more experience as a peer with mental illness.
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Update announcement
You are perfectly welcome to go on my old podcast (s). It looks like I will be on here from now on because one of the podcast platforms is not user friendly and the other one is limiting me to only one episode a month for free. Peace everyone.
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How To Not Feel Victimy
I share my own experience with the situation where I have to bow to the absurd. Please refer to other episodes about how I am handling things at my IOP. I am being covertly mistreated there. But I need the program right now I'm not ready to leave..
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"Confidentiality Rules" Caused Misunderstanding
The result was the loss of a friendship. By the time I got the information necessary to understand someone, I had had to end the friendship.
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Take Your Medicine - She's NOT INTERESTED.
I talk about the concept of hitting a "restore button" in our brains. I think about going back to February 10th when Olga, my limerent interest, asked if she could call me again after our initial phone date that day. Her not calling me the next day spoke volumes and I should have listened.
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Limerence Recovery: One Last Text. REALLY.
Closure is exactly what it is. It's closure. It's not wishful thinking. I sent Olga one last text and walked away. I may have to run into her when I'm checking the group posts at IOP because the posting is in the patio where she sometimes still sits for her lunch. But I am making a very big…
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Love: How Many Times Must I Learn This Lesson?
Falling over and over again with Olga. When this time I thought she reached out to me. So I reached back and fell again.
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Are you in recovery or are you being extreme?
I practice five modules of mental wellness and I'm careful to avoid the shadow sides of each module. This episode is about how I explained that. Is our mental wellness process authentic or are we practicing the shadow modules: extremism, perfectionism, entitlement, spiritual bypass, health…
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Kindness Is Boring?
Kindness will save our world and us. Can you imagine what the world would really be like if it were always interesting? I think we would crash and burn. I truly do. In this episode I talk about how I was bullied in group therapy because someone saw me as boring and domineering. I also talked…
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Ghosted? Distanced? Wish They Would Share?
If someone is being lukewarm to you or cold or cool to you while you're being hot or warm to them, learn to give them the same treatment they're giving you. Stop having fantasies about it working out. It's very likely they don't want to deal with you. Face this cold hard truth and take care of...
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I Can't Believe I Thought He Actually CARED.
Last night I found a voicemail from my counselor asking me "if I was okay" and "do you need any support..." etc. Hoping remotely that I could reach someone human there, at last, I left him a message stating that I was suspicious of being dogged out by a phone block from the desk lady. Radio…
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Being A Loner And Disconnected Again
I share my experience with not being able to connect with a woman I met at IOP that I was hoping could still be friends with me and letting her go. I also share a little bit about isolation and how important it is to fix our "picker" , as we go out again and be around people.
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ICUE&MESH - TREAT PSYCHIATRIC PATIENTS WITH RESPECT
Leaving IOP because my phone got blocked, they got angry with me for reporting and checking on repairs with a stall door lock in the bathroom, they forgotten to pick me up on my admission day back in October and they got angry with me for self-transporting! Of all the audacity and the denial of...
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Whatever is necessary - ICUE&MESH
To put my ideas out there. There is a need for mental health for all and I can do it!
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Latest episodes and information announcement
Since Spotify for podcasters is integrating into Riverside and giving me very very confusing information on how to navigate, I will be on here on speaker, on YouTube, and still on Spotify and not on that podcast as much. Unless and until I can navigate the systems I will only be on here. Here is...
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Kent State shooting: What Gerald Casale Said
From an interview.
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Kent State University Shooting Anniversary 2024
Many people do not know how the band Devo got founded. I found out several years ago. It wasn't what I expected.
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My Faith Was Tested
I got called out for disclosing misinformation about the birth of Jesus. But there's no evidence to prove it either. There's no evidence to prove it either way. Although I have trouble believing in theology meaning that a holy spirit impregnated Mary, my mind is certainly open to any amazing...
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How I Believe In God
I may not believe the way many expect that one might but I do believe. I believe because I have chosen to believe. I believe because I have chosen to believe the way I need to believe in God.
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When You Sin, You Are Not Just Sinning. YOU'RE DYING!
I share my experience strength and hope with spiritual death and spiritual illness being connected with physical illness or exhaustion.
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SUPER Positive Version/ SIX COMMANDMENTS ICUE
This is the *purely positive* version of my six Commandments that I wrote for my church within, the ideal Church Of Universal Ethics. I have realized that the brain will hear precisely what it hears, including the words that it hears after a negative word. It is more effective to program the…
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Friendship, Jealousy, Romance and ETHICS
I talk about behavior that I'm suspecting but have trouble validating because it is under the radar. I describe a very awkward situation with a couple of people that I met in the intensive outpatient program.
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What Is Self Esteem?
True self esteem is not self adoration. True self-esteem is self-respect and loving ourselves the way God does.
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Getting On My Knees
I surrender all Mammon desire right now in your name Jesus.
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How I Accepted The Lord
By religion and by science.
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Coping With Transference (Romantic Feelings)/Therapy
I talk about my attitude behavior and feelings when dealing with transference towards staff and patients, after reentering intensive outpatient.
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Struggle With A Dangerous Mindset
It's hard to advocate yourself let alone ask for help when you think you don't even have a case about mental illness being a disability.
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ICUE - My Church Within
Ideals Church (Code) of Universal Ethics. This is an idea not a church. It is my own spiritual belief system which I use in conjunction with my mental wellness process. This is the way I believe this is my opinion.
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does ICUE&MESH have?
ICUE&MESH currently has 45 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is ICUE&MESH about?
Ideals Code of Universal Ethics/Mental Health Ethics & Social Health
How often does ICUE&MESH release new episodes?
ICUE&MESH has 45 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to ICUE&MESH?
You can listen to ICUE&MESH on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts ICUE&MESH?
ICUE&MESH is created and hosted by Turquoise Etoile.
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