PODCAST · comedy
If You Would’ve Told Me
by Joe Fernandes
Joe Fernandes & Emily Paige bring you their new podcast where they will tell stories, read stories, and make up stories. Please subscribe! You can email us any stories to [email protected]
Episodes
-
Attics, Affairs & Airplanes
Season 2 Finale! Joe and Emily wrap up another season by looking back on the podcast, talking summer vacations, Wildwood, Maine, lobster rolls, and what Season 3 might have in store. Then things get weird... ✈️ A flight instructor jumps out of a plane mid-flight and leaves his student to land it...
-
Married to a Chandelier
This week, we're catching up after a busy couple of weeks before diving into one of the strangest stories we've ever discussed—a woman who married a chandelier. From bizarre relationships and wedding "rules" to cheating confessions, age-gap debates, books, birthdays, and everything in between…
more -
Love, Lemons & Robberies
This week we're talking fitness, birthday cake, creepy exes, and some of the wildest dating stories we've ever heard. Emily starts a new boot camp, Joe discovers the perfect birthday cake recommendation, and then things take a turn when a woman allegedly sends her ex over 1,800 lemons... leading…
more -
Accidentally Controversial
Joe is back from Atlantis with stories about dolphins, lazy rivers, snorkeling adventures, and resort prices that should probably require a second mortgage. Emily plans a series of "Mommy-Ava" getaways while both hosts discuss burgers, summer weight gain, terrible stage photos, and the struggle…
more -
Too Lazy for Felonies
Joe and Emily spiral through high school memories, TikTok trends, book obsessions, and whether a great ending can save a mediocre novel. They debate face tattoos in the workplace, mourn the death of Blockbuster nights, talk baldness and hair experiments, react to a man refusing to work because he...
-
Burned by Bubbles
In this episode, Joe and Emily react to being called “ableist” over their audiobook take—and try to figure out how the internet heard something they definitely didn’t say. From there, things spiral (as usual) into a heated debate about Central Jersey, pork roll etiquette, and why you should never...
-
Cocaine Sharks & Crazy Ex Revenge
We dive into some of the most unhinged news stories we’ve ever covered. From a woman getting revenge on her ex by signing him up for 88 marathons, to the discovery of cocaine in sharks, to a Florida woman declaring herself the “Squirrel Queen”… yeah, this one goes off the rails fast. Along the…
more -
That’s A Girl Word
This week, we accidentally turned into a book club… and then immediately spiraled into chaos. Joe and Emily catch up after a short break, talk birthdays, and realize they both set the same goal to read 12 books this year—leading to a surprisingly deep (and hilarious) conversation about books,...
-
What If Your Thoughts Aren’t Yours?
This episode starts with a ridiculous “scream with no air” challenge and somehow turns into a deep dive on anxiety, panic attacks, creativity, spirituality, and whether we actually create our thoughts — or just receive them. Joe and Emily talk about: • Being anxious about getting anxious • Déjà…
more -
The Bad Bunny Internet Spiral
This week on If You Would’ve Told Me, we dive into the Super Bowl halftime show that had everyone talking — Bad Bunny! 🐰 From the viral memes, internet outrage, and political hot takes to flags, cultural pride, and representation for Puerto Rican and Latinx communities, we break down why this...
-
From Milk Duds to Marrying AI
This episode starts with cantaloupe hate and somehow ends with a woman marrying AI — and honestly, it all makes sense by the end. Joe and Emily riff on edible arrangements, candy nostalgia, and disastrous movie-theater first dates (including a near-death Milk Duds incident). Things take a turn…
more -
Something Feels Off
This week, Joe and Emily do what they do best: start recording before they realize they’re recording and let the conversation go wherever it wants. They debate coffee vs tea, spiral over why drip coffee is disappearing, and assign themselves questionable caffeine homework. Things take a turn into...
-
Anxiety vs. Intuition
Happy 2026! We’re back for the first episode of the year, and we’re getting intentional. We dive deep into the fine line between Anxiety vs. Intuition—discussing therapy breakthroughs, why journaling streaks are overrated, and how to actually feel "content" in the new year. But it’s not all deep...
-
Goober Nutter
We’re back from a short break and things get weird fast. We talk weird food (including deer heart and peanut butter crimes), anxiety coping habits, trusting your gut, and why “that’s just who I am” isn’t an excuse for bad behavior. Along the way, we spiral into flying rituals, shopping anxiety,...
-
Too Old for Slang?
This week, Joe and Emily dive into the wild world of modern slang — from Gen Alpha kids shouting “6–7” for no reason to grown adults still saying “dope,” “fire,” and every phrase that instantly makes us feel forty years older. They break down the slang they grew up with, the slang kids use now…
more -
Bananas in Pyjamas
We kick off with the strangest headline yet — Bananas in Pyjamas held for ransom by the Russian mafia — and somehow end up talking Scotland travel plans, ancient clan drama, surprise DNA results, and bald men getting kissed for science. 🍌 Just another normal day on If You Would’ve Told Me.
-
Who’s Giving Rats Cocaine?!
Things get weird fast in Episode 2! 🎉 Joe and Emily start off swapping stories about writing, poetry, and old photo albums… and somehow end up discussing poop-themed restaurants, modern-day plague cases, and rats that love jazz. 🐀🎷 Along the way, they laugh through nostalgia, bad technology…
more -
Easy There, Eagle Eyes
🎙️ Episode 1: “Easy There, Eagle Eyes” Season 2 kicks off with Joe and Emily catching up after summer break — and of course, the conversation goes everywhere. From the chaos of world headlines to the magic of aquariums, Disney trips, and summer comedy shows, they find humor in everything… even...
-
Kooky Crocodiles Get Down
It’s the Season 1 finale! Joe and Emily wrap up 23 episodes with a little bit of everything: Emily’s Iceland trip (trolls, puffins, and strict moss laws), a 400-year-old shark nicknamed Norma, and the bizarre story of a passenger who died mid-flight… only for their body to go missing. We also…
more -
Brutal & Beautiful New Jersey
Joe and Emily take a ChatGPT-fueled trip through what makes New Jersey famous. We debate accents, argue about skorts, and dive into the weirdest news stories - including dog pee drug tests, pole dancing military wives, and the horror movie idea you never knew you needed. It’s Brutal & Beautiful,...
-
ChatGPT Knows Us
Joe and Emily ask ChatGPT what it knows about their podcast, dive into the weird world of AI therapy, and unpack foodie calls, bro code drama, and TSA crotch scans. Plus, going viral for the wrong reasons, handling trolls, and why unsolicited robot validation might be all we need. 🎧 Subscribe &...
-
Bald Heads and Betrayal Bombs
Joe and Emily go from bald heads to betrayal bombs — literally. Joe shares how he lost his hair, got his mole flicked at Dunkin’ Donuts, and embraced the bald life. Emily opens up about her undercut era, bad haircuts, and questionable dye jobs. Then they dive into a viral cheating callout at a...
-
Repopulating the Islands
Would you move to a remote island for €84K? Joe and Emily explore real relocation offers from around the world—then spiral into hilarious fast food rankings 🍔, a $4,000 Dumb Dumb lollipop disaster 🍭, and why White Castle might cause mild depression 😅. Also in this episode: 🎨 Bob Ross...
-
And I Felt That
This week on If You Would’ve Told Me, Joe and Emily dive into “Would You Rather,” play a few rounds of F, Marry, Kill, and discuss whether two comedians dating is a good idea—or a disaster waiting to happen. We also unpack the internet’s favorite overused line: “And I felt that.” 🎧 Subscribe &...
-
Salmon Hats
This week on If You Would’ve Told Me, Joe and Emily talk weird animal facts like Orca whales and their fishy fashion sense, milking cockroaches, and stories about gambling losses and bombing on stage. It’s a wild mix of laughs, cringe, and random knowledge you didn’t know you needed.🎧 Subscribe…
more -
When Ya Know, Ya Know
This week on If You Would’ve Told Me, Joe and Emily talk therapy, relationships, and how do you know when you've met “The One”? Sometimes… ya just know. 🎧 Subscribe & Listen now Email us at [email protected] Please Follow, Rate, & Review! Full video available on Spotify & YouTube Follow @...
-
Swindlers
In this episode, we revisit the Netflix doc The Tinder Swindler and explore the question: Should you ever loan someone money in a relationship? Where's the line between trust and manipulation? We also discuss writing and developing ideas. Join us for a candid conversation on love, red flags, and...
-
Virtual Insanity
In this episode of If You Would’ve Told Me, Joe & Emily talk the early days of the internet and meeting people in AOL chat, phone addiction, concert stories, news stories, and more! 🎧 Subscribe & Listen now Email us at [email protected] Please Follow, Rate, & Review! Full video available on...
-
Travel Therapy
This week on If You Would’ve Told Me, Joe and Emily talk travel. From dream destinations to the ways travel can shift your mindset, they explore why getting away might just be the ultimate form of therapy. Plus, they unpack some news stories about travel pet peeves. It’s all on the itinerary.…
more -
Sleepwalk
In this episode of If You Would’ve Told Me, we dive into the wild world of sleepwalking—from bizarre personal stories to the science behind why some of us go on midnight adventures without remembering a thing. Then, we shift gears to a different kind of autopilot: phone addiction. Why do we find...
-
Mad Libs
This week on If You Would've Told Me Podcast, Joe tries Mad Libs for the first time! We also talk comedy and scriptwriting, plus dive into some news stories—like coffee reducing death and women rocking fake baby bumps. Check it out! Subscribe & Listen 🎧 Email us at [email protected] Please...
-
A Comic Writes A Poem
If you would’ve told us we’d be discussing a bizarre story involving cremation ashes, mapping out our travel bucket lists, and witnessing Joe’s one and only attempt at comedy poetry… well, we’d assume you know us pretty well. In this episode, we break down a truly strange ashes-related tale…
more -
Love, Dating & Divine Intervention
In this episode of If You Would’ve Told Me, Joe & Emily discuss love, dating, and divine intervention 💫 We also dive into a strange obituary and another round of One-Word Improv. Tune in for laughs, deep thoughts, and maybe even a sign from the universe. 🎙️ Email them at [email protected]...
-
First Class Fancy Pants
In this episode of If You Would’ve Told Me, Emily and Joe share some of their personal goals for the year, including fitness, travel, and personal growth. They talk dream travel destinations on their radar, and break down a wild airplane story in the headlines. 🎧 Don’t miss out—join the...
-
Comedy & Bears
On this episode of If You Would’ve Told Me, Joe and Emily talk about stand-up comedy and swap unforgettable stories of bombing on stage. Then, they shift gears to discuss bizarre and hilarious bear news stories. 🎧 Don’t miss out—join the conversation! Email them at [email protected] Please...
-
Christmas
🎄 If You Would’ve Told Me Podcast with Joe Fernandes & Emily Paige In this holiday episode, Joe and Emily get into the Christmas spirit! They chat about their favorite holiday movies, family traditions, and some Christmas stories. 🎧 Tune in and celebrate with us! Please Follow, Rate, & Review!...
-
The Cello Episode
🎙️ If You Would've Told Me Podcast with Joe Fernandes & Emily Paige In this episode, Joe and Emily share their experiences performing standup at country clubs. They also discuss a bizarre and somewhat tragic news story about a pet cremation gone wrong, leading to a deeper conversation about…
more -
Thanksgiving Traditions
On this weeks episode of If You Would've Told Me, Joe & Emily talk about Thanksgiving and some historically weird traditions. Please Follow, Rate, & Review! Full video available on Spotify & YouTube Please Follow @ https://www.tiktok.com/@ifyouwouldvetoldme...
-
Blerp It
On this episode of If You Would've Told Me Podcast, Joe & Emily try one word improv, talk about writing, and tell stories. Email any weird stories or "If You Would've Told Me" experiences to: [email protected] Follow us on Instagram & Facebook @ifyouwouldvetoldme @joefernandes @emilypaigecomedy
-
Soup Weather
Joe & Emily get to know each other. They talk comedy, learn where they were born, soup weather, and watch some videos. Email any weird stories or "If You Would've Told Me" experiences to: [email protected] Full video podcast Available on Spotify & Youtube Follow @ifyouwouldvetoldme on…
more -
The Blarney Stone
Joe Fernandes & Emily Paige start a podcast and here's the first crack at it. Thanks for subscribing and supporting! Email any weird stories or topics you would like us to cover at [email protected] Follow us on Instagram & Facebook @ifyouwouldvetoldme @joefernandes @emilypaigecomedy
-
Trailer: If You Would've Told Me Podcast
Joe Fernandes & Emily Paige bring you their new podcast where they will tell stories, read stories, and make up stories. Please subscribe! You can email us any stories to [email protected]
We're indexing this podcast's transcripts for the first time — this can take a minute or two. We'll show results as soon as they're ready.
No matches for "" in this podcast's transcripts.
No topics indexed yet for this podcast.
Loading reviews...
ABOUT THIS SHOW
Joe Fernandes & Emily Paige bring you their new podcast where they will tell stories, read stories, and make up stories. Please subscribe! You can email us any stories to [email protected]
HOSTED BY
Joe Fernandes
CATEGORIES
Loading similar podcasts...
Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does If You Would’ve Told Me have?
If You Would’ve Told Me currently has 42 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is If You Would’ve Told Me about?
Joe Fernandes & Emily Paige bring you their new podcast where they will tell stories, read stories, and make up stories. Please subscribe! You can email us any stories to [email protected]
How often does If You Would’ve Told Me release new episodes?
If You Would’ve Told Me has 42 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to If You Would’ve Told Me?
You can listen to If You Would’ve Told Me on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts If You Would’ve Told Me?
If You Would’ve Told Me is created and hosted by Joe Fernandes.
URL copied to clipboard!