Ill Advised with Stefani & Ray

This week, the Biffs serve up a best-of compilation of some of our most unhinged, emotionally loaded, and “oh wow we really said that” advice moments. From Ask Natalie dilemmas about a partner sliding into control after Trump’s re-election and finding out your best friend knew about your husband’s affair, to one Slate How To Do It scenario that fully redefined the phrase “family issues.” Stefani and Ray revisit the mess with fresh eyes, sharper boundaries, and the same wine soaked wisdom you’ve come to expect. Consider this your reminder that the advice was wild, the takes still hold up, and yes, some red flags really are timeless. Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com.

Is he private… or are you a secret? This week, the Biffs crack open Ask Natalie and dive into three modern relationship nightmares: a boyfriend who won’t acknowledge your existence, Venmo emoji payments to a suspicious “gym friend,” and a best friend who hates you like it’s her full-time job. Stefani and Ray unpack the power plays, the plausible deniability, and the quiet moments where your nervous system is already screaming the truth. [Doña Paula Sauvignon Blanc, 2022] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com.

This week, the Biffs dive into Coleen Nolan’s Mirror column and immediately ask: should we be allowed to know this much about strangers? We’ve got forbidden fantasies about a fiancé’s sister (ma’am??), a working parent doing pre-shift cocaine while the kids remain blissfully unaware, and a grief dilemma where “respecting wishes” collides with “I still need closure.” It’s horny, dark, sad, and somehow funny — and Stefani and Ray do what they do best: spiral, empathize, roast (gently), and offer extremely unlicensed advice along the way. [Lagaria Pinot Grigio, 2022] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com.

This week, the Biffs drop into Reddit’s Am I the Asshole?, where feelings are inconvenient and accountability is theoretical. A man asks his wife to stop crying in a Home Depot like it’s a customer service issue, another apologizes to his mom for his wife to keep Family Day “smooth,” and a friendship detonates when a dog eats someone else’s meds and a $1,500 vet bill shows up demanding answers. Stefani and Ray tear into public tears, peacekeeping that looks a lot like betrayal, and the eternal question of modern adulthood: when everything goes sideways, who’s actually responsible? Come for the chaos. Stay for the verdicts. [Juggernaut Russian River Pinot Noir, 2022] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com.

This week, the Biffs crack open The Washington Post’s Carolyn Hax column and immediately regret having functional nervous systems. We tackle a family who keeps serving seafood despite a life-threatening allergy (because vibes > survival, apparently), a woman wondering if it’s fine to marry a man she’s not excited about as long as he’d make a solid dad, and a soon-to-be father who went bungee jumping and was shocked to discover his very pregnant wife was not amused. Stefani and Ray bring their usual best-friend banter, emotional honesty, and low tolerance for nonsense as they talk boundaries, risk, resentment, and why “it seemed like a good idea at the time” is not a personality trait. [Colossal Reserva Red, 2019] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com.

This week, the Biffs dive into Lizzy Acker’s Why Tho? column, where the drama is feral, the boundaries are theoretical, and everyone’s courage seems to come from a mysterious off-brand energy drink. We’re talking: a wife who unilaterally opens her marriage and detonates an entire friend group, a boyfriend who wants to “gently” tell his girlfriend her facial hair is ruining his life (spoiler: there is no gentle version), and a 20-year friendship that ends with a breakup email so cold it should come with frostbite warnings. Stefani and Ray unpack the chaos with their trademark banter, hot takes, and unsolicited-but-deeply-felt advice for the romantically bewildered. [Squealing Pig Sauvignon Blanc, 2023] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com.

This week, the Biffs tackle Thanksgiving chaos courtesy of Dear Prudence and Dear Abby: one man is appalled his wife wants to help the less fortunate on a holiday (unthinkable), and one older sister is being roped into cooking the entire feast for a sibling who’s “hosting” in name only. Stefani and Ray bring peak sarcasm and zero patience for seasonal nonsense. Expect righteous indignation, a touch of holiday guilt-tripping, and the annual reminder that family gatherings are just team-building exercises with higher stakes. [Côté Mas Orange, 2024] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com.

This week, the Biffs dive into Slate’s How To Do It, where the sex is messy, the signals are mixed, and every letter reads like it was written mid–panic spiral. We tackle: a husband rattled by a “joke” from his wife that lands way too close to home; a guy overwhelmed by his girlfriend’s marathon-level orgasm skills; and a couples’ night that detonates when one husband goes feral for the wrong person. Stefani and Ray bring their best-friend logic and deeply unlicensed insight— with empathy and honesty. Please don’t cite us in therapy. [Apothic Pinot Noir, 2022] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com.

From body odor to boundary issues, this week’s reading of the Dear Annie column is giving eau de despair. One writer’s begging HR to handle a fetid coworker, another’s stuck between her mother-in-law’s feuding daughters, and someone’s “service animal” story is pure fiction. The Biffs tackle it all with equal parts compassion, chaos, and questionable ethics." [Marchese di Borgosole Rosé] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com.

This week, the Biffs celebrate 150 episodes by heading to Reddit’s messy courthouse - Am I The Asshole? - to judge three cases that range from petty to downright sociopathic. We’ve got a neighborly heist involving patio furniture and audacity, a revenge bridesmaid in a color rebellion, and a “death wasn’t a tragedy” hot take that’ll make you clutch your pearls. Moral clarity? Never heard of her. [Moët & Chandon Imperial Brut Champagne]

A fiancé in love with his AI “girlfriend.” A food influencer who turns a first date into content. A boyfriend who live-streams arguments for likes. This week, the Biffs dig into three Ask Natalie letters that prove dating has gone full Black Mirror. Between the clout-chasing, the codependency, and the collective loss of shame, Stefani and Ray ask the real question: is there any love left that doesn’t need an audience? [Gran Passione Pinot Grigio, 2023] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

This week, Stefani and Ray put the advice column down and turn the spotlight on themselves—answering the kind of unhinged, cockamamie questions only ChatGPT could dream up. From ghosting for the pettiest reasons to drag-naming their unresolved trauma, the Biffs get brutally honest and painfully funny about their own mess. Turns out, nothing makes you face yourself quite like bad hypotheticals and mediocre wine. Get prepped for maniacal self-reflection, but don't judge them. Ray doesn't have time for this and Stefani forgot to shave. [Louis Jadot Beaujolais-Villages, 2023] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

Lies, loathing, and a whole lot of family baggage—it’s a triple feature in this week’s episode when the Biffs read from the Independent's Dear Vix column. First, a compulsive storyteller whose “white lies” have evolved into full-blown epic sagas. Next, a mom who swears she’d take a bullet for her daughter… but would rather not take her to brunch. And to round it out, someone finally blurts the unspeakable: they just don’t like their parents (yes, even after the holidays). Stefani and Ray roll up their sleeves and dive headfirst into the dysfunction, serving up therapy-adjacent hot takes like “maybe stop lying so much,” “boundaries are cheaper than bullets,” and “you don’t have to like family just because DNA says so.” It’s messy, it’s brutally honest, and it’s exactly the kind of chaos that makes you feel a little better about your own group chat. [Four Vines Old Vine Zinfandel, 2021] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

A nosy neighbor, a leaked sex tape, and a family secret one spit tube away from detonating—welcome back to Prudie’s wild ride [Dear Prudence, Slate.com. This week, the Biffs tackle three disasters in the making: a kid who takes revenge on a cop-calling neighbor, a risqué video that lands in the wrong inbox, and DNA test results that could unravel a whole family. Stefani and Ray weigh in with their usual mix of chaos and clarity, doling out advice so unlicensed it should probably come with a warning label. Tune in and let us ruin your problems before you ruin them yourself. [Louis Jadot Beaujolais-Villages, 2023] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com  

This week, Colleen Nolan’s (Mirror.co.uk) inbox is a circus and we’ve got front-row seats. A man secretly pays off his wife’s ex-husband like it’s hush money for his own conscience. A woman brags about cheating on her husband with a coworker and somehow thinks “no guilt” is a personality trait. And another poor soul can’t stop dreaming about a high school crush while insisting she’s totally happy in her marriage. [Martin Codax Albarino, 2024] Consider it your weekly reminder that love lives are messier than a group chat after bottomless brunch—and Stefani and Ray aren’t here to clean it up, just to make sure you don’t look away. Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com  

Out of the Vault: One bride’s recycling her heartbreak couture, another diner’s beefing with the blue-plate special crowd, and someone’s about to ghost a group chat with more drama than a telenovela. This week, the Biffs weigh in on three Am I the Asshole (Reddit) posts that range from petty to petty iconic: should you wear the dress even if it was meant for your ex, clap back at elderly buffet bullies, or leave a group chat that just won’t die? Stefani and Ray bring eyebrow-raises, unlicensed logic, and just enough judgment to keep you from pressing send. [Franck Massard Mas Sardana Brut Nature Cava] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

Out of the Vault: A wife’s uncomfortably close bond with her stepdad has her husband spiraling; a boyfriend thinks a lie detector is the secret to lasting love (and they say romance is dead); and a sister is ready to go to war with her late brother’s abusive widow. Stefani and Ray dive headfirst into the drama of Dear Abby, serving up side-eye, sharp takes, and just enough empathy to make it sting. Expect boundary violations, a little family chaos, and at least one (or three) piece of advice Abby definitely wouldn’t co-sign. [Samuel Robert Pinot Noir Rosé Vineyard Reserve, 2023]

Out of the Vault: The summer vacation continues with another unreleased recording. A hidden video. A bizarre bedroom ultimatum. And the Sunshine State taking its “Florida Man” energy straight to the law books. This week, the Biffs wade into three deeply unsexy messes from Slate’s How to Do It column: the girlfriend who found exactly what her boyfriend didn’t want her to see, the woman stuck with a partner whose idea of foreplay comes with fine print, and the Floridian whose favorite solo pastime is now on the state’s naughty list. You’d think Stefani and Ray were Attorneys at Flaw at Policy, Privacy & Pleasure—but with more judgment, less restraint, and better wine.[Château La Freynelle Bordeaux Blanc, 2023] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

Out of the Vault: Previously recorded and unaired, this week the Biffs read from Ask Natalie. He’s married. You’re pregnant. And he thinks the solution is as easy as hitting delete. Then, your bestie’s open marriage suddenly includes your husband—and no one asked your opinion. This week, Stefani and Ray dive headfirst into the kind of chaos that makes you want to throw your phone in the ocean. Expect enough boundary violations to warrant a cease-and-desist. [Juggernaut Sauvignon Blanc, 2023] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

A mistress meet-cute at the nail salon. A stolen baby name (the audacity!). And a Golden Corral showdown that wasn’t even their first. This week, the Biffs tackle three delightfully deranged dilemmas from Slate’s Dear Prudence column, including: what to do when you and your boyfriend’s side piece go full spy-movie, whether baby names are fair game (spoiler: not if you’re a traitor), and how to cope when your in-laws treat buffet night like WrestleMania. This one’s got all the essentials: espionage, betrayal, and buffet brawls. But don’t worry—Stefani and Ray came armed with side-eyes, hot takes, and at least one grudge. [Famille Bougrier Sauvignon Blanc Val de Loire, 2024] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

A disappearing best friend who still lurks in case she needs something. A guy who shoots his shot via BCC. And a man losing sleep because his girlfriend’s on OnlyFans. This week, the Biffs dig into three very relatable modern-day dilemmas pulled from Love Letters: the blurred line between ghosting and passive-aggressive friendship, the wild west of digital dating etiquette, and the fragile male ego in the face of empowered women. As always, Stefani and Ray bring wine-soaked wisdom, chaos-calibrated advice, and zero qualifications—just the way you like it. [Bottlerocket Spritz, Sparkling Rosé] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

This week’s mess includes backne, breakups, and body lotion masquerading as soap. Stefani and Ray dive into four gloriously messy AITA questions: the guy who asked his sister-in-law to sunscreen his bacne, the girlfriend who gave her boyfriend the crop treatment (literally), the almost-stalker who let a stranger cry it out, and the man who’s been washing his hands with body lotion for three weeks straight. After listening to these blunders, one thing will be clear: some people simply shouldn't be trusted with a photo app or a pump bottle. [Summer Garden Spritz w/ La Marca Prosecco] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com  

Love is hard. Boundaries are harder. And your boyfriend’s about to cry again. This week, the Biffs dive into three emotionally chaotic conundrums: what to do when the dating drought has you questioning if marriage is even in the cards, how to end things with your boyfriend without emotionally wrecking him, and how to draw the line with your dad’s new wife without blowing up the family group chat. Stefani and Ray bring their signature, emotionally honest (and very unlicensed) advice to the romantically bewildered and boundary-confused. [Enrico Serafino Grifo del Quartaro Gavi di Gavi, 2021] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

A psychic says dump him—so should she? This week, the Biffs dive into three very modern meltdowns, from The Independent's Dear Vix Column. trusting tarot over your own intuition, obsessing over your boyfriend’s ex (oops), and losing a friend to her walking red flag of a man. Stefani and Ray bring their signature best-friend banter and wine-fueled wisdom to the mess, offering emotionally honest (and very unlicensed) advice to the romantically bewildered. [Shimmer Francis Coppola Diamond Collection Sauvignon Blanc & Pinot Grigio Blend, 2024] If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, you're not alone—and help is available. In the US, The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers free, confidential support 24/7. Call 800-799-SAFE (7233), text START to 88788, or chat online at thehotline.org. For our listeners in the UK, The National Domestic Abuse Helpline offers support for women on 0808 2000 247, or you can visit the Refuge website. There is a dedicated men’s advice line: 0808 8010 327. Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

This Biffs read from R. Eric Thomas’s advice column this week. A writer’s distrust in their second husband has them questioning if they should contact the first wife to get their real story. Another writer's sister-in-law loads up her car with her own thoughts of her inheritance following their parent’s death. Finally, tensions run high when a man’s one night stand resurfaces after forty-three years, shacking up with his brother. [Octopoda Prosecco] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

This week, the Biffs read from Natalie Bencivenga’s Ask Natalie. What’s the correct course of action when your husband’s empowered to be more controlling as a result of the presidential election? Oldest friend may not mean best friend, but should you still help plan their birthday? Pregnant, and now your abusive boyfriend wants to get married?  [Natale Verga Gavi, 2023] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

After a ten-month hiatus, your Biffs are back! Stefani and Ray hit the waves refreshed with new questions and the same banter. This week, the Biffs take on the Slate’s “How To Do It.” A girl know’s too much about a new girlfriend’s boyfriend’s past, and is chomping at the bit to tell her. A man is turned on when he finds out his boyfriend is married, and wants to look the other way. A man’s fetish for golden showers is anything but when his wife is unsatisfied with the only way he wants to have sex. [Miguels Rosé] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

Stefani and Ray visit Susan Writer's column, Ask Someone Else's Mom, this week. The Biffs read about potentially rigged, by-chance encounters with former flames; an inter-familial rivalry that has two uteruses vying for first; and a long-distance open relationship without rules on track for marriage. [Patrice Grasset Vin de France Chenin Blanc, 2021] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

In this week's episode, relive some of the Biffs' favorite moments of Ill Advised. From episode 78 - How to Kidnap Us, a man's self-proclaimed stupid face is putting his wife off to sex with him. In episode 11 - God Damn It, Kourtney, her partner's weight gain has a woman questioning the future of her relationship. And from Episode 22 - Dick, Thom, & Beelzebub, a woman's lackluster sex life leaves her wondering if she can have extramarital affairs while staying with her husband. Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

Out of the Vault: This week, the Biffs bring you an episode with unaired segments from previous recordings. From Reddit’s AITA, a father wonders if laughing at his son’s self-sabotage makes him an asshole. From Metro.co.uk, a man promises to suppress his homoseuality in exchange for shelter with his wife and their children. And from Ask Amy, a woman starts a Facebook dating profile after her husband does, but is asked to shut it down when she receives more attention. Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

In this week’s episode, the Biffs read from one of their favorite columns -  Natalie Bencivenga’s, Ask Natalie. A series of unfortunate events in a contentious relationship leaves a grieving widow wanting to sever ties with her late husband’s son. A writer’s roommate-turned-close-friend crosses an unspoken boundary and violates her privacy when she borrow’s her sex toy. Another writer’s emotional capacity to handle her best friend’s grief fuels an interesting discussion between Stefani and Ray. [Stefano di Blasi Zibibbo Catarratto, 2021] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com 

Stefani and Ray attempt to weigh in on questions sent to the Slate.com’s How To Do It Column, by Rich Juzwiak and Jessica Stoya. A coupled individual’s want to connect intimately with girlfriends is interrupted by booty calls and one-nighters. Another writer’s realization that they’re non-binary, along with their penchant for masochism, leaves them wondering if their husband is the one for them. Finally, a woman’s attempt at back-door, dildo play activates her gag reflex.[Benjamin Darnault Grenache Gris Plus, 2022] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com 

This week, the Biffs revisit Reddit’s Am I the Assh*le (AITA) thread. A man’s disagreement with his wife’s unusual punishment of their underaged drunk son stalls communications at home. Another father questions whether he’s asshole for kicking his son out, when it’s revealed that he’s been staying with them because he cheated on his pregnant, bed-ridden wife. And a man’s dash cam footage reveals what he really did to the family dog. [Yalumba Y-Series Viognier, 2022] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

The Biffs, Stefani and Ray, put new columnist, R. Eric Thomas of Asking Eric (Washington Post), to the test. He’s got big shoes to fill as he steps in following Amy’s (Ask Amy) departure. An anti-gay rights in-law puts together a family tree and leaves the writer’s husband of ten years out, because of her stance on same-sex marriage. A man who enjoys just about everything in his marriage can’t stomach another one of his wife’s home cooked meals. Finally, a DNA test has a sister questioning a moral dilemma: remaining loyal to her brother, or making herself known to his secret, estranged love child. [Chris Baker Willamette Valley Rose, 2022] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

The Biffs celebrate twenty-one years of Ask Amy with a send-off/tribute, including some of her best advice to date. Amy gets pranked in our first question, when a writer's scenario is the movie plot of the 2003 cult-classic, The Room. The second writer is a woman whose unchecked privilege, along with that of her family/friend group, gets in the way of her being a good sister. Finally, a dinner guest is upset following a party where the hostess fails to disclose that one of her guests was transitioning. [Beringer Bros. Bourbon Barrel Aged Chardonnay, 2022] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

This Biffs read through Laura Collins's column in the Metro.co.uk this week. One writer asks for guidance on coming out to her mother about sleeping with her uncle. Another questions that status of his marriage when his postpartum wife cheats on him, following his unplanned vacation with his friends. And finally, a young man, sexually harassed by his dad's young girlfriend, doesn't know how to tell him. [Prophesy Rosé, 2022] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

In this week’s episode of Ill Advised, Stefani and Ray read from Miss Manners column from UExpress. One writer asks for help in determining when to relate and when to express empathy when someone close is sharing a personal problem. Another writer takes a tumble and becomes the joke of the friend group. Finally, a change in a cancer survivors appearance has them wondering how to redirect compliments. [Chateau Laborde Sauvignon Blanc, 2018] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

It's another trip down memory lane as we relive some our favorite advice columns from our early days. From episode 13 - Swipe if You Want the Pipe, the Biffs address a writer's plan to get down and dirty with an internet beau. A man's uncut member becomes a Jewish mother's biggest worry, in episode 32 - Was Jesus Circumcised. And from Episode 72 - In the Privacy of Your Public, should Mom have knocked when the son uncharacteristically used the vacuum?  Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

Coleen Nolan, the Mirror.co.uk's agony aunt's column, is the topic of this week’s conversation between the Biffs. A woman’s insecurities over the life her daughter lives prompts her question to Coleen. Another woman’s husband doesn’t like it when she’s barefoot on vacation, when she just wants to air out the puppies. Finally, when your Biff doesn’t like your significant other, which side of the fence do you play on? [Aperol Spritz] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

The Biff’s read through advice from Jenee Desmond-Harris of the Slate’s Dear Prudence, this week. A woman finds her husband’s notes to himself on the best way to handle her in several scenarios. A husband cheats on his wife with the person she has a restraining order on, and now she’s ready to give notice at their co-owned business. Lastly, when the rat-tail when out of style, this writer thinks their baby book should’ve gone with it. [J Vineyards & Winery Sauvignon Blanc, 2022] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

In this week’s episode, Stefani and Ray read from “Dear Abby.” A woman struggles to support her daughter through divorce when she learns about their open marriage. An ornate cut glass cake stand is the final straw after a writer feels snubbed by their family friend. Finally, a young woman is torn about her parent’s divorce after her father lays blame directly on her. [Rapaura Springs Sauvignon Blanc, 2022] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

Out of the Vault: This week, the Biffs bring you an episode with unaired segments from previous recordings. From Boston Globe's Love Letters, Stefani and Ray discuss a twenty-four years old's serial monogamy and her plea to ditch the habit. From The Slate's How To Do It, the Biffs learn about garden party- and kitchen table-polyamory when a writer's efforts at having all of their partners at their birthday party are stalled due to group dynamics. Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

The Biffs take on Reddit’s Am I The Assh*le again this week. A man’s culinary skills are challenged when his sister’s boyfriend marches out in a huff in search of his own hot sauce. When a man is sniffed by a dog at a pet-friendly eatery, he barks at it’s owners. Self-sufficiency is a lesson best learned at self-check out. Finally, a grown man is butt-hurt and lashes out against his girlfriend’s daughter for referring to him as creepy during school drop-off. [Casillero del Diablo Sauvignon Blanc, 2022] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

In this week's episode, the Biffs, Stefani and Ray, read from the Reddit Am I The Asshole (AITA) thread. A man begs for judgement after serving his stay-at-home-mom wife with a performance evaluation based on the way she parents their children. Another Redditor brings her case before the internet after her roommate snitches on her to the landlord for refusing to move her sofa. [Miguel Vinho Verde] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

Sally Land's Dear Deidre of the Sun.co.uk takes the stage this week, with some controversial advice topics. What do you do when the man of your dreams turns out to be your long lost half-brother - and you want to keep sleeping with him? A man is pocket dialed by his wife and listens in to her moans and groans before busting her at home. A love child threatens a family's livelihood. [Bonterra Zinfindel, 2021] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

Natalie Bencivenga’s "Ask Natalie" is the center of the Biffs' conversations this week. It’s one thing to sleep with your best friend’s boyfriend, but it’s another thing entirely to keep it from her. A man questions his fidelity after hiding a sex toy purchase from his ailing wife. Finally, a cheating husband wants to have a sleepover with his mistress where he and his wife still live and share a home. It’s an episode of anecdotes and witty banter between Stefani and Ray. [Skouras Moscofilero, 2021] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

In this week’s episode, Stefani and Ray read from Boston.com’s Love Letters, by Meredith Goldstein. A retreat from the familiar and the mundane inspires a left-field marriage proposal that the first writer only sees as a bandage to their problems. In the second letter, a woman introduces her boyfriend to her mother only to find out about their past sexual relations. Listen on to see what the Biffs have to say [Oyster Bay Pinot Gris, 2022] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

In Best of the Biffs (Part V), listen to some of Stefani and Ray’s favorite questions from episodes 82 - Lemme Project These Hands, 79 - Polly Want a Condom, and 73 - Mt Me Beautiful. A man’s mismatched sex drive has him asking Natalie Bencivenga if opening his marriage is a good idea. ChatGPT gives the Biffs a wild scenario of a parrot blabbing about their owner all over the neighborhood. Eleanor Gordon-Smith publishes a response to a woman who’s witnessing the return of the mistress that ruined her marriage. Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

Stefani and Ray take to the Washington Post this week to read from Carolyn Hax's advice column. Nice guys finish last when a man's political correctness overrides chivalry. A woman questions whether to tell her five-month-old and three-year-old about her mother-in-law’s extra marital affairs. When a man’s mental health conditions start to affect his adult children, a mother ponders her place in divulging that information. [Spring Sangria w/ Coppola Pinot Grigio, 2022] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

In this week’s episode, your Biffs talk advice from How to Do It’s (Slate.com) Rich Juzwiak. In the first question, the Biffs discuss a scenario where ex-lovers, apart for thirteen years, come back together only for one of the men to be completely put off by his roommate's comfortable appearance. Lastly, a woman is having a hard time trusting her husband when she uncovers his lies and his hidden panty and anal sex toy fetish. Stefani and Ray also talk red flags: Who’s are they? [The Dreaming Tree Pinot Noir, 2021] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected]. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com