Intrinsically Ordered

I spent a week researching one of the internet’s most viral and controversial gender stories - someone who detransitioned, became a Christian influencer, and then ultimately transitioned again. In this video, I break down the full timeline, the psychology behind what happened, and how online religious communities, algorithms, and high-control dynamics may have shaped this journey in ways most people are completely missing.0:00 - Conservative Meltdown2:23 - Neeza's First Posts11:15 - Her First Time at Church18:10 - Christian Hate and Gender Dysphoria30:31 - Becoming Catholic49:55 - "Failing" Jesus59:19 - Toxic Christian Responses1:12:54 - Better Christian Responses1:18:24 - Neeza's ThoughtsTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Former youth minister (and current Catholic) Ashley Kiefer joins me to talk about the messy overlap of faith, OCD, and scrupulosity. We trace her journey from professional Catholic youth worker to licensed therapist, why quoting the catechism at every problem stopped working, and how therapy forced her to learn actual listening instead of spiritual “fixing.”We dig into what scrupulosity really is, how it shows up as a subtype of OCD, why sermons that end with “just trust God more” don’t work, and how online Catholic culture and “rad trad” spaces can quietly supercharge religious anxiety. Ashley shares practical steps for discerning when it’s time to see a therapist, how to find scrupulosity-literate help, and why dealing with OCD is not a betrayal of your faith.00:00 Ashley’s Journey from Youth Ministry to Therapy04:21 Discussing Mental Health in Youth Ministry07:34 Transitioning to a Career in Therapy10:40 The Role of Faith in Therapy25:59 Scrupulosity and OCD29:52 Addressing Misconceptions and Scrupulosity35:45 Understanding Intrusive Thoughts39:24 Scrupulosity in Catholicism56:15 Seeking Help and ResourcesTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

I got invited by  @HeliocentricOfficial to one of the biggest evangelical Christian YouTuber conferences in the country… as a gay atheist. Surrounded by Christian apologists, pastors, influencers, Mormons, Catholics, and some of the biggest names in Christian internet culture, I spent three days asking a simple question: why am I still an atheist after all of this?From debates on the Trinity to conversations about homosexuality, conversion therapy, suffering, and the strange beauty of religion itself, this was one of the most fascinating weekends I’ve had in a long time.0:00 - Influencers^301:22 -  @Heliocentric 's invitation03:26 - Day 104:06 - Lesson 108:05 - Day 1 Continues09:44 - Lesson 217:26 - The Debate18:37 - Lesson 323:54 - Post Debate24:45 - Lesson 428:54 - Day 2's Craziness31:02 - Lesson 534:17 - Bringing My BoyfriendTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

What if the Latin Mass isn’t the magic solution everyone online says it is?In this episode of the Intrinsically Ordered Podcast, I sit down with Kevin Non-Trad, who was literally born into an FSSP Latin Mass community, went to the parish school in the church basement, prayed the rosary in Latin, and watched his childhood classmates quietly drift away from the faith. I come from the opposite direction: a suburban Novus Ordo kid who dove head-first into trad YouTube, daily rosaries, and Latin Mass as the supposed answer to the Church’s crisis—only to leave Catholicism anyway.00:00 Kevin's Background in the Latin Mass05:15 Retention Rates and Realities07:05 Challenges and Critiques of the Traditionalist Movement18:31 Liturgical Anecdotes18:58 Why People Convert21:46 Challenges and Criticisms of Latin Mass25:06 The Human Connection to Rituals and Music26:32 The Complexity of Faith and Personal BeliefsTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

I've been working on this case for almost a year now - and I figured I'd give you the ultimate guide to understanding what is evening happening with conversion therapy and the Supreme Court. In this video, I break down the law, the arguments, and what the majority, concurrence, and dissent actually say. More importantly, I explain what the case is really about—because the framing of the question changes everything.0:00 Background: Framing the Case6:54 Background: What Colorado Law Says12:07 Background: Defining Conversion Therapy20:04 Background: How the Case Got Here26:37 Background: First Amendment Basics32:33 Background: How SCOTUS Decisions Work43:29 Majority: Strict Scrutiny Explained47:27 Majority: What Therapy Really Is51:06 Majority: Parsing Colorado Law54:39 Majority: Speech Versus Conduct55:17 Majority: Facial V As Applied Challenge58:34 Majority: Black Swan Analogy1:02:11 Majority: No Perfect Precedent Fits1:10:48 Majority: Bad Citations And Categories1:14:01 Majority: Lawyers Cases Aren't Therapy1:16:41 Majority: NIFLA Case Breakdown1:20:24 Majority: Viewpoint Discrimination Claim1:21:38 Majority: Orientation Versus Behavior1:24:09 Majority: Religion Not The Issue1:25:06 Majority: NIFLA1:28:30 Majority: Professional Speech Limits1:29:39 Majority: Viewpoint Discrimination Claim1:36:28 Majority: Speech Versus Conduct1:38:54 Majority: Informed Consent Analogy1:45:59 Majority: Licensing Tradition Debate1:56:51 Majority: Therapy Is Medical Treatment2:05:16 Majority: Licensing And What’s Still Allowed2:08:38 Majority: Consent Power Dynamics2:10:28 Majority: When Actions Are Speech2:13:57 Majority: Majority Logic Breakdown2:19:23 Majority: Medical Consensus Hypothetical2:23:51 Colorado Strategy Failures2:32:28 Concurrence: Viewpoint Claim2:36:46 Concurrence: Not A Mirror Image2:40:54 Dissent: Jackson’s Framework2:48:19 Dissent: Harms Of Conversion Therapy2:52:42 Dissent: Why Minors Need Protection2:52:56 Dissent: Fraud Not Free Speech2:53:27 Dissent: What The Law Actually Bans2:54:37 Dissent: Allowed Goals And Counseling2:55:15 Dissent: Transition And Detransition Clarified2:56:49 Dissent: Speech Versus Treatment Conduct2:59:00 Dissent: Case Law And Student Speech3:02:30 Dissent: NLA Versus Casey Breakdown3:07:18 Dissent: Words As Medical Treatment3:11:32 Dissent: Defining Professional Medical Speech3:15:22 Dissent: Standards Of Care And Viewpoints3:23:38 Dissent: History Of Licensing And Malpractice3:32:37 Dissent: Majority Plays With Fire3:39:04 Dedication And Final ThoughtsTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of the Intrinsically Ordered Podcast, I sit down with Griffin to hear one of the most intense and personal stories I’ve encountered about growing up gay in a Christian environment. We talk about what it’s like to be taught that your identity is sinful, the psychological toll of trying to “pray the gay away,” and how systems of shame, guilt, and fear can shape the way you see yourself.Griffin shares his firsthand experience with conversion therapy, including manipulation tactics, missionary school, and even being pressured into shock therapy. We also explore what it looks like to break free from that world, rebuild your identity, and navigate the tension between faith and sexuality—along with how these stories are still impacting people today.00:00 Strict Megachurch Upbringing04:01 Realizing He Was Gay21:46 Hawaii Mission School Brainwashing28:38 Fear Tactics and Shame32:05 Ex-Gay TikTok Era34:36 Coerced Shock Therapy40:37 Healing and Hope AheadTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

*Skip to 01:23:00 - if you just want to see the slavery bit*After a few months off podcasting, I came back with one of the wildest conversations I’ve had with a Catholic apologist. This is my third debate with Noah from  ⁨@Jesus.andwhatnot⁩   and we start in a pretty normal place: the historicity of Jesus, what (if anything) we can know from the sources, how reliable the Gospels are, and whether claims like crucifixion and resurrection can be treated like other ancient historical questions.Then the conversation takes a sharp turn into epistemology—faith vs. history, “first principles,” and whether the Catholic Church can be treated as an infallible authority. And yes: there’s a moment where he starts defending slavery, which honestly caught me off guard in real time.If you want the calm historical discussion, it’s here. If you want the “what did I just hear” moment, you’ll definitely find it. Either way, I hope this helps you think more clearly about what counts as evidence, what counts as faith, and how people build worldviews.00:00 Introduction and Podcast Return02:43 Debate Setup: Historicity of Jesus06:04 Exploring the Historical Jesus18:34 Crucifixion and Resurrection Debate32:03 Skepticism and Historical Evidence47:51 The Presupposition of Jesus as God48:25 Mary's Perpetual Virginity: Historical or Faith Claim?49:28 Catholicism and Historical Claims53:43 Epistemology and Circular Reasoning55:45 First Principles and Trust in the Catholic Church59:08 Faith vs. Historical Evidence01:02:46 The Role of the Catholic Church in Morality01:06:07 Debating the Stability of Worldviews01:09:31 The Evolution of Catholic Doctrine01:23:00 - DEFENDING SLAVERY01:27:11 Closing Statements and ReflectionsTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

I got to sit down in person with fellow ex-Catholic creator  ⁨@Nontradicath⁩   for a long-awaited crossover: why we’re not Catholic anymore.Kevin shares his journey from being “born into” the traditionalist FSSP world—daily Latin Mass, grace-maxing, Marian devotions—to slowly realizing that so much of what he’d been taught as “history” looks a lot more like legend. We talk Old Testament authorship, Adam and Eve, gospel reliability, Marian apparitions like Fatima and Guadalupe, and the uncomfortable gap between what Catholic scholars actually say in academic work and what popular apologists tell the pews and YouTube.00:00 Kevin's Background and Catholic Answers04:00 Why We're Not Catholic Anymore07:19 Historical and Biblical Skepticism09:49 Marian Apparitions and Church History11:46 Catholic Apologetics20:10 Community and Catholicism23:55 Catholic Scholars vs. Apologists25:42 Frustrations with Apologetics29:08 Deconstructing Catholic Beliefs41:36 The Role of Fiction and StoriesTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, Cade sits down with gay Catholic writer and lawyer Chris Damian to unpack one of the most abused buzzwords in Catholic debates: natural law.They trace how Aristotle, Aquinas, and virtue ethics get flattened into YouTube talking points, why “sex is for babies and bonding” doesn’t actually settle anything, and how natural law gets weaponized against LGBT people, contraception, and queer families while mysteriously ignoring things like smoking and worker exploitation.From Latin Mass culture and “Catholic Inc.” to chastity, conversion therapy, and bad analogies about chairs, cups, and diet soda, Cade and Chris ask: What would natural law look like if we actually cared about human flourishing—especially for queer people—instead of just defending a pre-decided rulebook?00:00 Natural Law in Catholicism01:35 Catholic Inc. and Rad Trad Explained03:31 Natural Law and Sexual Ethics09:39 Critiques and Complexities of Natural Law14:17 Marriage and Natural Law20:25 Natural Law in Practice and Popular Misconceptions37:58 Christian Natural Law and Intuitive Goods46:30 The Anorexia Argument and Natural Law50:56 The Flaws in Catholic Natural Law Arguments56:14 The One-Way Valve of Catholic Studies58:10 Adoption and Same-Sex Couples59:52 The Complexity of Human Flourishing01:04:06 The Inconsistencies in Catholic Sexual Ethics01:06:57 The Broader Implications of Natural LawTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

I sit down with Catholic YouTuber  @evan_raugust after a wild weekend where we went to seven churches in one weekend: Messianic Jewish, Catholic, Pentecostal, Orthodox, Anglican, non-denominational megachurch, and a Presbyterian church plant.Evan's full main channel video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHejO1GGbwU&t=651sWe unpack how each community tells a different story about God, heaven, and everyday life—Latin Mass vs fog machines, house-church Orthodoxy vs televised sermons, “I felt the Holy Spirit” vs “this still doesn’t make me a believer.” We talk conversion, deconstruction, the pull of beauty and liturgy, and why some churches felt genuinely soulful while others felt like spiritual factories.If you’re curious how an ex-Catholic atheist and a convinced Catholic convert experience the same services in totally different ways, this conversation is for you.00:00 Weekend Adventure: Visiting Different Churches01:20 Evan's Religious Background03:48 Cade's Religious Background04:49 Collaboration and Video Concept11:46 Messianic Jewish Church Experience14:59 Catholic Church Experience19:00 Pentecostal Prayer Service Experience20:46 Catholic vs Evangelical Views on End Times23:18 Orthodox Church Experience27:17 Non-Denominational Church Visit31:16 Anglican Evensong Service33:33 Nova Church: A Presbyterian Experience38:00 Reflections on Visiting Multiple Churches42:13 Concluding Thoughts on Religion and AtheismTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Christian youtube video essays keep claiming that “LGBT ideology” ruined male friendship, but I have no clue what they're on about.As a gay ex-Catholic, I use my old theological training to look at the “and they were just roommates” discourse, the panic over male affection, and the erasure of queer couples from history. I also share my own story of trying to be a devout, rule-following Catholic while secretly gay—and what I discovered about friendship once I left that homophobic bubble.Creators featured in this video: @theLOOPcast  @TheCounselofTrent  @amenalex  @AscensionPresents  @jasonevert  00:00 Gay People Stole Your Frogs and Toads06:48 And History Will Call Them Roommates23:11 Keep The Socks On36:38 The Real VictimsTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

After debating together on the Ellen Fisher Podcast, Elijah Lamb (Gen-Z Christian preacher and well-known TikToker) and I (ex-Catholic, now atheist debater) sat down to unpack Gen-Z Catholicism, Protestant/Catholic/Atheist debate culture, and why certainty theater replaces discipleship. We talk caricatures (“read church history, become Catholic”), denominational hopping, Mary/Eucharist misunderstandings, street-apologetics gotchas, humility vs. victory, and how online arguments are getting more technical—and more honest. What should Catholics, Protestants, and atheists actually do next?00:00 Rise of Gen Z Catholicism02:47 Personal Faith Journeys04:54 Debating Apologetics07:33 Youth and Theological Exploration10:26 Navigating Online Religious Debates30:22 The Role of Apologetics in Faith34:26 The Futility of Online Religious Debates36:32 The Impact of Apologetics on Personal Faith43:31 The Evolution of Christian-Atheist Debates49:41 Advice for Catholic Apologists and AtheistsTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

My infographic about this case: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1a6-vYf6qIZ8r9xS3G_dRGTaF6qi-hOVK/view?usp=sharingA new “victim” has entered the culture war stage at the Supreme Court. After the “No Cake” baker and the “No Website” designer, meet “No Therapy” Kaley— a Christian counselor recruited by well-funded right-wing legal groups to challenge Colorado’s bipartisan ban on conversion therapy for minors.In this episode, I break down the Salazar case, the PR tactics behind it, and the dangerous history of conversion therapy. We’ll look at how billionaires bankroll fake plaintiffs, how discredited psychologists invented “reparative therapy,” and why banning conversion therapy is actually a win for both kids and conservative faith communities.00:00 Background on Conversion Therapy Laws01:46 Manufacturing a Victim03:33 The Case of Kaley Chiles04:52 Public Narrative and Legal Arguments09:53 The History and Pseudoscience of Conversion Therapy16:00 Impact on Religious Communities23:02 Conclusion and Personal ReflectionsTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

On this episode of The Intrinsically Ordered Podcast, I sit down with SC Neely—therapist, author of 30+ books, and specialist in religious trauma and queer/trans identity. We explore the real signs of religious trauma, how it overlaps with complex PTSD, and the unique challenges queer people face when deconstructing from high-control religious environments.We cover the roadmap from questioning to deconstruction to rebuilding identity, how trauma shows up in the body, why labels can feel overwhelming, and practical steps for reclaiming identity, sexuality, and community outside of religion.If you’ve ever wondered whether your religious past still affects your identity today, this conversation will give you clarity, compassion, and tools for healing.00:00 Understanding Religious Trauma08:28 Navigating Identity After Leaving Religion29:15 Practical Steps for Rebuilding Life Post-Religion41:47 Recognizing Self-Sabotage from Religious Trauma46:47 Dealing with Feeling Behind in Life51:01 Managing Anger After Leaving Religion54:54 Exploring Queer Spaces and Identities01:10:49 The Lifelong Journey of Healing from TraumaTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode, I share my raw and personal journey through Catholicism—from being raised in a suburban Catholic family to becoming an intense religious fundamentalist who nearly entered a monastery. I explain what it was like to give every waking moment to prayer, theology, and the dream of becoming a monk, only to have my life upended when I was rejected for being gay.What followed was a painful process of leaving not just Catholicism, but religion itself. I open up about the collapse of my community, meaning, and identity—and how I rebuilt my life through running ultramarathons, reconnecting with purpose, and creating content to help others on their journey.This isn’t an argument against belief; it’s a memoir of faith, loss, discovery, and resilience. Whether you’re religious, questioning, or completely secular, I hope my story resonates with you.00:00 My Religious Beginnings02:37 Religious Awakening05:29 Deepening Faith11:42 Embracing Fundamentalism and the Latin Mass15:36 COVID Lockdowns and Monastic Aspirations19:18 Rejection and College Life22:04 Life Decisions30:16 Questioning Catholic Teachings32:46 Departing Catholicism35:08 Struggles with Identity38:07 Finding New Meaning41:40 Embracing a New Life46:55 Reflections on Religion and Personal Growth53:19 Living AuthenticallyTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

What happens when you attend a traditional Latin Catholic Mass in the morning and a drag brunch in the afternoon? Surprisingly, these seemingly opposite worlds share more than you’d expect. In this episode, we unpack seven parallels between Catholic liturgy and drag performance—from ritual and belonging to performance, morality, and meaning.For us, this isn’t about mockery. It’s about understanding how humans create community, how rituals give us identity, and how art—whether sacred chant or drag lip-sync—can lift us beyond ourselves.00:00 Weekend Adventures: Latin Mass and Drag Brunch01:03 Understanding Drag Brunch02:12 Commonalities Between Latin Mass and Drag Brunch02:35 Personal Backgrounds and Reflections03:55 Seven Commonalities: An Overview04:31 Disclaimers and Respectful Comparisons07:06 Social Conformity in Rituals15:02 Navigating Social Scripts20:38 Reinforcing Community and Morality31:30 Entertainment and Performance32:34 Choosing Preferences in Drag and Religion33:18 Community and Performance in Mass and Drag34:00 Diversity and Aesthetic Preferences36:31 Social Investment in Rituals40:31 Shedding the Self in Group Activities47:33 The Role of History and Trauma56:32 Intentional Community Building01:00:19 Finding Your CommunityTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, Evelyn from  @leavelaughlove   joins me to tackle one of the hardest questions we get asked: how do you talk to loved ones who are falling into fundamentalist Catholicism?We unpack:Why people get drawn into high-control religious groupsHow to maintain healthy boundaries without burning bridgesWhy “debating” rarely changes mindsCompassionate approaches that keep relationships intactWhen it’s okay to let goWhether it’s your child, spouse, parent, or friend, this conversation offers realistic and empathetic strategies for navigating these difficult dynamics.00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome00:23 Today's Topic: Relating to Fundamentalist Catholics01:06 Personal Experiences with Fundamentalism01:49 Understanding the Rabbit Hole02:57 Starting the Conversation06:07 The Importance of Boundaries09:49 Maintaining Relationships with Compassion13:08 Navigating Conversations and Debates21:22 The Role of Community in Fundamentalism23:55 Setting Clear Boundaries31:17 Respecting Individual Journeys37:45 Navigating Conflicting Emotions38:48 Maintaining Relationships Despite Differences40:26 Understanding High-Control Religious Beliefs44:22 Advice for Parents of Religious Teens56:43 The Deconstruction Process01:04:32 Setting Boundaries and Finding Supportive Relationships01:13:13 Final Thoughts and Viewer EngagementTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, I sit down with Isabelle, who grew up immersed in traditional Catholicism—daily rosaries, novenas, and all. Over time, she shifted toward progressive Catholicism before beginning a slow and painful unraveling of belief. We talk about mental health, OCD masked as virtue, the reality of Catholic marriage and NFP, gender and sexuality, and the psychological manipulation baked into so many teachings. Isabelle shares how motherhood, philosophy, and her relationship with her non-Catholic husband helped her reclaim agency and begin truly living. It’s raw, real, and deeply moving.00:00 Introduction and Guest Background00:21 Early Catholic Upbringing01:08 Struggles with Faith and Mental Health01:57 Deconstruction Journey Begins04:42 Neurodivergence and Religion13:18 College Years and Evolving Beliefs19:11 Marriage and Catholic Rules25:16 Challenges with Natural Family Planning32:32 Realizing the Harm of Church Teachings33:59 Questioning God's Behavior35:12 Struggles with Church Teachings on Parenting36:32 Self-Doubt and Leaving the Church43:58 The Impact of NFP and Personal Choices45:45 The Tipping Point: Intersex Identities48:46 Final Steps Away from the Church49:42 Life After Leaving the Church52:21 Reflections and Final ThoughtsTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, I'm joined by Greg and Oliver—two seasoned left-wing voices who’ve appeared on Jubilee, the Whatever podcast, and in brutal six-hour debates with professional sexists, racists, and homophobes. Together, we unpack the ethics of debate, how to survive the emotional toll, what it’s like to be in the room with Jordan Peterson or Michael Knowles, and why the left can’t afford to stay silent anymore. Whether you're thinking of joining a debate or just curious how to counter the right-wing media machine, this is your crash course in becoming a better debater—without losing your mind, your values, or your sense of humor.Oliver's Youtube:  @oliverniehaus Oliver's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/olivermniehaus/Oliver's TIkTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oliver.niehaus?lang=enGreg's YouTube:  @GregDoesVideos  Greg's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gregfromvideo1/Greg's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@gregfromvideo1?lang=en00:00 Introduction to the Podcast00:10 Meet the Guests: Greg and Oliver00:26 Debate Experiences and Reflections01:20 The Role of Online Political Debates04:57 Challenges and Criticisms of Debating10:17 Strategies for Effective Debating12:49 The Impact of Debates on Public Perception35:49 Encouraging More Left-Wing Debaters36:16 Advice for Aspiring Debaters38:28 Setting the Stage: Debate Preparation Insights38:54 Handling Misinformation in Debates40:59 The Importance of Honest Feedback41:44 Extensive Preparation Techniques42:40 Staying Disciplined During Debates43:17 Avoiding Gotcha Moments45:41 Using Personal Experience Effectively51:40 Managing Emotions in Debates01:09:31 Building a Debate Network01:20:09 Handling Hate Comments01:21:26 The Power of Blocking on YouTube01:24:09 The Reality of Viral Fame01:26:44 Debate Strategies and Real-World Impact01:33:17 Security and Privacy Concerns01:36:32 The Fun and Challenges of Debating01:40:29 Final Thoughts and Wrap-Up01:50:34 Final Thoughts and Wrap-UpTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

I sat down with Darian, a gay creator who once wanted to be a Catholic priest and now runs an OnlyFans—while still attending Mass. We talked about scrupulosity, being queer in the church, spirituality beyond dogma, and the surprising peace he found in ritual. Darian's story is messy, funny, thoughtful, and deeply honest—and it challenges what it means to be both gay and Catholic in a polarized world.You can follow Darian on instagram and tikTok - https://www.instagram.com/darianblackofficial/00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome00:17 Darien's Background and Journey01:45 Growing Up Catholic in the South04:42 Struggles with Catholic Teachings on Sexuality06:35 Coming Out and Family Reactions22:09 Exploring Religion and Spirituality25:27 Starting Social Media and OnlyFans26:21 Finding Peace in Daily Mass27:30 Transition to Social Media Success29:51 Balancing Faith and Career30:54 Views on Church Teachings and Sexuality32:59 Community and Acceptance37:56 Catholic Converts and Personality Types45:30 Advice for Young LGBTQ+ Catholics51:37 Final Thoughts and Where to ConnectTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Jared from Heliocentric joins me to talk about his experience attending a Latin Mass for the first time and what it reveals about the explosive growth of Rad Trad Catholicism online. We dive into the aesthetics, the online media machine, the psychology of conversion, and how social media fuels religious radicalization. We also reflect on sexuality, the pain of being gay in the Church, and our shared experiences with Jordan Peterson. This one goes deep.00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome00:23 Humorous Banter and Bible References01:06 Jared's YouTube Channel and Background02:37 Discussion on Traditional Catholicism03:25 Rad Trad Influencers and Online Presence05:02 Experiences with Latin Mass and Orthodox Church23:07 Jared's Personal Journey and Challenges33:03 Theological Reflections on Homosexuality41:15 Struggles of Celibate Gay Christians43:45 Navigating Catholic Teachings on Homosexuality46:19 Conversion Therapy and Childhood Trauma47:33 The Hierarchy of Catholic Vocations49:35 The Reality of Online Religious Discourse53:32 Emotional Honesty in Religious Conversations54:28 The Role of Therapy in Leaving Religion57:46 Personal Experiences with Faith and Atheism01:02:47 Debating Religion Online vs. In Person01:16:50 Behind the Scenes of Jubilee Debates01:22:05 The Intensity of Live Debates01:23:00 Reflecting on the Peterson Debate01:24:38 The Hero's Journey in Jubilee Format01:25:41 Peterson's Performance and Public Perception01:29:10 The Evolution of Jordan Peterson's Ideology01:33:01 Personal Impact and Critique of Peterson01:44:12 Debating Religion and Atheism01:48:27 The Role of Conversations in Deconstruction02:00:00 The Influence of Online Debates02:02:43 Navigating Hyper-Niche Content02:03:14 Engaging with Online Audiences02:04:12 The Reality of Internet Fame02:05:07 The Fear of Being Misunderstood02:06:06 Balancing Authenticity and Reach02:14:38 The Ethics of Church Audits02:16:25 Conversations on Faith and Belief02:17:54 The Complexity of Deconversion02:22:28 Debating Religion and Epistemology02:30:06 Reflecting on Personal Narratives02:34:44 Closing Thoughts and Future PlansTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of the Intrinsically Ordered Podcast, I’m joined again by Noah from Jesus and Whatnot for part two of our deep-dive into what the Bible says—or doesn’t say—about homosexuality. As a gay atheist and former almost-priest, I argue that the biblical texts don’t clearly address modern queer relationships. Noah, now a confirmed Catholic, brings the counterpoint: that Scripture plainly condemns all homosexual intercourse. We cover Leviticus, Romans, Paul’s invented Greek words, death penalty laws, and whether the Bible is as clear as people say it is—or whether everyone’s just projecting their own beliefs onto it.00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome00:33 The Origin of the Debate01:02 Noah's Stance on Biblical Condemnation03:55 Leviticus and Homosexuality18:46 New Testament Perspectives18:59 Romans 1:26-27 Analysis31:11 Historical Context and Modern Interpretations40:56 Debating Biblical Interpretation of Homosexuality41:38 Contextual Analysis of St. Paul's Writings42:19 Modern vs. Historical Views on Homosexuality44:04 The Role of Historical Context in Biblical Interpretation46:04 Analogies and Their Limitations48:35 Revisiting Biblical Texts and Modern Understandings55:17 The Debate on Capital Punishment and Biblical Teachings59:06 The Case for Progressive Interpretation01:14:10 Final Thoughts and ConclusionsTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

I got to sit down with  @bradyvandruenen55 , a former Catholic school student and hockey player from small-town Canada, to hear his powerful story of growing up gay in a conservative Catholic environment. We dive into Catholic sex ed, hockey locker room culture, the mental gymnastics of trying to be someone you're not, and what it was like to finally break free and come out. This one’s for anyone who’s ever felt trapped by faith, family, or fear.You can follow Brady on:Youtube:  @bradyvandruenen55  TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bradyvandruenenInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/bradyvandruenen/00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome00:14 Brady's TikTok Journey03:12 Growing Up Catholic05:22 Sex Education and Early Conflicts08:48 Struggles with Identity18:25 Coming Out and Self-Acceptance24:07 The Journey of Self-Acceptance24:30 Coming Out to Friends and Colleagues26:15 Family Reactions and Challenges31:21 Navigating High School and Religion32:08 Experiences in Hockey Culture38:02 Life After Coming Out38:17 Advocacy and Future Goals46:05 Final Thoughts and AdviceTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

This is the ultimate guide to coming out—philosophically, practically, and personally. Whether you’re just starting to question your identity, preparing for your first conversation, or figuring out how to rebuild your life after coming out, this video is for you.As someone who almost became a Catholic priest and now helps coach others through the coming out process, I’ve condensed everything I know—from identity labels to safety planning, to navigating family, faith, and fear—into this one video. You’ll find conversation scripts, tips, community, and real-life encouragement.Your life doesn’t start when you have all the answers. It starts the moment you get to breathe.00:00 Intro02:15 Understanding the Coming Out Process11:58 The Importance of Labels and Identity14:18 Planning and Safety Considerations16:49 Building a Coming Out Plan20:21 Navigating Conversations and Reactions26:11 The Reality of Life After Coming Out28:50 Cade's Personal Coming Out Letter32:46 Final Thoughts and EncouragementTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, Cade chats with Evelyn from Leave Laugh Love about the hidden world of Newman Guide colleges — those elite, ultra-conservative Catholic universities designed to "protect" young adults from the real world. Evelyn shares her experience attending Franciscan University, the cult-like enforcement of Catholic morality, the double lives queer students are forced to live, and the gaslighting that comes with leaving. We dive into everything from purity culture to fake academic rigor, campus surveillance, and why these colleges are obsessed with Jordan Peterson and Lila Rose. If you’re wondering whether these schools are holy havens or Catholic cults — this episode is for you.00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction01:08 Criteria for Newman Guide Schools03:05 Personal Experiences at Newman Guide Schools06:23 Life at Franciscan University21:25 Homeschooling and Academic Challenges24:29 Critical Thinking and Education36:47 Student Life and Social Dynamics42:16 The Role of Religion in Student Life45:20 Debating Sin and Personal Relationships49:16 Questioning Research and Studies01:09:45 Leaving the Catholic University01:21:21 Final Thoughts and AdviceTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Join the community and join the group discussion on discord: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradI’m joined by Kevin for a deep dive into one of Catholicism’s most emotionally compelling and scientifically dubious claims: Eucharistic miracles. You’ve heard the stories—bread turning into heart tissue, bleeding hosts, and baffled scientists—but how well do these claims hold up to scrutiny?Kevin walks us through the actual studies (or lack thereof), the role of contamination, misleading narratives, and the difference between scientific integrity and religious marketing. We talk Lonciano, Buenos Aires, and Tlaxcala, plus the Catholic scientists themselves who have started to speak out.If you’ve ever felt guilt-tripped into staying Catholic because of these miracles—or you just want to understand the facts—this episode is for you.00:00 Introduction to Eucharistic Miracles00:34 Popular Eucharistic Miracle Claims02:18 Scientific Investigations and Findings04:16 Catholic Beliefs and Practices07:57 Skepticism and Scientific Critique20:39 Blood Type Analysis in Miracles37:43 DNA Evidence and Its Implications38:55 DNA Findings and Supernatural Claims40:13 Scientific Skepticism and Contamination45:40 Dr. Kiers' Experiment and Findings48:05 Dr. Trian Cos' Skepticism55:00 Economic and Social Implications of Miracles58:55 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Jordan Peterson is famous for inspiring many to take religion seriously — but for me, he had the opposite effect. In this video, I walk you through how reading Maps of Meaning turned me from a devout Catholic who almost became a priest into an atheist — and how Peterson’s ideas unexpectedly helped me accept myself as a gay man. We'll dive into belief, metaphorical substrates, value hierarchies, meta-narratives, and why I eventually walked away from Peterson too. Strap in — it’s a journey.00:00 Discovering Jordan Peterson's Work03:26 Realizing Natural Explanations for Religious Benefits05:03 Understanding Peterson's Concept of God08:07 Metaphorical Substrate and Its Influence09:46 The Power of Stories and Archetypes15:35 Meta-Narratives: Finding Purpose and Direction17:43 Questioning the Need for a Supernatural God18:50 The Role of Belief in Religion25:54 Embracing My Sexuality: Peterson's Indirect Influence28:58 Why I Left Jordan Peterson Behind30:32 Critique of Peterson's Views and Methods34:11 Conclusion: Life Beyond DogmaTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

On today's episode, we react to a 27 page document that reports to take people from agnosticism to catholicism. Myself and Colin (ex-traditional catholics) debunk this document while getting an outsider's perspective from our friend Greg (never been very religious). Let's see how catholic apologetics play out to some experienced debaters and a fresh set of eyes.00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome02:39 Discussion on Proving Religion08:11 The Big Bang and God's Existence09:30 Critique of the Big Bang Argument15:54 Philosophical and Scientific Counterpoints31:37 Historical Reliability of the Gospels43:24 Exploring Historical Claims and Mystical Accounts44:27 Miracle Claims Across Religions45:31 Historical Evidence for Jesus49:13 Manuscript Evidence and Reliability51:41 Debating the Historical Accuracy of the Gospels01:01:04 The Role of Apologetics in Reinforcing Belief01:06:52 Introduction to Part Two: Converting Greg01:09:04 Did Jesus Claim to Be God?01:25:38 Introduction to the Debate01:26:05 The Concept of the Trinity01:26:39 Jesus' Divinity and Historical Context01:29:01 The 'I Am' Argument01:34:29 Miracles and Prophecies01:39:15 The Trilemma Argument01:44:02 Establishing the Church02:04:56 Questioning the Trinity and Monotheism02:05:14 Santa Claus and Apologetics02:06:43 Jesus Establishes the Church02:11:45 The Church's Succession and Authority02:15:54 Faith and the Catholic Church02:29:57 Natural vs. Supernatural Faith02:42:11 Critique of Catholic Charity and Unity02:43:39 Questioning the Infallibility of the Church02:46:25 Debating the Authority of the Church02:49:27 Concluding Thoughts on Faith and Apologetics02:53:39 Final Reflections and AdviceTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this critical follow-up to our earlier reflections on Pope Francis’s passing, three gay ex-Catholics break down the truth behind the progressive myth. While headlines hail him as a revolutionary, we ask: did anything actually change for queer Catholics? From catechism clauses to conversion therapy, brunch with trans folks to doctrinal silence—this episode confronts the carefully curated optics of compassion.We’re not here to hate—just to tell the truth. What could have changed? What stayed the same? What harm still hides behind a smile? Tune in to hear three ex-believers decode the Vatican’s most PR-friendly pope.00:00 Introduction and Today's Topic01:00 Initial Reactions to Pope Francis03:01 Personal Journeys and Opinions06:09 Pope Francis' Actions and Inactions10:04 The Church's Stance on LGBT Issues17:13 Comparing Traditional and Progressive Catholics22:43 Pope Francis' Legacy and Future Implications26:44 Cultural Significance of the Latin Mass28:18 Pope Francis' Stance on Homosexuality29:16 The Future of Pope Francis' Legacy31:13 The Church's Harmful Teachings on LGBTQ+ Issues32:30 Pope Francis' Missed Opportunities for Change37:49 The Catholic Church's Influence and Power39:42 Pope Francis' Actions and Inactions46:22 Concluding Thoughts on Pope Francis50:46 Final Remarks and FarewellTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Pope Francis has passed—and within hours, I sat down with Justin from Empty Chairs for an off-the-cuff emergency podcast. As a gay ex-Catholic and a gay current Catholic, we unpack Pope Francis’s complicated legacy on LGBTQ issues. Did he really change anything? Did he do enough? Or was it all just nice-sounding words with no lasting impact?We talk about our own experiences inside the Church, from being denied vocations to being fired for our sexuality. We also dive into the real theological documents vs. the media narrative, and what the Church might look like under the next Pope.If you want an honest, emotionally raw, and well-informed queer Catholic perspective—you’re in the right place.00:00 Introduction and Emergency Podcast Setup00:46 Initial Reactions to Pope Francis' Passing02:05 Pope Francis' Legacy on Queer Issues03:06 Media Reactions and Public Perception04:06 The 'Who Am I to Judge?' Controversy05:53 Pope Francis' Ambiguity and Pastoral Approach07:29 Conservative Backlash and Church Politics09:06 Pope Francis' Stance on Homosexuality and Church Teachings11:26 Personal Stories and Church Discrimination22:45 Pope Francis' Impact on Vocations and Priestly Celibacy27:35 Addressing the Pope's Controversial Statements28:22 Personal Experiences with Church Rejection29:28 Pope Francis' Legacy and Impact30:37 Hopes and Fears for the Next Pope33:40 Challenges for LGBTQ+ Catholics38:53 The Future of the Catholic Church42:42 Final Thoughts and Personal ReflectionsTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Pope Francis has passed. And as someone who was once on the path to becoming a conservative Catholic priest—and now lives openly as a gay man—his death hits hard. In this video, I break down what Pope Francis actually did for LGBTQ Catholics. From his famous “Who am I to judge?” to his quiet yet revolutionary support of queer ministries, this pope changed the vibe of the church, even if he never changed the doctrine.For outsiders, it may be hard to grasp how radical just saying “You are welcome here” really was. In this episode, I reflect on his legacy, what’s at stake in the election of the next pope, and why so many LGBTQ Catholics now feel uncertain and afraid.If you want to join the conversation, hop in my Discord or support this work on Patreon00:00 Introduction and Personal Background00:36 Pope Francis' Approach to LGBTQ Issues01:04 Key Moments and Quotes from Pope Francis01:45 Pope Francis' Actions02:35 Impact on LGBTQ Catholics04:02 Pope Francis' Legacy and Media Strategy06:33 Concerns About the Future of the Church09:08 Final Thoughts and Call to ActionTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of the Intrinsically Ordered Podcast, I sit down with Minh (  @Kenapologeticscatholic   ) a Catholic apologist and street evangelist, for one of the most intense and philosophical debates I’ve had on the show. We dive deep into the question of homosexuality from Catholic, secular, and philosophical angles—covering everything from natural law, metaethics, and sexual ethics to kink, bestiality, and gender abolition.As a queer ex-Catholic, I challenge Minh on the idea that gay sex is somehow less moral or meaningful. Minh presents two dense arguments based on Catholic philosophy—and I try to pull them apart with both real-world data and a more progressive ethical lens.This one isn’t for the faint of heart—but it’s a vital, rigorous discussion about what it means to be moral, sexual, and human.YouTube: youtube.com/@kenapologeticscatholicInstagram: kenio02Gmail: [email protected]: kenapologeticscatholic0:00 – Introducing Minh & the Debate Framework3:12 – My Argument: Homosexuality Doesn’t Cause Harm7:30 – Minh’s Claim: Morality Needs God12:42 – Can You Prove Gay Relationships Are Good?19:05 – “The Slavery Analogy” – Minh’s First Counter24:40 – The Burden of Proof Debate30:18 – Minh’s Argument #1: Bisexuality is Morally Preferable40:11 – I Respond: Love Isn’t a Math Problem47:50 – Minh’s Argument #2: Empty Pleasure & Gay Sex59:15 – Can Gay Love Be Romantic Without Reproduction?1:05:22 – Ice Cream, Moms, and Lesbian Dates1:12:10 – Consent, Sex, and Society’s Role1:18:44 – Closing Thoughts & Where to Find MinhTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In today's episode, I unpack the mental model I use when Christians try to impose their beliefs—especially around queer rights. I compare their moral arguments to veganism (yes, really) to show how the more forcefully someone wants to control others, the more evidence they need to bring to the table. Faith alone doesn’t cut it.I walk through four levels of moral imperatives and the kind of proof each one demands. From personal convictions to theocratic dogma, I explain why your certainty should match your evidence—especially if you're trying to take away my rights. This isn’t just theology—it’s epistemology.00:00 – I Treat Homophobic Christians Like Vegans00:30 – What Counts as a Moral Imperative?01:00 – My Journey: From Latin Mass to Deconstruction01:36 – Level 1: Personal Belief Requires No Proof02:57 – Level 2: Gentle Advocacy Needs Some Evidence05:02 – Level 3: Telling Others What to Do? Prove It.07:46 – Level 4: Forcing Belief = Irrefutable Proof Required10:50 – Don't Get Stuck in the Weeds—Know the Burden13:00 – Final Advice for Deconstructing ListenersTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Leaving a fundamentalist or conservative form of Catholicism is more than just walking away from a church—it’s walking away from an entire worldview, identity, and sometimes your community. In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, Evelyn from the podcast Leave Laugh Love joins us for an honest, vulnerable, and occasionally funny conversation about leaving faith as a queer person. We talk about the emotional process of leaving, what healing looks like, building a new life, and practical steps for anyone questioning their faith. Whether you’re deconstructing, doubting, or just curious, this is for you.00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome00:27 Evelyn's Background and Journey01:30 Starting the Podcast and Providing Resources02:11 Personal Stories of Faith and Doubt03:20 Understanding Fundamentalist Catholicism05:50 The Process of Deconstruction08:49 Navigating Relationships and Friendships15:54 Making Practical Plans to Leave18:19 The Role of Therapy and Support Networks25:00 Life After Leaving Religion38:09 Sunday Mornings Without Mass38:35 Navigating Belief and Morality39:06 Empathy and Self-Discovery41:44 Finding Purpose After Leaving Religion42:47 Exploring New Communities and Hobbies44:34 Redefining Life and Meaning49:20 Grieving and Reconstructing52:17 Navigating Relationships Post-Religion55:42 Embracing a New Life01:05:23 Final Thoughts and ResourcesTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode, I discuss my journey from being a traditional Catholic to questioning and ultimately leaving the faith. I delve into the ambiguities and contradictions within Catholic teachings about sin and morality. Sharing personal stories, I highlight the lack of clarity on what actions might lead someone to hell. Using a Spider-Man meme analogy, I illustrate the contradictory views held by different Catholic authorities. I question the Church's claims of having definitive answers to moral issues, pointing out the inconsistencies and confusion among priests and church documents. Join me as I explore these complexities and talk about how my life has improved since moving away from fundamentalist Catholicism.00:00 Introduction: A Personal Story00:33 Questioning Catholic Teachings00:56 About the Channel01:18 Understanding Catholic Sins03:20 The Spider-Man Meme: Illustrating Contradictions04:43 The Confusion of Catholic Doctrine05:55 The Gray Areas of Morality07:59 The Subjectivity of Sin09:24 Conclusion: Moving Beyond Traditional CatholicismTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of the Intrinsically Ordered Podcast, I sit down with guest Cameron Riecker, a prominent Catholic YouTuber, discuss the complexities and uncertainties within Catholic moral teaching. We dive deep into the distinctions between venial and mortal sins, the ambiguity in moral guidelines, and the impact of these ambiguities on the lives of faithful Catholics. Cameron shares his personal journey into Catholicism and offers his perspective on dealing with moral dilemmas and church teachings. The conversation touches on practical examples such as the morality of certain sexual acts within marriage and what is permissible on Sundays, highlighting the challenges of living a Catholic life amid differing interpretations and teachings.00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction01:37 Discussion on Venial vs. Mortal Sins05:17 Examples of Disagreement Among Catholics07:47 Analogies and Moral Principles10:44 Debating Moral Ambiguities12:31 The Role of Church Authority and Flexibility19:20 Moral Obligations and Reduced Culpability27:22 Debating Catholic Teachings on Foreplay28:00 Historical Context and Church Rulings29:18 Moral Obligations and Church Authority30:38 Controversies on Sunday Activities31:26 Theological Nuances and Personal Interpretations34:56 Pragmatic Concerns and Faith41:03 God's Will and Human Understanding51:01 Closing Thoughts and ReflectionsTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Join the community and join the group discussion on discord: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradAs someone who was once a zealous traditional Catholic—praying daily rosaries, attending Latin Mass, and even discerning monastic life—I've since deconverted and now reflect critically on the movement from personal experience.This isn’t a theological takedown. It’s a candid, off-the-cuff reflection on what I saw inside the movement, why it appeals to so many (especially young people and converts), and the serious questions it raises about growth, retention, and cultural relevance.We’ll cover: Why the movement feels powerful but might not be sustainable, the illusion of rapid growth in Latin Mass parishes, why many kids raised traditionally still leave the Church, the tight link between American conservatism and traditional Catholicism, how convert zeal often idealizes tradition without fully understanding it, whether you’re deep in the trad world, newly curious, or trying to make sense of what’s happening in the Church today, I hope this video gives you something to think about.00:00 Personal Background and Deconversion00:48 Setting the Stage: Traditional Catholicism02:26 The Appeal and Growth of the Movement02:58 Why This Topic Matters03:36 Personal Journey Through Traditional Catholicism05:39 Lack of Data and Personal Observations06:52 Illusion of Traditional Growth10:18 Retention and Conversion Issues12:24 Geographical and Political Context16:27 Convert Dominated Movement19:23 Mental Health and Traditionalism21:57 Interpersonal Issues in the Movement22:43 Surface Level Kindness and Parish Politics25:21 Cult-like Dynamics and Isolation26:58 Performative Holiness and Scrupulosity29:58 Intellectualism and Apologetics31:59 Misconceptions of Happiness and Fulfillment39:44 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

For years, I begged God to make me straight. I read every book, watched every lecture, and tried every method of "healing." But what if being queer isn’t something to fix? What if it's something you could choose — not out of rebellion, but out of love, honesty, and freedom?In this deeply personal episode, I reflect on my journey from internalized homophobia to joyful self-acceptance, from Catholic doctrine to queer community. We explore the concept of identity, the weight of “coming out,” and what it really means to choose love — without conditions.00:00 – I Begged God to Make Me Straight  01:23 – Would I Choose to Be Straight Now?  02:07 – Growing Up Catholic and Closeted  03:01 – “I Am” vs. “I Experience”  04:13 – Why Christians Fear the Words “I Am Gay”  05:14 – Identity, Honesty, and the Label “Queer”  07:42 – The Fork in the Road: Queer vs. Christian Paths  10:09 – Why I Chose the Queer Path — And Found LifeTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

I got to sit down with a professional catholic apologist to have perhaps the most comprehensive discussion on natural law & gay marriage. We originally planned an hour discussion on a number of topics but found enough to get into just on this issue - and then went for almost two hours. I enjoyed having a thoughtful, long-form discussion on such an emotional topic. Joe's liked talking enough with me that he'll be posted the entire conversation on his channel - so perhaps we'll have an influx of dialogues with other prominent apologists.(00:00) - Catholic Sexual Ethics and LGBTQ Rights(11:43) - Natural Law and Catholic Sexual Ethics(21:43) - Ethical Frameworks in LGBTQ Dialogue(26:10) - Moral Absolutes in Societal Legislation(33:21) - The Biological Basis of Marriage(41:30) - Defining Marriage and Parenting Rights(46:14) - State Interest in Marriage Potency(50:16) - Legal Recognitions of Marriage Potency(01:01:36) - Sexual Double Standards and Societal Morality(01:08:08) - Exploring Ethics in LGBTQ Relationships(01:19:28) - Same-Sex Marriage and Family Dynamics(01:23:51) - Exploring Marriage Potency and Legal RecognitionTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Are Catholic sacraments truly channels of divine grace—or just powerful human rituals? In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, we question the supernatural claims behind sacraments like baptism and marriage. With guest Colin, we explore their historical roots, psychological impact, and striking similarities to rituals in other cultures. From a botched baptism to the Church’s evolving rules, we unpack what these rites really mean and why they matter. Join us for a critical, respectful look at belief, ritual, and the fine line between faith and magic.(00:00) - Critique of Catholic Sacraments(07:35) - Deeper Understanding of Catholic Sacraments(19:49) - Exploring Catholic Sacraments and Belief(31:16) - Complexities of Catholic Sacraments(35:47) - Development of Catholic Sacraments(39:50) - Sacraments as Ritual Magic(44:52) - Significance of Catholic Rituals(51:11) - Religious Unity and UnderstandingTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Does faith require evidence, or is experience enough? In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, I sit down with Noah from  ⁨@Jesus_and_Whatnot⁩   to debate Catholicism, the role of suffering, religious disagreement, and whether faith can be rationally justified. We dive into the toughest questions:Does the Catholic Church have clear moral teachings, or is it all contradiction?Why does God allow suffering, and is it truly necessary?If the Pope is infallible, why do Catholics disagree on so much?What would it take for an atheist to believe in God again?🔥 This discussion goes deep into Catholic apologetics, philosophical arguments, and the personal journeys that shape our beliefs. Whether you're Catholic, atheist, or somewhere in between, this episode will challenge your thinking!00:00 – Intro & Guest Introduction02:15 – What Led You to Question Catholicism?08:30 – The Problem of Religious Disagreement15:10 – Can the Church Be Unified When Even Priests Disagree?21:45 – The Role of the Pope in Resolving Confusion28:20 – Does Faith Require Evidence?34:10 – Why Does God Allow Suffering?41:00 – The Catholic Church’s Rules on Marriage & Morality48:30 – If God is Real, Why Doesn’t He Make Himself Clear?55:40 – Can the Church Even Define Mortal Sin?1:02:25 – Why Doesn’t the Pope Answer Dubia (Doctrinal Questions)?1:08:45 – What Would Convince an Atheist to Believe Again?1:14:00 – Does Religion Make Life Better or Worse?1:19:30 – Is Catholicism’s Appeal Just Suffering & Submission?1:22:10 – Final Thoughts & Wrap-UpTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

After years of grappling with this question, I finally have an answer—thanks to Interstellar. This film unknowingly lays out the six conditions that could actually convince me a higher intelligence exists. But even if that were true… would it lead me to religion?Join me as I break down the philosophy, science, and religious implications behind Interstellar’s mysterious guiding force—and why it’s still a better "God" than any religious claim I’ve ever heard.00:00 - My Journey from Catholicism to Atheism00:24 - Interstellar and the Idea of God01:17 - The Ghost in Interstellar: A Clear Communication02:48 - The First Condition: Intelligent, Direct Communication05:16 - The Second Condition: Supernatural but Measurable Events06:12 - The Third Condition: Useful, Non-Trivial Knowledge07:37 - The Problem of Divine Hiddenness09:03 - Even If God Exists, Religion Still Fails10:51 - The Leap from God to Religious DogmaTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this video, I break down my debate with Michael Knowles on Jubilee about the topic of same-sex marriage, philosophy, and conservative ideology. We go deep into metaphysics, logic, and how anti-LGBT arguments are structured to sound airtight—but fall apart under scrutiny.Michael and I come from the same religious movement, and I used to believe the same things he argues today. But as I studied philosophy and deconstructed my faith, I realized just how flimsy these arguments are.Stick with me as we explore nominalism vs. realism, the Texas sharpshooter fallacy, and why Michael’s claims on metaphysical reality don’t hold up. This video will equip you to counter these arguments in everyday conversations and protect our rights from bad-faith actors.00:00 - Introduction: My Debate with Michael Knowles02:30 - The Core Argument: Does Gay Marriage Exist?06:45 - Michael’s First Mistake: The Realism vs. Nominalism Trap11:20 - The Texas Sharpshooter Fallacy: Cherry-Picking History15:55 - Why Metaphysics Can’t Define Legal Marriage21:10 - The Logical Impossibility Fallacy (And Why It’s B.S.)26:40 - Why Michael’s Argument is Ultimately Religious, Not Logical32:15 - Final Thoughts: How to Counter These Arguments IRLTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Catholic apologist Trent Horn recently posted a video titled "The Sex Questions Almost No One Can Answer", where he attempts to justify Catholic sexual ethics using Natural Law philosophy. But are these arguments sound?Join my discord for $1/m: patreon.com/c/gayextradAs a former devout Catholic and apologist, I break down the flaws in this ideology and show how these outdated beliefs impact real people—through shame, control, and even political legislation.From ‘intrinsic evils’ to absurd rules on contraception, let's talk about why these arguments don't hold up and why you don’t have to buy into them.If you enjoy this content and want to support my work, join my Patreon for exclusive access to my Discord community of ex-Catholics, queer folks, and free thinkers. Let's have these conversations where they matter.Patreon: patreon.com/c/gayextradPodcast: Intrinsically Ordered (Available on all major platforms)Socials: @GayExTrad00:00 - A Catholic Apologist's "Unanswerable" Sex Question01:35 - Why Non-Catholics Should Care02:23 - The Weird Catholic Obsession with Sex04:09 - Does Feeling Disgusted = Morally Wrong?06:42 - The Catholic “Natural Law” Scam08:32 - The Ethics of Consent vs. Catholic Control11:07 - The Debate Trick Catholics Always Use14:22 - Catholic Sexual Rules Are Wild18:07 - Sex, Marriage & Fertility: The Catholic Hypocrisy23:35 - The Rise of Catholic Theocracy in Politics29:18 - Leaving Catholicism & Finding FreedomTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, I sit down with Jason—a long-time friend, ultramarathoner, and secular Buddhist—to explore life beyond dogma. We dive deep into questions of meaning, suffering, and personal transformation. Jason shares his journey from childhood trauma, addiction, and depression to healing, self-acceptance, and the liberating philosophy of secular Buddhism.We tackle the fear of leaving behind rigid belief systems, the reality of self-imposed suffering, and the beauty of finding your own path. Whether you’re deconstructing faith, seeking purpose, or just curious about running 200+ miles through the wilderness, this conversation is for you.🔹 The illusion of certainty in religion🔹 What it really means to "find yourself"🔹 The power of suffering as a teacher🔹 Ultramarathons as a metaphor for life🔹 Reframing trauma and choosing a new narrativeIf you’ve ever questioned what’s next after faith—or just want to hear an incredible journey of resilience—this episode is a must-listen.Timestamps:00:00 – Introduction & Guest Introduction01:18 – Why People Fear Leaving Religion03:06 – What If Life Has No Meaning?05:00 – Creating Meaning vs. Finding It10:59 – The Role of Suffering in Growth15:31 – How Religion Becomes a Coping Mechanism17:30 – Hitting Rock Bottom: Alcoholism & Trauma22:40 – Running From Pain vs. Facing It29:09 – The Turning Point: Therapy & Healing33:56 – How Trauma Affects the Brain40:17 – The Difference Between Pain & Suffering41:44 – Living in the Present: The Power of Mindfulness47:10 – What Therapy is REALLY Like50:48 – Running 250 Miles—Why Choose to Suffer?54:55 – The Mental Side of Ultra-Endurance59:46 – The Freedom of Letting Go1:04:05 – Choosing Your Own Path & Building Community1:10:22 – Finding Belonging Outside of Religion1:12:03 – How to Start Living YOUR Life Today1:28:18 – Final Thoughts & TakeawaysTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

What if you're gay but don't want to be gay? Jason Evert has the perfect solution, just hate yourself. He gives us a 'third option' to homosexuality where you can hate yourself, but publicly. Someone please patent this man's genius methods and scientific tests of what marriage must include.But in all seriousness, Jason Evert is the Final Boss of catholic apologists who do nothing but create word salads to confuse people and pad church teaching. He's the one that started me down the catholic rabbit-hole of chastity speakers & how to deal with SSA, so I figured I'd give a humorous response to his Ascension Presents video.To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Why are young catholics sent to conversion therapy? Does the Catholic Church discriminate against gay men? In today's episode, I tell my story of being rejected from becoming a monk for being gay - or as they like to say: experience same-sex attraction. My co-hosts Colin (raised FSSP) and Ben (discerned a vocation) help me explain where the church stands on this issue.00:00:00 - Introduction: Gay Men and the Priesthood Controversy00:00:30 - The Reality: Many Priests Are Gay00:00:50 - Personal Stories: Discerning While Gay00:01:17 - Church Teachings and the 2005 Document00:03:13 - The Italian Bishops' Conference: What Was Actually Said00:05:52 - Deep-Seated vs. Transitory Homosexual Tendencies00:15:27 - Vocational Struggles for Gay Catholics00:25:35 - The Church’s Role in Conversion Therapy00:36:14 - Linking Homosexuality to Abuse: A False Narrative(I got lazy about creating chapters beyond that mark, haha)To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Father Mike Schmitz (celebrity catholic priest) uses chairs to demonstrate teleology, and then makes anti-gay arguments from Theology of the Body. This approach fails in so many ways, and I don't think chairs are our best proof of teleology.I (a gay ex-traditional catholic apologist) give my reaction to his wild takes on teleology. This is the talk that convinced me when I was much younger to not be gay, so I figured I'd be fun to start my video-essays with an emotional reaction to his talk.00:00-01:12 - intro01:12-03:35 - don’t violate the nature of things03:35-04:44 - sex is only for procreation06:44-08:44 - his brother came out as gay08:44-10:33 - settle with just being friends10:33-11:45 - just be happy11:46-12:25 - my thoughts as a gay ex-catholicTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Let's dive deep into the Catholic Church's controversial teaching on contraception, its roots in outdated philosophies, and the societal impact of enforcing such dogma. From Humanae Vitae to the rise of "Theology of the Body," we'll critically examine how these doctrines shape attitudes toward birth control, women's rights, and personal autonomy. With years of theological study and firsthand experience within the Church, I explore why these teachings don't hold up under scrutiny—and why they're dangerous. Let's discuss how these views connect to the broader right-wing war on contraception and personal freedom.00:00 - The Catholic Church’s Most Oppressive Document01:05 - The Church’s Official Teaching on Birth Control02:04 - Why Non-Catholics Should Care03:03 - The Philosophy of Natural Law05:51 - Debunking Natural Law07:23 - Theology of the Body10:00 - Scare Tactics and Misinformation13:35 - The Church vs. Birth Control Science15:48 - Natural Family Planning (NFP)19:37 - The Global Consequences of Church Policy21:42 - The Real Reason Behind Church Teachings25:05 - The Hypocrisy of Church Leaders27:30 - Empowerment Through Choice29:33 - Closing Thoughts and Call to ActionTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, we sit down with a former Sedevacantist seminarian who opens up about his journey into one of Catholicism's most radical branches, his time in seminary, and the personal struggles that led him to leave the church altogether. From exploring the allure of certainty in faith to confronting deep-seated identity issues, this raw and eye-opening conversation delves into the intersection of belief, control, and personal freedom. Whether you're curious about high-control religious groups or seeking inspiration for your own journey, this episode offers thought-provoking insights and a powerful story of self-discovery.00:00:00 - Introduction and Welcome00:00:25 - What is Sedevacantism? A Quick Overview00:01:54 - Growing Up Fundamentalist: A Journey to Catholicism00:05:03 - Finding Sedevacantism Online and Entering Seminary00:15:03 - The Struggles of Seminary Life and Identity00:25:00 - Leaving Sedevacantism and Facing the Fallout00:30:00 - Advice for Those Doubting or Leaving High-Control Faiths00:33:40 - Life After Catholicism: Finding Happiness and HopeTo join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextradTo be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.