Just One More Thing

As we reach the end of the podcast’s run, we come upon “Uneasy Lies the Crown,” a rarely-mentioned late entry in the series. Steven Bochco recycles a 1970s script, in which a dentist/gambling addict tries to frame his wife for the murder of her famous actor lover. It’s actually not a bad murder scheme, and some of the performances are good, but hey, 90s Columbo, you know? Returning guest Tilt Araiza (The Sitcom Club) is here to discuss the episode, why on earth people do fanfiction and how a potential Columbo revival could possibly go wrong.

Tilt Araiza (The Sitcom Club) returns to the podcast to join Jon and RJ for a discussion of Season Nine’s “Uneasy Lies the Crown.” In it, a dentist murders his wife’s lover and sets her up to take the fall. Sound familiar? Then you might have watched a McMillan and Wife from 1977 that used the same Steven Bochco script.

Well, we’re back from our break with a Mrs. Columbo. Before you hit us, though, wait! “Murder is a Parlor Game” stars Donald Pleasance! That must mean it’s good, right? Right? Nope! Go ahead and hit away! In this episode, Pleasance plays a retired Scotland Yard detective who lives in the Wee Britain section of LA, an acclaimed true-crime author and sometime instructor in women’s self-defense. When a wrongly-accused suspect from a past case comes back to haunt him, there’s a struggle, a gunshot and one of the sorriest attempts of a crime scene coverup in recorded modern history. Will Mrs. Columbo piece it together,…

Coming back soon from a hiatus with a Mrs Columbo episode, “Murder is a Parlor Game.” Don’t let the fact that it stars Donald Pleasance as the killer fool you. If you’d like to take a look beforehand, it does seem to be available on YouTube at the moment, but… well, that’s on you. Joining in the discussion will be returning guests Jennifer Wright (Harper’s Bazaar, Get Well Soon: History’s Worst Plagues and the Heroes Who Fought Them) and Daniel Kibblesmith (Late Show with Stephen Colbert).

It’s our final 70s Columbo of the podcast! We’re saying farewell to the Lieutenant’s original decade with “Playback,” an episode featuring dazzling futuristic gadgetry, bowl haircuts and Gena Rowlands. Electronics executive Oskar Werner is on the verge of being fired by his mother-in-law. He kills dear old mom, then rigs his home’s elaborate security video setup so no one even discovers the murder, until he’s safely in alibi city, miles away. The gadget-happy killer’s plan even has Columbo stumped for what seems to be longer than usual, in an episode that also feels longer than usual. Dylan Meconis (The Long Con) is here…

Next time, we discuss our final 70s episode, Season Four’s “Playback.” Oskar Werner is a gadget-happy electronics executive who’s about to get fired from his mother-in-law’s company. This far into the podcast, we all know how he decides to address the situation. Guest Dylan Meconis (The Long Con) will be on hand to discuss.

The final episode produced for Columbo‘s original run, “The Conspirators” has Irish poet Joe Devlin (Clive Revill) brokering an arms deal to send an RV-load (literally!) of machine guns to the IRA. When he shoots the dealer over a perceived betrayal, he not only has to cover up the crime, but also figure how to get his hands on those guns. Columbo is in a race against time, drinking pints and shots and slinging limericks, to prove Devlin did it and prevent the weapons from leaving Los Angeles. Steven Goss (Columbo Interiors, Robophono) joins Jon and RJ to talk about an odd end…

Next up, we discuss the last 70s Columbo produced, “The Conspirators.” The Lt. gets involved with gun running, pinball, erotic art and lots and lots of Irish whiskey. Returning guest Steven Goss (Columbo Interiors) joins Jon and RJ to sort it all out.

In Murder, a Self Portrait, artist Max Barsini (Patrick Bauchau) has kind of an odd arrangement- he shares a beachside house with his second wife (Shera Danese) and his model/mistress, all while his first wife (Fionnula Flanagan) lives right next door. When the original Mrs. Barsini announces she’s moving out to be with her former therapist, the artist fears she’ll be take a deep, dark secret along to her new digs- Max’s murder of an art dealer decades ago. Deciding he can’t trust her to keep quiet, he kills her on the beach and throws her body in the water to…

Back to the latter-day Columbo, with 1989’s “Murder, a Self Portrait.” When a famous artist kills one of the three women in his life, the “Leftenant” has to a lot of sitting in black-and-white dream sequences to nab him. Returning as guest is podcaster (Hold My Order Terrible Dresser) and writer (We Are the Mutants), Michael Grasso.

Well, what can one say, except that this is certainly an episode of Mrs. Columbo? In “A Riddle for Puppets,” our heroine stumbles upon a mystery involving a ventriloquist (Jay Johnson) who begins to hear voices from his dummy. When those voices lead him to stab his mentor to death, it’s up to Kate Columbo to sort of stumble across some clues and make some leaps the audience doesn’t see to bring the killer to justice, with the help of a clown dummy.  Or, maybe he isn’t brought to justice? We don’t get to see that, either. The guest for this…

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Yup, it’s another Mrs. Columbo. This time, with a possibly homicidal ventriloquist dummy. Writer, podcaster and roustabout Abed Gheith will return to talk about it.

In “A Trace of Murder,” Shera Danese and David Rasche are having an affair and try to get her husband out of the way by framing him for the murder of a business rival. Here’s the thing, though- Rasche is the CSI lead on the case! A perfect way to make sure all of the evidence points the wrong way. But whoops- here comes Lt. Columbo with a bag of bananas and a sneaking suspicion that the clues are lining up a little too perfectly. The AV Club‘s Gwen Ihnat is here to talk about the weird recap at the end…

What happens when the person who’s investigating the murder is the one who committed it? You’ll find out in our next show, covering season thirteen’s “A Trace of Murder,” which finds forensic expert David Rasche teaming up with Shera Danese to frame her wealthy husband for murder. The AV Club‘s Gwen Ihnat returns to the podcast to discuss.

The podcast has finally come around to its final Robert Culp episode, “Double Exposure.” In it, Culp plays Dr. Bart Kepple, an expert in psychological manipulation who uses subliminal filmmaking (with salty expensive snacks and a gun) to murder with his first victim. The second one? He just shoots the guy in a projection booth, nothing too fancy. Joining in is author Jeannie Vanasco (The Glass Eye), who also speaks about her personal experience with the series through her relationship with her father. And hey! Viewer Mail!

As things begin to wind down, the ol’ podcast starts running up against a few lasts. This time, it’s our last Robert Culp episode, “Double Exposure”! In this one, Culp uses a lethal combination of caviar, subliminal film editing and bullets to get rid of a troublesome client. The special guest will be Jeannie Vanasco, author of The Glass Eye.

Do you like surprises? Of course you do, and “A Bird in the Hand…” is full of them! Not one, but three murders? Greg Evigan doing an outstanding job as the killer? A 90s episode that is actually very good? Yes! All of these things and more, in a greasy little noir-ish story full of twists and turns and double-crosses. One thing that’s not a surprise? The wonderful insights of returning guest, Dr. Christy Blanch.

Three murders for the price of one! That’s what you get in season eleven’s “A Bird in the Hand…,” which has Greg Evian as an inveterate gambler who plans to murder his wealthy uncle, but someone beats him to it. Who? Find it, watch it, and listen to us in a week or so! The guest will be the returning Dr. Christy Blanch.

In “Columbo Cries Wolf,” Ian Buchanan is one half of the inexplicably popular skin mag, Bachelor’s World. When the other half, Diedre Hall, decides she’s had enough of his philandering with the magazine’s models and wants to sell out, he kills her. Or does he? Well, yes, eventually. But before that, the two of them spend almost the whole running time of this episode making Columbo look like a chump, as he chases after dead ends and clues that lead nowhere. Jon and guest Tim Turner (Bitter Bastard Nerdcast) disliked this one waaaaay less than RJ. Variety is the spice of life, after…

What happens when you have a murder without a body? You have season nine’s “Columbo Cries Wolf,” in which Columbo goes up against a skin mag impresario whose business partner goes missing. Tim Turner (Bitter Bastard Nerdcast) will be the guest.

In “Ransom for a Dead Man,” Lee Grant is a high-powered attorney who shoots her husband, then constructs an elaborate kidnapping plot in order to point the feds in the wrong direction. Unfortunately for her, the local cop assigned to the case is none other than Lt. Columbo. Once the kidnapping crosses over into murder and it’s under Columbo’s jurisdiction- her chances? Not so good. Interestingly, this is the second of two pilots made for the show and you can definitely see the nice details that we all come to know as Columbo-esque.  Really fun added feature to the podcast- attorney…

Going way, way back for Columbo‘s second pilot, “Ransom for a Dead Man.” Lee Grant murders her husband (pretty much just for being a boring, okay guy), then tries to cover it up with an elaborate fake kidnapping. Attorney and writer Bob Ingersoll (The Law Is a Ass) and the mysterious “Jim” will be the guests.

So, this pilot for Mrs. Columbo,  this “Word Games.” It has Kate Mulgrew. It has Robert Culp. It has Edie Adams. It has Bob Dishy. It has a host of other good people. It has the car. It has Dog. It does not have Columbo. But, it also has a great deal of unpleasantness. A great deal of missed opportunity. The whole thing is just odd and confounding, so much so that Jon and RJ actually go through an episode in chronological order FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. Historian and author Amanda Reyes (Are You In The House Alone?: A TV Movie Compendium…

Well, that whole Mrs. Columbo/Kate Columbo/Kate Loves a Mystery thing had to come from somewhere, didn’t it? In our next one, we discuss the pilot, “Word Games.” Author Amanda Reyes (Are You In The House Alone?: A TV Movie Compendium 1964-1999) returns to take it all in. If you really want to see it beforehand, it’s on YouTube and nowhere else. But that’s entirely up to you.

In “How to Dial a Murder,” Nicol Williamson plays Dr. Eric Mason, a behavioral psychologist looking to exact revenge on his business partner, who may have had an affair with the doctor’s late wife. This revenge takes the form of having trained dogs viciously tear the partner apart after hearing the phrase, “Rosebud,” all while Dr. Mason listens with pleasure over the phone. Quite a guy. Columbo sees right away that these dogs couldn’t be the sole culprits and sets out right away to ensure that they aren’t the only ones going to the pound. Author Glen Erik Hamilton (Every…

On our next show, author Glen Erik Hamilton (Every Day Above Ground) returns to talk about Season Seven’s “How to Dial a Murder.” Ever wonder what Those Amazing Dobermans would have been like with a gruesome death and the Landmark Forum added to the mix? Well, here you go!

The Season One finale, “Blueprint for Murder,” stars Patrick O’Neal as an architect whose big upcoming project is placed in jeopardy due to a minor funding issue. What issue? Well, a Texas tycoon’s (Forrest Tucker) young second wife has agreed to devote a huge chunk of the galoot’s fortune to the project and he’ll have nothing of it. So, the architect’s only way to keep the development alive is to kill the tycoon by… uh… well… we never find out exactly. Which is weird, right? It’s just one of many off parts of a solidly okay episode that prevent it…

In Season One’s “Blueprint for Murder,” what’s an architect do when a Texas millionaire angrily refuses to pay for his elaborate project? Guess what? The hint’s in the title! Daniel Lavery (then Mallory Ortberg) (Dear Prudence) returns to smash a whole bunch of tiny buildings with Jon and RJ.

What’s this? A high-ranking delegate from a Middle Eastern nation has committed murder to cover up the the theft of $600,000? Yes, it’s “A Case of Immunity”! Thanks to a mistaken assignment, Columbo just happens to be around when Hector Elizondo starts killing off his embassy staff in order to cover up a sloppy embezzlement. In the end, Columbo gets him, sure, but- well, it’s an episode with a few good moments and some drawbacks. Professor Emily Houh is on the show to talk about the good, the not-so-good and hot dogs. Lots of hot dogs. And The Kinks. And…

What happens when a foreign diplomat starts killing off embassy staff? Can Columbo even touch him without sparking an international incident? Find out, in Season Five’s “A Case of Immunity.” Joining to discuss will be law professor Emily Houh.

In Season Two’s “The Greenhouse Jungle,” Ray Milland and his nephew cook up a fake kidnapping scheme to get at the nephew’s $300,000 trust fund. The scam goes off without a hitch- well, except for the nephew, who ends up getting murdered by his uncle. It’s a broad, odd anomaly of an episode, but Milland plays things to such a ridiculous hilt that it retains the fun, despite a few bumps here and there. Kevin Mellon (Archer) is here to talk about the whole thing, along with the Kubert School, deadly clowns on Matlock, the Goo Goo Dolls, and the Human Hickory Farms Log.

Get out your salt and pepper, it’s time to chew some scenery! In Season Two’s, “The Greenhouse Jungle,” Ray Milland happily munches every bit of the set as an evil uncle who has no problem killing off his favorite nephew in order to get at the guy’s trust fund. Joining to discuss will be Kevin Mellon (Archer).

Wayne Jennings is a tennis layabout and wannabe actor who’s romancing several women at once, including a famous romance novelist. When she (apparently) threatens to break off their relationship over the phone, he drives across the great state of California to shoot her in cold blood. Well, except maybe he didn’t? Because she might have already been dead? Or maybe not? Or maybe she didn’t call him in the first place? Because there’s this sister of hers you see and… oh, whatever. It’s all very soap-opera-ish. Jon loved, loved, loved it. RJ and guests Donna Bowman (AV Club) and Noel…

Seemingly ripped from the pages of a romance novel, it’s Season Nine’s “Murder in Malibu.” Columbo has to unravel the twists and turns surrounding a writer and her two-(Or is it three? Maybe four?) timing tennis pro/actor fiancee. Joining to discuss will be critics Donna Bowman (AV Club) and Noel Murray (New York Times).

Get your scratch-offs, it’s “Death Hits the Jackpot”! Wielding a southern accent slightly less broad than Foghorn Leghorn’s, Rip Torn is the owner of a fancy Beverly Hills jewelry store who’s just gone dead broke. Thankfully, at the moment he gets the news, his nephew (Gary Kroeger) shows up with a winning lottery ticket. The problem? The nephew is in the middle of a divorce and would have to give up $15 mil or so to his ex. The solution? Rip Torn drowns the nephew, claims the prize and makes out with the ex-wife. What a helpful, helpful uncle. Alex Knapp (Forbes) returns…

Season Eleven’s “Death Hits the Jackpot” contains: Rip Torn doing a huge Southern accent Gary Kroeger Columbo pulling his badge on a car salesman Someone dressed as Col. Sanders accompanied by a lady dressed as a chicken A chimp So, you’ll want to see it, if you can. It’s on DVD. Alex Knapp (Forbes) will be our guest.

“No Time to Die” is the first of two forays the series made into the world of Ed Mccain’s “87th Precinct” books, so the format’s a little different than your typical episode. There isn’t a murder, but a kidnapping! Columbo carries a gun! You meet one of Columbo’s oft-referenced nephews, who’s also an LAPD cop! And on and on. The nephew’s new bride, who also happens to be a model, is kidnapped from the honeymoon suite on the wedding night by a scalpel-wielding stalker. From there, it’s a race against time, as Columbo and the squad collect van brochures, talk to a dude named…

When is a Columbo not a Columbo? When it’s Season Eleven’s “No Time to Die,” based on an Ed McBain 87th Precinct tale of a kidnapping, not a murder. What happens when a beloved program strays wildly from its patented format? We’ll find out on our next show, with author Amanda Reyes (Are You In the House Alone?)!

Poor Adrian Carsini (Donald Pleasance). When we meet him in “Any Old Port In a Storm,” all he wants is to run the family winery, play the big shot with his wine nerd friends and decant the days away. When Carsini’s playboy half-brother threatens to sell the winery’s land to the Two Buck Chucks up the road, he flies into a rage, mostly killing him with a solid blow to the head, then finishing the job by suffocating him in the wine cellar while jetting off to NYC for the weekend. Columbo coincidences his way into the case when it turns from a…

Grab a bottle! In Season Three’s “Any Old Port In a Storm,” Columbo comes up against Adrian Carsini (Donald Pleasance), the prestigious head of a winery who locks his brother in the cellar when the younger sibling threatens to sell out the family vineyard. Steven Goss (Columbo Interiors) will be the guest.

In “By Dawn’s Early Light,” Patrick McGoohan is Colonel Lyle Rumford, overseeing a military academy whose enrollment has been steadily declining for years. When the scion of the academy’s founder announces plans to turn the institution into a co-ed prep school, the commandant sees fit to rig an antique cannon with C-4 and blow the guy to smithereens. Lt. Columbo is on the case, even bunking in with the young cadets (including a young Bruno Kirby!) and driving Rumford closer and closer to a confession. Michael Grasso (Hold My Order Terrible Dresser) is the guest.

Staying with the military theme, as we visit Season Four’s “By Dawn’s Early Light.” Columbo mainstay Patrick McGoohan is the commandant of a military academy who’d rather commit murder than see the institution become a co-ed prep school. Michael Grasso (Hold My Order Terrible Dresser) joins to discuss.

It’s like the old saying: Sometimes, it’s not enough to stab a guy; you also have to blow him up. At least, that seems to be the thought in “Grand Deceptions,” a confusing late Columbo set at a military think tank which also trains mercenaries on the side. Oh, and illegally runs arms. When he’s not busy shaking yarrow sticks, Frank Brailey, the think tank’s head, diverts millions of dollars from the foundation in the off hours he’s not busy cheating with the wife of his boss, an esteemed retired general. When one of Brailey’s subordinates catches wind of his many, many irons in the fire, that’s when…

Rocketing back into the 90s for the season eight episode, “Grand Deceptions,” in which Columbo has to dig into the secrets of a military think tank that also runs a little paramilitary ripoff school on the side. Joining in the pain of combat are writers Jennifer Wright (Get Well Soon: History’s Worst Plagues and the Heroes Who Fought Them) and Daniel Kibblesmith (Late Show with Stephen Colbert).

Murder is no game. Well, except for “The Most Dangerous Match,” wherein chess genius Laurence Harvey is terrified at the prospect of losing to someone even more genius-er than he is. Instead of just playing harder, he tries to kill his opponent by shoving him into what passes for early-70s green technology (a massive garbage crushing machine). When that doesn’t quite work, Columbo investigates the not-quite-yet-a-murder, trying to stay one move ahead of this Bobby Fisher analogue, putting his dreams of getting away with it in check. Appropriately, game designer Nathan Paoletta is the guest, helping Jon and RJ put the pieces in place. Games.

Season Two’s “The Most Dangerous Match” pits chess grandmaster Laurence Harvey against Lt. Columbo in a case involving garbage crushers, garlic snails and garish hallucinations. Game designer Nathan Paoletta (Who is working on a game based on Columbo!) will be the guest.

“Last Salute to the Commodore” is an odd episode of Columbo to be sure. The titular Commodore, owner of a luxury shipbuilding firm and head of a dysfunctional family, is found dead, presumably of an accident at sea. The prime suspect is conniving son-in-law Robert Vaughn. But wait! He gets killed, too? What? This episode is a whodunnit, complete with drawing room scene? Columbo seems drunk? He has a teen sidekick? He can’t stop touching Vaughn to the point of discomfort? There are shades of Groundhog Day, The Prisoner and Arrested Development? Sure! It’s all strange and actually kind of fun. Writer Christy Blanch is onboard…

Vaughning it up again with Season Five’s “Last Salute to the Commodore,” a perennial favorite of all Columbo fans! Sure, why not? An exclusive LA island community turns out to be a hotbed of murder and betrayal as the patriarch of a shipbuilding (boatbuilding?) company is found dead upon the ocean he loved so much. First-time guest Christy Blanch joins to discuss.

What was supposed to be a pleasure cruise to Mexico becomes a working vacation for Lt. Columbo in “Troubled Waters.” Also on board is used car kingpin Robert Vaughn, who kills the lounge singer who’s blackmailing him, while pinning the murder on her piano-playing ex. Though the crew is more than willing to buy the frame-up, Columbo can’t let it go, even on his vacation. Poor Mrs. Columbo. Back to travel the high seas of crime with Jon and RJ is comedian Richard Massara.

Season Four’s “Troubled Waters” welcomes Robert Vaughn aboard as a scheming used car dealer who murders a past fling on a pleasure cruise. However, he didn’t figure on Lt. Columbo happening to be on the exact same boat. Ship. Boat. No, ship. Richard Massara returns to the podcast to swab the decks. The episode’s available on DVD and (briefly) Netflix Instant.