Kagro in the Morning

David Waldman delivers us safely to the weekend. Even he is not exactly sure how. It seems like everyone's trying the new "MAHA Blast" featured at Taco Bell and many other participating outlets… often by surprise. Those "Trump Trots" (Or just "The Trumps", if you are really in a hurry) are caused by exposure to DOGE Sh*t. The takeaway on Donald K. Trump's speech last night is to take it far away. To even address it at all is a form of sanewashing. Tommy Tuberville liked it though. Tell it to the judge, Donald. Back to the whole point of Trump's presidency: the grift. Trump promoted companies on Truth Social days after buying their stocks. He is now selling priority access to those stock tips, because why not? The DOJ is dropping charges against the cryptofraudster who made $722 million on the backs of idiots, as game recognizes game. Trump's teleprompter operator made $100K betting on Trump's speeches and that go-getter received a paid vacation. The DOJ also forced a judge to drop the Jan 6 case on Proud Boys. ICE Killer David Brouillette should have never been allowed near a gun and yet was issued one again and again. You need to record ICE atrocities because those guys with cameras there will not be. United Airlines might reroute passengers who don't want to arrive at AI-Slop DJT. Then again, they might not want a visit from the DOJ. Gops in disarray won't be passing their veteran's benefits bill for Trump not to sign. Things are so crazy, even Todd Blanche might not get passed.

Will Donald K. Trump create a singularity of cretinous lies tonight massive enough to swallow the United States, or will this be his taco of all tacos? There's only one way to find out, and that is to listen to David Waldman tomorrow describe the Bluesky posts commenting on those who heard about what Trump said. Don't watch tonight, as you can't get too close… the stupid, they say, it burns. For certain, Trump will not be talking about his federal prosecutor marching on June 6, or the text messages not just covered up, but erased. Greg Dworkin not only hauls in his usual Raft O'Stories™, but talks like a sailor too! A record 58% of battleground voters disapprove of Trump. Dem Haley Stevens is7 points ahead of Dem Abdul El-Sayed in Michigan for Senator. Following the primary, their factions are hopefully to become re-arrayed for the election, or at least hopefully hold each other in higher regard than they would some Gop candidate with the Nazi son-in-law. California's Xavier Becerra is crushing Gop Steve Hilton's gubernatorials. House Gops have pretty much run out of time to pass their reconciliation package. You will not hear the answer to who won the 2020 election in the Senate confirmation hearings. You won't hear the answer to any questions, really. If actions speak louder than words, though, Todd Blanche just might not get the unanimous Gop support he needs to get confirmed. ICE continues to maraud, mauling the rights andbodies of anyone they're unable to get a kill shot on. The Secret Service does not want to be JD Vance's Uber. RIP to local legend Denise Oliver Velez.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to box up today's chaos. ICE has announced a temporary reduction in streetside executions. Federal hitmen do not take out exactly the correct people but at least meet quotas. Susan Collins might be a little concerned that this would happen to her, but Trump could not be more delighted that someone handles this for him before he takes the Lugar over later in this term. This Thursday night, Donald K. Trump plans to make this Friday morning more stupid than any on record. IQs might remain at record lows for weeks. John Ossoff knows why Trump is doing this. In Michigan, the Senate race is wide open, although falling into maybe familiar patterns. Minnesota governor's race is falling into a psychedelic pattern. Democrats lead by 26 points among "double haters" because voters just can't find as much to hate them about. $5.6 million goes to E. Jean Carroll. Meh, Trump can clear that in three medium bribes. Too bad for Donald that a unitary executive can't sue themselves or he'd have the USA deposited in the Caymen Islands by now. The art of dealing with Trump is to never make a deal with Trump. It shouldn't take AI to tell you that DOGE used AI to create federal policy. New York becomes the first state to impose a data center moratorium. RIP, Pat Oliphant, IMO, the reason that several generations got into politics.

David Waldman, the guy who brought us "pervert glasses" (Well, not the glasses per se, but the concept of, you know…) brings us the Tuesday KITM: RIP to who again? Congresspeople are dropping like very old flies. Mitch is that one on the windowsill who started buzzing again. Lindsey had done that a few times himself before disappearing into the carpet somewhere. Donald K. Trump noted how much they all were attracted to him, but what's another fly gone, more or less? Graham had no wife and kids, but did have a sister, which is close enough for government work. RIP to the State Department, laying off 1,300 employees in order to create the deep state of their dreams. When all is handled from the top down, there need not be a bottom. The National Guard will remain activated in DC as long as Trump is there, give or take. Who else is there to guard the Lincoln Reflecting Pool/Tractor Pull Arena, the gash of which might soon extend beyond the Washington Monument? Boosie Badazz is still working on his art of the deal after paying Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman for a pardon. E Jean Carroll finally received the $5.6m Trump owed her, sadly not as a giant novelty check in front of Trump Tower. She can do that for her upcoming big check. Corey Lewandowski, who has never once been suspected of propriety, is once again being suspected of impropriety. A federal judge finally said what federal judges should have been saying, probably since there's been Trumps in the US. Do you think that could be a bump in Todd Blanche'spath to confirmation tomorrow? Nah.

Greg Dworkin helped us round up the chaos of this R -1 weekend. Did you have Lindsey Graham buying the farm before Mitch McConnell? What's the process in South Carolina for replacing Graham? Will Republicans just dip into the loser bench from their most recent statewide primary? Too soon to start thinking about how the Republican Infirmity Crisis will impact the balance of power in the next Congress? Ha ha! Trick question! There's no such concept as "too soon" anymore! Texas may yet escape Republican clutches, with the Deporter-in-Chief always on the ballot. But don't let Democratic successes get you optimistic! It's time to bite your nails about [dramatic music]… Democratic Socialists! In random news: One of those "looksmaxxing" dumbasses is dead now, too. Even though he didn't die, there's a bit of procedural drama surrounding the replacement process for Rigor Tortoise. Remember the time we spent last week on the NATO countries working on making their escape from the US umbrella? Well, it's not just NATO anymore. And speaking of craptacular foreign entanglements, Jared Kushner may have just stepped in it, in Albania. Which borders on the Adriatic.

David Waldman invites you to donate today, before we are forced to call it Donald Kagro Trump in the Morning. It's the weekend, and Donald is… where? Hiding in an Iran-proof bunker? Hitting the links with Mitch? Lying in wait for the Reflecting Pool Antifa? Supervising the White House column restoration to more resemble palm trees as the Mar-a-Lago founding fathers intended? Trump has fired all Democrats with the Election Assistance Commission so that he can relax and get more shuteye during midterm election rigging meetings. The Commie Gas franchise is expanding with 3 new stores in the tristate area. Sign up for their new 5-year plan! If it wasn't for the tedious committee hearings, Kash Patel would be living the dream, brother.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin! Here! Today! Graham Platner has dropped out of the Maine Senate race. Well, pretty much, it's hard to tell. Platner doesn't seem to be much into introspection… which is the mark of a real blue-collar man, amirite guys? Donald K. Trump knew that Graham was a pig, and kindred spirit, the moment that he saw him. Democrats, however, haven't been quite sure which one of themselves that they should blame for this, but do agree it will put them at a perfect advantage once they replace Platner with the perfect candidate that they all can become arrayed behind. Gops wouldn't get in a mess like this, because they don't. Maine has fewer gubernatorial vexations. Mallory McMorrow doesn't have Nazi tats or screw around, but she's out anyhow. Meanwhile, Mike Rogers is a strong candidate. He's the STRONGEST candidate RARR! Trump flew his phony baloney Air Force Oneto Turkey and flew the real one back. After all, what's the point of being safe if you don't look cool? Trump had reasons, which were not believed, to which our Master Prevaricator shouted in retort, "That's simple, I was only LYING!" Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear wants Mitch McConnell to update him on his health… Ha, the joke's on Andy! At NATO, Turkish President Erdogan handed out guns like party favors. What will Mark Carney and Keir Starmer do? Trump should have no problem, as long as he has enough suit pockets empty of silverware and signing pens. A judge has ordered that E. Jean Carroll's $5 million be released to her. Maybe, she got it today. Federal Judge Emil Bove's verdict is that he luvs Donald. Zohran Mamdani is a "football" fan who will call it "soccer", no problem. He does not like VAR, however. Trump doesn't know what a red card is for, after all, his favorite sport is "ruining things".

David Waldman spoke to Mitch McConnell for about 20 minutes this morning, as he often does to prepare for shows. Mitch would like us all to remember that anyone can be a supporter of KITM on Patreon for the incredibly low price of only $5 per month! Noted anglophile Greg Dworkin reports that noted twat Nigel Farage has been appointed Crown Steward and Bailiff of Three of the Chiltern Hundreds, which sure is one way to attempt to keep out of jail for laundering crypto-pounds. Unfortunately for Nige, this puts him directly in the path of trash statesman Count Binface, Vermin Supreme of the Albion. Texas Gop Ken Paxton is hiding out in England or perhaps has found a new place to vote in the midterms. Either way, someone should quickly appoint him to something. Everything that dotard Donald K. Trump touches dies, except algae, and the Islamic Republic of Iran. There is no going back to our relationship with Europe. Greenland could use a restraining order, although that might encourage stalker violence without proper enforcement. Gops desperately hoping to save the Senate get a breather in Maine. Gops in Congress can enjoy the scenery on their way down. Zohran Mamdani is more popular than Benjamin Netanyahu, therefore, Rahm Emanuel will be Zohran Mamdani, or at least not Benjamin Netanyahu. Trump's kids all wanted an airplane ride… Ok, not his "kids", but his cabinet, but Donald doesn't like to play favorites... Ok, he loves to play favorites. It turns out that rich guys who have run out of things to spend money on, can buy airplanes.

David Waldman delivers us to Tuesday, the first Friday of the week. Clarence Thomas' check cleared, so it's once again time for the Trump Supreme Court opinion dump. It was "a mixed bag" of Supreme Court rulings, in that SCOTUS handed Trump everything that wasn't nailed down by the Constitution, but that they will have to get around to the rest over the next couple of years… Patience, Donald, Stephen, and Laura, SCOTUS always plays the long game. Conservative Justices are "originalists" in that they originally decided this outcome back when they were in law school …or even earlier when they heard their uncle say, "When the first one moves in, there goes the neighborhood". There's "America 250", and there's "Freedom 250". One, Trump skims off of, the other… he skims off of, also. One has "George the Star", the other has ""Manny the Masturbator". (I mean, have you seen Abigail Adams?) Trump has another special gift planned for the 250th, once they melt down enough gold fillings and watches to coat it. Websites designed to "catfish", "pharm", "phish", and… have been installed by DOGE, so what are you going to do about it? Signal is still the administration's app of choice. Mike Johnson will try to pass the SAVE America Act on the back of an upcoming defense bill while he throws together a quick 28th amendment to the Constitution.

It's chaos out there, but David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have got this part all figured out, comparatively. Generic Democrats are trouncing generic Republicans heading towards the midterms, probably because there are fewer "generic" Democrats running for office. Zohran Kwame Mamdani was too smart to become featured in the New York Post swimsuit edition. MAGA are too stupid to step in out of the rain. Donald K. Trump is running out of time to rig the election. Graham Platner has only begun to concern Susan Collins. In Alaska, Dan Sullivan is Dan Sullivan's biggest headache. Trump was indicted under the Espionage Act, which is one of many things you should be able to look into but can't. Todd Blanche's DOJ is violating the Epstein Files Transparency Act and Katie Phang is making him pay for it. Trump is solving Iran like Putin is solving Crimea. Mike Johnson is walking the fine line between compliance and complicity. In keeping with existing Trump guidelines, Bill Pulte has hired a Gop operative who looks like a Fox News anchor, likes to party, but acts like a tradwife (wink!) and really knows how to pad a LinkedIn. Trump is eager to begin work on the East Potomac public golf course before the law catches up with him and stops him.

David Waldman attempts to catch us up on last weekend before next weekend. Good luck! Sick of winning yet? You would think that Donald K. Trump might be sick of spinning losses as wins by now, but no. Some say that Trump's Iran truce has the "hallmarks of defeat", primarily the hallmark of "not winning", but "losing". But unless you actually read the terms of the agreement, all you have are facts and evidence on which to base your opinion. We do know that now Donald is mad at Bibi until the moment that Trump needs Netanyahu's, Isreal's, Evangelical's, or a donor's support. Elon Musk doesn't need much from anybody yet seems so needy. Elon egged on a race riot in Belfast, Northern Ireland, when he could have just had one Ubered in. Jeffrey Epstein paid a Palm Beach deputy to get special treatment in jail. Everything Trump touches turns into… petty insults and endless lawsuits.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin whoop it up for one thing or the other on today's KITM. Winning! The Knicks win and New York couldn't be happier. Losing! Trump's name comes off the Kennedy center. Trump hides his shame under a tarp while the scheming and rigging continue without pause. Winning!? The US declares victory and high tails it before the many Taco Tuesdays to follow. Pete Hegseth occasionally let Iran win so that the victory would be twice as sweet. It's hard to count the number of losers at the UFC thing Sunday. From airline pilots to US service members. As everything, there was only intended to be one winner. Abraham Lincoln suspended Habeas Corpus during the civil war, so why can't Stephen Miller do it to win an argument or two? Maggie Haberman has another house payment, so we get another news flash. Maybe she was just doing her job. I can't believe this is a news story! Extra-fat butter makes your baked potatoes out of this world!

David Waldman presents Kagro in the Morning, the best investment for your entertainment dollar… or dollars if you're rolling in it. Elon Musk, for instance, could pay several dollars for one of our episodes and hardly feel it. Ah, well, he's done so much for us already. There's the World Cup, if you'd want to see it, or are allowed to see it. Then there's the Idiocracy 250 Gladiator Jamboree this Sunday. It's not a good investment, but then again, you've already paid for it, so a 30 pack of Bud Light might be the only investment you need to make it enjoyable. Even in DC, however, the best sights remain the ones that you can see for free. Bill Pulte has some free time, so tourists can catch him promenading Tulsi Gabbard on her Walk of Atonement along the National Mall. New nominee Jay Clayton will be just as bad as Bill, but is less known going in, so he might be able to get away with more for a while. Trump is willing to forget that he was ever impeached, if we all agree to never speak of it again. Months, and weeks, and days, after its complete obliteration, Iran still has enough energy to bend Donald K. Trump over and art of the deal his brains out, leaving a strong memorandum of understanding on the nightstand on their way out. Once he's done with his Iran excursion, Donald is thinking that he might swing by and overthrow the District of Columbia... and Los Angeles… blue states… Ohio… Heck, make it everybody.

On today's KITM, we bring in David Waldman, who brings in Greg Dworkin, who brings in the latest primary updates and some news summaries, which is perfect, exactly what we needed them to do. There are a bunch of important elections this month, with some big ones yesterday. Going anti-Trump is working out well for Dems, not so much for Gops. Nancy Mace does hate the Trans but was not a true believer in hushing up the Epstein files, so she doesn't even get a participation trophy. Nothing to be too proud of there. Lindsey Graham still had to spend the kind of money some spend on a reflecting pool just to stay in office. On the other hand, Graham Platner ran the gauntlet and came out unscathed even without Kellyanne Conway's approval. Mike Johnson knows that he's never smelled anything like this around Trump. A yearslong effort to woo Trump culminates with the World Cup. Why? Sending Donald cash usually results in a quick turnaround. Donald K. Trump might be getting sick of winning, but he wants to see his arch before he gets too sick. Trump's arch could become taller than the Statue of Liberty, the same way Trump Tower became taller than the World Trade Center.

David Waldman fit a KITM into his Tuesday schedule, and ours! Everybody saw this coming. The New York Knicks won 13 times in a row, then Donald K. Trump touched their winning streak, and it died. Trump was greeted by boos. He was booed while he was there. He was booed as he was leaving. Trump heard "cheering", because he's an idiot or he thinks you are, or both. Trump was a deluded liar on Meet the Press. Are all Gops deluded liars? Are all MAGA? JD Vance and Mike Johnson are here to lie to the deluded. Omar Artan was set to be the first Somali to referee at the World Cup, but won't now, because he is Somali… It says it right there on his papers. Black Americans are moving back to southern states, which is why southern whites are in such a hurry to block them. Virginia was the first southern state to pass an assault weapons ban, which its rural counties won't enforce. JD Vance wants Tim Walz investigated for fraud. Trump wants to transfer billions in Iranian assets to Jared Kushner. Trump says he will not nominate Bill Pulte to be permanent intelligence chief. That's ok, John Thune will handle it. Todd Blanche loves Donald so much that he'll handle anything for him.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin recall the weekend and envision the week on today's KITM. Donald K. Trump burned through 11 layers of makeup before doddering off the set of Hee Haw/Meet the Press on Sunday. Facts do anger Trump but will never stop him. Donald makes it about himself. If he can make America's 250th anniversary all about him, why not some basketball game? If the game can't be played, Trump can stand in the center of the court and bask… in whatever they want to bask him in. It doesn't matter as long as he's being basked. Scott Pelley was at CBS supervising the editing of videos to make ICE protesters look like rioters, when Bari Weiss came along and tried to make him cross his ethical line. Brendan Carr can tell you it is the boss who always draws the ethical lines. Often it is the boss who erases the ethical lines. Anywhere the Trump Supreme Court draws a line, at that moment it is exactly where that line should go. If there was a Purcell principle for Secretaries of State, it was just violated in Texas. Meanwhile, Ken Paxton's defense lawyer endorses James Talarico.

David Waldman's house is on the blink. The basement wiring is frayed, the ceiling skylight is plastered over, and some guy is running around with a chainsaw. Yet, David remained focused on delivering a KITM in the quality that you've come to expect. Donald K. Trump says Bill Pulte won't be his nominee for director of national intelligence… well, not his "permanent" choice, whatever that means. Gops aren't voting for Bill, which means a lot more. Trump's Jan 6 slush fund is dead, dead, dead, but might be feeling better soon. The Senate passed a reconciliation bill without driving a stake through its heart. Now, the SAVE act, that's pretty much dead. So, Trump's description of the War Powers Resolution should be expected to be "wrong, misleading in a way in which it is true, but irrelevant"... and it is all of those things. But what is the War Powers Resolution, and what really sets it apart from your regular run-of-the-mill war powers resolutions? David knows and tells!

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin ponder and elucidate the world's mysteries and conundrums on today's KITM, and probably their off hours as well. As polls go, Donald K. Trump is the loserest. While Trump loses, folks prefer Sherrod Brown even more. Not just in comparison to Trump, but to the palooka he's running against, too. Zohran's Mamdanimentum mounts even after election. People now publicly cheer his political ads! It's Zohran vs Donald at Knicks' Game 3 at Madison Square Garden! Momentum always seems to be heading in the opposite direction of Graham Platner, but he presses on. The Trump Supreme Court gives Alabama a chance to use a map already found to be unconstitutional, which wouldn't seem like something SCOTUS would do, until you remember that they aren't SCOTUS anymore. The Gop House voted for a resolution to end the Iran war, which everyone knows that we won through obliteration ages ago, like Viet Nam. Meanwhile, the Senate voted to finally consider funding immigration enforcement agencies, following their decision to pretend that Trump has given up on his Jan 6 slush fund.

It's one of those Wednesdays after one of those Tuesdays. David Waldman would be delighted to have Greg Dworkin haul in his Raft O' Stories™ anytime, but June's Tuesdays are looking to be extra special. In New Jersey, Adam Hamawy won a 12-candidate Democratic primary and might face ex-Independent ex-Libertarian ex-Independent ex-Libertarian Republican Gregg Mele, a perpetual underdog despite his catchy slogan. California is still counting their many votes, but the name to know gubernatorially is Xavier Becerra. The thing to know in Iowa is that Donald K. Trump is a fat loser and will continue to be both for the foreseeable future. Trump is a cartoon villain who is finally beginning to lose in cartoonish ways. Sadly, this villain lives in the real world with us. The guy that Trump has picked to take over the Department of National Intelligence, Bill Pulte, seems to have entered from a darker, yet more funny, unreality, again, unfortunately all too real. Scott Pelley died with his boots on, fighting for the life of 60 Minutes. Will his CBS comrades fight or hide? Meanwhile, the Trump Supreme Court rules from the shadows again, throwing another election, this time to Alabama.

A true necessity in these trying times: a genuinely comfortable and durable t-shirt. And I know where you can get them! [Ed. note: No I don't! That one appears to be sold out!] In semi-good news today, there is evidence that Trump has been temporarily stymied in the establishment of his stolen $2 billion slush fund. Some are taking that to mean that he's reversing course. But wiser heads aren't so sure. In yet another policy reversal, Trump announces that he's become "bored" by the stalemated Iran "negotiations." This is a minor deviation from his earlier declaration that he could never find the topic boring, and anyway he never gets bored by anything. The dumbest story to actually break during today's show: We're getting an even worse [Acting] Director of National Intelligence. On the upside, he's actually terrible at framing people. What's wrong with Todd Blanche? Everything. Specifically, these 10 terrible things. Remember them, in case there's ever an opportunity to hold him accountable for them. Did pervy dilettante Paolo Zampolli actually introduce Melania to Trump? The pervy dilettante's ex-wife says that's just a cover story. Not that it's important or anything. How awesome are AI tech support chatbots? They're so awesome that if you ask them to give you access to someone else's high profile Instagram account, they can do it! Now that's service! Longtime listeners may remember that ages ago, I applied for Congressional Radio & TV gallery credentials on behalf of Daily Kos. The application was rejected on the basis that Daily Kos was "too partisan," as there were frequently found in its content… links to ActBlue pages [dramatic music]! So naturally, you won't believe the list of conservative partisans who now hold those credentials. Or will you?

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin describe two hours of highlights from the unending parade of stupidity and corruption. Even with all the money coming in from Brawndo and other sponsors, millions in "partner investment" into the UFC Freedom 250 have been unaccounted for. We all know where it's all going, though. The attending audience will represent a cross-section of America's rich and beautiful. Trump got a $620 million deal for his ne'er-do-well sons. He has routed billions to them this year. You got something against a father's love? Donald K. Trump has identified the camel not once, twice, but four successful times in a row, a presidential record that should stand for all time, unlike his name on the Kennedy Center. Trump's drone-proof DronePort might not happen either. Good news! Delinquent credit card balances are 13%! Gas prices are high now, and higher soon! People will be spending money like they have never spent before! Nobody is sicker of winning than farmers, which is why they support… Trump. If MAGA can't afford gas, they'll walk to the polls to vote Trump. Creating a Blue Texas would be as tough as taking Christ out of Christianity, so… pretty doable, actually. In Alaska, all Gop Dan Sullivan has to fear is Dan Sullivan himself.

It might be an uneventful weekend, if there are no anomalies. David Waldman and KITM could be the biggest thrill you get! Martina McBride, Bret Michaels, Milli Vanilli, and scores of other bands and performers that you were dimly aware of decades ago are now bowing out of Trump's "Freedom 250". Groups are vying to sign up so that they too can bail out for the street cred. Kid Rock is still waiting for his invitation. Trump Is spending millions to cover four horse statues in gold before he selects one as Senator at the event. But of course, he did: Trump is having the DOJ launch a criminal investigation on his rape victim, E. Jean Carroll. But of course, it is: This investigation is a major headache for Senate Gops. A judge has temporarily blocked Trump from ladling out slush to his Jan 6 troopers, while fraud charges are being investigated against him. Kilmar Abrego Garcia is not guilty again and again, while probably never to actually go free. Joe Biden has plenty of reasons to sue the DOJ and has picked one. Trump refiles his lawsuit against the Wall Street Journal, because he can. Shhh… Samuel Alito's son has been quietly working for Trump's Treasury department. History's biggest pyramid scheme might not be propping up America's economy for much longer.

David Waldman has more crazy to tell us about. Greg Dworkin has discovered more polls to share. We shall reconvene forthwith. 4.5% of the Texas voting population has spoken, electing deplorable Ken Paxton over deplorable wannabee John Cornyn. That' sa lot of deplorables, enough for a Trump win, maybe enough fora Republican loss. At least that's the dream. Today, the good news is that James Talarico has shaken up the race and gave life to the Democratic cause across the state. Texas Gop money will pour into convincing their voters that they are capable of holding their noses tight enough to vote for Paxton. More importantly, with John Cornyn gone, so is the money and clout that he brought to the state as a ranking Senator. Seniority used to be the path to money and clout in government. Those days seem long gone. To commemorate their departure, Donald K. Trump hopes to pass some illegal tender to the geeks and carnies out in the back yard building a stage for the Milli, or Vanilli concert. Nicki Minaj, Kid Rock and Ted Nugent are too big for this gig… oops, Milli Vanilli ends up locating a threshold of embarrassment. Trump has no threshold. Trump threatens to attack Oman, intervened to score another $640 million for Junior, and $13.1 million for his pool boy. He wants to jail his rape victim, E. Jean Carroll.

David Waldman is joined by Greg Dworkin and his Raft O' Stories, Polls, and Election Results™. Yay! Ken Paxton won last night! Any candidate Donald K. Trump wants is pretty much who Democrats want. Fraud and sex abuse are becoming planks in the Republican platform. James Talarico invites John Cornyn supporters to vote for him. Most won't, but some will, and their votes count just as well. It is doubtful that many embarrassed Cornyn voters will be voting for Talarico, but he needs all the help he can get. Dems understand this and are aiming for more unity and a bigger tent this go-round. Some get that more than others. Al Green got it but has gotten it long enough. Mysterious Meddlers paid through Gop channels are placing fake Dems in primaries, including Texan Maureen Galindo, who is a lot more MTG than AOC. South Carolina's Gop gerrymander might be too late. Alabama's might be too racist. Neither Trump nor his Supreme Court gives a damn. Trump isn't fooling anyone. Everyone knows he's full of shit. That might make lying to your face even more satisfying really, because he can. Trump emptied the Board of Peace cookie jar while no one was looking, not that it was unexpected. Why bother putting effort into peace if it doesn't put money in his pockets? You might remember being assigned Roots: The Saga of an American Family, the book and miniseries in school. Well, Tennessee schools are able to assign it again!

David Waldman catches up after yesterday's weekend catching up. Groundbreaking… more like "spiritbreaking" has continued on the Donald K. Trump Memorial Ballroom-Führerbunker–Thunderdome–Hotel-Casino and Gentleman's Club. Is Trump only in it for himself, or is he… well… there really is no other alternative explanation is there? The world will have to admit that it has never seen a bigger crook. Tulsi Gabbard just couldn't keep up. All stick, no carrot has made Gop Senators less productive than usual as they head to a reconciliation bill right after they pass the previous reconciliation bill. The only one who doesn't want to just pack it up and bug out is the Senate parliamentarian. The United States might have become too much of a corrupt human rights horror for even FIFA. If so, why not Mexico? Meanwhile, Palantir and other tech companies bring us our dystopian future today, exploit-maxxing their Zyn Bro employees by juicing them up with stims.

It's Memorial Day, a contemplative, ruminative, respectful holiday... He's going to either drop nukes or golf today, isn't he? Maybe both? David Waldman and Greg Dworkin reflect upon the holiday, and wax nostalgic on the days that giants strode the halls of congress. Every day is Donald Trump Day for Donald K. Trump. It's easier for him to remember. Donald Trump days will eventually run out though... eventually. They are at least becoming shorter all the time. Therefore, it makes sense for Trump to concentrate on finishing up his bunker. Trump might be the only one who actually believes that this bunker is the only one that he will have available to him. Memorial Day is definitely not the day Trump would want to contemplate his Iran war. Trump would never have had to wage this war if Barack Hussein Obama hadn't committed so much competency. Speaking of competency, that's the one thing CBS would never allow these days or would never allow if anyone competent worked there anymore.

More stuff happened™; therefore, David Waldman made a KITM to tell us about it. The heist was running so smoothly… The DOJ was to pretend to stop a robbery, the IRS was to hand them the cash out the back door… Split the haul, plenty to go around… Then somebody got greedy. The Trump family wanted a cut of everything, forever. That got everyone's attention, so now things aren't so quiet anymore. The Senate GOP canceled their ICE bill vote over it. House and Senate Democrats are doing something about it. Gop Ralph Norman says that Jan. 6 was staged by Trump haters, except for the ones who were convicted of crimes who are heroes. Gop Thom Tillis says he won't vote for Iran war powers resolution and is against the Jan 6 slush fund because it is bad policy, it's bad timing and it's bad politics. Donald hates that nitpicking. John Thune doesn't know what to do, so he'll just go home. There are no cameras where Gop Tom Kean is… in San Francisco, Las Vegas, and several local banks. A federal judge told the White House personnel to comply with Presidential Records Act. Well, some of them. Some you can't tell anything. Federal prosecutors have dismissed all charges against the "Broadview Six," as it was looking like the lawyers themselves were the ones deserving of going to jail. Judges have ruled against ICE 10,000 times. That isn't enough. There is now a nationwide arrest warrant for an ICE agent, and that isn't enough. It turns out that the Trump Iran war was mostly for Israel and is destroying the world economy, who'd guess? Update: Clavicular has avoided jail time for shooting a dead alligator in public… and no, he wasn't "that" happy to see the verdict, those are actually shopping bags full of soup cans in his pants.

The "Clavicular of Podmaxxers", David Waldman, is joined by Greg Dworkin today in mogging MAGA, amongst others, on today's KITM. Jeffrey Epstein! That is why this is all happening, but don't knock the grift. There's Donald K. Trump's patriotic Jan 6 slush fund grift, the $1.776 billion Looting of America, marked down from $10 billion Just for you… and because Donald couldn't get the $10 billion. $8 billion off, and it's still corruption like nobody's ever seen, and anyhow, he and his boys have plenty of time to pick up the rest. That is, if the rest of the gang doesn't wuss out on him, or the cops don't stop him. Gops might drop Trump's billion-dollar ballroom grift, at least a billion dollars of it. There are still the drone-proof drone empire, and the Trump Presidential Spider Hole to grift. And, the Arch grift, which is as the Founders would have wanted. There is also the Trump-Bibi-Iran War grift, racking up an extra $40,000,000,000.08 In gas so far. David discovered a bargain with E15 gas, which might not be a great bargain in the long haul, but his car will just learn to toughen up in these tough times. Democrats could be in disarray, but so are Republicans, the good news is that Dems are used to it. 90% of the Colorado Democratic Party voted to reprimand Governor Jared Polis. Voters generically like Democrats but specifically dislike Republicans. Once they get to know Dems, they might like them better. Trump wins more, even as more hate him. Voters would prefer the Democrats they don't know over Trump. RIP, Barney Frank, who would have had fun, and would have been fun in today's politics.

It's Wednesday, and unless you're Louisianan or something weird like that, that means election follow up. And election follow up means Greg Dworkin. And Greg Dworkin means pundits get abbreviated and rounded up. This morning, everyone's attention was diverted to The Slush Fund. Everyone was talking about it. Even the big time pols, who are supposed to be talking about such things, but often seem to take days to do so. Not this time! Even Josh Shapiro is on it. Republicans are on it, too. Some of them are hinting that they'll run away from it (i.e., the elected ones), while others (the trolling operatives) are already claiming they've formally applied for a payoff, as unlikely as that is to be true. By the way, does the name in the story ring a bell? He was supposed to have turned over a new leaf in life, but it turns out it's just the same leaf over and over. But after that, it was that elections thing I previously mentioned. They happened in Kentucky, where Thomas Massie found out (though he surely saw it coming) that keeping your 2024 campaign promises that were also Donald Trump's 2024 campaign promises gets you kicked out by Donald Trump in 2026. They also happened in Georgia, where Republicans also found out that preventing Donald Trump from fulfilling 2020 campaign promises didn't help, either. Georgia also reelected nominally Republican state Supreme Court Justices on the 2026 equivalent of the butterfly ballot. Anyhoo... Trump's backing got lots of crazy nutbars through their primaries, but getting through November is another story. This story, to be precise. And they've got data for that. After all that, pretty soon we'll get to see if it's the same story all over again, but in Texas. And keep in mind, Republicans who lose their jobs during Trump's "retribution tour" are now free to do as they please. (Unless they're threatened with murder or whatever.) But they still have to choose to show up to do it. On the Democratic side of the ledger, Jared Polis is pretty sure that eventually, everyone's gonna see his Tina Peters commutation as rainbows and unicorns. But right now, people see it as... well, there could be a horse involved. I guess. Israeli and American war "planners" may have given the reins over to the other end of the horse as well, when they hatched this scheme to bomb Mahmoud "I'm a Dinner Jacket" Ahmadinejad out of "jail" and into the presidency of Iran. It did not work, possibly on account of the bomb.

I had such a lovely little summary all written for you! But WordPress frightened and confused me, and now it has been overwritten. Ah, well. This is a list of the stories we used in today's show. If you don't know why we used them, you may never know, for I am not going to tell you, it seems. I did try. But then I un-tried. This is Trump's fault. https://bsky.app/profile/rparloff.bsky.social/post/3mm7esvdyt223 (This is a rundown of why the "settlement" is bullshit.) https://bsky.app/profile/chip.bsky.social/post/3mm7ef5w4e22i (Is there a 14th Amendment problem with the "settlement?" Is there, indeed, a 14th Amendment?) https://bsky.app/profile/paulwaldman.bsky.social/post/3mm6dd46yqc2b (This is the story of one of several child molesters that it is supposed that Trump will pay with his "settlement" fund.) https://bsky.app/profile/atrupar.com/post/3mm7kq6zxj723 (This is Todd Blanche saying he will go ahead and pay him.) https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/san-diego-mosque-shooting-victims-islam-center-suspects-what-know-rcna345805 (The tragic news from out of San Diego.) https://bsky.app/profile/proptermalone.bsky.social/post/3mm6dtafhkk22 (The tragic "response" from "Homeland Security.") https://www.nytimes.com/2026/05/16/business/media/influencers-political-financing-disclosure.html?unlocked_article_code=1.jFA.g0Ia.o7Z55fKtu3Sy&smid=nytcore-ios-share (Influencer payola! "Both sides!" But twenty paragraphs before actually mentioning the main Republican example!) https://bsky.app/profile/beyerstein.bsky.social/post/3mm5vszkuxk2h (That Republican example's previous history of smear jobs that appear nowhere at all in the Times story, for some reason.) https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2026/05/09/ben-shapiro-daily-wire-maga-media/?pwapi_token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJyZWFzb24iOiJnaWZ0IiwibmJmIjoxNzc4Mjk5MjAwLCJpc3MiOiJzdWJzY3JpcHRpb25zIiwiZXhwIjoxNzc5NjgxNTk5LCJpYXQiOjE3NzgyOTkyMDAsImp0aSI6ImUwYjNmMTZiLTFkMGUtNDc2Zi1iZGE3LWI1N2M3ZDE5OGVkYiIsInVybCI6Imh0dHBzOi8vd3d3Lndhc2hpbmd0b25wb3N0LmNvbS90ZWNobm9s (The saga of Ben Shapiro's Daily Wire possibly collapsing under the weight of its own hubris, and also lots of other people's hubris.)

They let Trump back into the country, so it's Chaos Time again! Greg Dworkin came armed with the usual roundup. As we mentioned last week, we've moved from Special Election season straight into primary season. And we had one over the weekend. Who has primaries on the weekends? Smart people Weirdos! Like Louisianans! But there's more to come on Tuesday, and they're reading the early vote ballot selection tea leaves. Even when it's just a primary, it means something when the ratio of ballots selected shifts toward Democrats every single time. And Georgians have more than usual at stake in what will be, on Tuesday, a final and determinative general (but "non-partisan") election for their Supreme Court, concurrent with primaries for everything else. All of this takes place in the context of record, floor-shattering lows for Trump's own polling. He's losing ground with his base. He's losing ground with his coalition. He's losing ground on his issues. But there are still enough Republican primary voters to turn things his way in these early contests. Not that that doesn't cost him ground, too. Because yes, small though the number may be, recoverable Republicans are in fact changing their minds. The combination–mathematically–has got to be enough. So, about that weekend Chaos I mentioned: Jared Polis has done the dumb thing, and though defenses are being offered, it remains dumb. Also generally chaotic: we may soon be adding motor oil shortages to skyrocketing gas prices. And Kash Patel turns out to have probably literally pissed on the graves of our Pearl Harbor dead, thus proving that there is no bridge too far. Further proof: Trump is ordering the Treasury to fill a sack with taxpayer money and hand it over to him. And though that's pretty chaotic, it is actually OK, because he is demanding a patriotic number of dollars. U-S-A! We also caught up on some pre-weekend Chaos. First, the slow-leaking of Trump's humiliation in China, where he accomplished nothing. Second, more public lands shenanigans. By which I mean the ultra-wealthy grabbing still more public things from out of your hands, in order–mostly–to not even really put them in their own, private hands. They just own them in case they remember at some point that they actually have them, and might like to use them. (or not!) Instead of you.

There's always room for a little more travelogue, right? Even when we're not traveling? Don't forget to choose your side in the In-N-Out vs. Culver's war kinetic action excursion! In other travel news, they opted not to sedate the president for his return trip to China. So you can anticipate a full day of Aaron Rupar clips of him damaging national security and the international geopolitical order. Well, if we're not traveloguing all day, then why not start the day instead with some lighthearted accusations of international espionage? It's yet another case of Billionaire Brainrot, as some guy who should have better things to do sets out in earnest to attack... some regular, normal people. Well, some Democrats from Utah, anyway. Why? Because AI profits, of course. Hey, remember when Republicans were just out to "relitigate Watergate?" And then the relitigators had their children's faces eat by leopards? No? Well, never mind, because as usual, we're way beyond that now. This is just the latest entry (but a good one that's worth your time) in the "revolutionary moment" discourse, there's another new data point that drives the theme home in a different way: 50 years after the unifying moment of the entire nation being captivated by the TV miniseries adapted from Roots, Knox County, TN (where a statue of the author Alex Haley stands today) is now banning the book from its school libraries. zOMFG. This may require a brief suspension of disbelief, but I do think we have a contender for Trump's most nakedly corrupt move so far. It was previously a different version of today's story, but the alleged diminution in value from $10 billion to a mere $1.7 billion didn't make it any less corrupt, in the end. (Nor does it preclude ratcheting the corruption back up to $10 billion, or indeed any other figure he'd like to imagine.) Yes, it's the Trump-sues-himself-and-then-orders-himself-to-settle-with-himself case. Only now it involves using the case to "fund" a sort of "victims' compensation fund," where the "victims" are anybody he'd like to give cash to. Oh, you wanna hear about more corruption? OK, fine. Them Duke Trump boys are miraculously always getting in just in time on investments that pay off big when their dad's government make decisions about major contract awards mere days after they buy in to the recipients of those contracts! And this time, they're doing it with a big play in Kazakh tungsten. Which I guess means dad won't be freeing up any Chinese tungsten on his trip. And some people are wondering whether the fact that deals like this always seem to involve defense contracts is the reason why they won't cut Whisky Pete Hic-seth loose. You want a story about dad's own corrupt stock plays? Well, I have one. Does it play into this week's GINA trip? Duh! Of course! His attention span isn't long enough to sustain anything else, you know. What about cronyism, though? Isn't there a corrupt cronyism story today? Yes, but it involves a connection to the other nation of 1 billion-plus, not the one he was visiting. But what about corruption, cronyism and pointless jingoism? Can we get a trifecta? Yes we can, to borrow and completely unfairly tar a perfectly good catchphrase. How about by "committing" to 250 pardons for America's 250th birthday? Definitely going to be corrupt (and crony-licious), because Trump. And by God, 250 of them really is pointlessly jingoistic. We've done it!

David Waldman is fighting a cold while fighting the good fight, hell, you got something to fight, he'll fight it. No beef with Greg Dworkin though. That guy is cool. Donald K. Trump is in 'GINA with his most trusted advisors: money. Listening to Xi Jinping talking Thucydides makes a much more restful naptime than listening to Lil' Marco LuLu Rubio. The Trump Iranian war rages because Fetterman is more MAGA than Murkowski. Meanwhile, Ukraine and Denmark make winning wars more accessible for the budget conscious. Generic Democrats are breaking away from generic Republicans in generic ballots, which is great news, as many Democrats are pretty generic. Listen, if people want someone who believes in causes that they will fight for, Hareem Jeffries will look into that, sure. The Trump Counterterrorism Strategy makes protesters Antifa and Antifa terrorists, while LGBT and Q are qualified from birth.

David Waldman welcomes back Greg Dworkin for all the laughs and links: Samuel Alito cited "fudged data", some say "lied", in order to gut voting rights, as if Trump's Supreme Court needed to lie to gut voting rights. Tennessee won't stop with eliminating voting rights for blacks, any rights will do. Now they did it! Dems are angry now, just watch them do… something! Voters are voting Democratic because there is no way it could be worse. In fact, in Nebraska, they voted Dem Cindy Burbank in (over the fake Dem William Forbes) because she promised to drop out to strengthen the Independent candidate Dan Osborn against the Republican Pete Ricketts. In Connecticut, they are voting out the 14-term incumbent, John B. Larson, to put in the "do something" candidate, Luke Bronin. The Donald K. Trump Iran war continues. The only thing Trump hates more than Iranians are Americans. He doesn't hate Iran that much. After all, he destroyed more US missiles than Iranian ones. Does Donald hate the press or women more? Trump is in China on behalf of world peace and has been so busy with plans to cut the world into pieces that he didn't talk to the press for the 20-hour trip over there. There will be plenty of CEOs to talk with, so Xi Jinping might just let Trum nap. Chinese Communist spy and former Arcadia Mayor Eileen Wang probably could have used a ride back to China, after she pled guilty to acting as an illegal foreign agent.

Day Two back at home didn't feel any more organized to me than Day One, but it was more like a regular show than the past month's worth have been, anyway. I'll take it! The show being as much for me as it is for you, I found myself playing catch-up on the air with the background of the Virginia redistricting situation. We've all heard what happened in the Virginia Supreme Court, but… did it make sense? Would Dems really not be fighting back with all they had? And what did they have? There was at least one pretty seriously hardball suggestion floated, but it seemed to unnerve them, or worry them that Republicans would take revenge. Only they already have. But maybe it's not too let for Dems to do nothing, but in a good way. We also spent a moment catching up on the travelogue portion of the show. We were still on the road over the weekend, you know, making quick visits to two additional National Parks on the way home: New River Gorge and Shenandoah. Which was as good a reminder as any that all public lands–not just the famous or even lesser-known National Parks–are under attack and in need of your defense. Meanwhile, the collapse of American international leadership continues apace. The hantavirus outbreak is the first time in decades that the world couldn't turn to American leadership in matters of disease control and public health, thanks to Trump. But you and I (and the rest of the world) know the problem runs much, much deeper than that. In a classic sign of imperial decay, America has turned pirate. And Talk Like a Pirate Day isn't until September! Meanwhile, as Trump heads to China, they already consider American decline an open secret. I'm sure this visit will go great.

David Waldman returns to KITM World Headquarters from his Great American Road Trip, sponsored by Boeing, Toyota, Shell, Royal Caribbean, United Airlines, Google, and Enterprise… No, wait, that was Sean Duffy, who took 7 months paid time off from Porn Hub to make the kind of TV show that only Kristi Noem and Kash Patel could have come up with. The national debt is outgrowing the G.D.P. Putting a lien on Donald K. Trump's ballroom and arch won't be enough to address his spendthrift ways, and the usual cost prevention method of killing the poor and weak is never as effective as expected. People are sick of all of the defeating we're doing in Iran; we might not be able to stand much more. Orange is the new MAGA, as a presidential pardon won't keep Michele Fiore out of prison or help Tina Peters escape hers. Ghislaine Maxwell is a different story. In fact, fellow inmates can stay in prison longer by just talking about her.

David Waldman is coming home! That's good, because the place has been falling apart without him. The Waldmans still have some tourism left in them though. They stopped at Lambert's Cafe (The Home of THROWED ROLLS!) to get their fill of hog jowls and fried chicken. I have catched some rolls there myself and recommend it. Later they stopped at Uranus, which I hear is a quite popular destination, although I personally have never had the pleasure of a visit. Chief Justice of the Trump Supreme Court, John Roberts asserts that his Supreme Court is not political. Giggling right-wing partisans wholeheartedly agree. Democrats who prefer to wait until all hope is lost feel that time might soon be approaching. Who would guess that Alligator Alcatraz would be a bad idea? Probably anyone who considered why its namesake closed. Rudy Giuliani is still "alive". Cigar aficionado Giuliani, 81, remains in poor health because of a noun, a verb, and 9/11. A Secret Service agent at a Trump event followed a woman up to her room, took off all of his clothes, and masturbated in the hallway. Even in the Kash Patel era, this is considered "unprofessional". Donald K. Trump had his "Military" force Apple to stop his iPhone from autocorrecting Melania's name to "Melody". He directed his motorcade to drive through the National Mall reflecting pool. Oh, and he kills a lot of people, too. What can you do about all of this? You can do many, many things. But you could begin with sending a letter to Congress for better treatment of public lands and federal employees or sending this letter demanding to stop further NPS staffing cuts and restore their staff!

Today on his travels, David Waldman sighted a Scissortail Flycatcher, a Wilson's Phalarope, a Lesser Yellowlegs, a quite rare Joan Jett Blakk, and several interesting news stories that he would like to share. Donald K. Trump tacoed on his Iran war, then he tacoed on the taco, while threatening to taco his taco-taco. Stephen Colbert hates one of the tacos, so does Hugh Hewitt. Polymarket loves all the tacos. France is betting things are going to get worse. Chief Justice John Roberts says the Trump Supreme Court isn't being political; you are being political. Sam Alito says he isn't being political; it's Ketanji Brown Jackson. Neil Gorsuch says he isn't being political; it's the other 8 justices. Gops say… thank you. Trump is dumping toxic waste into a public golf course, as he exclusively dumps bodies into his. The judge isn't going to go all "Amy Poehler" about it. Gops determine that raising the price of Trump's ballroom to a billion dollars should secure them the House in the midterms. Oh well, YOLO, if they're going to crash and burn, they might as well aim to make a big hole.

David Waldman continues his travels, seeing the sights, absorbing the history, browsing the merch, recording a podcast! Donald K. Trump is a loser, and everyone knows it, even him, or at least he'll be figuring that out real soon. The Trump-Iran war is a catastrophe turning into a bigger catastrophe that Trump's tacos can no longer save. In fact, if Trump doesn't crash soon, we all will crash big. MAGA loves failures that pretend they aren't. That was Trump Media's selling point. The DOJ quit minding laws a while back, now they're just the muscle to take down 78-year-old scientists. A few Indiana state Senators didn't like rigging elections, so Trump had them 86'd, if you pardon the term. The SAVE act would have sunk democracy, but not passing it earns Gop pity points. Ohio's back, baby! Well, almost. Now we need to get Sherrod Brown and Dr. Amy Action! Acton into office.

David Waldman, on his way out of Santa Fe, knew that he shouldn't have taken that left turn at Albuquerque and has ended up driving along the Champs-Élysées chased by a local chef. While he waits for his GPS to recalculate, David thought he would record a few stories that we might enjoy. The gunshot victim found in the trunk of a carduring a traffic stop in San Marino isn't quite dead yet. Neither is Rudy Guiliani. The guy shot by the Washington Monument is doing comparatively well, as is the child bystander. The US economy, however, is at death's door, pulling Jerome Powell out of retirementbefore he could even get into it. Donald K. Trump proclaims that war is over! Pete Hegseth announces that the ceasefire is holding! The bombs that drop and the boats that sink from this moment on are a brand-new war that we are now fighting againstthose despicable Hormuzians who should not be confused with any other local deplorables. The newspaper in David's hotel lobby confirms what we've all suspected: Trump is crazy. He will always be crazy. He is getting crazier. We are all going crazy with him. Meanwhile, we have Rosalyn MacGregorbreaking the news to us that some Dems don't mind going low against one another in a primary. Candidate Joanna Whaleyunfortunately, has heard it all before.

East bound and down, David Waldman is loaded up and truckin' through the Saguaro with his significant staffer to deliver our latest KITM. The Donald K. Trump Notta War quietly rages on as the Navy kills Iranians with kindness, and other ordnance. If Trump pulls a few thousand soldiers out of Germany, where is he going to put them? What shall we do with the drunken Hegseth? Iran makes social media a key front in war against America Trump wants a favor from Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum. Granting Trump a favor never does anyone any favors. The US never asks permission for anything they do in Mexico anyhow. Infowars aired its last episode this week, and also their first episode. The difference is that this Infowars will pay their debts.

David Waldman is still travelling through California and he's feeling swell! And so can you by visiting our sponsor of sorts, FEELING SWELL! Greg Dworkin returns! He has a Raft O' Stories™ too! (With minimal X-crap) Donald K. Trump is disliked. He is disapproved. He's taking down his Gops heading into the midterms. Trump's approval has hit a record low among his core voters. Just ask them, they'll tell you… before they vote JD Vance in '28. Don't you wish all politics could be just local again? There goes the Voting Rights Act. There go voting rights. Why is there so much confusion about the White House Correspondents Association shooter? Yep, you guessed it. Republicans held it together just long enough to end the DHS shutdown.

David Waldman and KITM, now departing from San Luis Obispo with stops at Lompoc, Ventura, Azusa… and Kook…amonga! All aboard! For MAGA, "owning the libs" means being "hotter" than them too, by Trump's definition. Rosalyn MacGregor returns with an article by Michael Cohen, that Michael Cohen, warning us about Project 2025 and the hidden war on women to be fought over the next 250 years. Trump's 60 Minutes interview was edited, even though Trump sued 60 Minutes for editing interviews. That sounds hypocritical. Democrat's redistricting win lasted a few hours before being blocked by a court order, which unfortunately has not been halted by the Virginia Supreme Court. The Southern Poverty Law Center has been indicted for paying the groups it has helped to expose and prosecute for 55 years. The administration does not have a case, because a case would make a quick and easy smear campaign difficult and time consuming.

Today, David Waldman and KITM Production Staff drove through Monterey California on route to Lover's Point. I wasn't supplied with the links to that, but they did supply links to some news topics that they discussed: There was that "ballroom shooting"… John Fetterman and Lindsey Graham wish that you just get over your TDS by picking up the tab on the Donald K. Trump Ballroom. Security is much tighter on you reading Cole Tomas Allen's manifesto than it was on Cole Tomas Allen and his guns, because Trump would rather be shot than embarrassed. Trump called off Witkoff and Kushner's travel to Pakistan for peace talks because Trump would rather have everyone shot than be embarrassed… which is pretty damn embarrassing. New Jersey Gop Tom Kean Jr. has disappeared! Just follow the money. Trump has been known to recycle a lot at his private golf clubs, but why is he choosing to dump East Wing rubble, plus another thousand or so truckloads of dirt, into a public park, unless he planned on making it someone's private golf club?

This weekend, David Waldman met Justice Putnam and his snoozing sous-chef, drove through a tree and interviewed sealions, what more do you want, news? Okay! A firearm was discharged in the vicinity of the Washington Hilton Saturday night. Kari Lake seized the suspect before he could escape. On an adjacent floor, JD Vance immediately evacuated, then was escorted out by secret service agents. Some elderly bystander claimed to have witnessed everything and would have saved everyone too, if he had been allowed to… There then followed a sales presentation for the construction of a competing facility, and Cole Tomas Allen deserves some of that commission. Donald K. Trump of course escaped unharmed, near death as always, and also a ranting, insecure, dotard. His polls will probably go up following this long-awaited pivot. Navy Secretary John Phelan was sending Trump naughty nautical deck pix, but they weren't impressive, so it's Hung Cao time! Hung is afraid that witches are overtaking the nation! Well, they caught the guy who was betting on military raids before they happened. Prediction markets are completely legit now.

Yes, I did recommend that tin can that David Waldman used to record today's KITM, but I did not spec out that string… David might have told you that we would have beautiful sound in "two weeks", but what he really meant to tell you is, "Don't rush" him. The Waldmans pass through beautiful Astoria, the coastal city that seems like it was plucked right out of a storybook, and like it has had a thousand movies plucked right out of it, including one of David's earlier roles in Kindergarten Cop. Donald K. Trump plans to rename everything good after himself and eliminate any bad references. That should work great, right? As long as time no longer moves forward from this point. What would accountability look like if Democrats were back in control? The ex–FBI informant who tried to Smirnov Joe Biden has been slipped out of prison. It might not be named the "Trump War", but that name will do until he gets us into something bigger. Having achieved complete victory in Iran, Trump and Pete Hegseth now are wiping out the top echelons of our armed forces. Replacements will be assigned once Donald's and Pete's visions are hashed out. The latest ousting is Navy Secretary John Phelan, who was fired after Hegseth caught him sending Donald unsolicited deck pics. Good news for anyone downwind of Trump at the White House Correspondents' Association dinner: Donald won't be sticking around for the "dinner" part; he has something to get to after his speech.

Remember "Earth Day"? My AI chat tells me that's today! It's also National Jellybean Day, for those who observe. David Waldman spent Earth Day eve riding the transportation of the future… The Seattle Monorail! (Can it really compare to the Detroit Monorail though?) Virginia is for lovers of cracking and packing, redistricting and redrawing. All hail Governor Abigail Spanberger and State Senator L. Louise Lucas! MAGA screams, John Fetterman pouts, and Barack Obama chuckles. Republicans better hurry if they want to pass anything as a majority. Then again, Mike Johnson can just hang it up right now. It's official: "Tucker Carlson – Marjorie Taylor Greene '28"! Bumper sticker: "Tucker? I hardly even knew him!" There's a good chance that Cory Mills may have committed some light rape, but he did remember that the second to the last refuge of a scoundrel is Pam Bondi. Nancy Mace, however, has a zero-tolerance policy… which is probably a good thing.