Lazysloth's RPG Podcast

Send us Fan MailWe're doing something a little different this month. We're building player factions for the third and final act of the Desperate Colonial's story! The decisions our players make now will shape the future of the Ming system.

Send us Fan MailLock in, suit up, it's montage time. The Pyrite's crew is coming for your ship. Killer robots be damned!

Send us Fan MailHello, fellow humans! This month, we take a departure from our regularly scheduled VI assassination programming to bring you a oneshot of Legends in the Mist! Follow Gullencry and Kinsey, two totally normal and mundane humans on a seafaring jaunt of grand proportions, featuring Medieval Kenny Loggins and all-you-can-eat adventure!

Send us Fan MailIn this month’s session, the Desperate Colonials investigate the mysterious incident leading to the deaths of thousands aboard Ming’s Hope. However, something seeks to add them to the death toll the closer they get to the truth, threatened by the exchange in hands of the Hope’s stewardship.

Send us Fan MailFinally tracking down the last known whereabouts of Ming, our desperate colonials prepare to board the vessel of the lost Emperor’s final resting place - the mysterious casket of an entire colony, lying in wait to be found again.

Send us Fan MailThe crew of the Pyrite Eldorado  strategize on how they can save C-Dawg from permanent deletion, but something far more serious has escaped their notice, possibly dooming their entire journey.

Send us Fan MailIn this month’s episode of Desperate Colonials, Sanatio and the Mystery Gang delve deeper into the wilderness to uncover the enigmatic last days of the alien jungle colony. However, something slumbering deep below may have their answer for them before they can ask. For those who want to skip the long intro, the session begins at 12:44.

Send us Fan MailIn this month’s episode, the crew of the Pyrite El Dorodo tie up loose ends on Ming 3 and venture forth into exotic and hostile jungle climes of Ming 7. Continuing on their search for the lost Emperor, will they finally find the object of their quest, or will the danger lurking in the alien jungle find them first?

Send us Fan MailIn this month’s episode, our Desperadoes are determined to liberate Ming 3 of Kali’s wrath. Will they prove to be the bane of the immortal storm goddess herself, or will the sky come crashing down on them?

Send us Fan MailThe hideous faces behind the mask of paradise are revealed. Now our crew must make a choice - sacrificing the garden of innocents or bringing the world crashing down on their heads as the psionic of storm of Kali herself threatens Ming’s enclosure of Eden.

Send us Fan MailOur crew of Desperadoes lands on Ming 3 to find a desolate landscape of destruction and mystery. With their arrival stirs something sinister within the wreckages of the colony’s corpse as they search for the remains of Ming himself. However, despite their grim charge, they find themselves to be the life of the party. 

Send us Fan MailReady, set, GO! This month in the Shar system our friendly under dogs, Sonny and Adrien, race their way to victory. But before they can do that, they need to get their racing buggy ready!Will the ketchup race lines give the two the ability to pull off the win they always wanted?Get your popcorn and radios ready because we find out on today's episode!

Send us Fan MailIn this month’s episode, the Desperados are at the mercy of the Council of Captains, awaiting the fate of their captain and their ambitious venture against the nefarious whims of Diamondtooth - while also learning a secret from an unlikely source.Golden Squad: https://open.spotify.com/show/3nDBzDvg1VY7BJLBQzSfkN?si=xytuv4WnTUeWApGFUZE-QgThe Crit Cantina: https://open.spotify.com/show/31H7gXkn2v723BwOCJ5IVu?si=nlTsFnjjRRKRAFxYnQi45w

Send us Fan MailYa like jazz? Diamond Tooth seizes her opportunity to oust Wei from the leadership of his pirate fleet. If his crew sway the other captains of the league to their cause, then their adventure will end with a short walk down the plank.

Send us Fan MailIn this month’s episode from hell, an unlikely group of our Desperados is formed to siphon some gas and discover a mystery within a blue nebula.

Send us Fan MailThe Desperados finally scramble aboard their newly fixed free merchant ship to slip the surly bonds of Shar and touch the distorted blue of freedom. 

Send us Fan MailThe stage is set in the center of town for a showdown! In true western style, strap in because this episode is a long one - Patty and Sanatio were caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, now in line for their turn for an interrogation with a Magistrate of the Emperor. Can the rest of our Desperados help them escape before their destiny is foiled?

Send us Fan MailWe're taking a break from Desperate Colonials this month, but don't panic, baby dolls! We got you covered. Part 2 of the Ascension of Michael Smith is here with twice as many goofs and pop culture refences as last time! Desperate Colonials will resume next month!

Send us Fan MailThe heist is on! Jolene, Patty, Furin, and an oddjobber hired by Max take on the train while Sanatio schedules a rendevous at the SkyMall to negotiate with Cizek.

Send us Fan MailHere’s the scoop - the psychic twins, undaunted by dark visions of the future, wager their destiny on a boxing match. Maxwell and Patty reflect on the nature of fame while they chart a path for their partnership, and Jolene stumbles into Red Star’s secret plans while making plans of her own.

Send us Fan MailWith their journey set and a galaxy of opportunities before them, our adventurers' optimistic drive to save the world soon collides with the steely walls of pragmatism. Space travel, as it turns out, is really expensive.

Send us Fan MailTwo great perils lay in the way of our unlikely desperados: the desert of the mind, with its mirages and false shimmers; and the actual blistering desert, wild and unforgiving.

Send us Fan MailTo the West, at the end of the world, is a path where only dead men walk, greedily guarding their secrets from prying eyes. Will our players find salvation or damnation upon their arrival?

Send us Fan MailThis month we have a special Bony Minus run by our friend Kerby!The Great BIG Nomventure!A neurodivergent-accessible kids' RPG full of storytelling and adorable Nomnisaurs from the team that brought you Dungeons & Dinos.Kickstarter link: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/nomnivoregames/the-great-big-nomventure"Blippy Trance", "Overworld", "Porch Blues"Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ (edited)

Send us Fan MailWelcome to Shar, the jewel of its system - the arboreal home to our new cast of characters and the plights they endure. Angels fall while a new Emperor ascends, and the world order of the Great Tree is shaken.

Send us Fan MailIn this month's episode, we take a brief interlude from our regularly scheduled programming (due to scheduling conflicts) to begin the ascension of Michael Smith.

Send us Fan MailOur new campaign has begun at last! The month, Sloth gives an intro to the setting and house rules for our new campaign while walking our players through character creation. Session 1 of Desperate Colonials will publish in July.We would also like our audience to know that we got hacked last month - if you received any weird messages, links, or anything other than our monthly podcast episodes, please disregard them and delete them. That was not us! Our trained baby sloths are not capable of doing such things. Thank y'all for listening!

Send us Fan MailIn a first for the podcast, this month, Shira steps in as the GM, and Sloth steps out as a player in a session of Monster of the Week! In the city of Butte, Montana, four strange members of a local police outfit investigate an even stranger disappearance in the quiet mountain town. In every game Shira has ever run, Sloth's character has died. Can she maintain her perfect record? Or will Sloth finally survive one of her shots?

Send us Fan MailRiding off the wave of bittersweet storytelling, this month, the Lazysloth pardcast brings you delusion, chaos, happiness pills, and most of all, Paranoia! Accept Friend Computer into your heart  ̶o̶r̶ ̶e̶l̶s̶e̶   and embark on an important mission to raise morale with our Troubleshooters. This is all you may know - any further information would be considered treason.

Send us Fan MailThe Vanquishers unite Major City against Paradigm and work to solve a mystery that began when they entered the very first time entered the Vanguard tower. Can our heroes overcome a man who has never know defeat or will they end up just another pile of dust in this final session of The Vanguard?

Send us Fan MailIn this month's episode, the world's greatest threats begin to converge (and the inconveniences that are popping up are only making it worse)! Unfortunately, the strength they hoped to restore with the hot dogs they wished for was for naught, thanks to the guile of the Djinn (as expected). After braving some very spicy dogs, the Vanquishers must bust out of the Vault, finding themselves in even BIGGER trouble. Luckily, our heroes have a BIG solution - the threats may have tripled, but with a little bit of non-copyrighted morphing, the Vanquishers become bigger than ever before and combine their powers into a force to be reckoned with, against magic, machine, and monster alike.

Send us Fan MailIn this episode of the Vanguard, the Vanquishers continue to evade the Gatekeeper(s) in the Desert of Doors until they run into an unlikely...nozzle? They learn that their endeavor to save the world from Ohr and Tselel is not the first, and are able to secure a ride and an ally to find their door. However, what lies behind the threshold is no respite either, as they are faced with the dastardly dealmakers of the Vault

Send us Fan MailFaced with so many impending crises, the Vanquishers decided to focus on ending the heat death of the Universe. Our heroes head back down the Russhole into the puppet dimension to see what's beyond the obsidian door.  

Send us Fan MailIn this month's episode, the Vanquishers face the end-of-the-world. And then another one. And then one last other end-of-the-world. Luckily, they do not face it alone. With the help of some old faces and some new, will our heroes be able to prevail against this triple threat? Or will they fall at the feet of their adversaries?

Send us Fan MailThings are looking desperate as Golden Boy unleashes his pent up fury on a divided team of Vanquishers while Stampede gets  lost in a dimension of head trauma and googly eyes. 

Send us Fan MailThe Vanquishers return to major city after their jaunt back in time. Did they save Russ and their timeline from Oblivion? Only one way to find out. 

Send us Fan MailOur party is taking a break from major city this month to try out Darrington Press's game Candela Obscura! If you'd like to try it out for yourself you can find the quickstart guide and other info here. https://darringtonpress.com/candela/

Send us Fan MailThe Vanquishers face their first end-of-the-world level threat when Russ (AKA DangeRuss, AKA Santa Claus) travels back in time to stop himself from winning a 5K race in the 1972 Olympics. Can our heroes preserve their time line? Or will the threads of fate weave misfortune for Major City, and the rest of the world as they knew it?

Send us Fan Mail Emboldened by a distracted Major City, Paridigm takes steps to consolidate his power. The Vanquishers soon find he's not the only one taking advantage of the chaos. Insidious foes, both new and old, move in the shadows.  

Send us Fan MailWith the prisoners of Naraka Prison released, chaos rules Major City. The Vanquishers enter a desperate struggle to save their home. Meanwhile, a mysterious force has begun to manipulate events and evidence behind the scenes.

Send us Fan MailThe Vanquishers are back with double hero points and a fresh scheme to break into the most heavily guarded prison in Major City. Hidden eyes are watching their every move. Can they delve into the secrets of Naraka prison without becoming its newest residents? Let's find out!

Send us Fan MailYou waited all month to listen to your favorite Pardcast. Sadly this month they didn't post. The resulting boredom compels you to tear your home apart in a desperate attempt to find something to do. In this tantrum you find a VHS tape in a dusty cardboard box left unopened from the last move. Its case is covered in creases, kitten stickers, and the title "Kaiju Girls". Curious you hook up your old VCR to see what's on the tape. 

Send us Fan MailWith their legal battles and holiday shenanigans complete our heroes can return to their investigation of Naraka Prison. Eager to avoid further trouble with the law the vanquishers attempt more surreptitious methods of investigation.

Send us Fan MailMerry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the Vanquisher crew! We wish you all the season's tidings and greetings we can muster. As with some Christmas traditions, some of us, not naming names, get a little sweet, sentimental, and just a tad political. But don't let us stop you from enjoying your holiday and join us for some superhero cheer! In this month's episode of the Vanguard, the Vanquishers prepare to spend their first Christmas together. The Wallaby sets his sights on a hit Christmas single, Stampede and Hoshi show no mercy at a snowball fight, and Lazarus gets an unexpected visitor.

Send us Fan MailIn this month's episode, the Vanquishers engage in hardcore legal action with their families, freedoms, and beloved bartenders on the line! Listen as they investigate and interrogate their way towards the truth (despite lying under oath, whoops ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )!

Send us Fan MailAfter finally defeating the Vampirium  agents in Major city our heroes take some well deserved downtime before taking their next case.  

Send us Fan MailIn part 2 of the Bonyminis collection the Wallaby finally gets his comeuppance while Mr. Nobody works on his acting Career. 

Send us Fan MailIn order to get ahead on our recording schedule we've delayed session 31 until next month. Don't worry though, in it's place we have 4 different solo sessions for you to enjoy. In this session Lazarus struggles to get his errands done in a timely manner despite being the fastest sloth in the world. Meanwhile Stampede struggles to keep her family from falling apart when a new crisis emerges from the depths of the Ocean.

Send us Fan MailIn this month’s episode of the Vanguard, the Vanquishers across the Atlantic test the limits of the Vampirium’s hospitality while witnessing the tyranny within it. Meanwhile, Hoshi and Wallaby face a variegated vampiric foe on the homefront, or more aptly put, Hoshi’s front lawn.

Send us Fan MailIn this month's episode, the Vanquishers find themselves in the aftermath of the vampiric siege. The next dawn has risen, the electoral results are in, and the Vanquishers regroup and try to re-establish some normalcy. Sprinkles exhibits some magical behavior, Mr. Nobody has a shot at becoming somebody, Lazarus digs up some dirt, and Hoshi is completely unfazed due to her already violent impulses. However, their nightmare is far from over; a modest proposal dances at their doorstep, and leads them down below.