Leaning Toward Wisdom

  Watch. Listen. I think you’ll get it. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  There comes a point in life when too many people decide improvement is behind them. But growth, wisdom, curiosity, and meaningful change are still available — no matter your age. In this episode of Leaning Toward Wisdom, I explore why staying teachable, engaged, and willing to improve may be one of the greatest advantages of growing older. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  People. They’re the problem. 😉 Not all people, but most people. Then there’s ME. Maybe the biggest problem of all. Forever, my wife has urged me to lower my expectations, accusing me of expecting too much. Most often, the context is somebody’s behavior or performance. I’ll remark, “I think he could have done better.” To which she’ll reply, “I’m not sure he could have.” She’s likely right. I expect too much because I always believe people, including me, can do better. It sounds like I’m being critical (which is sometimes true), but in my head, it’s not so much that. It’s more my innate belief that improvement and growth are always possible. The deeper issue for me is the belief that everybody deserves the opportunity to get better. To be better! But I could be wrong. Maybe most people are as good as they’ll ever be. Relationships are hard. Worth it, but difficult. Okay, some are worth it. Others? Not so much. We get to decide. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me  

  I’d have written some show notes, but I didn’t want to. 😉 Enjoy! Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  Thank you. For watching. For listening. For being part of the small band of folks who give their time and attention. It’s not a small thing to me. I hope it serves you in some way, too! Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  Nuff said. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  Sacrifice. Self-control. Self-discipline. Temperance. Repentance. They’re all part of a life devoted to deprivation – a life devoted to not serving self, but a life devoted to improving self. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  An important link: https://www.youtube.com/c/LetthebiblespeakTv Spiritual, professional, and personal – those are the areas of life. And I need to put in the work to improve them all. Because I don’t want another year, I want a new, better year! Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me • My central digital hub: RandyCantrell.com

  As we close out the final day of 2025, it seems fitting to engage in two of my favorite activities: reflection and anticipation. Links: My other shows are GrowGreat.com (a city government leadership show) and HotSpringsVillageInsideOut.com (a show about retiring, living, and thriving inside Hot Springs Village, Arkansas). Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  Happy New Year! Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  Today’s topic has preoccupied (and occupied) my thoughts for decades. Boys. Girls. Men. Women. Our differences. Our wants, needs and desires. Those things we crave most. From one another, as husbands and wives. Our duties and opportunities to serve each other. To make a difference for this person we love most. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  Once we were young. Now, we’re old. Okay, older. Being older is good. Often, it’s great! She was always gorgeous. I was always smitten. Madly in love. The love affair began on Wednesday night, July 2, 1975. During a church camp meeting in Oklahoma. I asked her out on a date following church services that night. She said yes. That orange car in the picture was our chariot. We drove around a bit. Talked a lot. Probably went to a Dairy Queen for soft drinks. I can’t remember. Eventually, I kissed her. She kissed me back. And it was all so easy. The conversation. The being together. The kissing. But I’m ahead of myself. First, there was her reputation. And my respect for her. She was known for being determined to remain faithful to her convictions. We shared faith. The Faith. She was smart, dedicated, disciplined, and intentional. The oldest of six kids. It was evident. It was among the top reasons I asked her out. She was beautiful, but that was bonus content. 😉 I hadn’t been in love like this before. Ever. This was different, and I knew it from the very first date. Becoming a Christian was my best decision. Falling in love with her was my second best. She’s only ever taken a backseat to God. Eighteen-year-old me would have denied ever being able to fall harder for her. But he’d have been wrong. Did I always behave like it? Nope. To my shame. But that was primarily due to my immaturity and selfishness. Two problems I’ve experienced and that I often see in the lives of other men, too. I’m not saying it’s a uniquely male weakness, but I’m a guy and it was mine. She’s not perfect. But she’s pretty ideal for me. I’m not perfect. But I’m pretty ideal for her. It’s our story. My story. But let’s not make this entirely about me, or her, or us. Two ideas have been swirling in my head for as long as I can remember. One, my daily, if not hourly, fascination with her. True confession: I think of her every waking hour. And I always have. Sounds like an obsession, huh? Well, it likely is. But in a good way. It’s why many times a day I approach her, seemingly out of the blue (I’m sure that’s what she thinks), and hug her because I’ve been thinking of her a lot before I literally have to hug it out. I’m high-maintenance like that. Two, sadness that too many marriages fail because of selfishness and pride. Mostly, I think of my own selfishness and pride because I know those are ingredients for failure for each of us. Read your New Testament, and you’ll see it more clearly — especially in yourself. This is about us – all of us. Yes, it’s about those of us who are married. And it’s about those of us who aren’t. Because love, fascination, selfishness, and pride are both universal and individual. Masculinity seemed all but gone until we got a new President in America. The shift back toward things our country once cherished and away from the idiocy that overtook us starting in 2009 or so has given many of us hope that men can get back to being men and women can return to their glorified place of being women. Love, pride (not the selfish kind, but the honorable kind), commitment, honor, loyalty, and merit. Those were once givens in our society. They eroded in the past couple of decades because we allowed ourselves to be manipulated away from the things we knew to be true and correct. Now, we’re seeing how bitter, hateful, and outraged the opponents to truth and right can be. But love and right are worth standing up for, and idiocy deserves to be fought vigorously. Without shame or embarrassment. I make no apologies for being a Christian. I make no apologies for being married to the same woman for almost 47 years. I make no apologies for confessing that we were both virgins when we married. I make no apologies that – because of my faith – I choose not to drink alcohol, gamble, or be promiscuous. I don’t care that others have made fun of my stance against alcohol or drugs or illicit sex. The mocking doesn’t bother me. I don’t care that others think putting their wives on display is better than my dedication to putting my wife on a pedestal. I learned as a kid the value of zigging when others are zagging. If you’re devoted to truth and right, you’ll be swimming against the tide. Sadly. When men are fascinated with their wives and maintain or grow that fascination over time, it’s not normal. It should be. When wives respect and let their husbands lead, it’s not normal. It should be. When husbands love their wives, as Christ so loved the Church. Ephesians 5:24-26 “But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word…” Some truths are hard. Worth it and doable, but hard. Loving my wife isn’t hard. Never has been. I know, I know. Getting it right – marrying the right person – is monumental! I got it right. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  Let’s discuss some important words: Regrets Wondering Wholesome Sacrifice Restraint Self-Control Struggle Discipline They all can help us understand and practice wholesomeness. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  Show notes? Nah. You don’t need ’em. Not for this episode. Enjoy! Randy Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  Today’s episode is about something we’ve all experienced, often without realizing it at the time: not knowing you’re in trouble. Not because you didn’t see the warning signs—but because you couldn’t, or maybe you wouldn’t. Pride, foolishness, selfishness—they can all blind us. And sometimes, the most dangerous trouble is the kind we don’t know we’re in. Important link: Let The Bible Speak YouTube Channel Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  Your Story Is Their Inheritance Why documenting your life may be the most powerful gift you leave behind “When an old man dies, a library burns to the ground.” – African proverb We spend our lives accumulating experiences, lessons, values, and insights — but how much of it do we pass on? Not the stuff — the stories. The moments. The decisions. The wisdom. Your story is your legacy. And your family needs it more than you think. Why Your Story Matters We all come from a long line of stories, but too often they fade with time. Maybe your grandfather was a hard worker. Maybe your mother overcame something quietly heroic. Perhaps you have survived things your family doesn’t even know about. When you document your story — even in bits and pieces — you create a bridge. A bridge between your past and their future. Between who you are and who they’re becoming. And no, it doesn’t have to be perfect. Or polished. It just has to be yours. What Your Family Will Miss If You Don’t Without your voice, future generations may only have fragments: A photo with no context. A family name with no meaning. A vague sense that “Granddad was a good guy.” But what if they could hear your words? Understand your decisions? Learn how you navigated heartbreak, failure, laughter, and faith? What if they could know the real you? That’s the kind of inheritance that lasts longer than money ever will. How to Start Documenting Your Story (Without Getting Overwhelmed) You don’t have to write a memoir or produce a documentary. Start simple: Record 10-minute voice memos, sharing key moments Write short stories from your life in a journal Use prompts like: “What’s the hardest decision I ever made?” or “What do I want my grandchildren to know about love, work, or faith?” Create a timeline of your life’s major turning points The key is to start. Perfection is not required. But your presence is. This Isn’t Just About You — It’s About Them Somebody in your family will face something you’ve already faced. They’ll need wisdom. They’ll crave connection. And when they find your words — your story — it will be like finding a flashlight in the dark. And maybe, just maybe, your voice will speak into a moment you’ll never live to see… but your wisdom will. That’s legacy. And that’s leaning toward wisdom. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  Are you overwhelmed, overloaded, and constantly feeling behind? You’re not alone. Let’s explore the anxiety that comes from having too many responsibilities, too many projects, and too little clarity. Okay, more precisely, I’ll share with you my recurring sense of overwhelm in hopes it can help you with yours. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  I know, I’ve been a dog on a bone with this. Some might say, “You’re beating a dead horse!” Maybe. And maybe that’s the method to my madness in the past few episodes. Do you know about the dead horse theory? It’s had a long-standing place in management lore. It goes like this, according to the Internet. The “Dead Horse Theory” is a satirical metaphor that illustrates how some individuals, institutions, or nations handle obvious, unsolvable problems. Instead of accepting reality, they cling to justifying their actions. The core idea is simple: if you realize you’re riding a dead horse, the most sensible thing to do is dismount and move on. However, in practice, the opposite often happens. Instead of abandoning the dead horse, people take actions such as: • Buying a new saddle for the horse. • Improving the horse’s diet, despite it being dead. • Changing the rider instead of addressing the real problem. • Firing the horse caretaker and hiring someone new, hoping for a different outcome. • Holding meetings to discuss ways to increase the dead horse’s speed. • Creating committees or task forces to analyze the dead horse problem from every angle. These groups work for months, compile reports, and ultimately conclude the obvious: the horse is dead. • Justifying efforts by comparing the horse to other similarly dead horses, concluding that the issue was a lack of training. • Proposing training programs for the horse, which means increasing the budget. • Redefining the concept of “dead” to convince themselves the horse still has potential. The Lesson: This theory highlights how many people and organizations prefer to deny reality, wasting time, resources, and effort on ineffective solutions instead of acknowledging the problem from the start and making smarter, more effective decisions. Today, let’s aim it at ourselves. Personally. Professionally. I encourage you to take it personally. Make it personal. Apply it. Learn from it. And lean toward wisdom. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  No notes today. No excuse. I’m just lazy today. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  When we learn that our behavior and choices belong entirely to us and are independent of what others do, it’s the road less traveled to becoming a better person. Rare are the people who have made up their minds to behave like that, likely because it demands a willingness to suffer wrong and move on to do what’s right. No matter what. Self-discipline is at the heart of enduring suffering, sacrificing, exercising grace and gratitude. All hard things! Easier things are becoming bitter, harboring resentment, and embracing a victim mentality. Hatred. Retribution. Payback. Those are all easy and require no self-control. However, as is often the case, ease can be damaging over the long term. It makes us worse. It wrecks us. Refusing to put in the hard work of temperance ultimately comes at a high price over time. Discipline sometimes has no involvement with others. For instance, about 3 weeks ago, I began mainly eating carnivore. I did it solely for myself, to feel better. I also hope to drop some unwanted weight, but that was secondary. Nobody else influenced my decision. I’m not doing it for anybody else. Self-discipline helps me improve my health and overall well-being. Another area of self-discipline is spending. Since January, I’ve had some planned purchases to elevate my game as a content creator. Late last year, I made some purchases for items I’ve come to need. Much of it involves unsexing things, such as a network-attached storage (NAS) system that allows me to store large video files easily. I invested in a 4-bay device (that means I can load up four large hard drives that will work in unison). It wasn’t cheap. I also invested in some software and other tools necessary for my current role as a content creator, producing three different shows, including this one. I started this journey around 1999, so it’s not how I started. I wouldn’t recommend spending a lot of money to start producing online content. That phone you carry around every day will do the job. I recently encouraged a friend to use his phone and a $150 wireless microphone setup, along with a cheap selfie stick tripod device. It’s a great way to start and can likely serve you well for years to come. Twenty-five years ago, that was NOT the case, so through the years, I’ve invested a significant amount of money in this craft. Until last year, that was all audio, too. New flash: audio is way cheaper than video! 😀 Spending on anything can get out of control. It requires discipline to avoid spending, especially overspending. I’ve hit my limit – planned or otherwise. Okay, I’ve almost hit it. I’ve two items on my list that I still need to purchase, both of which are equipment-related. The most expensive of them is a computer hub so I can more efficiently connect everything to my computer instead of having three different smaller hubs. It’s a device that wasn’t previously available due to technological limitations. After that, I’m intentionally hitting the PAUSE button on spending because I’m going into full-blown saving mode. I’m approaching this with intention, a plan, and self-discipline, just as I do with my diet. Teddy Swims was on Q with Tom Powers, a CBC production. Here’s the YouTube link. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  A few weeks ago, Megan Moroney was on The Bobby Bones Show. She’s an emerging country music star touring with Kenny Chesney. I only know that because I’ve seen snippets of their shows on social media. Not knowing who she is or anything about her, I trolled through a short clip of Bobby Bones’s interview with her. During the interview, Bobby asked her a question that prompted an answer we can all relate to, but here’s a young lady who seems to be breaking through country music in a BIG way. But that’s hardly the whole story. For Megan, it was country music. For me, it’s currently two things: learning to play the guitar and starting a carnivore diet. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  Thanks for watching. If you choose to listen, thanks for that, too. Other than that, I’ve got nothing. The show speaks for itself. But here are the links I mentioned (and promised to share): LetTheBibleSpeak.tv https://hotspringsvillageinsideout.com/a-champion-bull-rider-who-loves-to-cut-hair/ Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  I apologize for being absent lately. Let me explain. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  He asks me, “How do you measure success?” I have questions before I answer. “Success in what?” “Sales success is easy to measure. Serenity, not so much.” Turns out he was focused on how I viewed MY success in general. Part of the challenge of measuring or defining success is the common disease of comparisonitis. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  It doesn’t mean you’re to blame. It means you accept responsibility for yourself—for your choices, decisions, behavior, reactions, feelings—and all the rest. I’ve yet to discover a downside. Mentioned in today’s show: VIA Survey Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things by Robert Fulghum was published in 1986. It was quite the rage because it was filled with commonsense life maxims. I read it and appreciated the author’s point that even children can (and should) learn how to behave toward others. We are almost 40 years later, and it seems like a prehistoric work of fiction. When I purchased this book, I had yet to turn 30. I had two small children and a wife I’d been married to for about nine years. Back then, the content was much less remarkable than it is today. I appreciated Mr. Fulghum’s sentiment that kindness and courtesy are behaviors he learned as a small child, but that was then and now. When Fulghum grew up, parents trained children by providing guard rails, forbidding certain misbehavior, and encouraging proper behaviors. That’s much less visible today. When I first read the book, I quickly realized that kindergarten didn’t teach me these things, but my parents and older folks did. Increasingly, I realized they weren’t teaching me some arbitrary rules they had constructed. Their training manual wasn’t a book by some doctor or psychologist. They were using the Bible, the Word of God. The book focuses on fundamentals, such as the ” golden rule,” which originated in God’s mind. John 13:34-35 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another”. Matthew 7:12 “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” I learned that at home while reading the Bible. I also learned it by attending worship services every Sunday, a day that was (and still is) referred to as “the Lord’s Day.” Of course, every day belongs to the Lord, but the day of worship is unique and set apart for public worship. Hebrews 10:25 “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day (of worship, Sunday) approaching.” As an old man, I reflect on my training, and I’ve remained true to it because it was always based on the ultimate authority, God, and the Savior of all mankind, Jesus Christ. It wasn’t just a group of old people who littered my life, nor was it just my mom or dad imposing their will. It was a pattern for living, trained into me by these people who loved me and wanted only my best. Over the years, I’ve leaned hard on the precepts and principles of my training and continued it. It didn’t stop when I turned 18 or 21. The truth is, I made more dedicated, conscious efforts after I became an adult. I spent more hours studying and conversing with older mentors who continued my training. The foundation had been set, but the building didn’t begin until I was an adult, out on my own. That’s the litmus test for convictions – when you’re on your own, no longer under the thumb of anybody else, and free to choose for yourself. When that time comes, what will you do? How will you behave? Honesty, truth, kindness, courtesy (and much more) were instilled when I was a child, but as an adult, many no longer make those choices. We justify our poor behavior, choosing to be victims of others or circumstances we don’t think we deserve. I first saw deception at work on a stereo store showroom floor during my teen years. If a shopper was lied to about a piece of gear they considered, they might buy it. If you told the truth, they might not. My training and my conscience wouldn’t let that happen. It became easier when I realized that telling the truth worked better than telling the lies I knew others were telling. It turns out that the truth always works best. Personality and communication play a role, but the truth and doing what’s right aren’t subjective to either one. I’ve learned that some people struggle to communicate clearly, while others overcommunicate. Some need more public adoration and attention, while others don’t want it at all. Everybody has the God-given obligation to behave in ways that please God, and these are the ways taught to all of us in scripture. I was 27 when I first formed my business philosophy. I’ve always been prone to candor. Telling it as accurately and honestly as I can. It’s helped me avoid confusion that otherwise may have occurred. For instance, in every business dealing, I abhor ambiguity. I abhor it in my personal life because I’ve seen much misunderstanding result from people who lack the courage (or whatever it may require) to say what they want, what they require, and what they’ll accept. Even with explicit candor, people can still remember things the way they think they should have been. Years ago, while talking with an old businessman who was retelling a story whose facts I knew, I challenged his recollection. It didn’t happen as he said it did. When I confronted him, he said, “Well, I remember it the way it should have been.” His recollection made him the hero that he never was. Our minds can fool us into such conclusions. But we’re still wrong. Honesty is hard if it’s not your habit. It’s harder still if you’ve not been trained to exercise it. Without fear or compromise. Competence demands work and commitment. I believe it’s also a Bible-based principle. Colossians 3:23-24 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. The Bible contains many stories and illustrations of people dedicated to their work or servitude. I sought to be the best employee, boss, and cohort possible—not because everybody always deserved it but because I was attempting to serve God through Christ. I’ve devoted countless days to achieving greater competence. History will judge whether I succeeded. Giving more, like all the rest of this, is not negotiable. This has been a thorn in the side of others in many business situations because I’ve always begun every business relationship by focusing on how I might benefit the other person. It’s my worldview. They need to benefit before I can think about what I want. It’s God-centered, but it also feels especially good to me. Simultaneously, within this business philosophy, I also formed my own definition of leadership. While studying the Bible more, I also studied leadership and business more. I defined leadership as: a) influencing others to improve, b) doing for others what they can’t do for themselves and c) a focus on others (which turns out is the definition of compassion). I don’t find it difficult to give more, but I’ve had cohorts over the years who did. My behavior wasn’t driven by being altruistic. It was driven by faith, conviction, and doing what’s right. I quickly realized it was a competitive edge, but that wasn’t the point. Have I left profits, revenues, or anything else on the table? In other words, have I failed to maximize all I might have been able to get? Sure. And I’m good with it. It feels good to be because it’s right. Make it right. Fix it. Apologize where necessary. But don’t just say you’re sorry, actually change. The Bible calls it repentance. It’s making up your mind to change. Stop doing whatever you’re doing that’s harmful (to yourself and others), and start doing better. Lip service is easy. That’s why the bad husband can apologize to his wife, but nothing changes. He continues to mistreat her, selfishly patching things up because he’s the most important person in the world. Repentance is hard but worthwhile. It demands self-sacrifice, which is the hardest part. I’ve learned not to enable poor behavior. My own or others. As a young leader, I was offered a position at a specified pay rate. After a small bit of negotiation, I agreed. I was an employee. Over time, I discovered I had made an unfavorable deal compared to my co-workers. I was underpaid. At first, I was angry, but a mentor taught me not to be angry because I had agreed. He reminded me of the Lord’s parable of Matthew 20. 1 For the kingdom of heaven is like unto a man that is an householder, which went out early in the morning to hire labourers into his vineyard. 2 And when he had agreed with the labourers for a penny a day, he sent them into his vineyard. 3 And he went out about the third hour, and saw others standing idle in the marketplace, 4 And said unto them; Go ye also into the vineyard, and whatsoever is right I will give you. And they went their way. 5 Again he went out about the sixth and ninth hour, and did likewise. 6 And about the eleventh hour he went out, and found others standing idle, and saith unto them, Why stand ye here all the day idle? 7 They say unto him, Because no man hath hired us. He saith unto them, Go ye also into the vineyard; and whatsoever is right, that shall ye receive. 8 So when even was come, the lord of the vineyard saith unto his steward, Call the labourers, and give them their hire, beginning from the last unto the first. 9 And when they came that were hired about the eleventh hour, they received every man a penny. 10 But when the first came, they supposed that they should have received more; and they likewise received every man a penny. 11 And when they had received it, they murmured against the goodman of the house, 12 Saying, These last have wrought but one hour, and thou hast made them equal unto us, which have borne the burden and heat of the day. 13 But he answered one of them, and said, Friend, I do thee no wrong: didst not thou agree with me for a penny? 14 Take that thine is, and go thy way: I will give unto this last, even as unto thee. 15 Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? Is thine eye evil, because I am good? I immediately felt guilty because I realized I was the whiny worker the Lord spoke of. I dove into my work, continuing to do the best work of my life. Some months later, at a time I felt was appropriate, I had a meeting with my boss. I didn’t mention any co-workers but asked for a raise. I explained my reasons, and I was respectful. I reminded him of my competence and dedication and told him he knew I would continue to work as hard for his business, and I was now working for my own pay. He smiled and raised me, making me the highest-paid person among my peers (something I wasn’t chasing). But what if it hadn’t gone as I had hoped? Would I have changed my work ethic? Would I have been angry with him for my having made a deal? We’ll never know, but I know this – I could have made whatever decision I wanted. I was just a kid but closer to adulthood than childhood. It was my call. My responsibility. Nobody else. Which brings me to one last thing I want to mention that I learned from God’s Word as it relates to this episode – I have no right to be a victim. God didn’t create any of us to live as victims. Yes, bad things can and do happen to us because of our sin and the sin of others. But our reaction to that sin is entirely on us. “Turn the other cheek” is the response to somebody hitting us in the face. That’s a decision we can and should make, if we aim to please God. Was the slap deserved? Doesn’t matter. We don’t strike back. 1 Corinthians 6 7 Why do you not rather accept wrong? Why do you not rather let yourselves be cheated? 8 No, you yourselves do wrong and cheat, and you do these things to your brethren! But if I suffer wrong, I want to feel victimized. I want to blame somebody. Or something. I want the world to know I’ve been slighted. Sure. Do it. It’s a choice. Not a scriptural choice, but it’s a choice. I could have lamented the deal I took when a boss offered me less than I realized I could have had. Instead, thanks to an old head, I was trained to be thankful, dig deep, keep doing good work, and figure out what I (not my boss) might do next. That helped me avoid bitterness, resentment, and all that God abhors. It was difficult but doable. Right is right. Always. Wrong is wrong. Always. It’s not situational. It doesn’t depend on the circumstances or how it impacts us. Life has taught me that God, the Supreme Creator, knows better how our lives should be lived. He knows what’s best for us. He knows that being self-absorbed is contrary to our best interests. He knows that being undisciplined hurts us. Thanks to our Savior, God understands how hard all this is, so He has done everything possible to help us. There’s only one thing God won’t do for us—something we must do for ourselves—decide. Visit InThyPaths.com. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  I posted this on social media a few days ago. It’s easy to desire improvement, but it’s hard to change our habits to bring about improvement. Each year begins with the hope that 2025 will be better than 2024. Maybe it will. Maybe not. Our habits are going to determine it. These 2 sentences are true. Life bears witness to their validity. Links mentioned in today’s show: • In Thy Paths, a YouTube playlist of sermons • A TV segment about why most New Year resolutions fail Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  Happy New Year, 2025! In the fall of 1997, I uploaded my first audio under the tagline “Leaning Toward Wisdom.” It was my documentary, the journey of a 40-year-old dad desiring to pass along whatever lessons I might. Twenty-seven years later, I’m still unsure how successful the quest has been to lean more toward wisdom and away from foolishness. But life ain’t over yet, so let the leaning (and learning) continue. Thank you for joining the journey. I hope it benefits you. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  It started with a voicemail from a client. His message said, “I’ve got a situation – a problem. I could use your advice. Call me back.” The problem? A relationship. A couple of relationships. At some point during my questioning him, for my understanding, he stopped and said, “What I thought was the problem may not be the problem. Guess I’d better make sure I’m solving the right problem, huh?” That’s solid insight – especially when it’s a relationship problem. During the holiday season, relationships are often strained. It might be a good time to examine how we solve our relationship problems. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  “My ambition didn’t allow me to fail,” said Jack Barsky, an ex-KGB spy who was a sleeper agent in the United States. Barsky was quite successful in avoiding detection. Until he was, then no amount of ambition would prevent authorities from moving in. He stayed around his smart spots for years, navigating North American culture to spy for the Soviet Union and his faith in communism. Barsky might argue that over time, he learned how corrupt and wretched communism was – and how he had been brainwashed to think the pursuit of Utopian socialism was the ideal course of action. Armed with high intelligence, Barsky figured out the need for his smart spots to change, so he changed his mind to become politically a modern-day conservative. We usually think of being smart around spots regarding achievement in business or some other pursuit. Barsky reminds us that being smart around spots can – and probably should be mostly focused – on our learning ability. To see things more clearly. To remedy our delusions. Too few of us are geniuses; even genius has a severe downside. Sometimes, we can be too smart to be wise. We may even become stupid in our genius. I’m thinking of serial killers like Ted Bundy, reputed to be high-IQ individuals who arrogantly thought they were smarter than law enforcement. But they were caught by mostly average intelligent people who stayed focused around their spots of expertise and training. With enough time and sufficient clues to follow, law enforcement often (thankfully) figures it out. As we’ve all heard about criminal behavior, criminals must remain lucky daily, while law enforcement often just needs one moment of luck to capture them. Thankfully, most of us aren’t Soviet (or even American) spies. Or criminals. We’re just ordinary Joes and Janes going about our everyday lives. I’ve realized that it may be an act of genius to a) recognize our smart spots, b) stay around those smart spots, and c) understand if/when those smart spots disappear or change. All of it is hard. Thomas Watson’s quote makes it sound far easier than it is. And given IBM’s success, I have little doubt he mostly accomplished it. Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon, is said to have this quote posted on his refrigerator… “To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” Perhaps Mr. Watson’s quote and that quote attributed to philosopher and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson are consistent. But Emerson’s quote sounds more difficult, doesn’t it? Seems downright daunting! Truth is, life is daunting. Success is hard. Failure is harder! Choose your hard. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

https://randycantrell.com/inside-the-yellow-studio/ The link above is a comprehensive list of the gear inside The Yellow Studio. Assume every link is an affiliate link. Ironically, I chose to make this an audio, not a video. Yes, that was intentional. I hope you’ll click PLAY. It started in 1997. This podcast. It was a handheld Olympus digital recorder. No SD card. Just built-in memory. It was less than $100 and I’d been using it for a while to dictate work notes and ideas. Audio was easy. And cheap. Well, recording it was easy. Getting it online was a bit more cumbersome. Getting it off the Internet to listen was infinitely more difficult because we knew nothing of MP3, today’s defacto standard audio file format. My digital recorder used some funky format, but it was still possible to hear it from a website with a domain name a foot long, comprised of a bunch of letters and numbers (a free web page that came with my Internet service provider – ISP – Flashnet). Somebody other than my family found it because my first email came from somebody in Sweden. It blew my mind. It was all done with a digital recorder, a dail-up modem, and an Internet connection. Add in a bit of rudimentary HTML skills, so I could build an ugly website, and you had the first iteration of Leaning Toward Wisdom. I dubbed it that because it was what I was trying to do – lean more toward wisdom and away from foolishness. I was 40 years old and that was 27 years ago. Within a few years, I got serious. I registered LeaningTowardWisdom.com and invested a few thousand dollars (okay, probably closer to three thousand) for a rack of equipment and a couple of Heil PR40 mics (an amateur radio operator friend recommended them). That was The Yellow Studio for many years, recording into a Mac computer using software I can’t remember until I found Twisted Wave, a Mac audio recording/editing software recommended by a voiceover actor friend. I bumbled along for a few more years. My audio quality was a point of pride and I was regularly complimented for it thanks mostly to good room acoustics thanks to a ton of books AND to Aphex 230 voice processors (one for each mic, I had two). My broadcast workflow meant that whether I was on Skype (later Zoom) or recording, my audio quality was always the same. I went for years without investing anything more. That rack of gear and those two Heil microphones were stapmles inside The Yellow Studio for years. Audio was easy. And after that initial investment, cheap. The ongoing costs were maintaining domain names and website hosting (I hosted my own audio files for years before learning I should get a media host). Eventually, I found MapleGrove Partners thanks to a buddy, Jim Collison. They would host my site and my media files because they’re podcast-friendly like that. But beyond that, I had no real costs. People entered podcasting trying to figure out how to do it as cheaply as possible and I never understood it. I don’t hunt. Or fish. Or bowl. Or golf. I don’t collect anything (well, I once collected books…but only to read). I had no hobbies except this. That’s still the case. Buddies who were into all of those things (and more) would regularly spend hundreds or thousands of dollars every year. Most of them weren’t wealthy. They were just ordinary guys who enjoyed whatever they were in to. They didn’t think twice about investing in hobbies they loved. I loved podcasting and I had saved for a good while before buying my initial setup. Admittedly, I made a sizeable investment, but it was calculated, planned and well thought out. It stood the test of time, too. I produced untold podcast episodes with that rig. Then Rode, an Australian company, bought Aphex, the makers of my favorite vocal strips, responsible for how my podcast sounded. It didn’t affect me…until it did. Around 2019, Rode introduced a mixer with Aphex technology built in. Wait a minute, what? My thousands of dollars in a rack that sat just to my right could all be replaced by a single little mixer that would sit on my desk. All that cable could be replaced by just a few cables. I could connect my iPhone to it and take/record phone calls. And all for less than $1000. Sign me up. My audience here at Leaning Toward Wisdom helped me buy it. It was my first time ever asking for anything, but boy did the crowd respond. I was grateful. I knew I’d sell my rack of gear and more than offset buying that first Rodecaster Pro, but I needed the Rode mixer before I unplugged and sold everything or The Yellow Studio would be down. I didn’t want to miss a beat and the audience stepped up in a big way. In June 2021 I launched a new podcast – I had long had two, Leaning Toward Wisdom and Grow Great (my work podcast). This one was about a newly found favorite place, Hot Springs Village, Arkansas. I first discovered the Village in the Fall of 2018. We kept visiting and loving it more and more each time. It’s such a unique place I had so many questions that I couldn’t find answers to, I decided to find the answers and do it via a podcast, Hot Springs Village Inside Out. I dubbed it that because of 26,000 acres of awesomeness inside the Village and many miles of coolness outside, too. I recruited a guy who appeared to be right for a co-host, a Native Arkansas guy who lived in the Village and seemed to know quite a bit. He’d be my resident expert and I’d be myself, the naive curious guy who loved the place. So it began. And it grew. And grew some more. In time, it was the first podcast I’d ever done that I even thought about monetizing. We said YES to two sponsors (advertisers). They help us pay the bills and provide my co-host and me with what amounts to really crappy paying part-time jobs, but we could not be happier! They’re great. About 18 months ago I started getting itchy to elevate our show about the Village. It’s such a spectacular place audio just doesn’t do it justice. Our audience is largely folks who have never visited the place, but are interested in coming to visit. Some want to check it out to see if they might want to make it home. Besides, I wanted to capture the beauty and vibe of the place. That was going to require video. I’m an old audiophile who spent almost all my adult life in and around great-sounding stereo systems. So it’s no surprise that audio was my cup of tea. At the same time, I have to confess that when I was in junior high I got a super 8mm camera. Fifty feet of film, that had to be professionally developed, produced about 3 minutes of video. I had a projector, too. I shot as much video as I could afford, which wasn’t very much. My video bug goes way back, but audio was just more practical, more portable and cheaper. Hot Springs Village deserved and demanded video. I began a major research project. I asked millions of questions of dozens of photographers and videographers. I took copious notes. I kept asking questions. This was not going to be cheap! Some guys suggested gear that I knew I’d never able to operate. Others try to shoehorn me into how they’d do things, but none of them were producing the kind of show we were – and the one I most wanted to produce. I was growing increasingly frustrated with all the contradictory advice and I knew I’d also have to wrangle my extroverted, unfocused co-host so I kept pushing the research forward. All the way stowing away some money. I decided to ask my audience if they wanted to help. Why not? I told them why. They responded. I was aiming at $1000, full well knowing I’d invest more than that. When I got kinda close to that number I stopped asking and pulled back. I was going to make this investment, Lord willing, but I had to make sure I was buying gear we’d use. And gear we’d use a lot. During all this I was struggling to get re-engaged with my HSV Inside Out podcast. A variety of obstacles disrupted my flow with the show. Selling a house we’d lived in for over 20 years. Moving into an apartment not far from where we’d lived. Buying a house in Hot Springs Village. Moving whatever wasn’t in our apartment into the new house in Arkansas. Juggling client work, a nice problem to have. Along the way the vibe of the show about Hot Springs Village wasn’t going at all as I had planned so I was wrestling with more moving parts than I was used to. I’m focused. Purposeful. Intentional. Mostly, I’m strategic. Those weren’t things I was able to deploy with this podcast I loved so much. Instead I was taking a backseat and surrendering my original goal and vision — and I was growing more and more intent on getting things back on track. Video was going to help me do that. It was going to be a financial investment, a time investment and a major learning investment to develop skills I didn’t yet have. Video killed the radio star, but it wasn’t a permanent death because streaming killed them both. Streaming – online content available on our phones, tablets and computers – kills it all. And yes, video is a major player. Active YouTube users are expected to grow by 346 million (+44.05%) between 2022 and 2028. Last year YouTube had almost 2.5 billion users monthly. They generated over $31B in revenue in 2023. On average, people spend 48.7 minutes on YouTube each day. The average user spends over 28 hours on the YouTube app. Over 500 hours of video are uploaded to YouTube every minute. (Source: https://www.omnicoreagency.com/youtube-statistics/) Even SubStack has embraced live video. Video is supreme. The evidence is overwhelming. But that wasn’t my motivation. Hot Springs Village is a visual place. Words can’t describe it as well as pictures and video. It was an easy, albeit expensive, decision. Expensive in money, time, learning curve and our ability as co-hosts to learn the craft of video storytelling (something I think we still do poorly, but I’m confident we’ll get better). For years I’ve watched one person who stands out for me because a) he’s not an attention hound, b) he’s always telling stories of people, cultures and places (which is congruent with what we hope to do at HSVInsideOut.com) and c) he’s a one-man band (except his wife does all his video editing). He’s always alone while shooting his stories and he often goes where people would shy away from some big video production. That’s why he uses an old GoPro action camera and two small wireless mics. He’s got a selfie stick and that’s it. No lights. No tripods. No cameraman. And the videos are outstanding. Mostly because he focuses on the subject and fades into the background. He’s focused on telling the best story possible and doing justice to the people, their culture and the place. He’s only in frame as needed. Instead, he keeps his subjects on screen. He takes the audience everywhere he can. The only times we aren’t tagging along is when people forbid him from shooting, which rarely happens because he’s so respectful. His wife’s video editing is extraordinary because his videos are all long-form, often running over an hour. I’ve spent hundreds of hours watching him closely to learn. He’s got years of experience over us so I’m not expecting to match his skill, but I do aspire to emulate him in ways that fit our situation. His name is Peter Santenello. You should subscribe to his channel. Here’s a short of Peter explaining why he uses a smaller, old GoPro action camera. Then there’s some video about his early journey becoming a successful YouTuber. You’ll see why I consider him a mentor, somebody I want to emulate – and take whatever value I can to apply to what I want to do. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/iegyC2Y4qvI?feature=share   https://www.youtube.com/shorts/4CF9d-zDuSY?feature=share   https://youtu.be/GlZHQ_4T074?si=TRandxTPjBZKDSbD   The more I studied the more I knew an action camera was the right choice for our show – and The Yellow Studio. I’m not a photographer or videographer. I knew we’d be out and about, in nature and settings like boat docks, rear decks, golf courses, lakes, parks, trails, and other nature settings – action cameras are ideally suited for all that. Additionally, if we did have a guest I knew some big video production would be a constraint. Intimidating. That began the research of action cameras. There are a BUNCH of them. About the time I’d think, “This is the one,” a new model would be released. I quickly learned new models were coming out all the time. So I focused on the features we’d most need, including how easy they were to use and how reliable they were over time. By the time I had enough powder saved up to buy something two models stood out: DJI Osmo Pocket 3 (a slick gimbal-controlled camera with insanely great video quality) and the Insta360 Ace Pro (a more typical GoPro-type design with a swivel screen). I wanted two because I have a co-host and I knew if we had one set up and wanted to record different things we’d always be chasing the gear. Additionally, I knew there’d be situations where a two-camera angle would be helpful, especially whenever we did sit-down interviews with guests, or whenever the two of us did shows without a guest (something we were intent on doing more of). I purchased both along with a Rode Mic Pro wireless mic set consisting of two mics and one transmitter, to connect to your smartphone or camera. The DJI Osmo Pocket 3 has a single wireless mic that can automatically connect to that camera. I gave my co-host the Insta360 Ace Pro and Rode mics to use. I put it all in a hardshell backpack along with a ton of accessories making it easy to schelp around and use. I started “filming” with the DJI Osmo Pocket 3 doing trail walks, drives and other videos that I hadn’t been able to do with just audio. It was a major step up, but we weren’t very good at the craft yet. I knew it would take time and hours of work. Mostly, I knew it would require a commitment on our part. Few things are more powerful than a mind made up. That was, and still is, THE work. Making up our minds that we want to excel at telling better stories that our audience will find valuable. We’re late to the game. In terms of how many audio shows we’ve produced, with Zoom as our only source of video…and in terms of how old we are. My co-host and I are both in our 60’s, but we’re both technically very savvy. Both of us are eager to learn. So I’m confident we’ll figure it out, but right now things are a bit painful because I see the future. I can easily envision where I want our show to be. I have to determine to drag us to where I want us to be! These are exciting times. We were taking baby steps that felt like giant leaps. Audio was easy, even routine. Video is more difficult and we had yet to establish a routine because we didn’t know enough. I had used iMovie for years and knew I needed to step up my video editing game. That began another research project of people touting Final Cut Pro (an Apple product) or DaVinci Resolve (a Windows or Mac product with a free or paid version). Some videographers enjoy both. Many are preferential to one or the other. Almost all are heavily involved in doing fancy things we’ll never do (at least I don’t see us doing it). Things like color grading and shooting at the highest resolution possible. I wanted to shoot in 4K and have things work as seamlessly as possible. I wasn’t interested in behaving like I was some professional photographer/videographer. Never mind that I watched hundreds of hours of big-time YouTube photographer channels (I must subscribe to at least 100 or more of them). I’ve been in the Apple Mac ecosystem since 1984 so it wasn’t a tough decision for me. I chose Final Cut Pro, figuring if I was going to learn one…that’d be the best one for me. Besides, a test flight of DaVinci Resolve proved their dashboard was overwhelming. Maybe it’ll do fancy things Final Cut Pro won’t, but none of that matters to me. Next, I needed a training course to learn Final Cut Pro. That was an easier solution as most people referred me to Ripple Training. No, I’ve not yet jumped into the pool on that, but it’s coming up quickly. I need to learn it and I’ve watched enough to know I made a good choice. About this time Sony released an updated version of a popular vlogging camera used frequently in the studio of thousands of YouTubers, Sony ZVE10II. More YouTubers suggested the first version than any other camera. Photographers recommended cameras costing three times as much. They would! 😀 When the Mark 2 of the Sony ZVE10 was released people lost their minds at the updates. It went up in price significantly, but people thought it was worth the price. More and more people were telling me I’d done good with my action camera choices, but “you’re going to want a studio set up” (a camera set up inside The Yellow Studio that says in place, always ready to go). Keep in mind, I do other shows and they felt we’d could use this for our Hot Springs Village show and I could use it for my other shows, too. But that was going to be another $1000 – more if I got a secondary lens for closeup talking head videos (with a blurry background). With accessories, and this other lens, I was looking at investing another $2000 or so. That was without investing in a good quality video light for The Yellow Studio. Truth: I had been ruminating on this in studio set up long before thinking of action cameras. I had researched single light stand set ups where everything could be mounted on a single rolling stand, kept in place and easily rolled around to change camera angles. That was a rabbit trail I hopped down for the better part of my 18-month research journey. I had found the ideal solution, finally. StrobePro made exactly what I thought I’d get IF I ever got an in-studio camera setup. I saved more money. All the while reminding myself that I hadn’t invested in anything really since the newest Rodecaster Pro II (replacing the original). Okay, I had indulged in a new mic every now and again, but my mic collection wasn’t too crazy (I basically have four, plus two that I use for field recording if I want XLR mics). But this felt out of control. I was investing more money than I had ever invested, including the $3000 or so to build the original Yellow Studio. About a month ago I pulled the trigger on the Sony ZVE10 II and the assorted things I needed to construct an in-studio setup, which included the StrobePro stand. Now, I’m so far beyond what I thought I’d do, and far beyond where I thought I’d be when it comes to being equipped to do good video storytelling. Thousands of dollars. Thousands of hours. And not because it’s all necessary… The necessary part is investment, and not just money. It’s skin in the game. It’s commitment. It’s seriousness. And it’s time invested in the pursuit of something important. An iPhone is plenty good enough to have a YouTube channel. So if you’re listening to me, don’t mistakenly think you need to invest a ton of money to begin anything. Just do it with whatever you have like I did with a handheld digital audio recorder in 1997. Keep in mind I’m not just starting out. I may be starting into video more deeply, but I’ve been at this content creation and storytelling online journey for 27 years now. Is it overkill? Of course, it is! Will I use it? Of course, I will. I’ll make certain. And that may be the point. To make certain. To live without any excuses. To produce shows without any excuse, other than my limitations, most of which stem from a profound lack of talent. An intensely narrow focus. That’s my current objective. And I know how to do it because I’ve lived most of my life exercising those muscles. For a long time, I thought it was commonplace. Life has taught me how distracted most people are. Chasing their tail. Running around like cats chasing laser pointers. Then wondering why they’ve not accomplished more. Wondering why so many pursuits die on the vine, nowhere close to being ripe enough to pick. I’m still learning. A lot. Not just about video, but about — people, storytelling, achieving my vision, adding value – mostly, being remarkable for an audience. No matter how small. It’s why the parable of the starfish depicts one of my main north stars. Thank you for being on the journey with me. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don’t mean to do harm—but the harm does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves. – a line in the T.S. Elliot play, The Cocktail Party It’s another episode of Free Form Friday for October 11, 2024. Enjoy. Links: Hot Springs Village Inside Out, the podcast – HotSpringsVillageInsideOut.com  Barry Switzer article at EPSN Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  “It’s a bizarre but wonderful feeling, to arrive dead center of a target you didn’t even know you were aiming for.” ― Lois McMaster Bujold Serendipity. Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you’ve found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for.   — Lawrence Block Travel light and trust in serendipity.  — Mike Brown Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now. Stories abound of people pursuing one thing and stumbling onto something else. Something better. It’s likely happened to you, too. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

John Newton said, “I am not the man I ought to be, I am not the man I wish to be. I am not the man I hope to be. But by the grace of God, I am not the man I used to be”. He was a slavery abolitionist who had once been a slave trader. Perhaps that context provoked his statement. I can’t fully relate to the first 3 statements in the quote… I’m not the man I ought to be. I’m not the man I wish to be. I’m not the man I hope to be. Not because I’m perfect, but because I’m dedicated to improvement. My own. Most of the time I am the man I ought to be because a) I know what kind of man I ought to be and b) I work to be that man. More easily, I know the man I wish to be and I’m working to be that man. Ditto for the man I hope to be. For me, the terms “ought,” “wish,” and “hope” are all synonymous, but ought is the most important one. How do YOU determine what “ought” means? What’s it based on? Mine is based on the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We all need a standard, some measurement against which we can examine ourselves. I heard a city councilman on a YouTube video about a horrible drug scene in a major U.S. city remark on how addicts needed faith. Asked if he meant faith in God, he replied that to beat addiction – something he had done himself (he wasn’t the man he once was) – a person needed to believe in something bigger than themselves. For many, it is God. Since God is THE supreme being without a peer, it makes logical sense that it should be God. But the term “ought” means more than having faith in something. It means having something to serve as a standard for your life. Life is filled with standards. They serve us daily. Time has a standard. Every minute has 60 seconds. Every hour has 60 minutes. Every day has 24 hours. Every week has seven days. Measurements have standards. One gallon contains 128 ounces. We pump a gallon of gas in our cars with some assurance that we’re getting a full gallon and not something else because the government inspects gasoline pumps to ensure they’re accurate. These two examples occupy all of our daily lives. Without them, life would be much more chaotic. Without standards imagine how crazy our houses would look. With no standard of measurement to follow all construction would be ridiculous. Some try to convince us that we can establish our own rules of conduct. You get to decide what’s right for you. What you “ought” to do. And that might be very different from what I “ought” to do. But that defies the whole point of a standard, an authority. How about I decide that a gallon of gasoline isn’t 128 ounces? It’s 150 ounces. Ridiculous! Nobody would accept my personalized “standard.” Rightly so because it’s not a standard. It’s an arbitrary desire. And that’s what is happening today, stretched to the point of being ridiculous. The Bible contains the truth of how humans have always tried to behave when they don’t want to recognize God’s higher authority, which always has mankind’s best interest. “Every man did that which was right in his own eyes,” Judges 21:25. It speaks of ancient Israel who rebelled against Jehovah because they did what they wanted and called it “right.” Calling it “right” or what we “ought” to do doesn’t make it so. Not unless we’re the standard bearer and in matters of right, truth, and morality…we’re not the standard. If we were then societies that once sacrificed children in the fire to false gods would have been approved. Nazi Germany would be free from condemnation because in their eyes, they saw it as “right.” No, there’s got to be some standard recognized as the authority. It’s God Almighty. Despite modern culture’s refusal to acknowledge, much less follow, God’s standard, mankind must accept all the visible, scientific, and written testimony of God’s existence and rule. Man or woman. Boy or girl. I’m taking off on John Newton’s quote only because like him, I’m a man. It would equally apply to a woman, boy or girl. Insert the one that properly fits you. No, I don’t mean the one you identify as being. That’s tantamount to saying you think a gallon is 150 ounces, not 128. Think what you will, but you’ll be wrong. How do I know what man I ought to be? Because I listen to and strive to obey God. God tells me in His Word what kind of man I should be. For example, in Ephesians 5 I can read about how I ought to behave toward my wife. I can measure what God says against what I’m doing. By examining myself in light of what I read, I can tell if I’m hitting the mark. Or not. Standards. Authority. Submission. These are the things of “ought.” They determine wishes and hopes. They also determine what once was and what is, too. You get to choose the standards that will govern your life. For me, it’s important that the standards be true and the consequences or rewards are established. I’ve known people who believed that the ends justify the means. So if gaining money was the desired end, it didn’t matter much the means as long as it was legal. But sometimes even questionably legal strategies might be employed if the reward was high enough. At other times compromise became easy when the dollars were high enough. Self-regulation and self-restraint may not be part of the standards you choose. I’ve found that’s a mistake if we want to live our best life. It’s fraught with increasing selfishness that wrecks relationships, careers, and lives. Such is the life of people who follow their desires no matter what. Self-Discipline Is Required To Be The Man I Ought To Be October begins a “no spend month.” That means all those budgeted line item expenses sans the deposable expenses like clothes, gear, gear accessories, dining out, books, or anything else. I’ve set October aside as one month where I’m going to amplify my self-discipline in the single (but big) area of spending. I may extend it beyond October, highly likely. Such a thing seems innocuous, but it’s an important exercise because it requires temperance (self-control). I need to work on my self-discipline muscles by using them with more intensity and vigor. We both know how it’ll go (I’ve done it before so I’ve got some historical proof). Week one will require some focus. Week two will require less focus. By week three it’ll become easier and by the end of the month, I’ll push forward with the notion of keeping it going. The game changes to see how long I can keep it going. The rewards? More money in our bank account or savings account. Greater focus against frivolous or unnecessary spending. Growth in my efforts toward practical minimalism. Discipline that is likely to filter into other areas of my life. The downsides? Depriving myself. The irony is self-deprivation is THE biggest reward. There is no downside to the exercise. Learning To Adapt Is The Path Toward Personal Growth (Improvement) Learning is a discipline. Learning itself is a learned behavior that requires focus, practice, and figuring it out. Life is largely about figuring it out, and then assessing how we’re doing so we can figure it out again. That’s why life is such a rinse-and-repeat process. Rarely do we figure things out, then set it and forget it. External and internal forces often alter our results. We change. Life’s circumstances change. Forcing us to adapt if we want to continue making progress. Whenever we refuse to adapt we call it “being stuck.” It’s the refusal or inability to adapt. In short, it’s a lack of learning that sticks us. Lack of self-awareness is the major constraint. Not knowing what we should know. Not seeing ourselves accurately. “I know, I know,” is the common refrain of teens worldwide. When in truth, they don’t know. They just don’t want to hear somebody tell them. Do that in adulthood at your peril. Refuse to see what you don’t know while whistling in the dark, “I know, I know” and you’ll escape being your best. We have to be responsible for ourselves. It’s not a blame thing. Who cares who or what is to blame? The real issue is, “Now what?” To learn, grow, and improve we must accept responsibility for our behavior, habits, focus, and outcomes.  Avoid those and there won’t be learning, growth, or improvement. We get to decide, but if wisdom (learning, growth, improvement) is the goal – and it is – then we must stop lying to ourselves. Consider a few important factors. Accepting responsibility is primary. Without it, we’re hopeless to get better. We must commit to living based on evidence. Not false evidence, but real evidence. We can think we know based on facts, but when we step back and look at more critically, we may see we’re looking at what we imagine, or what we fear. For example, a friend sends a text, “We need to talk.” What evidence do you have to alert you about the subject or tone of this meeting? None. That’s the truth. But many people will immediately see, as evidence, that this is going to be a confrontational meeting. They’ll prepare, mentally/emotionally, to enter a confrontation even though they have no evidence. They think the worst. Now, the meeting happens and the friend confesses that their marriage is crumbling and they wanted to make sure you learned of this directly from them. Remember, F.E.A.R. stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Appearing real doesn’t make it real. Don’t be fooled. The more uncomfortable it may be, the more you’d better stop and consider it. Self-deception reigns largely because none of us enjoy facing the most uncomfortable truths about ourselves. That’s where the value is though, facing those uncomfortable truths that show us our weaknesses, flaws, and areas of greatest opportunities. Remember, in those uncomfortable truths is where are biggest opportunities abound. It’s our job to embrace them so we can get better. How much do you want it? Only those who want to learn, grow and improve do. It’s an intentional act taken only by determined people. Even then, it’s hard work. So don’t fool yourself into thinking the lazy, unfocused, procrastinators can accomplish it. They can’t. Your willingness to change (grow) is fully in your power. You must want the ideal outcome more than you want to avoid the discomfort of facing reality – and the discomfort of putting in the work. Who surrounds you? When you’re striving to be who you ought to be, not everybody is worthwhile. It may require you to end some relationships. People who don’t want your best are dangerous. They can appear like friends, but those who encourage poor behavior, and selfish actions (I.E. “You deserve to be happy!”) can wreck your commitment to grow. Be careful to avoid surrounding yourself with cheerleaders who encourage you to lean away from wisdom, self-sacrifice, purity, holiness, righteousness and being your best. Instead, lean into others who are pursuing the same growth goals you are – and who want you to be your best while they’re trying to be their best. Birds of a feather and all that. Be kind to yourself during the process. Successful self-improvement isn’t built on self-flagellation. Berating yourself, even when you mess up, isn’t going to help. Yes, be quick to acknowledge your lapses, errors or failures, but then do something to fix them. The Bible calls it repentance. It’s a change of direction. Turning away. Not going back. So when you fail, acknowledge it (the Bible calls it confession), then change your behavior or actions so you don’t repeat it. These are just a few things we must consider as we journey toward becoming a better version of ourselves. 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I learned early in sports that to be effective – for a player to play the best he can play – is a matter of concentration and being unaware of distractions, positive or negative.    -Tom Landry Distractions destroy… Creativity Productivity Efficiency Accomplishment Love Contentment Relationships SUCCESS HIGHER ACHIEVEMENT Distractions embraced equals selfishness. Colossal selfishness. Because it’s pride that drives us to distraction. Past beliefs about yourself won’t carry you into the future. Side hustles became a phrase and thing over 70 years ago, but I suppose there’s always been moonlighting. That is, going to work, getting off work, then going to another job, even if it’s part-time. Today, in 2024 the side hustle isn’t what it was – a way to supplement income so you could feed your family. Now, it’s an income-producing hobby, often called a passion project, indicating it’s something the person claims to love. Presumably more than they love the thing that earns them the biggest chunk of their income. “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” – James Clear Others have replaced “systems” with “training.” Probably more true – you don’t rise to the level of your goals, but you fall to the level of your habits. That and more on this episode of a “free form Friday” show! Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

“It’s amazing how someone can break your heart and you can still love them with all the little pieces.” -Ella Harper Mutually desired relationships are likely going to include some heartbreak. I’ve had my heart broken. I’m certain I’ve broken a heart, too. Not like you’re thinking – I’m hardly a heartbreaker! But I do have the ability, like all of us, to hurt or injure somebody I care about. Sometimes the heartbreak is because of loss. Like when I lost Rocky and Rosie to old age. These two White West Highland Terriers were fixtures in our lives for the better part of 16 years. Rocky passed first. I was heartbroken. Rosie passed and I was wrecked. They didn’t do that to me. Losing them did. Husbands can break their wives’ hearts. Wives can break their husbands’ hearts. Friends can break each others’ hearts. Partners and co-workers can, too. Let’s discuss this topic just a bit. Mostly, we’ll get our toes wet and contemplate how to improve avoiding hurting those we care about most. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

H is for home. Since last year, for the first time in our lives, we have split our time between two homes, both starting with “H.” Hurst, Texas, and Hot Springs Village, Arkansas. But last night we spent a night in another “H” home – Holiday Inn Express in Hurst, Texas. Yes, we had a good reason. When you’re having knee surgery and your bedroom is upstairs…you improvise. That meant finding a local hotel for at least one night to avoid the staircase. Enter Holiday Inn Express at 820 Thousand Oaks Drive, Hurst, Texas – mere miles away. It all began when I was told I’d be on crutches at least for the first day following having my knee scoped. I hopped on one of those online find-a-hotel websites. How often do you search for a hotel in the city where you live? Me? Never. I was looking for location, reviews, and pricing. There were several hotels in the area where I was looking. All of them were close to the highway, which would be necessary because I had work the next day and wanted to be able to jump on the highway quickly. My wife chauffering me. I read a few reviews and settled on the Holiday Inn Express in Hurst, Texas. My surgery was in another DFW suburb, Southlake. But I wanted to be back in the Hurst area #TexasHome. Besides, it was mere seconds from the highway I needed for the following morning. The accommodations were ideal: king bed, mini frig, microwave, desk, sofa and coffee table, walk in shower (one of those kind without any door), and breakfast starting at 6:30 am. I booked it for one night, paying a few bucks extra for the right to cancel it and get a full refund – just in case my surgeon had to change my schedule (he didn’t). Check in was 4 pm. Ok, no problem maybe I can check in early if necessary. I get all those usual pre-surgery calls you get. You answer a million questions and they confirm a schedule. Then days later they may change the schedule, pushing the surgery up or back. Mine was pushed up slightly. “Check in by 7:15 am,” they said. Okay. I’m thinking check-in at the hotel is 4 pm. That’s gonna be a problem because I’m likely going to be awake and checked out of the surgical center by 11 am. So I call the hotel directly. Let me introduce you to Susan Watts-Martinez, General Manager of the Holiday Inn Express in Hurst, Texas. She answered the phone patiently listening to my dilemma. She looked up my reservation, noticing I booked it through an online website. She confirmed I had booked a king room. “I’m happy to pay a little extra to check in early,” I said. “No problem, I can take care of you, Mr. Cantrell,” she assured me. This was a couple of weeks in advance of my surgery so she made notes in their system that I’d need a room ready to go before noon. Yes, I told her I was coming there following surgery in Southlake. “We’ll take good care of you,” said Susan. “Just call us that morning. I’ll be here by 7:30 am. That way we’ll make sure your room is ready.” I thanked her and thought no more about it. Until we checked in. As I crutched my way into the lobby Susan came outside and said, “Randy?” “Yes, ma’am.” “Enjoy your stay and we hope you have a speedy recovery,” she said. I thanked her and went inside making my way to the first room on the first floor, just past the front desk and workout room. Convenient and a short amble down the hall. We enter the room and straight away I notice on the coffee table a bundle of homemade chocolate chip cookies and two bottles of water with the above note sitting nearby. Handwritten Note From Holiday Inn Express, Hurst, Texas “Look at this, “I said to my wife. We remarked how nice that was, then I noticed a large white gift bag with a black ribbon tying the handles together. “What’s this?” I asked. I opened it and found a new 50″ x 70″ gray chenille throw. 50″ x 70″ gray chenille throw I immediately unpacked it and laid down on the bed on top of the covers noting how hard it would be to maneuver under the sheets having just endured. For context, you should know Rhonda (my wife) made me a fleece blanket that I usually take with me on trips. I had lamented that I didn’t have that with me. It was left at our house in Arkansas. This gift from Susan and the Holiday Inn Express staff was perfect because I was already thinking, “It’s gonna be easier for me to sleep on top of the bed.” As I checked out the next day I approached Susan and asked if we could take the picture with whatever staff members were available. Susan quickly gathered the troops and here they are. Here we are! That’s Susan on the far right. SA-LUTE! The HIE Staff in Hurst, Texas These folks are extraordinary! They could have just gone through the motions. I’m nobody special. They had no idea I had a website, a podcast, or such a loud mouth to bally-hoo customer experience! I happily call out superior service. I’m also quite willing to call out awful service. Hotels can universally do better. Susan’s team proves it. Susan, as a leader, proves it. I don’t know Susan, but based on my single night stay at her hotel I know she made up her mind to lead a high-performing team intent on delivering the best guest experience possible. Keep in mind, that we’re not talking about a luxury brand hotel. This isn’t the Ritz. It’s not a $ 500-a-night hotel. Proof that excellent service isn’t the protected domain of luxury or exclusive brands! I slept in a Holiday Inn Express in Hurst, Texas last night. And it was following knee surgery so I wasn’t feeling 100%. But I was happy I decided to because Susan and her team did an outstanding job making me comfortable, welcomed and appreciated. Remember, I was only there one night. These people understand the power of doing for some what you can’t do for everybody…but more importantly, they understand that you can go above and beyond for everybody. And they do! If you ever need a hotel room anywhere in the Mid-Cities area of Dallas/Ft. Worth…be sure you book a room at the Holiday Inn Express at 820 Thousand Oaks Drive, Hurst, Texas 76054. Call them at (817) 427-1818. Tell them I sent you, even though it won’t matter! They’ll roll out the proverbial red carpet for you anyway. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

Let’s define “partner” broadly. It could be a spouse, a business associate, a legal partnership, an informal collaboration, a co-worker, or something else. In short, it’s a joint venture of some sort. You get to define it the way that best suits you. My first partnerships were likely being a sibling to my sister who is 6 years older. We may have been too far apart in age to be a real partnership, but aren’t all kids with brothers and sisters partners in some sense? I watch my grandkids and it seems not much has changed. As children, we had to learn to get along, work together, protect, and support each other. Okay, maybe there were some fights along the way, too. Once I got into school I’d often be teamed up with other students for projects. Mostly, I remember doing bulletin boards or something creative. The teacher would assign one or more people to me to produce something. It was my first real experience with frustration in a creative endeavor. I’ve thought about it often – how early on I should have known I needed to be more discriminating in the ideal partner. Or to consider whether or not I even need or want one. Through the years one phrase has captured my biggest challenge: being like-minded. That doesn’t mean seeing everything identically. Nor does it mean coming to the same conclusion. I’ve wrestled with this notion all my life, attempting to distill the meaning of “being like-minded.” Maybe there’s a better way to figure it out, but my approach was to identify the source of my frustrations. What is driving me crazy and why? It always comes down to, “Is it me, or is it them?” That leads to wrestling with whether or not it’s going to require compromise to lower quality. To lower the expectation. To accept good enough. To avoid reaching for something better. By the time I reached junior high, I knew I was cursed. There would never be a way out. So I started looking for some way forward. It didn’t often happen so I learned to pursue things by myself if the thing was important to me. Think school projects. I had close friends. I had many more friendly acquaintances. I enjoyed being amongst friends. Humor and sarcasm were constant common denominators. But when it came to getting things accomplished, I was sober-minded. Serious. Maybe to a fault. A few people who didn’t know me misinterrupted my introversion and seriousness for conceit. But that was never the issue because I never esteemed myself better than anybody else, albeit I did frequently think, “I wouldn’t do that” when watching somebody make a foolish choice. I was compliant listening to teachers and parents. Mostly doing what I was told, behaving and always mindful of the situation. I was a noticer which made it easier to avoid problems, easier to read people, but impossible to avoid noticing. As a result, my inner signal-to-noise ratio has never been great. When you notice everything you learn to discriminate between the two, but it’s important to distinguish between what you think you’re noticing and true evidence. As a young adult, I began to seriously learn what I termed evidence-based intuition. Gut feel is terrific when you notice everything, but it’s not error-free, even if it is mostly accurate. Pile on some questions that force you to consider what you know to be true, and the accuracy gets closer to perfect. I’ve now practiced that for over 40 years and I’m still working on it. The context matters lest you think I’m just a wild contrarian. I’m not. But I’m driven by accomplishment, not ambition. They can look similar, but the difference is selfishness. Credit. Glory. Honor. I don’t much care about any of those. I care about the final product. I care about the conquest. Today, I often use the metaphor of “taking the hill.” I’m driven to take the hill in the best method possible. The challenge, struggle and adversity provide the juice. Otherwise, everybody would be taking the hill. But not everybody does. And that excites me. Enter the problem. Those who say they too would like to take the hill, but don’t seem to display the stuff required to achieve it. Or to achieve it as efficiently. Or to be dragged along by the momentum of others so they can also experience the hill top. I’ve never had patience with such people. Two things erupted early in childhood about such people (again, think school projects). I remember so many classroom bulletin boards or door decorations that drove me nuts. I’m assigned, with two other students, to decorate the classroom door for the holidays. We brainstorm some ideas and immediately it’s evident my cohorts just want to get past this assignment. Me? I want the output to be awesome – the best in the building. So right off the bat I now know I’ve got two passengers willing to never put their oars in the water as we paddle hard toward producing a great door decoration. But I’m stuck. Never mind that I often would ask – and be granted permission – to just do it by myself. It had nothing to do with not wanting to work alongside others. It had everything to do with wanting to avoid lowering the standard of creating a dynamite door decoration. Listen, I wasn’t some nose-to-the-grindstone kid. I slacked off as much as anybody looking for shortcuts while procrastinating all along the way. But when it came to producing something creative, my brain entered a difference gear. It was completely unintentional. It’s like some auto-pilot feature kicked in that said, “Let’s make this as good as it can be.” And rarely was I tethered to anybody who felt the same way. It was true then. It’s been true ever since. That’s why I started aiming at only helping high-performers some years ago. After serving people who had that “it’s good enough” mentality I quit. I quit trying to help them. It was too frustrating. Besides, they didn’t accept the challenge to be better. Try to help a business owner improve his marketing and pricing, things that will drop to the bottom line quickly. Demonstrate that his pricing is more than 25% lower than he can easily get if he’ll only ask. Do that by making sales at the higher rate. Do it again. And again. And fight him every inch of the way to elevate his customer service so he can continue to raise his prices. Battle him so long you’re exhausted pushing water up a hill (my metaphor for futility) and you’ll have some idea of my frustration. Work with a business owner on reaching new heights of success by challenging how things have always been done. Challenge to think about what might be possible. Not guaranteed, but maybe (just maybe) possible. Then fight to help her see what could be only to realize she won’t, or can’t. For me, there’s always a bigger hill worth taking. And ways to take it better. The excitement, fun and exhilaration come in pushing to see if we can’t do this better. And not just better than anybody else, but far better! I remember challenging grade school classmates that somebody is going to produce the best-decorated door in school (maybe there was a contest, I don’t remember because that didn’t much matter to me – my success was never reliant on somebody else’s approval)…it may as well be US. I’m not a good partner for very many. Not when it comes to getting something done. I know that about myself. I’ve always known that. This has nothing to do with teamwork. Teamwork excites me. Challenging willing people to achieve something together that none of us could alone is a magical experience. However, the driftwood (low performers) on a team frustrates me because I know the damage inflicted on the rest of us. That drove me to pursue leadership in business where I could better serve those of us driven to do our best. I craved being the boss for that very reason. Thankfully, early in my career I got the chance and was able to prove to myself that putting a focus on helping high-performers worked. It always worked. And getting low-performers off the roster as quickly as possible, that always worked. Always. That context isn’t the same as being tied to a person, or maybe two, who just don’t care as much as you do. Or being tied to people who aren’t as capable. Two major factors bubbled up over time: capability and caring. Sometimes I found myself shackled to some idiot who just couldn’t do it. Worse yet, was being tied to somebody who could do it, but didn’t care enough to. Either way, the outcome was awful. As a boss with employees, I was constantly working to determine which is it? If it’s capacity, can I do something to improve that? If YES, then what can I do and how much am I’m willing to do? If NO, then the game is over. If they don’t care, I used to spend time attempting to persuade people to care, but I soon gave up that pursuit because I was never able to figure out how I could do that. I respected everybody’s ability to decide for themselves, but it didn’t mean I had to have them on my roster. So I hit the eject button hoping they might find a team where they could care. Where they could perform better. Partnerships are different animals. They’re more mutual. More equal. Even if there’s some authority hierarchy they just feel and behave differently because they’re more intimate. A marriage partnership is the most intimate of them. A business partnership is a different kind of intimacy, but for some (I don’t condone this) it’s even more important than a marriage. I’ve been married to one girl since 1978. We first dated when we were 18 and since then there’s never been anybody else. For either of us. I’m not a perfect husband. She’s not a perfect wife. We’re good for each other though. Sometimes we even have brief moments of being great for one another. There are many mistakes we can make as mates to ruin or wreck our marriage partnerships. Most of us married folk could make more than a handful before lunch! Here are five mistakes that have made – and currently make – people bad partners for me and ways to avoid them. Hint: the best way to avoid them is to avoid people prone to making these mistakes, but sometimes we don’t know that until we experience it. An ounce of prevention and all that! First, thinking only or mostly about yourself is a mistake.  Don’t consider the other person. Be wrapped up in what you most want. Take square aim at getting only what you need from the partnership. All the other mistakes are some form of this first big mistake. Focus on what the others in the partnership can do for you. Impose on them. Don’t be considerate of their time or effort. And never, ever think about yourself as any of those things – imposing or inconsiderate. Avoiding this “mistake” isn’t easy because self-centered people mostly aren’t able (or willing) to think about others. Selfishness is their way of life, but to them, it’s not selfishness. Many of them think they’re quite compassionate and altruistic. Perhaps our first mistake should be delusion, not self-centeredness. 😉 Second, being a poor listener is a partnership mistake. My lengthy preamble demonstrates a fundamental weakness I have. Paying attention isn’t tough for me. Don’t get me wrong – I can be distracted. Mostly, I can be preoccupied, which causes me to not be as present sometimes. When I’m in a conversation 1:1 in a partnership setting though…I mostly am able to be in the moment and pay close attention. Tone. Words. Body language. Meaning. I’m watching closely so I can understand. If I’m not sure about my understanding, I’m going to ask questions until I do. When I struggle to listen: a. The conversation is unimportant (small talk) b. The person is uninteresting c. The person is verbose, filled with extraneous details d. The person is evasive, not open and putting on a front e. When I don’t care The partnership can be important, but the conversation may not be. That’s hard for me. Cues matter. Avoid cues by neglecting to listen and it’ll demonstrate you don’t care about your partner. The best way to avoid this is to care about your partner and the partnership. Care enough to pay attention. Third, ignore your partner’s frustrations (or preferences). That’s a mistake. We all express displeasure. Sometimes we do it with precision, but mostly we do it more subtly. I’m direct. Not blunt (usually), but direct. I view communication as a relay racer carrying the baton. I want to make sure when I hand off the baton that it’s securely in possession of the person with whom I’m communicating. It’s my responsibility to make sure they get it. Recently I outlined a three-step process to fix a problem a “partner” and I were experiencing. We discussed it. I wrote it down and shared it. It was acknowledged, but ignored. Frustration ensued. Honestly, it’s a result of the other mistakes I’ve listed, too. And if it weren’t for some other positives that outweigh the behavior that drives me crazy, I’d split. But I stick with it hoping I can influence some growth and improvement. I’m hard-headed like that. Remedy: acknowledge your partner’s preferences or frustrations. But more importantly, demonstrate that you care enough to do something about them, to whatever degree you can. For example, after almost 47 years of marriage, my wife and I have a pretty good idea about what frustrates us and our preferences. I love fried catfish and fried okra. She doesn’t much care for either one. I’m mindful of that and seldom suggest dining at a place that offers no alternatives. I don’t want her to choke down something she doesn’t enjoy. A better solution is to find someplace where we can both be satisfied. We could consider numerous behaviors that wreck partnerships. There are likely hundreds of nuanced behaviors, but it seems to me they all stem from one issue, pride. Self. During his recruitment of the men who became His Apostles, the Lord admonished them, “Deny yourself. Take up your cross (of self-denial) and follow me.” Stand up for yourself in partnerships or you’ll get completely run over. People will take over your idea, lower or change your standards, and make your life miserable if you let them. Not because they’re bad people, but because they care more about themselves than you. And while you certainly must care about yourself and your goals, you can still consider and defer to others in the process. Acquiescing to others isn’t a 100% of the time thing. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

It starts with an innocuous request, but you notice it’s not a request as much as information — or a subtle command. The person on the other end of the phone is telling you what they’re going to do. The problem is that it involves having you do something for them. Something you never agreed to, and something that is an imposition. Worse yet, it’s not a close family member. We’re mostly ready, willing, and sometimes able to serve our immediate family members with requests that seem otherwise loaded with gall. 😉 Not so this time. This is a friend. I use that term very loosely. The friend is just calling to inform you of what you’ll be doing for them because they need it and expect it. No questions are asked. No consent is offered on your part because it’s just not necessary. This “friend” has called with 100% expectation that you’ll meet their need. There’s not the obligatory, “Would you…?” or “Could you…?” They don’t even ask how you’re doing, or if you’re up to your ears in your issues. The tone in their voice tells you that they know you have nothing going on nearly as important as what they’ve got going on. Or, it’s the person who invariably calls you with instant ramblings of something only within seconds (or a few minutes at most) of telling you they need to go because they’ve: a) got another incoming call, b) got another call they need to make or c) got something pressing they must do. Translation: I called you because it was important for me to tell you this thing (which is NEVER important at all, or even substantial)…but now that I’ve told you, I have no further need for you. In recent months several close friends lament how often they get such calls. I listen intently to these stories, growing increasingly shocked at the audacity people display toward “friends.” Each time I’ve repeated one story that happened to me over 20 years ago when a “toxic” friend asked me to do something professionally for him. I was home nursing fever and nausea at the time, but I got out of bed, dressed up, and attended a business meeting to help him out. I’ll spare you the details except to tell you it was the last time I ever did anything for him. Instead, a few months later I made up my mind to rid myself of as many of the toxic people in my life as possible. He was first on the list. All take, no give – that’s the best phrase I know of to describe toxic people who are always imposing on you without any regard for what may be happening in your life. And while I’m happily telling you that you should learn to say, “NO!” to them so you can say “Yes!” to better people – that’s not the point of today’s show. But it could be. People matter. Good people matter to help us. Bad people matter because they damage us. That makes it urgent for us to figure out when to say no so we can say yes. But I’m thinking more about creative endeavors. Particularly, podcasts and content (whether it’s writing, audio or video). I’m thinking of the YES that first requires a NO. Mostly, I’m thinking about my consumption and creation. On one hand, I’m the audience. On another, I’m the creator. So what’s the difference? And how does saying NO so we can say YES play into it all? Let’s try to figure it out. I’m asking for a favor that I hope is NOT an imposition. Email me your feedback about this podcast to [email protected] I want to make Leaning Toward Wisdom more impactful – more meaningful – for YOU. I don’t quite know how to best do that, but I have a high degree of willingness.  Mostly, I want to say NO to whatever devalues this podcast for you so I can say YES to whatever might make Leaning Toward Wisdom serve you better! Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

Well, it’s not true that how you do anything is how you do everything, but still I’m rather fond of the concept because it works. For instance, do you step over things that need to be picked up? I don’t mean snotty tissues or other debris that might be a campground for all kinds of filth. Say you’re out walking on a trail and you see a discarded soda can. Do you pick it up or leave it? Some would pick it up and others wouldn’t. There’s also a 3rd group – those who don’t see it. Or don’t care. People who notice seem to always notice. People who pick up things seem always to pick up things. People who don’t pick up something seem never to pick up things. I’ve found this to be mostly — true. I pick things up. But not every time. Some nasty-looking tissue is likely going to remain as I walk past it. The place matters, too. If I’m on a busy sidewalk I won’t pick up a gum wrapper, much less a snotty tissue. In that context, I’m not likely going to stop to pick up anything other than something valuable or something a person may have dropped. Still, how you do anything tends to be how you do everything. But that’s not as powerful a phrase. Social media (mostly) has taught me I have a horrible deficiency. Okay, it’s taught me I have many horrible deficiencies with this one included – I don’t foster controversy. I’m not polarizing. Absolutes are powerful because they’re polarizing and that gets attention. I don’t clamor for or yearn for attention. Yes, I want the attention of some to listen to this podcast – and the other podcasts I produce. Yes, I want people to read, or at least scroll through, things I write. Yes, I want people to gain something from the sermons I preach and all the other content I produce – which means first, they have to pay some attention. For me, the context is always the message though. The thought. The question. Provoking thought in hopes our thoughts will drive us to change, grow, and improve. For the past few decades, I’ve been fixated on improving my ability to figure things out and finding ways to help others do the same. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

Bariatric surgeries have increased over 500% since 1998. Bariatric surgeries have exploded (that might not be the proper verb) in recent years. Part of the reason is the improved technologies to make it “minimally invasive,” but I think it’s primarily because people want a fast, easy fix. And now add a new found popularity of drugs like Ozempic ® making weight-loss even easier. Everybody wants fast and easy. Nobody prefers slow and hard. But there are some things where slow and hard provide a value not found in fast and easy. After a round of NFL playoffs games as the 2023/2024 season was winding down I heard a coach say something I’ve heard before, but something I hadn’t heard in awhile. He remarked that great football teams do the hard things really well. For months I’ve thought about it even though I instantly knew he was right. There’s beauty and wisdom in the struggle. Never mind that we don’t always enjoy it. It benefits us. There’s that old tale of a man watching a caterpillar struggle to escape its cocoon. Figuring he’d make it easier for the butterfly to emerge he got a pair of scissors and snipped parts of the cocoon. Minutes later some creature not even resembling a butterfly escaped the cocoon. Turns out by making it easy he had ruined any chance for the caterpillar to enter a phase of being a butterfly. The struggle required to wriggle out of the cocoon forced life into the wings. No struggle, no wings. No wings, no butterfly life. It’s a good reminder of the value of our own struggles. Even if, in the moment, we can’t quite see the future benefit. In Thy Paths Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

More specifically maybe…false assumptions about my (our) retirement… That you must have at least a million dollars to retire. That you really need three million dollars to retire with security. That you should delay collecting Social Security until at least 65, and preferably until 70. That you should travel. That you should do all the things you’ve always wanted to do, but never got around to. That you’ll struggle with a sense of purpose. That you may struggle with boredom if you’re not careful. That it will cost you much more than you figured. That it’s important to have (and pursue) a bucket list. That you’ll have much more leisure time. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  Happy Father’s Day 2024! My dad enjoying the sunshine The what was crystal clear. The how was no where in sight. Casey Neistat is the OG of YouTube, vlogging and social media creation. He’s associated with New York, but it wasn’t always so. Casey set his sights on NYC knowing he wanted to make it there. Without any idea or plan on how to do it. But he’d grown up hanging on by a thread so he was comfortable. Casey had two qualities that drove him, gratitude and optimism. A little boy with absentee parents. No restraints. No security. Hanging on by a thread. One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor. The desperation and despair drove him. Created him. Forged him. Watching Casey for years and knowing his story got me thinking about mastering the hang. The hanging by a thread. Handling risk and failure. Hanging on. Even by a thread because even a thread provides suspension above failure. And despair. In the thread we find hope. Enough hope to continue. Patience vs. impatience. A willingness to hang on by that thread for however long it’ll take. Casey describes his early life as a life without any plan B. He was working 60 hours a week making $7.25 an hour working in a restaurant kitchen. What was he going to do? Move back to southeastern Connecticut where he’d grown up in despair? Optimism drove him to declare – both to himself and others – “I’ll figure it out.” Said Casey: “I was running from a pack of wolves. I knew if I slowed down or stopped, I’d be eaten.” Thinking of Casey’s story and how he described the early part of his journey to find success, I began thinking for the umpteenth time about how life circumstances impact us. It’s remarkable how for some it becomes crippling baggage providing a million excuses. For others, like Casey, it’s the catalyst that drives them to rise above all the tragedy and despair. That old meme remains true. Hot water makes the egg hard, but it softens the potato. I suppose it’s the hot water that shows us what we truly are, but I’m still puzzled about the choices we make – and I do believe we choose what we become, unlike the egg or potato. When working with a group in my coaching practice I often deploy a number of strategies to create closer bonds. Trust, vulnerability, safety – these are all critical when we’re trying to develop high-performing teams (or groups). Seeing each other as something other than a position or title serves all of us well. At work we rarely are able to show our full humanity, which is a shame because that’s where our deepest connections are made. It’s interesting to watch it happen. A group of people enter a room. They know each other. They have some context for one another. But many of them don’t really know each other very well. Over an hour, or two, they begin to see other differently. They understand the past pain, suffering and struggle. We can all relate. Our story specifics may differ, but at a macro level – we’re mostly similar. It’s apparent that we all had many opportunities to decide, will we be an egg or a potato? Will the circumstances of our life – especially the ones we had little control over – harden us or soften us? And will that hardness manifest itself in a resolve to rise above it or will it be a hardness that drives us deeper into excuse-making, and blaming? Will it soften us in ways that cripple us and rob us of the confidence and resolve needed to succeed? Or will it soften us so we can be more compassionate and grow into better humans? Choice. Making up our mind. Will we hang by the thread with optimism? “Hey, look…I’m still hanging on!” versus “Oh, man. I’m just a thread away from falling.” Hanging on by a thread is still hanging on. Just like “by the skin of your teeth” is still getting by. Sure, the margin is thin but it’s a bit binary – you’re either hanging on or not. Whether it’s by a thread or a strand of threads. It’s congruent with the theme of last week’s episode. There’s pressure on the situation. Maybe it’s do or die. Maybe not. But in this moment we feel the urgency, importance and seriousness of the situation. Or maybe we *think* we know. Time. Capability. Innate talent. Skill. Experience. Opportunity. Challenge. What’s the goal of hanging…whether by a thread or a strand? Is the object to continue to hang or is there something else? I’ve never wanted to just hang indefinitely. As kids we had monkey bars. The goal was to move from one end of the contraption to the other by way of a dozen or so bars from which you had to hang. The point was to swing from one bar to the next until you completed it…all without letting go. Hanging was the conveyance to get from one end to the other. For me, hanging has a purpose. Maybe it’s waiting for what’s next. Maybe it’s moving toward what’s next. But hanging is a moment in time and I guess the question is, “How long do I need to hang on until that next thing occurs?” It’s a game of endurance. Which makes that thread part of it seem dangerous. Maybe it is dangerous. Maybe it’s more dangerous in our head based on our fear that the thread won’t last long enough. How long is long enough? There’s the rub. We don’t often know. Enter fear. Fear of falling. Fear of the thread breaking. Fear we won’t survive the fall. Does that make us paranoid? Or delusional? Or pessimistic? It could. But not necessarily. All of us are afraid of failing…falling. Some of us are afraid of hanging on, too. Perhaps we’re afraid of even grabbing the rope, no matter how strong it may appear. Some years ago one of our grandsons would not jump into the swimming pool. All the other kids would run and jump in, but he’d stand on the edge hesitating. Followed by more hesitation. And more stalling. Then he’d back up, start to run toward the edge, then stop. This would go on for many minutes until he’d finally just take a step and drop into the pool. He never would jump. I spent many minutes with him every time this happened…trying to understand what he was feeling. “What are you afraid might happen?” I’d ask. He couldn’t tell me. “Look at the other kids who are jumping in. Have you ever seen them get hurt, or cry after they jump in?” I’d ask. He hadn’t, but he still couldn’t bring himself to jump. Until one day he did…and that was that. Fear conquered in a single swoop. But until he did it he was too afraid to grab the rope of jumping. I’ve thought long and often of my own fears. Considering the ropes of my life that I’ve neglected to grab…or the ropes I grabbed, but failed to hold onto long enough. I’ve thought of the times I may have quit too soon. Stopping short of success that might have been. What might have been… It’s not helpful though. To dwell on choices we didn’t make. We know the outcome of our life because of the choices we did make. If those choices have taken us to the thread when we could have avoided the thread, we should learn. We should repent – change our mind, change our direction, do better. Become more wise. If those choices can be fixed, we should pursue figuring out how. Whatever we do, we must face our present reality. Now What? We are where we are because it’s where we’ve chosen to be. Not that we chose to be sick, or unemployed or whatever other bad things may have happened to us, but we chose our reactions to the hardness of our lives. Those choices put us here. Right here. Right now. What are we going to do now? Will we hang in there by doing what we’ve always done to put us in this precarious state? Or… Will we hang in there by growing, improving and figuring out our missteps? In short, will we fix what ails us or just complain about our lot in life? We are, after all, trying to lean toward wisdom, which includes reducing or eliminating our cowardice and excuse-making. What does the hanging by a thread represent to you? I think mostly we associate it with barely hanging on. To which I’d say, but we’re still hanging. In my life, I just don’t want it to be passive. It needs to be active — an intentional effort to gain a better position. That means, at some point I’m going to have to let go of the current position. To remain holding on by a thread seems like a bad strategy. Unsafe even. But I don’t want to let go until I feel I’ve bettered myself. I need something better to grab onto. I recently read about the Palmar Grasp Reflex, noticeable in new born babies. We know how strong their grip can be. I never understood why until now. The Palmar Grasp develops around week 28 of gestation. It lasts until a child is about 6 months old. It’s involuntary. The baby isn’t behaving intentionally…yet. Put your finger or any object in their open palm and they’ll grab it more tightly than you’d think they’d be able. I read that it’s almost strong enough to hold the baby’s weight (not advisable). Sometime between 4-6 months babies start deliberating reaching for things. Scientists think the Palmar Grasp Reflex is the same neural pathway needed later for the baby to choose to grasp things. So, if you’re older than 6 months old you get to decide what to grab. Be careful, but brave. Recklessness is never a wise choice. Too much caution though can rob us of opportunities to advance and grow. Or have fun, as illustrated by my fearful grandson refusing to jump into the pool. Casey Neistat endured a childhood he described as “hanging by a thread.” Still, he had something to hang onto until he figured out something else to grab. I suppose we all have to grab onto something. Something to which we can hang onto for however long it seems to serve us. For teenage Casey it meant diving headlong in filmmaking. It meant moving to New York City without any connections. It meant letting go of home because that wasn’t working well enough for him and grabbing onto himself to chase his dreams. We know his story because it worked out well for him. But I propose it would have worked out well for him no matter what. Leaving a place where he was hanging by a thread to grab something better was surely going to happen because Casey first did the hard thing. He made up his mind to find something he could grab, then he let go. I know people who were not hanging by a thread, but by a solid strand who let go without having any valuable hand or foot hold to go to. People let go all the time because they’ve convinced themselves their unhappiness is somebody else’s fault. Stuck in blaming the world for their poor behavior and poor choices they find themselves miserable. Misery drives them to full speed selfishness where misery gives way to despair. Rather than doing what young Casey did – making up his mind that he wasn’t going to live hanging by a thread – they just let go of the little good they may have. Nobody free falls their way to a better life. Nobody falls into growth, improvement and wisdom. It requires a wise decision. That wise decision can be just momentarily where we refuse one thing to grab something else. It may be a short period where we do the right thing, which may lead to longer periods of doing the right thing. No matter the time frame, it always demands a mind made up. So if you’re hanging by a thread keep hanging. Diligently look for a better hold. Analyze the prospective future hold and make the best decision you can. Be brave and reach for it. Grab it like a newborn baby. Then let go of the thread. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  Kenneth Aronoff is a drummer for John Mellencamp. He’s also part of a documentary, The Untold Stories Of Your Favorite Musicians. He talks about the early days with Mellencamp when he was asked to come up with a drum solo of sorts for a new song, Jack & Diane. When I first heard him say it my mind went into a few different directions. One, being good under pressure. Not everybody is. How can we improve that skill? Two, being good on your feet. That is, being able to figure it out in real-time, with the clock ticking. Again, how can we hon that ability? Three, knowing you’re at a pivot point that could (no guarantees) change everything. How can we recognize the importance of this moment? Aronoff had enough of all three to handle this moment. “It’s kind of funny…the moments on which life hinges. I think growing up you always imagine your life–your success–depends on your family and how much money they have, where you go to college, what sort of job you can pin down, starting salary…But it doesn’t, you know. You wouldn’t believe this, but life hinges on a couple of seconds you never see coming. And what you decide in those few seconds determines everything from then on… And you have no idea what you’ll do until you’re there…” ― Marisha Pessl, Special Topics in Calamity Physics (a novel) Pessl is a novelist who has crafted some great lines. Truthful lines. This is one of favorites. Life often hinges on a couple of seconds we never see coming. More accurately, it hinges on what we do in that moment. In those seconds. And while you have no idea until you’re there, all the things we’ve done up that moment prepare us. I will prepare and some day my chance will come.  – Abraham Lincoln That line speaks to our ability and our optimism. The belief that we’ll put in the necessary work and in time, we’ll get an opportunity. I often wonder if we knew in advance of that moment, would it help us or hurt us? Might we live in constant fear and anxiety if we knew? It may be a blessing that when those moments arrive, we had little or no warning. In the last episode I talked about how special forces train so when the battle erupts, they react wisely (and well) automatically. So much so, they describe their reactions under fire as “it just happens.” That’s the value of preparation. It’s the value of focus, intensity and dedication to constant improvement. It’s also the quest to learn what we don’t yet know. Ignorance isn’t bliss. It can be disastrous when we act based on it. Many dramatic stories prove the point. Mostly, tragedies prove it. Hamlet. Romeo & Juliet. Stories where people lacked knowledge, but took actions based on it. Stories where they had 25 to save themselves, or somebody else…but they got it wrong. Tragedy has visited each of us, partly because of actions taken based on our ignorance. We thought something, but without full knowledge, or understanding, we got it wrong. The result was tragic. Maybe not life and death tragic, but some version of tragic none the less. 25 feet to get it right. Or to get it wrong. I began to consider the journey to those 25 feet, wondering how important those feet are. And how we might influence them. Reminiscing of my 25-foot-moments I tried to remember what led me there. What happened and how did I get it wrong? Did I get it wrong? Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

On Chris Williamson’s Modern Wisdom YouTube show with Tim Kennedy, a Special Forces master sergeant and author, Kennedy was recounting the extensive training of special forces. In the fog of war there is no time to think when bullets start flying. It’s all reaction. He details the many micro movements of firing a weapon during a fire fight, emptying the weapon and reloading – all within seconds. It’s not a strategic – “I now need to do this” – kind of thing. It’s something you’ve practiced tens of thousands of times. So much that when the moment comes, it just happens. It just happens. He said you practice it so much, that when the moment comes, it just happens! But first, it’s a slow, arduous journey of working hard. Everything is hard, until it’s easy. Everything is slow, until it’s fast.  This is why most things remain hard to many people. They don’t put in the work. It’s why we remain broke, fat and miserable, too. And why too many of us lack faith, gratitude and compassion. Because it’s hard work. It’s not couch potato work! Some weeks ago I mentioned to Lisa Norris, my co-host on the Grow Great podcast (a podcast about city government leadership) that every high-performer I’ve ever known pursues the hard stuff. They’re not complacent. They’re all strategic in learning more, growing and adding to their arsenal. I remarked, “Everything is hard, until it’s easy and high-performer are always chasing the hard stuff.” Practice doesn’t make perfect, but perfect practice does. That’s what we’ve heard for decades. It’s absurd though because it presupposes that our work ought to be perfect in practice (when it doesn’t matter as much). However, if the saying speaks to the process of practice being perfect (our willingness to put in the work by doing what we must in order to improve), then it’s not absurd at all. When I heard Tim Kennedy’s response I went back to notes I’d been making to myself about preparation (practice). I’m a lifelong fan of preparation. This – and all my podcasts – depict my fandom. I use a broadcast workflow because I’d rather prepare in advance of recording instead of just winging it, then fixing it all in editing after-the-fact. Besides, preparation is where I’ve found my confidence can be greatly enhanced. And I hate not feeling confident. What is confidence? Where does it come from? Where do we have it? Long ago I concluded that my confidence isn’t singular. There are a few different types of confidence in my life. First, there’s confidence in God. I’ll call it a spiritual confidence. It’s based on belief, faith and conviction. It’s not an internal faith in myself, but rather it’s my inner confidence in something and someone else – something much higher and more powerful than myself. My spiritual confidence is based only on the Bible because it’s the only standard I have to inform me about God. Any other confidence based on feelings or intuitions or urges would come from me, not the Bible. That makes them susceptible to being mere delusions so I won’t base my spiritual confidence on such things. Second, there’s confidence in others. This is an external confidence based on my belief and trust in others. It may be based on past history or expected future. I’m confident that our family will help influence my five grandchildren to be successful adults, able to navigate their lives well. Ages 16 to 8, it’s yet to be proven, but I have confidence in our family and in these children. Maybe it’s an optimism based on the work we’re putting in to help train them all. But it’s not entirely based on the adults in the family. None of these 5 children have shown an unwillingness to be compliant to learn and improve. My confidence in others is based on past behaviors and on my expectations of their capabilities. It’s not an absolute though because I’m not in control of what they do. I’m not confident they’ll please me because that’s not my expectation. I expect them to improve and grow because I care about them being their best. Third, I have confidence in myself. It’s not absolute or complete. Sometimes it’s spotty. More so than I’d like. My confidence in myself is mostly born from preparation…practice. In areas where I fail to focus, I struggle. Appropriately. Permit me to veer to where I lack confidence and why. The federal government is’t my savior. I already have a Savior who is divine so there’s no point in looking for one that’s not. I know many people look at the federal government, and to a lesser degree state and local governments, to rescue them from whatever ails them. I don’t. It’s a conscious choice all of us make. It’s problematic to put confidence where it doesn’t belong because fundamentally it’s delusional. It’s belief in something that isn’t worthy of that belief. It’s unreasonable and unrealistic expectation that something will happen, which will never happen. The cavalry of government isn’t coming to save us. They work vigorously to make us believe though. They desperately want and need our confidence to be placed in them. “Trust us. We know what’s best. Just leave this business to us.” We hear those kinds of messages from local municipalities all the way to Washington, DC. It’s a global epidemic as governments are in full-blown self-preservation mode growing bigger and bigger. …I hope we have once again reminded people that man is not free unless government is limited. There’s a clear cause and effect here that is as neat and predictable as a law of physics: As government expands, liberty contracts.”          – Ronald Reagan Self-preservation motivates those in power to remain in power. Fear contributes to the process. It works like a charm. A snake charmer! 😀 I only digress to point out that everybody can put their confidence where they choose. This is merely my admission of my own choices. You make those you feel are best for you. I’m on record that I’m a capitalist who enjoys the power of a free and open market. Yes, I support competition and oppose monopolies. There’s nothing free about the latter. I know markets make winners and losers of us all. If I bring insufficient value, I won’t survive as a business. If I bring high value, I will. Besides, I’m fond of knowing how I’m doing. Keeping score is a great thing when it comes to business and enterprise. It’s a terrible thing when it comes to interpersonal relationships. In the race to bet on oneself or to bet on government, I’d much prefer to bet on myself. I view government as I view leadership. It’s a focus on others and doing for others what they can’t do for themselves. So while I need government and as a Christian, I pray for governments, I don’t put my confidence in them – beyond trusting them to pick up my trash, make sure my water works (and is clean), make sure my toilets flush, make sure my electricity continues to work, make sure my safety is reasonably preserved, etc. I can’t do those things for myself. 1 Timothy 2:1–4 First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. Romans 13:1 Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Who is working for whom? It’s fundamental to the conversation about confidence and being prepared. Who is serving whom? Being in service to myself to put in the necessary work to become better isn’t selfish. It’s right. Everybody benefits. As I grow and improve as a person I can better influence those around me. I can make better decisions. Take better actions. Benefit myself and all around me. It can’t be helped IF I practice with intensity to insure that when moments come, I’m fully prepared to do the right thing. Not without thinking, but because I already made up my mind. Because I pre-thought it by putting in the work. That’s the point. Putting in the work in advance. That’s the practice. Putting in the work long enough to endure the hard…until it gets easier. Then continuing it long enough until it becomes easy. Then… Advancing it up a notch (or three) to make it hard again…until it gets easier. For me, it’s the drive to always make it better. It’s also the dissatisfaction that it’s good enough. Not to the point where my discontentment is crippling (or anywhere close to that), but to the point where I’m continually driven to improve it. It’s a restlessness with complacency. For me, it’s not a restlessness with calmness or quiet. I’ve seen that in the lives of others, people who are just perpetual motion machines. Such folks tend to not get nearly enough done though. They log a bunch of miles, but without actually going anywhere. This often mistake movement with progress. It rarely just happens for them. I know because I hear how hard they work, how much they’re hustling, how fast they’re working and how busy they are. “I’ve gotta run,” they repeat. Years later, it’s the same thing. These poor folks are stuck in Ground Hog Day living a life on constant REPEAT. That’s not progress. That’s not growing confidence. That’s not practicing so when the moments comes “it just happens.” It’s also exhausting. And I’m only a spectator to their frenzy, but it whips me. In place of that…what if the effort were focused? Intentional. Purposeful. Strategic. What if our “practice” was driven with forethought aimed at an ideal outcome? And here’s a big one: what if our practice was at something we couldn’t wait to do over and over again because we desperately wanted to master it? And what if we mastered it and we still felt like we could advance in it? How good could you become at such a thing? There’s only one way to find out. Do it. Give it a go. Keep on giving it a go. Make sure that talent is your limitation, not aimed effort. I know I have limited skills that will prevent me from achieving more, but I have no way of knowing those limitations if I don’t practice diligently to improve. There are naturally gifted athletes who make it to the professional ranks. There are less gifted people who also make it to the pros. It would seem you can make it to the professional leagues of sports by being naturally talented, but you also have to put in the work to practice your sport. The extraordinary athletes, those world-class performers, combine both. Then along comes that person who has visibly natural ability that makes them superior, but something goes awry. Maybe it’s addiction. Maybe it’s poor behavior. Maybe it’s lack of desire, or lack of work ethic. And their career, which could have been spectacular, fizzles. Because something got in the way of putting in the practice. Discipline to stay the course. Missing. It’s hard to discipline yourself. It’s hard to do the hard thing. Procrastination is easy. “I don’t feel like it right now,” is a phrase I’ve said too often. As a result, many things have gone undone. Either completely or for longer than necessary. Not right now. And when the moment comes, that’s the answer we get back to the thing we most wish would happen in that moment… Not right now. How’s that working out for you? Really well. It’s efficient. Reliable. Ridiculously predictable. Galatians 6 7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. 9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.  You didn’t know that was in the Bible? Yep, that’s where mankind got that wisdom – you reap what you sow. What goes ’round comes ’round. God ordained it. Nature proves it. Plant tomatoes and you get tomatoes, not okra. Or cucumbers. Everything after its kind. God ordained that, too. What are you practicing? Why? If you practice self-indulgence, then that’s what you’ll reap. The consequences of a self-indulgent life. If you practice self-discipline, then that’s what you’ll reap. The benefits of temperance, self-control. I wish it were an all the time, everything deal, but for me – it’s not. Sometimes I’m self-indulgent. Other times, I’m self-disciplined. My goal is to lean away from self-indulgence and lean toward wisdom through self-discipline. Restraint from the things I should not do and embracing the things I should – that’s what I ought to do. Ought to. “Mean to don’t pick no cotton” is a Southern saying that means saying you intend to do something is different from actually doing it. “All hat and no cattle” is an idiom that means someone is full of big talk but lacks action, power, or substance. I’m too often guilty of that. Like right now. I’ve got a list of things I need to do. A long list that isn’t getting any shorter because I’m not knocking things off that list. The Yellow Studio 4.0 took weeks longer because I’d stare at the work required and say, “Not now.” But when I dove in and began to do the work it was rewarding to see it come together. The feeling afterward was positive, uplifting. The feeling after I made excuses was guilt. Uplifting or guilt? That’s an easier choice than doing the work or putting it off. Homer Simpson’s philosophy continues to grow in many of our lives. “Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?” Well, the answer is choose regret and guilt or choose achievement and confidence. Laziness or achievement? But there’s something else about that line uttered by the Special Forces guy…” you practice it so much, that when the moment comes, it just happens! In that world of warfare, there are moments that come. Pivotal, life and death moments. As I kept thinking about this line and how truthful I believe it to be, I also realized that in our lives – we ordinary folks who aren’t in mortal combat – our achievements are comprised of lots of moments. Some of them micro moments. Some not so micro. More often than not, moments that don’t seem so consequential – not like a fire fight in war. More like, a moment where I decide to not eat that ice cream sandwich and go for a 20-minute walk instead. Moments where I decide not to buy that shiny little object, but to set that money aside in a high yield savings account. Or an S&P500 low cost index fund. And it’s the cumulative impact of all these choices that define my life. Financially. Spiritually. Physically. Relationally. It’s a moment of hugging my wife. Or refraining from hugging her. It’s a moment of putting my phone away so I can be more present as I sit across from her at a restaurant table. Or at home. Or not. It’s a moment of squirreling away that $100 I find myself with, or blowing it on something frivolous. It’s a moment of thinking the worst of somebody, or thinking there may be a plausible explanation for their behavior in this moment. It’s the compounding effect of all my choices and decisions and how they add up to create a definition. Not a defining moment, but a defining life. I’ve talked about that chart of a penny doubled every day for 30 days. It’s worth bringing up again, but it’s how our lives work in areas beyond money.   We make choices that seem insignificant. Good choices. Bad choices. The compounding works the same. Cumulative bad choices take a toll that’s far heavier than we think in real time. Cumulative good choices pay off in a far grander way than we realize in the moment. Good can take time. Bad tends to take less time. By day 27 a person who opted for the penny doubled is thinking, “I made a horrible choice. Only 3 days left and I’m over $300,00 shy of what I could have had if I’d taken the million bucks.” But look at those last 3 days. In a single day he’d have made up the difference plus an additional $342K. The next day, he’s over 2.6x times the single million dollars. And by day 30, he’s got almost $5.4 million instead of just one million. It’s these moments that define us. These moments of decision and action. Or indecision and inaction. It doesn’t mean the line is any less valid or accurate. I think it very much is – we put in the work, we predetermine what we’re going to do, we practice doing it, and we keep on doing it over and over so when bigger moments come, it happens. Because all along the way those smaller moments have been happening. Our preparation has increased our confidence. Our confidence has built our resilience. Our resilience has prepared us for the things that could go wrong so we can counter punch them. It’s the difference in a life well lived or a life wasted. For combat soldiers, it’s life or death. I could argue it’s true for us, too. All of us. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  Note: The picture in the featured image is my 100-year-old dad holding my 92-year-old mother’s hand as she lay dying. She passed from this life on April 4, 2024. They were married for 73 years, a testimony to the power of companionship. Companion / Companionship a person or animal with whom one spends a lot of time a feeling of fellowship or friendship Do you want to be alone with yourself? And if not, then why do you think anybody else would ever want to be around you? What is it about you that might be off-putting? Or unsafe? Let’s begin with a word, EFFORT. It’s the thing we can all control. It’s the igniter in the combustion chamber of success. Whether it’s relationships – companionship, or some other pursuit – if we put in enough effort, we can always ensure our growth. Hard work may not result in an absolute win, but it will result in personal growth. The kind of growth that can impact every aspect of our life. “Be of good cheer. Do not think of today’s failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.”         ― Helen Keller In recent weeks I’ve talked a lot about my challenges with having too many spinning plates. This goes directly to EFFORT, which means we need to discuss another word, CAPACITY. There is a limit to our effort because our time is limited. And our ability is limited, too. Time is easy to measure. It’s definite. Ability may be impossible to measure. I suspect we’re all severely limited by our mind thinking “this is all I’ve got,” when in reality, we can do more. Evidence of such things is the Navy Seal training and many other physical/mental challenges that people regularly conquer. The person who wants to run their first marathon may quit thinking it’s too hard. But those who go on to run their first learn they’re more able than they thought. Those who quit are convinced it just wasn’t something within their reach. Like Henry Ford famously said… “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.” What if we believed – truly believed – we were more able? I have asked hundreds of executives, business owners, and other leaders a simple question: “Would you say that most of your dreams have come true?” 100% of them answer, “Yes.” That doesn’t mean every dream was achieved. Or that they’ve got no more dreams left to chase. It just means they achieved most of the things they set out to achieve. After they’ve weighed in, I’ll then say, “Makes you wonder what kind of potential we’re leaving on the floor, huh?” What if we dreamed bigger? What if we chased something seemingly impossible for us? Our lives seem to be proving to us that we might be able to achieve most things we pursue. Why shouldn’t we reach for more? And why shouldn’t we help others reach for more? Time is easier. Daily we say YES and NO. Daily we may say yes to things we’d rather say no to. We may also say no to things we’d really like to say yes to. All these decisions impact our time. They determine our calendar. And our calendar – those things we answer wrongly – determines our resentment and bitterness. Suppose I say yes to an invitation I’d rather say no to. Maybe I’m cowardly in the moment. Maybe I’m too worried about hurt feelings. Not my own, but the person inviting me. Maybe social pressures are in play. But for some reason, I give the wrong answer and now this dreaded event is on my calendar. Who is served by my wrong answer? Not me. Not my inviter. Nobody else in my sphere. Because I’m going to dread it and it’ll certainly impact my demeanor and behavior. That doesn’t mean I have to behave hatefully. I can certainly make the decision that’s ideal in a polite way. I can be gracious and thank the person for inviting me, but politely decline. A major component of managing effort, ability, and time is truth. We’re surrounded daily by deceit. Lies are all around us. Constantly. We come to think that lying is just a way of life, but it’s not. If we’re devoted to the truth – and our commitment to telling the truth, firstly to ourselves, then to everybody else – we can avoid a lot of messes. The lies we tell ourselves take a heavier toll than I suspect we understand. Who wants to live a delusion? Well, you’d think most of us because it sure seems we’ve all done a fair job of creating our own matrix to define our lives. We tell ourselves what is and isn’t possible without any evidence. We wrap ourselves in blankets of anxiety and insecurity whilst pretending to be confident, strong and able. We show off and show out instead of showing up. We drive expensive cars to look rich while being in debt and broke. All that fronting is a lie – a delusion to medicate ourselves on feeling better about our life. What if we just behaved better? What if we told ourselves and others the truth? All the time? What if we stopped fronting and pretending? What if we did the right thing in kindness? Always acting with integrity? What if the delusions and misjudgments of others were stripped of their power? What if we didn’t respond to hateful treatment? What if we didn’t get drawn into the delusion? A woman tells me about a sister, a lifelong drug addict. It’s a long, laborious story of hurt, betrayal, and awful behavior. The parents – they’re gone now, but after years of being taken advantage of by a daughter. The delusion of the wayward sister foisted onto everybody in her wake, most notably those people who cared the most about her. And when big sister draws a line after realizing that a relationship – companionship – with little sister is only enabling little sister to impose her delusions – does the venom really start spewing from her sister. All the vile, hateful things she once thought she had endured now pale in comparison. She says, “I love her very much, but she can’t see it. She’s so warped in how she sees her life and my life, there’s no fixing it. I now realize I have to commit myself to people who I love who are willing to love me back.” As I listen to a story I’ve heard more times than I can recall (all the people whose lives have been disrupted by a loved one disconnected from the reality of their own poor choices and bad behavior), I think of all the waste. Wasted lives. Wasted time. Wasted resources. Total loss! I hate the term “mindset,” mostly because it’s overused. That viewpoint, perspective or whatever word might be more suitable to me – it’s important. It determines how we behave. It determines our choices. Our effort. Our dreams. Our aspirations. What we believe. “…when people already know they’re deficient, they have nothing to lose by trying.” ― Carol S. Dweck,  Mindset: The New Psychology of Success A Lack of Understanding Kills the Truth Becoming a better companion requires becoming a better person. That takes work and the work needs understanding. The parents of a murdered boy sue the city because the police department proved corrupt. Evidence was intentionally hidden. The public doesn’t have all the information available to the family of the victim. Public outcry rails against the family as money grubby greedy people. But money is the least of the family’s concerns. In fact, justice for their son’s murder is secondary to wanting to restore faith in police so others won’t have to endure what they’re going through. The public doesn’t understand, but they think they do. They’re convinced they’ve got it all figured out. They know exactly why this family is suing the city. But they’re wrong. A corrupt detective had destroyed evidence. His lies destroyed the truth, for a time. It had painted an untrue narrative of the victim in order to pin the murder on an easy suspect. The detective would be the hero, convicting a person based on strong, but circumstantial evidence. Evidence it turned out that was largely the result of a fictional story. Over time – years – most come to understand what they formerly didn’t. A clearer understanding results in truth. Truth results in a change in their behavior toward the family. That’s how understanding unlocks things for all of us. Things may not be what we think. Our assumptions and cognitive biases can interfere with the truth. Bad enough for us to practice a lie – like the detective. Worst still for our lie to be put on others. I suppose few adults have avoided grossly misunderstanding or being misunderstood. Likely we’ve all been severely misjudged along the way, too. We hate it when we’re misunderstood. We think little of seriously discerning whether or not we’re properly understanding others though. Especially motives. Like the parents suing the city. There’s wisdom in following the evidence. What do people do? What and how do they say it? What can we know to be TRUE? The woman who vows to be a good wife and mother may sound credible. But when we see her drunken, promiscuous behavior another picture unfolds. The truth. No matter her claims we can discern by how she acts – the choices she makes – that she’s not what she claims to be. It may not explain why she does what she does. And over time she may be shown as a selfish, neglectful wife and mom. But she’s fabricated a narrative to make herself appear different. Better. Lovely. Faithful. Dutiful. Concerned. Which is it? Is it what she says, or what she does? YOU? What makes you worthy of companionship? What makes you a good friend? A good spouse? A good parent? A good grandparent? Words matter. Actions more. It’s interesting that when actions are wise and good, speech is congruent with the behavior. It’s when behavior and choices are sinful and selfish that the stories told don’t match up. Truth. A commitment to high standards of behavior. A determination to grow. A willingness to make wrongs right. A humility to accept responsibility. A courage to change and improve. A resistance against pointing fingers. A bravery to look in the mirror and see ourselves more clearly. It all starts here. With us. You. Me. The path forward to provide value to others starts with making ourselves valuable by behaving more wisely. It’s hard work. Arduous. Daunting sometimes. Often troubling as we stare down our demons. “Who you are tomorrow begins with what you do today.”    ― Tim Fargo We have to conquer ourselves, not others. Romans chapter 7 22 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: 23 but I see a different law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity under the law of sin which is in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me out of the body of this death? 25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then I of myself with the mind, indeed, serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin. The key to improving our companionship skills is to get busy with our minds, which drives our behavior. Whether you serve God Jehovah or something or somebody else, that’s for you to decide. But we’re all serving somebody. Things go wrong when we serve ourselves. That makes us poor companions. It destroys our influence to help others. It diminishes our value, resulting in a loss for everybody, most especially us! “You don’t know how it feels…to be me.”   -Tom Petty Or do you? We share more than we may think. Especially in the battle to become better humans. Some of us are fighting hard. Others, not at all. It’s the difference in keeping good company or not. 1 Corinthians 15:33 “Be not deceived: Evil companionships corrupt good morals.” And there it is. Our companionship with others can be good or evil. The companionship we choose to surround us can be good or evil. We get to decide the kind of companion we’ll be and the kind of companions we want to be around. Companionship isn’t about perfection. It’s about a few critical things. Caring. Both of you care deeply about each other. Understanding. Both of you are committed to understanding each other as fully as possible. Belief. Both of you believe in each other. Encouragement. Both of you provide the encouragement necessary so each of you can grow individually and together. Compassion. It’s a focus on others – you both remain focused on helping each other. Grace. When you get it wrong, both of you are determined to make it right because the relationship is that important to you both.   Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

  In 1982 I stood in front of a group of employees of the retail company I was running to tell them, “Who would have thought we’d reach a time when saying “please” and “thank you,” “sir” and “ma’am” would be a competitive edge?” That was then. This is now. Superior customer service is rare. That means the opportunities are extraordinary! Seize the day. Abel seized the day. Here’s his story, as posted on my Facebook profile. Abel with Schlotzsky’s in Grapevine, Texas Schlotzsky’s Grand Prairie, Texas Is Today’s Customer Service HORROR Story (Small Hill Drive location) Rhonda placed an order via the app (something she’s done with great frequency). Location: Grapevine, Texas. Problem: during checkout, the app encountered a problem with her saved credit card requiring that it be re-entered. Done. Order placed. Problem #2: during that payment problem evidently the order location changed from Grapevine to Grand Prairie. She didn’t notice that until we were in the drive-through of the Grapevine location. She explained the problem and they politely said, “No problem. Just call them to get a refund and we’ll make the sandwiches here.” So we pulled into a parking spot to call Grand Prairie. She explained the problem and as they seemed to be helping her the connection went dead. I suspect they hung up on her (she was on the speakerphone). She dialed back. Explained it again, but this time it was a different person. “No, we’ve already made the sandwiches. No refund!” (Do this in the voice/tone of the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld and you’ll be dangerously close to the sound of this man on the phone). She asked for the manager. “I am the manager.” I took the phone to ply my powers of persuasion but without success. The Sandwich Nazi wasn’t going to bend an inch. This $22 transaction was more meaningful than a long-time customer. I entered the Grapevine store to see what I could do. A pleasant gentleman behind the counter was taking orders. I was 3rd in line. Immediately I thought, “This store isn’t run by the same folks that operate Grand Prairie.” Turns out, I was right. As I explained our quandary, the gentleman said, “Oh yeah, you were just in the drive-through.” I told him Grand Prairie refused to issue a refund. He was shocked. I asked what I could do. He asked me what we ordered and I told him. He punched it into his computer and said, “I got you.” No, no, no – that wasn’t the solution I was looking for and I insisted on paying. “No,” he insisted, “I got you.” I thanked him and told him I was going to share this story. I gave him my business card, took a quick selfie as he handed me the order, gave him a bro hug, and thanked him asking, “What’s your name?” I’m pretty sure he said, “Able.” If not, I apologize. It was busy and I didn’t want to detain him. Schlotzsky’s in Grand Prairie – Small Hill Drive – boos and hisses to your ownership and management for pathetic customer services Schlotzsky’s in Grapevine – kudos and salutes to your ownership and management for stepping up to do the right thing. A special shout-out to the gentleman in the picture. He understands how to be excellent! NOTE: Abel is his name! Hours later and I’m still very impressed with this man. Visit Abel and his staff at the Schlotzsky’s in Grapevine, Texas and tell them you saw this post. Pursue excellence. Chase consistency in that excellence. Do it in your professional life. Do it in your personal life. There are opportunities everywhere! Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

Sloping seems more gentle than stumbling. And graceful. But when it comes to growing older it can be inaccurate. We don’t slope toward a face plant. We stumble. We fall. Face-first into the ground. “Everywhere I look I see opportunities,” I said. The conversation was about how we see the world and our place. Me? I have lived life trying to take various hills. Then quickly seeking out a new hill to take. Sometimes the hill is simply making it better. Always making it better – or trying to – is the curse of my mind. As I approach the beginning of my 67th year on the earth I know the end began on day one. Growing up, children only think about the present or the future. Age urges us to focus on the future and we increasingly lose track of the present. Today wasn’t great, but tomorrow will be better. Until we realize our past is larger than our prospective future, which prompts us to remember. Old people don’t tend to talk about the future, but they rehearse – often with boring repetition – the past. In the future, I’m liable to be guilty of the same behavior even though I hate it. I hope to avoid doing it. The end has begun. The end of many things has begun, sparking the beginning of others. Experience, not age, has taught me how little I know. And how far I have to go to reach my ideal outcome. Mostly, that ideal outcome is me. Not in some self-centered way, but in the sense that all I will ever contribute to the world is myself. Being my best self. Nothing else matters. My impact – whatever it may be – is all any of us have to offer. It’s not a minimal thing either. It’s massive. More so for some than others because our talents, drives, ambitions, and opportunities aren’t equal. There’s also luck. Mark Cuban remarked that luck was the difference between him being a millionaire and a billionaire. So it goes. I feel like I’ve grown. Evidence shows it’s somewhat true. Never mind that some likely view me in light of the worst chapters – or sentences – I’ve written. Everybody can make up their mind about me, or anybody else. And they do. My days are spent focused on other people’s lives. Largely on their professional challenges and opportunities. Sometimes the focus is solely on their personal lives because what ails them is deeply personal. Challenges come from all angles. Oportunities, too. The drive to make a difference is always the hill I’m trying to take. The methodology is asking questions. I figure things out by asking questions. Asking questions provides answers. Questioning answers clarifies existing answers. The focus isn’t on me, so the questions are aimed at helping others figure it out. After all, it’s not mine to figure out. It’s a deep version of the old TV show, “This Is Your Life.” It’s not my life. I have my stuff to figure out. It’s only about me so I can better understand, ask better questions, and improve at helping others figure things out. Relationships. Careers. Faith. Financial circumstances. Habits. Beliefs. Choices. Behaviors. Skills. Abilities. Perspectives. Hobbies. Preferences. Everything is subject to change. Everything decays. Decay starts at the beginning and continues until the end. But Eternity changes everything because according to God’s Word, Heaven has no decay. Hell doesn’t either. Bliss or torture without interruption. That’s not how life on earth works. Bliss, happiness, joy, peace – they’re all interrupted by decay. Each has enemies that disturb or destroy. Our lives are subject to change because other people have choices that can interrupt our choices and preferences. Some years ago I had different goals and dreams than I had just a handful of years ago. The changes in my goals were driven by the choices others made, which compelled me to change my mind as I tried to figure out my best path forward. It happens. To all of us. Those folks who enjoy blaming God for all the mishaps or misfortune in the world fail to realize we’re humans able to make up our minds. Our decisions impact the world around us. It’s not always good because we don’t always make wise choices. Our selfishness and sin take a toll on the world. We help create destruction, pain, sorrow, sadness, and damage. We all can bring our foolishness to an end. At least we can begin the end of our foolishness. That doesn’t mean we can begin the end of everybody else’s foolishness. Since the point of this podcast has always been – and remains – an intentional leaning toward wisdom, I’m urging us to put in the work to get started ending our foolishness. Then keep working on it because foolishness is just around the corner in every decision we make – large or minute. And our choices will impact and influence everybody around us – and the world. Relationships / Personal Work / Professional There are beginnings and endings in all areas of our life. NOTE: My mom passed from this life at 2:58am today, April 4, 2024. She was a couple of months shy of turning 92. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

February 1974, Baton Rouge. Near the entrance to Louisiana State University. A record store, my favorite hang out. Leisure Landing. I enter the store and a record is playing. It’s alt-country. Weird. Because the guy’s name is Ian Matthews. Ian isn’t a southern United States name. I grab the album cover and begin to read the back. Two players who I already admire are on this record. Jeff “Skunk” Baxter of Steely Dan fame and David Lindley of Jackson Browne fame. I love both of these guys. I’m enjoying this record. Ian is an Englishman playing alternative country, folksy tunes. Some days you eat the bear… Some days the bear eats you. I’ve never heard this artist before. I’ve never heard this phrase before either. But I’m street smart and quickly discern it means, “Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.” That’s today’s show. A new episode from inside The Yellow Studio 4.0. Enjoy! Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me

“The only way to learn how many plates you can spin is to break some plates. The question of capacity guarantees failure.”        – T.S. Elliot He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.  – Jim Elliot (no relation to T.S. that I’m aware of) I’m not a plate-spinner. I am able to multi-task, but it’s not actually multi-tasking at all. It’s really intense focus on a single thing with enough speed to get a number of things accomplished over a short period. That makes it look like multi-tasking. Themes of the week have been: Self-control or self-regulation – manifested in the struggles people have with porn addiction, marital infidelity, alcohol, work, parenting, unruly children, loneliness and more Capacity and resources – what’s our limit? Congruency – frustration in hearing people (often bosses) say one thing, but do something completely different Failing to figure out how or where we fit – not understanding why or how we’re making a difference / wondering if we are I’ve got too much going on – too many irons in the fire. I’m working on it and I’ll share more. Please tell a friend about the podcast! • Join our private Facebook group • Email me Help Me Reach My $1,000 Goal I plan to start vlogging from Hot Springs Village, Arkansas because the place is spectacular. The scenery will make for a great backdrop. Plus, there are many places I’d like you to see. To help, click the link (or the image below) to donate any amount you’d like. Amazon Gift Certificates (use [email protected]). Thank you!