Life is Bullshit

A reunion episode with the whole gang, a bunch of whom you probably forgot were ever on the podcast, if you're still out there listening at all. Hopefully it won't be so long between episodes again, but hoping only counts in hockey and hand grenades, or something.Download Episode 61

When you know how a word is supposed to be pronounced, but you pronounce it incorrectly because you don't want to sound like an asshole. Also, ways to find out if you have sleep apneia, and how to get a prescription for a special mask.Download Episode 59Music by Bryan Den Hartog_

Chocolate, Pizza, restaurant concepts, Fast Food, heated plates. We also ask the big question: Which is better, sex or laughter? The answer will astound you!Download Episode 58Music by Bryan den Hartog_

Download Episode 57Short episode, 2 months late, not much else to say. Henry's getting fat, Mark is getting drunk, Juan is getting off the pot, but NOT before he does his business. Also: Who will be the First Celebrity to Die in 2011? Our predictions, and more, this episode.Music by Bryan Den Hartog_

Download Episode 56Reheating vs Cooking the first time, Mark Yells at a Homeless Person, and a DELIVERY RACE: US vs Thailand!!! What nation will emerge as the world's only superpower?Music by Bryan den Hartog_

Mark, Henry, and Erika ramble on about some such nonsense about Kanye West's new teeth, their own teeth, and kids turning into cartoons. Juan and Bethany haven't been on the podcast in a while, but they are still around, and will be back soon!Here's the episode:Download Episode 55And here's some other stuff:Kanye West gets Diamond Teeth!One of you doubted me...A collection of children "turning into cartoons," whatever that really means:Freezing Frog Will Protect Your Garden!Music by Bryan Den Hartog_

Another, much longer impression contest is held. You might find it equally funny and uncomfortable, or maybe just uncomfortable. But stick around, because later Erika will teach us to dance!Download Episode 54Stacey from your French class is over here, just hanging out, waiting for you to write us a review on iTunes, so that we can invite you to our birthday party to meet her.Music by Bryan den Hartog_

Chicken and Waffles, sounds you can’t stand, flash top 5 lists. If this is your first time, go elsewhere because this one's kind of boring. But the next one will probably be good. The fast top 5 lists part of this one is okay.Download Episode 53Baklava, Balaclava, Balalaika, not necessarily in that order.Music by Bryan Den Hartog

Bathroom habits: Europe vs America, and a little bit of Japan for good measure! Also: Who Drank Who Under the Table?Download Episode 52ALSOin an effort to broaden our listenership, this episode is also available on YouTube, which, as you all know, can be embedded on Facebook pages and other websites (you'd think independent audio files could be too, but apparently we haven't reached that level of technology.) Anyway, here's about 15 minutes worth of what you'd get normally, because that's the longest that can go on Youtube. Embed away! Tell everybody, kids!Music by Bryan Den Hartog

The continuation of an earlier episode (because the recording was such a comedy goldmine!) finds the crew discussing bivouacs, super heroes, and a little bit more on pterodactyl porn. But the bulk of the discussion centers on beleaguered German polar bear Knut, and whether he is the cutest thing in existence, or just the cutest bear in existence.Download Episode 51 pt2Wikipedia results for the word "Bivouac"The opposing ends of the cute/ugly spectrumKnut, der IST ein kuschelbarAnd the line "I'm your new foster father," is of course from the movie About Schmidt, but the version Mark and Henry are quoting comes by way of this classic gem:Music by Bryan Den Hartog_

This episode is so long we had to pull a King Solomon and cut it in half. Expect the second half later this week!Henry's new "girlfriend" joins to discuss, what else, animals, sex, and food. Download Episode 51Mark's Comic that all of Brown is still Raving AboutHenry's Comic that Nobody at Brown has ever Heard OfPterodactyl Pronunciation GuidePterodactyl Porn: NSFW (NOT SAFE FOR WORK) Watch at Your Own RISK!!!!1! This Actually is a link to Hot Human-on-Prehistoric Beast Action (all actors over 65 Million Years Old)Music by Bryan Den Hartog_

The title pretty much says it all. This episode is out of order, because Mark was drunk enough to have forgotten that he recorded it altogether. Mark was also fairly drunk when he edited this episode, and when he wrote this thing you're reading right now. The point is he can't really remember what happened this episode, but it might've been kind of funny.The one thing is it takes place before Henry went on his first date with the girl he's now been on several more dates with, and has referred to it on an earlier episode.Download Episode 50The following things appeared to Mark in a drunken stupor and may or may not have happened within the conversation:Either Mark in a previous life, or Juan after Henry wakes him upKnox Harrington, the Video Artist:Turns out The Air up There already had a perfect poster:But MAN did Mr. Holland Opus benefit from a new one:Music by Bryan Den Hartog_

"How 'bout a kiss, Santy Claus?"Why quote Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman? Because:BETHANY RETURNS!I guess she was in the last episode too but she's ESPECIALLY in this episode. We talk about cringeworthy audience experiences, hacemos un sección en español, and find out if We Need to Grow A Pair. Listen to the episode to find out if we do!Download Episode 49And how 'bout that kiss?Music by Bryan Den Hartog

The name of the game this episode is intoxicants. Henry had a bad experience with a batch of tiny brownies, and Mark does whip-its in the back of the coffee shop, whenever he’s not beating it, that is. Then we write a review of our own podcast, with disastrous consequences! Other topics include: ShoutOuts and Rejects! and What god would you be? Also: Bethany Returns!Download Episode 48Here are a bunch of pictures!Henry's Total Recall PosterMary from Aesop's Fable, pictured here with son JakeHades kidnapping some dude's girlfriendBaccusLokiQuetzalcoatl in Human FormQuetzalcoatl in badass regular form"Gov'ment do take a bite, don't they" (that line, and the Polack joke, not actually featured in this clip)Music by Bryan Den Hartog_

If you google "Chinstrap" with SafeSearch ONThe first thing to know is that the title has almost nothing to do with the episode. Someone says it at one point in the episode. But all the other episode titles slept through their alarms this morning, and I Am Lunchables was the only one that showed up.Mark and Henry argue about Paranormal Activity, and then Mark tries to get Henry to deliver some important documents. Henry ponders a life decision. Juan coins a term for the sandwich sensation that's sweeping the nation.Download Episode 47If you google chinstrap with SafeSearch OFF (We'll let you do it yourself for the full effect. (You may have to add "dildo" after the word "chinstrap."( Actually you can probably just imagine what it looks like.)))Music by Bryan Den Hartog!!!!!!!_

"On the Way to Five Guys" - the Picture of Henry that's got All of America Talking!Download Episode 46The first half of the recording is talking about things that appear one way and act the opposite way, the second half is about finding a new pair of shoes for Mark online. At one point Alison sneezes and no one says bless you. If any of those things sounds interesting, then this is the episode for YOU!!!Music by Bryan Den Hartog

Download Episode 45Mark sets up an OkCupid profile, to the horror of women nationwide. Also Juan manipulates Mark and Henry over the airwaves. This one's a two parter, but both parts are included in this one episode so don't you worry about that one iota.Original Profile"Corrected" ProfileMusic by Bryan Den Hartog_

Download Episode 44We get to the bottom of our uncontrollable rages, and get a more in-depth story behind Henry's car getting boosted for a joyride.I can't remember what else we talked about this episode, so here's a trailer for Carrie 2: The Rage:Music by Bryan Den Hartog

Download Episode 43Juan "bums us out", discuss greatest fears, the base-running system, what occupation do you most desire sexually, and an old timey comedy bit. Also, find out how you can receive a check for $1!!!Notes and Errata:I couldn't find the actual clip, so but here's another example of someone reenacting the Pie scene from Stephen King's "Thinner" (Sploier alrets for Stephen King's Thinner)Go to 7:37Another thing that was reenacted. They just don't make them like they used to!Mary Elizabeth ASStrantonioMusic by Bryan Den Hartog_

Download Episode 42A lot of time is spent trying to write a joke, wherein Mark and Juan recall other jokes they can remember and don't really write anything. Also Mark tries to buy Henry a plane ticket, and apathy ensues!Music by Bryan Den Hartog_

Download Episode 41Probably the macabrest episode yet, we talk about scars, then what should be done with our bodies when we die, and some other topic I forget right now. Also, the shortest episode description ever!And no pictures!

Download Episode 40Henry flirts with a guy he's playing StarCraft with, we play Devil's Advocate and Sweet Talk the listener. Also we went on Henry's OkCupid profile to try and find a lady for him, with mixed results. The title of this episode is supposed to look like a pair of breasts. Listen to find out how to make this image on your home computer!Music by Bryan Den Hartog.

Download Episode 39This episode is a regular global village...of PIZZA!!!Care to follow along?Bethany's AuditionJuan's AuditionHenry's AuditionJuan's CallbackHenry's CallbackLife is Bullscript!Pizza de Abogado?Music by Bryan Den Hartog

Once there was a boy named Henry who had a hangover from the RollerDerby AfterParty and wanted to order some food to try to make himself feel better, so he called his friends Mark and Bethany and Eric to help him decide what to get. In the meantime, they talked about the Magic School Bus. And eventually Juan showed up.Download Episode 38Which one's the REAL Samuel L. Jackson?We'd like to see her teaching credentials.The best Protoss Unit?Music by Bryan Den Hartog.