Loopers

Maria, Marris, and Michael discuss the viral Lineman Mike clip and what it means to be married. I know. Serious stuff. We feel weird too. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Maria, Marris, and Mikey talk Valentine's Day and ADHD. They're also very stupid while they do that. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Maria, Marris, and Michael go from Chicago winter, to beaches, to country music with a lot of bullshitting in between. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

The filthy heathens discuss John Cougar Mellencamp, authentic friendship, and cake farts. Obviously. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

The Trio of Buffoons discuss a potential luxury hotel on the moon. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Maria, Marris, and Michael are discussing the Brittany Furlan and Ronnie Radke catfishing situation since it won't fucking die. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

The gang covers their Christmas plans and traditions. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

The gang is hosting the Chicago Thanksgiving Parade again this year. Good idea to pregame that broadcast. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

The gang gets into their radio origin stories. James, if you're listening, I know this episode makes it sound like you're the best boss ever, but let's cool it with the ego. You're fine. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Maria's socked feet, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Tortoises, porn, and sticks.What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

For the first time in Loopers history, the gang stays on topic. Yay sports. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Special guest Alex Murray from Twenty Sided Tavern teaches Maria, Marris, and Michael how to play DnD so when they do it on the Morning Mosh Pit they don't fuck it up.What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Special guest Chad the Bird joins the bucket of imbeciles this week to add just that much more chaos. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

We discuss Marris and Michael's wrong opinions on the classic movie The Princess Bride, Marris tells us about his carnival days, and Maria tries not to commit a double homicide. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Special guest Alex regales us with stories of a younger, spryer, drunker Maria. The boys tell their stories. We fuck with Marris. Ya know the drill.What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Maria, Marris, and Michael discuss putting the Neuralink in kids and trains. Neuralink and trains. Trains and Neuralinks. Idk man it's Friday I'm tired. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Maria discusses her cat, Michael and Marris get gross about Syndey Sweeney, you lose brain cells while listening. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Mikey's wrinkled shirts, Marris' bachelor parties, Maria's weirdness. It's everything you could ever imagine.What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

We really just bitch and moan about dating in this one. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Our blackout stories (and possible future plans), TSA nightmares, and fart physics. Ya know, the normal stupid stuff. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Sundresses, Dogs vs Partners, Moon bases, Culver's Marathon, Cooking, Michael is a giraffe, and other shenanigans. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

This may be the most toned down episode of Loopers you ever get. Also, maybe don't select your spouse at age 14. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

I would like to recognize that I posted this late and yes the episode has been on YT for quite some time but I would like to further remind you that I am bad at my job.What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

The MoshPitatoes discuss their respective 21st birthday parties. Marris is reasonable. Maria is chaotic. Michael farts into the microphone. The usualWhat are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

The crew agrees Maria has never taken over a meeting, Marris concedes that Maria is right about bears, Michael isn't annoying, and other lies we could tell you in the description box.What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Mushroom coffins, Kevin Spacey,Tug of War, Michael and Marris clearly want to destroy the environment but luckily Maria will save us all and probably make it really funny cuz wow she is so cool and pretty and no one has the power to contradict her in this description blurb. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Megan Fox's Career Comeback, Middle Aged Kids' Shows, Megan Fox, oh my god I said "Pokemons" as if that's the correct plural form, it's not, the plural of "Pokemon" is simply "Pokemon," like "moose," Megan Fox, pornstar sounds, Megan Fox, IKEA furniture, Megan Fox, Phone Alarms, Megan FoxWhat are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

We back. Michael joins into ye olde chaosWhat are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

I'll get sappy about all these life changes at some point. Not now, we gotta discuss Robert Redford-Maria PalmerWhat are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Daylight Saving Time, Cane's, Thanksgiving Jingle, Cole Slaw is objectively good and Marris if you're reading this, you're a slawless monster. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Emo, Chicago Thanksgiving Parade, ADHD, some other stuff that I didn't include cuz I zoned out while I was editing cuz I have ADHDWhat are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Pre-Purge anticipation, musical theatre, videogames, typical Maria and Marris sibling-style conflict, Chicago's Thanksgiving Parade, the works.What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Maria's New Phone, Brown Bear vs Grizzly, international trips, extracurriculars, Hippos, up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, AWhat are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Lollapalooza '24 recap, Chappell Roan, sheveled, racist Pokemon, international trips, sucky dating apps, Jojo, shenanigans, and tomfoolery. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Maria got the Golden Gumball, which means a trip to anywhere in the world. Probably Tanzania. Specifically to annoy Marris.What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Maria's Trip to Lake County, Marris Needs Glasses, Terrible Parenting Advice, Alien Metal, African Land Snails, Marris' Bathroom Emergency, the typical stupidity you've come to know and... I was gonna say "love" but let's be realistic. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Maria and Marris struggle through the sleepiness and attempt not to make any unintentional innuendo. Guess how that turns out. What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Special guest Ashley O'Dell fills in for Marris Harris Girls' Girl to discuss hotdogs, the mysterious Mel's Hole, and the terror of being Maria's real life friend.What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Salt Shed Karaoke, Music Discovery, Neopets, Dave Grohl vs Taylor Swift, Renn Faire, Hijinks, Weirdness, You're Still Reading, Why Are You Still Reading, Just Listen to the PodcastWhat are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Burpy Princess, Ancient Wines, Porn Morality, the general chaos you've come to know and love from Maria and MarrisWhat are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Well... "stars" might be a reach. But we were victimized by Video nonetheless. (aka, when you hear us mention being a YouTube, we are accidentally lying. Not this episode. But we're getting closer!! Ok this is getting to be a little much for parentheses. Sorry for whispering in your head this long.)What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Shinedown, Vibraslap, TSwizzle Pregnancy Rumors, Legit Nepo Babies, Steven Tyler's Creepiness, Billionaire Hullaballoo and generalized shooting of the shit between Maria Palmer and Marris Harris Girls' GirlWhat are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Or Harrison Butker, whatever his name is. He's discussed, Star Wars milking, shows that got ruined by streaming, Marris gets worried he'll be replaced by the smooth-talking Brit from last week, Maria tries to comfort him with a sincere moment... you'll hear how that turns out.What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

C2E2 Recap, Minor League Baseball, Whoopi Goldberg, the Roast of Tom Brady, Broadway, Lying AI, and Marris won't get off his fucking phone.What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Are Aliens Smarter than Us? C2E2, Spraying Axe on Sheep, MTV and VH1What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Look, we talk a lot, we flit from topic to topic, but ultimately this episode is about how fuckable the Ninja Turtles are (very).What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

The Fratellis, Poptart wars, Monarchy/Kardashians comparisons, the Lollapalooza Lineup, this episode has it all! And more!! and then even more until you kind of want it to stop. AND THEN MORE.What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Maria and Marris talk atheltics, hentai, crabs. Ya know, the general chaos.What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

Wtf is Girly Pop? and Gaslighting? Also Maria continues her fight with Marris' objectively bitchy car. But the best part of this podcast is truly the last 10 minutes where Hinder meets kazoo.What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here. 

After being driven to the brink of insanity due to Covid, Maria is nothing short of giddy to talk to Marris Harris Girls' Girl in this week's episode. And continues her stupid habit of saying "first of all" multiple times, but never following up with a second or third point.What are you looking at? I'm not paid enough to put shit here.