PODCAST · comedy
Master Bastard
by MasterBastard.com
Four aging, life-long friends and adversaries fend off the ordinary through the poetry of the profane. From potty humor to funeral home funnies, the Bastards don't just slaughter the sacred cow, they have sex with it first. It takes a real Bastard to laugh at another's suffering. But to laugh at the suffering of your closest friends, it takes something more. A Master Bastard.
Episodes
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Master Bastard #238 - Unemployed Eye
The Bastards are back! Where did they go? Nowhere! They fill you in on their adventures, treasures, tragedies and Sir Chapsworth makes sex noises. Classtard!
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Master Bastard #237 - Battle Gravy
The Bastards are back with another episode that Terlet took his time on editing. This episode is chock full of all the steaming filth that you’ve come to expect and adore. Lotion up your Ladybugs and get ready to get filled with podcasty goodness. Classtard!
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Master Bastard #236 - Self-Admiration Masturbation
Well well, the Bastards are back… Surprised? Confused? Titillated? Good, those are all positive feelings to associate with this podcast. Why not lay back and breath deep… just breath in… and out… in… and out. Isn’t that nice? Do you feel relaxed? Good, good. Why not take of those tight pants?…
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Master Bastard #234 - Rawdogging Prostitutes
The Bastards are back and they love to snack! Terlet briefly tests the Bastard’s ASMR waters and celebrity death is discussed, heavily. Get a grip of those Classtardy hips and give em a tush push!
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Master Bastard #233 - Back In The Bucket
The Bastards are back. Isn’t that nice? Lot’s of passionate pandemic palaver is peppered with paltry penile prattle. You know, the usual. Classtard.
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Master Bastard #232 - My Favorite Apocalypse
The Bastards are back! You thought/hoped we were done, but you were wrong! Do you feel stupid now? You should, you dumbass… The Bastards pick new Celebrity Death Pools and chat about their favorite potential apolcalypses… Apocalypsi? Classtard!
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Master Bastard #231 - The Erotikon
Trooper is back and he brought gifts! The Bastards chat and then play a very visual online game. Just skip the last 20 minutes unless you love Audio Gold! Classtard! Get your hot, Classtard, here!!
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Master Bastard #230 - Marvin Pansexual
The Bastards take a belated dive into the trailers from San Diego Comic Con 2019. Their rundown is constantly interrupted by argument based side quests and long kept secret revelations. I Classtard my pants.
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Master Bastard #229 - Foamy Ravioli
The Bastards talk about Bullet Head, boozing and renaissance art. Then they chatter on about the woes of Olde English 800 diarrhea. Terlet gets annoyed with the random topic shifting, shame and shouting ensues. Classtard.
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Master Bastard #228 - Water Babies Of Massacre Rocks
The Bastards bring that new hotness. Do people still say that? Is New Hotness now the Old Hotness? Is Old Hotness now cool? Is cool still cool? Terlet gets drunk on Olde E and shrieks… a lot. There is buckets of fight sports, urban legends and the general chatter that you know and tolerate....
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Master Bastard #227 - Nothing But Road Problems
The Bastards chat about the wonders of home ownership and yard maintenance. Then it’s limericks, misogyny, and bit of bagel guy. We’ve got buckets of Classtard, go ahead and grab a gooey handful.
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Master Bastard #226 - Cottage Cheese
Hamtackle likes sports! Did you know that? Well, he does. Hamtackle can talk about sports without warning, at any moment. Fight sports! Ball sports! Almost any kind of sports! SPORTS! SPORTS! SPORTS! SPORTS! SPORTS! SPORTS! SPORTS! SPORTS! SPORTS! SPORTS! Classtard, if there is time for it with…
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Master Bastard #225 - Rucksack Randall
The Bastards talk about the movie “Get Carter”. The Michael Caine one, not the Stallone one. They get all creative with limericks and dream journals. Then it’s time to discuss Sean Penn’s performance in “I am Sam”. Insensitivity, ahoy!! Classtard.
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Master Bastard #224 - Quality Champion
The Bastards are back and they love ice cream. The full hour is the sounds of spoon licking and bowl clinking. Did someone say Sprinkles? Fuck, yes. Thatsa spicy Classtard!
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Master Bastard #223 - Fat Men, Rejoice!
Star Trek, birthmarks, painful death, grandpa compost and SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS! That’s Classtard.
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Master Bastard #222 - Bat Skin
The Bastards talk about the 10 Commandments of Office Etiquette. They chat about the Picard Star Trek show, read an article about a man who ate pasta, belligerently. While discussing a porn video game, they discover that Sir Chapsworth has never heard of hentai. They watch hentai. Classtard.
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Master Bastard #221 - Muscle House
The Bastards get real luscious. Like draped in taffeta, eating pealed grapes kind of luscious. They spoil the Chinese blockbuster, The Wandering Earth, chat about Mickey Rooney and his moist casting couch, review the 2019 Death Pool and a bunch of other garbage. If succulence was a man it would…
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Master Bastard #220 - Escalating With Abandon
The Bastards try to pick which actors resemble each other. It ends up as you would expect with people getting offended. Terlet fat shames, Sir Chapsworth gurgles, Hamtackle argues and Ramtang looks like Josh Hartnett. You’re telling me that that that… that shot of Angel Batista you have there...
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Master Bastard #219 - The Juke
Strap on your pleasure bag, the Bastards are back from their break and boy are the boisterous! Sports, birthday surprises, video games and Facebook fills most the conversation. Take it, rub it, lick it and stuff it. That’s Classtard…
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Master Bastard #218 - Dummy Thicc
The Bastards are handsome, strong, wise and kind. The Bastards represent love and charity. The Bastards don’t require your adoration even though they are deserving of it. Don’t let your unflinching reverence of the Bastards interfere with responsibilities. Plop Plop. Who’s there? Classtard....
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Master Bastard #217 - Rapper Talent Tournament 2019 - Part 2
It’s part 2 of the Master Bastard Rapper Talent Tournament 2019! You must be wondering “How can they pick a champion with such a crowded field of rapping talent?” Well we do, get over it. Classtard!
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Master Bastard #216 - Rapper Talent Tournament 2019 - Part I
It’s big, it’s bad and it’s back!! March Madness mean it’s time for talent! Musical talent! It’s time once again for the Master Bastard Rapper Talent Tournament 2019! Open wide for steaming spoonfuls of white men critiquing absurd, popular and/or terrible rap. Viva Classtard!
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Master Bastard #215 - I Think I'm Satisfied
Oh, them Bastards… Donatello Dona-tells us all about guns and ammo. There is a ton of really bad, old music. We consult the stars and review Ramtang’s horoscope. Celebrities are slandered and future movies are discussed. All this and generous amounts of general insensitivity. Classtard.
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Master Bastard #214 - Trucker Babes
Donatello is back with tales of wonder from around the world! There is also sandwich rats, German pizza, video games, Horny For Horner and jingles, jingles galore!
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Master Bastard #213 - Prime Rib Night
The Bastards are back and boy are they blah blah blah. There is stuff and they talk about things. Arguments? Yeah, there is a lot of those. Did somebody request awful radio sounds? No? Oh well. Somebody says something insensitive and somebody else overreacts. I can has Classtard?
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Master Bastard #212 - Reproductive Steam Seat
Baby Love the cherub is back and boy does he have love to spread! This adorable cupid will win your heart with his cute antics and chubby cheeks. But if those don't work, he could always force your affection with his love arrows! Oh, Baby Love... You're my best friend. Happy Classtard!
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Master Bastard #211 - Butt Stuff
The Bastards chat about buckets of upsetting topics. Terrible rappers, terrible rapists, poop games and light suicide discouragement. Don't cry in your classtard!
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Master Bastard #210 - You Are Great
Enter the world of "Willow." Journey to the far corners of your imagination, to a land of myth and magic, where dream and reality live side by side ... to a place that never existed, a time that never was. It is a world where a young man named Willow lives out an adventure that explodes beyond…
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Master Bastard #209 - The Strong Hand
The Bastards talk mostly and moistly about Barry Gordy's The Last Dragon. Get ready because when you feel like you're ready to go somewhere you've never been make a wish and the dream in you grows shining as bright as day carrying you far away the story begins with the light in your heart a…
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Master Bastard #208 - Water Boring
It’s just Hamtackle and Terlet. Face to face. Eye to eye. Tip to tip. They talk about Minecraft, a lot. Then they bore each other with topics that only interest one of them at a time. Classtard.
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Master Bastard #207 - Those Crotches
It’s a new year so it’s time for a new Celebrity Death Pool! The Bastards discuss upcoming movies, genital gangrene, eat grandma style hard candy, watch wrestling and read about pulling mucus and poop coated gauze out of your mouth. Happy New Classtard!
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Master Bastard #206 - Ho! Ho! Prostitute!
The Bastards gathered early and recorded a Christmas episode that was released late. I hope you aren't sick of Christmas music! Merry Classtard!
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Master Bastard #205 - The Blood Relative
The Bastards are back and boy are they shouty! There is Batardpiece Theatre, far too much Horny For Horner and an excruciating round of Mystery Guest. Classtard…
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Master Bastard #204 - Salted Caramel
Christmas has come early as Frank from GeeksAmok.com has provided our sweet, baby Bastards with the finest of toys! There is also limericks and ever so much witty banter! Oh, and tea! We drink hot chamomile tea, eat biscuits and take turns punching each other on the dick. All this and more on…
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Master Bastard #203 - Horny For Horner
The Bastards talk about stinking buttocks, kangaroo attacks, force field fails and cowboy video games. Then they’ll delight your ears by looking at pictures online. Classtard.
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Master Bastard #202 - Plain Oatmeal
Guess who's back, back again. Chap's back, tell a friend….if you have any. Heaping helpings of homemade cider! Bustling baskets of birthday gifts! Steaming sacks of sports talk! Leaking lumps of limericks! Then we over-explain an episode of Black Mirror. Classtard up that asstard!
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Master Bastard #200 Part 2 - Episode 201
The gimmick continues! The Bastards and special guests continue their adventures in the Mystery Machine under the cross eyed gun sights of Shimbles. Viva la Classtard!!
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Master Bastard #200 - Meddling Kids
The Bastards are back with their 200th episode! They are joined by two lovely ladies and one extra special seasonal character. Scrub all you want, that Classtard will not wash off!
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Master Bastard #199 - Horseshit & Blood
Sweet Sally O’Malley! The Bastards are back and scented of pumpkin spice! Trooper describes some of the worst fatalities he’s seen as a Trooper. Scatapults are constructed and tested. Gators are wrestled and then kissed. All this and whore! Classtard.
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Master Bastard #198 - Bonus Candy Corn
Trooper joins the Bastards for a four-man, greased bathtub experience. Gettin’ all glisteny and tumblin’ around making them animal sounds. There is also limericks, Black Mirror spoilers and lots of looking at dildos online. Classtard.
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Master Bastard #197 - America's Ghost Dad
William Henry Cosby Jr. is an American stand-up comedian, actor, musician, author, and convicted sex offender. He was also in Leonard Part 6! Classtard!
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Master Bastard #196 - Kentucky Woman
Sausage, robots, rappers and more! The Bastards get hot and heavy with eye contact and hand holding. Whatcha talkin’ bout Classtard?
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Master Bastard #195 - Oktoberfestering
The Bastards strap on their lederhosen, dust off their steins and prepare their bodies for ample sausage. It’s Oktoberfest and the Bastards are the Oktoberbest of buds. Prost!
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Master Bastard #194 - Sexy Jason Voorhees
The Bastards dive into some Bollywood Action, Ramtang reads the future, Terlet shows off his new skull, Hamtackle has a birthday, Star Trek talk and Sir Chapsworth makes audio gold by repeatedly drinking from an aluminum bottle full of ice. Classtard!
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Master Bastard #193 - Ascension Millennium
Listen along with the Bastards for some delightful Christian comedy followed by a full listening of Corey Feldman's Dance/Rock albums. We are negativity! Classtard.
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Master Bastard #192 - Scream Envy
Not Goldie!! Hot western action! The loudest monkey gets the grease! Cocka-too terrifying! Praise the Holy dinosaur! McCain! Ramtang believes in magic! Classtard!
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Master Bastard #191 - WARZONE!!
A team of ex-special forces soldiers on the lam from the military police (even though they didn't really commit the crime for which they'd been imprisoned) leaves a trail of explosions in its wake. But Hamtackle, Sir Chapsworth, Ramtang and Terlet always stop to help the little guy against some...
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Master Bastard #190 - Italian Profanity Explosion
The Bastards are back and full of beefy flavor! The boy gets a pet, the bastards are disappointed with a movie, porcine profanity and anybody can be a pilot! All this and less on this episode of Mhlasthdaard Buhlasthdaaard!!
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Master Bastard #189 - Whoroscopes
The Bastards are back and boy are they sassy! There's butter cream limericks, Battle Toads, mystic readings, Crapmus gifts and movie reviews. You better loosen that belt, you 'bout to get stuffed!! Classtard.
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Master Bastard #188 - The Master is Bastard!
Terlet inflicts game show goodness upon the Bastards with a spirited round of The Master is Bastard! It's the Price is Right for sex toys. Classtard, come on down!
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Four aging, life-long friends and adversaries fend off the ordinary through the poetry of the profane. From potty humor to funeral home funnies, the Bastards don't just slaughter the sacred cow, they have sex with it first. It takes a real Bastard to laugh at another's suffering. But to laugh at the suffering of your closest friends, it takes something more. A Master Bastard.
HOSTED BY
MasterBastard.com
CATEGORIES
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Master Bastard have?
Master Bastard currently has 100 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Master Bastard about?
Four aging, life-long friends and adversaries fend off the ordinary through the poetry of the profane. From potty humor to funeral home funnies, the Bastards don't just slaughter the sacred cow, they have sex with it first. It takes a real Bastard to laugh at another's suffering. But to laugh at...
How often does Master Bastard release new episodes?
Master Bastard has 100 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Master Bastard?
You can listen to Master Bastard on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Master Bastard?
Master Bastard is created and hosted by MasterBastard.com.
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