Matt D’Elia Is Confused
by Matt D'Elia
With guests that range from icons to outliers, host Matt D’Elia talks to anyone who can help him understand things that confuse him, make him laugh, or just plain trouble him. If you ever look out at the world and think “what the hell is happening?” then this podcast is for you.
Episodes
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Sunday Service™ | Pride Month In God’s Country
Happy Pride Month to all— even the asshead Christians who are extremely mad about the existence of Pride Month! Listen in as Pastor M. Diesel tackles homophobic pastors, breaks down the illogical anticipation Christians have for the always-coming but never-actually-arriving ‘rapture’, and...
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Sunday Service™ | Prayers & Praying
In today’s Sunday Service, Pastor M. Diesel examines the practice of praying— and finds that it does not require a rigorous examination to come to the conclusion that praying does not work at all ever under any circumstance! Listen now as Pastor M. breaks down all the ways in which praying is...
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Disagreements & Dumbness
In today’s episode Matt does his best to convince you that disagreeing is not only fun— but also life-affirming. Other topics include but are not limited to: the age of nonsense we are currently living through, some of the more nonsensical news stories and developments over the course of the past...
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Sunday Service™ | Civil Wars & Rods of Iron
Don’t pray— just hit play! ⛪️🙏🏽🙏🏾🙏🏿⛪️
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Sex Tapes & Lab Leaks
In today’s episode Matt covers a wide variety of topics, from Scott Stapp’s sex tape (and the implications thereof) to the possibility that COVID escaped from a lab (and the implications thereof). Enjoy!
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Sunday Service™ | Bad Metaphors & The Bicameral Mind
It’s that time again! ⛪️🙏🏼🙏🏽🙏🏾🙏🏿🛐
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Gross Advertising & The Age Of Insecurity
In today’s episode Matt touches on a wide range of topics, including but not limited to: the ‘me rn’ mugs that are FINALLY for sale at the MDIC merch store (weeeeeee!), his experience getting Vax Shot #2, some truly fucking disgusting advertising campaigns for ‘male grooming’ products— and in the...
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Sunday Service™ | Mean Christians & The Name ‘Todd’
In the name of the father, the son, and the holy podcast— AMEN! Rejoice, for this week’s Sunday Service™ with Pastor M. Diesel is upon us! 🙏🏼🙏🏽🙏🏾🙏🏿
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Vaccine Skepticism & Eric Clapton
This week’s MDIC, comin’ at ya— just in time for the weekend! As the title suggests, Matt covers what the conspiratorial anti-vax crowd is up to lately, Eric Clapton’s new shitty anti-lockdown song— and much more!
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Sunday Service™ | Prophecies & Meth
A particularly ungodly Sunday Service™ with Pastor M. Diesel!
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Old Movies & Anti-Vaxxers
In this episode Matt touches on a wide array of topics, including but not limited to: what it’s really like being M. Diesel, the importance of catchphrases, the genius of Little Richard, why Hollywood insists on remaking and rebooting movies instead of coming up with new ideas, why couples in old...
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Sunday Service™ | Blood Of Jesus!
Another Sunday Service™ with Pastor M. Diesel! Praise be! ⛪️🙏🏼🛐
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Algorithms & Virtue Signaling
Matt outlines a handful of things that have been confusing and / or upsetting him lately, including but not limited to: how / why the Apple News app is so terrible, how / why many major corporations could have (but did not) help us get through the pandemic faster and safer, how / why social media…
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Sunday Service™ | Baby Jesus & The Academy Awards
Another fresh Sunday Service™ for you! Full of insane prophets making insane prophecies, a literal breakdown of the supposed ‘immaculate conception’ of baby Jesus, and of course some bangin’ ass church music. Plus, at the end of the episode Matt covers the Oscars, why he didn’t see any of the...
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Sunday Service™ | Jesus Is A Friend Of Mine!
Another Sunday Service™! “The best Sunday Service™ yet!” — Matt D’Elia (aka Pastor M. Diesel)
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DMX & Khloe Kardashian
In this episode Matt touches on a wide range of topics, including but not limited to: DMX’s untimely passing, Khloe Kardashian’s run-in with the impossible beauty standards she has helped create, why all dogs should be at least a little fat, Yelp reviews and what they say about our immense...
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Sunday Service™ | Easter Edition
HE IS RISEN! Matt’s back with his second consecutive Sunday Service™, right on time for Easter. Celebrate this extremely holy day the right way... fuck church, listen now! 🙏🏼🙌🏼🙏🏼
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Sunday Service™ | The Return
HALLELUJAH, Sunday Service™ is back! 🙌🏼👼🏼🙌🏼
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Marijuana & Bruce Springsteen
In this episode Matt discusses the horrifying domestic terrorist attack that took place in Georgia earlier this week, and breaks down one of the major reasons there’s been such a massive uptick in hate crimes against Asian-Americans over the course of the last year. (Hint: the guy who coined the...
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Guilty Pleasures & The Royal Family
In this episode Matt examines the term ‘guilty pleasure’ and what people really mean when they say it, solves the age-old problem of two people faced with a decision that both people insist the other person should make, questions why anyone admires (or even cares about) the British monarchy...
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Flyin’ Ted & Mr. Potato Head
In this episode Matt rips into Lyin’ Ted Cruz, Matt’s least favorite living person, for running away to Cancun as a brutal snowstorm rocked the state of Texas. Then, after passionately eviscerating Flyin’ Ted Cancruz, Matt covers several other subjects as well, including but not limited to: Joel...
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Snow & 90s Music
In this episode Matt examines the effects 90s pop music had on the vulnerable minds of those coming of age at that time— while still finding a way to appreciate the music. Listen in as he breaks down the lyrics, deeper meanings, and longterm implications of some of that decade’s major hits— from...
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Tom Brady & Shaggy
In this episode Matt touches on a wide array of subjects, including but not limited to: the Super Bowl, Super Bowl commercials, people who love Super Bowl commercials, Tom Brady, John Travolta, the unbelievable assholery on display in Shaggy’s massive 2000 hit single ‘It Wasn’t Me’— as well as…
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Denzel Washington & Strasbourg’s Dancing Plague of 1518
In this episode Matt speaks at length about why Denzel Washington is the single greatest actor of all time despite consistently starring in truly horrendous films— and then provides a roadmap for how directors can make these movies less horrendous moving forward. Which opens up into a breakdown…
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Conspirituality & Its Discontents
Matt welcomes his first guest in several weeks— writer / philosopher Jules Evans. Jules has written extensively on ‘conspirituality’— the strange and in many ways unexpected convergence of the New Age cultural movement and the Far Right political movement— most notably his two recent and widely...
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Critical Thinking & Being A Homicide Detective
Matt recaps the weird but uneventful presidential inauguration, shares his feelings about all the people who said and *knew* “Joe Biden will never be president” as well as the many people who STILL say and *know* “Joe Biden will never be president”, and details his new career as a cool homicide...
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Negativity & Incoherence
In this episode Matt details his process of dealing with negativity, specifically negative feedback, then covers a few aspects of the madness we’ve seen unfold in Washington DC over the last several days, starting with the ‘insurrection’ or ‘coup’ or whatever you choose to call what happened on...
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Insane People & The Inevitable
Matt covers the batshit events that took place in Washington DC on January 6th, the insane and selfish people responsible for them, and the clear signs over the last few months that something exactly like this was going to happen.
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New Year’s Eve & Terrorism
In this episode Matt reflects on the unbelievably shitty year we all had, the desperately-needed money the government chose not to give us, and some of the absolutely batshit post-election rightwing conspiracy theories currently flying around on social media, including the ones concocted in...
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Tom Cruise’s Righteous COVID Rant & A Theory That We Are All Martians
In this episode Matt covers an even wider-than-usual range of topics, including but not limited to: Matt’s parents’ dog Lenny who fended off a coyote attack and bit off the coyote’s entire tail in the process, the possibility that we are all from Mars and thus Martians, Matt’s lifelong problem...
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Cooking Shows & Actors Deciding They’re Also Singers
In this episode Matt covers many topics, including but not limited to: actors who suddenly decide that they are also singers, Korean boy band sensation BTS’s depressing holiday rendition of their hit song ‘Dynamite’, Smokey Robinson’s Cameo video in which he mispronounces a word (which makes Matt...
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A Recipe For Seduction & The Least Confusing Event of 2020
In today’s episode Matt touches on a wider-than-usual range of topics, including but not limited to: the so-called ‘War on Christmas’ that doesn’t exist even though many American Christians insist it does, Donald Trump’s ongoing insistence that he won the 2020 election even though he for sure…
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Guys & Prophets
In this episode Matt breaks down some of the wrong things men do. The list is long. Matt gets mad as he goes point by point. Then in the second half of the episode he shits on evangelical Christian ‘prophets’, with audio clips to help drive his point home.
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Tucker Carlson & Aaron, The Guy Who Almost Ruined The Movie Matt Was Working On In Montana
Matt is back in Los Angeles! Weeeee! In this episode he talks about the guy who got COVID and almost ruined the entire movie he was working on in Montana. After detailing how much of an irresponsible asshole that guy is and how much Matt hates him, Matt covers a wide range of topics including but...
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Post-Election Recap & Dancing Like You Are Jerking Off Two Guys (Pt. 2)
Still holed up in a weird hotel in Montana, Matt covers the presidential election, breaks down Joe Biden’s weird victory, digs into the insanity that has ensued since Election Day— and forecasts the insanity that is still to come. He also makes up some very good brand new lyrics to The Village...
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Election Day 2020 & Dancing Like You Are Jerking Off Two Guys
In this special Election Day episode, Matt shares his feelings about voting, the election, the election’s potential outcomes, how to behave if the person you voted for wins, and how excited he is that the next time he sits (or lays) down to record an episode, the election will finally be over.…
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Bananas In The Butt & The Electoral College
Matt dedicates the first half of this episode to politics, covering topics such as what’s on Hunter Biden’s laptop, the third and final Trump / Biden debate, and the state of the 2020 presidential race with just over a week to go until Election Day. Later in the episode he moves on from politics…
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Jon Sternfeld | Unprepared
Writer Jon Sternfeld joins Matt to discuss his fascinating new book, ‘Unprepared: America In The Time Of Coronavirus’, which chronicles how the pandemic unfolded, chronologically and in the words of the people handling it — from the scientists to the doctors to the politicians — without any added...
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Columbus Day & The Church Of Trolling
In this episode Matt wades into the controversy over Columbus Day, tells us what Christopher Columbus the man was really like, and wonders how and why we could possibly still have a national holiday named after such a person. From there he gets into a few other topics, including but not limited…
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Joseph Stalin & The Fly At The Debate
In this episode Matt shows off his new Vin Diesel soundboard, tells us why the fly on Mike Pence’s head at the VP debate made him so happy, flies into a rage about Donald Trump’s propagandistic ‘medical exam’ on Fox News, and explodes with fury over a Portland mayoral candidate’s idiotic and...
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Joe Pesci’s Music & Donald Trump’s COVID-19
In this episode Matt breaks down Joe Pesci’s little-known musical career, reviews the absurd 1989 action film TANGO & CASH through the lens of 2020, tells us why he’s legally changing his name from ‘Matt D’Elia’ to ‘M. Diesel’, and — of course — gives you all the latest on Donald Trump’s COVID-19...
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Demented Disastrous Debacle Debate & More Vin Diesel
Matt covers the first presidential debate of 2020, which was a demented disastrous debacle. Also, in a continuation of Monday’s episode, Matt talks more about his new favorite person— Vin Diesel.
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Terrible Songs & Vin Diesel
In this episode Matt breaks down the recent history of terrible songs that have somehow captured the world’s ear, from ‘Dynamite’ to ‘The Macarena’, and explains his theory about how this has happened despite everyone knowing these songs are absolutely fucking terrible. From there he uncovers...
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Matthew McConaughey & The Supreme Court
In this episode Matt breaks down something so unbelievably and overwhelmingly confusing that it actually goes all the way back around again and becomes crystal clear: the hypocrisy on display in the current battle over the sudden vacancy on the Supreme Court. Later on, he covers a few other…
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‘Coastal Elites’ & ‘Save The Children’
In this episode Matt shares his feelings on the fires currently ravaging America’s west coast, the immediate politicization of them, and Donald Trump’s proudly / idiotically anti-science response to those in charge of trying to stop them. From there he dives into several other issues, including…
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Gender Reveal Parties & 9/11
In this episode Matt ruthlessly and gleefully attacks gender reveal parties and the expecting parents who host them, breaks down a powerful study about the surprising inaccuracy of our memories of particularly emotional or traumatic events, and recounts his own strange, personal (and probably...
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Trauma Porn & OnlyFans
In this episode Matt discusses the utterly demented new trend of TikTokers pretending to be Holocaust survivors (!!!), the larger but just-as-disturbing trend of ‘trauma porn’ on social media, the half-warranted outrage over Bella Thorne’s use of OnlyFans, and why Matt supports anyone and...
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Diapers & Dynamite
Matt dedicates a good portion of this episode to his complicated feelings about the enormously successful K-Pop boy band BTS— their international mega-stardom, their crazy fans, their upsetting plastic surgery, and their massive new English-language single ‘Dynamite’ (which he plays and sings…
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Pomp & Bullshit
Second consecutive day with a new episode! Woooohoooo! In this one Matt breaks down the RNC and all its depression-inducing insanity, and gets into a few other things as well, including but not limited to: a follow-up on the Lady Antebellum name-change controversy (which is somehow even worse…
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Friends & Punks
In today’s episode Matt discusses his friend who has gone full MAGA, why Matt is still friends with him even though he wants to punch him in his face 24/7, and why no one should stop being friends with anyone just because of their politics. Then he gets into a variety of topics, including but not...
About this show
With guests that range from icons to outliers, host Matt D’Elia talks to anyone who can help him understand things that confuse him, make him laugh, or just plain trouble him. If you ever look out at the world and think “what the hell is happening?” then this podcast is for you.
Hosted by
Matt D'Elia