Meat Sangria with Matt Lipari

In the final episode of Season 1, Matt talks about the life of a dog after it eats its owner, why grabbing little kids off the street is actually a good idea and how economical it is to fly with a dead body.

In this episode, Matt talks about why the age of consent should be 95 million, why we should all be lying to each other as much as possible and how being on your phone is actively killing everyone around you.

In this episode, Matt uses his iconic, soothing voice to talk about his medium rare index finger, why there are worse places to die than a McDonalds drive thru and why vegans are far more dangerous than we could have ever imagined. 

In this episode, Matt talks about the general population's rabid desire for garbage, why Michael Jackson needs to come back from the dead and set some things straight and why it's ok to ask Asian people if they plan on eating their pets.

In this episode, Matt carelessly gives away his grandmas secret Italian cookie recipe, tries to make light of a bunch of horrible events (he fails) and finally cracks the code to a perfect Vegas weekend.

In this episode, Matt talks about the downfall of his sad receding hairline, why getting married is less important than murdering people and why you better have a good plan before you decide to eliminate children. 

In this episode, Matt talks about his takedown of evil cat killing cousins, why going to college has become an activity for stupid people and why Katy Perry needs to stop getting into fights with disabled veterans. 

In this episode, Matt talks about his new vegan arch nemesis, why recruiting homeless people for a foreign coup is probably not a good idea, and how his childhood dancing partner became an internet meme. 

In this episode, Matt talks about the joys of pooping with the door open on Bourbon Street, why having a lemon shaped dingaling may be a key for financial success, and why women love to be asked if you can meet them.

In this episode, Matt talks about why the Secretary of Transportation needs a new throat, how Canada trained a lethal team of highly trained ostrich killers, and why a Lamborghini Huracan is a necessary business expense for your paving company.

In this episode, Matt tries on his new government mandated burqa, gives grandfatherly advice to young adults in need, and responds to allegations that he's an "alpha male with value."

In this episode, Matt talks about the love of his life getting married, why government conspiracies are at an all time high and how cool it is to brag about how much money you're making to your friends on twitter.

In this episode, Matt talks about his dream of being pawned off in a marriage market, why the best place to get fully naked is in a porta potty, and how fun it is to impregnate yourself in prison.

In this episode, Matt talks about flushing pounds of raw meat down the toilet, why men are obsessed with the quantities of liquid that come out of their bodies, and how eating airplane food just became a lot more dangerous.

In this episode, Matt talks about the (exaggerated) horrors of dating in New York City, why being a professional athlete and dating 7 women at once is a gentlemanly thing to do, and why the MAGA dentist may need to find new ways to torture liberal children.

In this episode, Matt talks about his lesbian spy kids cruise vacation, how he single handedly fought off the rapture and saved your soul and why we should all just give up and watch Tilly Norwood movies.

In this episode, Matt talks about the inevitable demise of society as we know it, why it's better for your health to sit on your couch and not run around like a fool, and why making your small children pay for their communist vacations is loser activity.

In this episode, Matt talks about the joy of stealing small objects from children, does some investigative work into why hot women keep appearing in the New York Post, and makes fun of guys who post lame videos with inspirational quotes.

In this episode, Matt talks about gay men who like bugs, the exciting extracurricular activities that go on at Burning Man, and why buying Pokemon cards with company money is a really good idea.

In this episode, Matt talks about his growing army of Tanzanian children, how Benson Boone is secretly pulling the strings of Americas favorite cookie chain, and why 600 thousand Chinese students should be forced to go to Southern New Hampshire University.

In this episode, Matt describes the joy of watching crabs slowly meet their end, talks about his amazing contributions to the African Chocolate Society and makes up an entire story about why gay marriage is on the chopping block.

In this episode, Matt talks about his near death scare with the Vegan community, why trying to provide for your family in Japan is shameful and why we should all be moving to Russia to fight on the front lines.

In this episode, Matt solves the school shooter crisis (more guns), talks about his expert hacking of the Tea app, and wonders why no one else has thrown their hat into the ring of the highly competitive Japanese baking song frenzy.

In this episode, Matt celebrates the 1 year anniversary of Meat Sangria! He also talks about why the person who estimates fossil prices needs to be fired and why biting people at your job is probably not a good idea (even if you're hungry).

In this episode, Matt talks about how good it must feel to beat the living hell out of a garbage can, why stealing salads probably isn't a good way to find your husband, and how amazing Donald Trump is at writing heartfelt letters to his friends.

In this episode, Matt talks about the latest and greatest in Air Conditioning technology, why he's an expert on winning friends and influencing people and why the Epstein list may contain some shocking names (the Easter Bunny is going away for a very long time)

In this episode, Matt talks about his weak, spineless immune system, his experience as the flower girl at Jeff Bezos' wedding and why the most dangerous person in your neighborhood may be a 10 year old girl. 

In this episode, Matt talks about surviving the hellish heat wave, what to do if you fall into an active volcano and how he plans on personally creating peace in the Middle East.

In this episode, Matt talks about bumblebee mind control, why he's finally ready to ditch Verizon for Trump Mobile and why grown men buying Labubu's should be treated like child predators. 

In this episode, Matt talks about his moldy diseased air conditioner, why the sanctity of porn is being destroyed by an ambitious blonde lady and why eating microplastics might make you better in bed. 

In this episode, Matt talks about the loss of an American hero, his evil plan to take over the world via bees and the time he convinced a middle schooler that he was getting some action on a park bench.

In this episode, Matt talks about confronting his future ex-wife at an open mic, why you should be spending at least 10 million dollars on your high school prom, and why you should never let a Turkish doctor touch more than your hair. 

In this episode, Matt talks about shitting your pants and lighting yourself on fire at an open mic, why fat people shouldn't be allowed to lose weight and why swiping on Tinder a thousand times a day while looking like Shrek is probably not a good idea.

In this episode, Matt talks about how hard it is to get rid of an opened box of tampons, why Fox News hosts need a special infusion of liquids to stay sane and why you can't release music on TikTok when everyone knows you as the goofy pizza guy.

In this episode, Matt talks about how much he loves Spectrum, how much he doesn't want to blow up the Spectrum headquarters and how the CEO of Spectrum should be given a giant trophy and an increase in his yearly salary for the amazing company he's helped create.

In this episode, Matt talks about how many dogs he injures on his daily walk around his neighborhood, why 100 men can in fact beat 1 gorilla if they arouse it enough, and why you need to touch cookies in their No No Square to know if they're worth eating.

In this episode, Matt talks about how Asian people in New York don't know how to clean crawfish, how disgusting and geriatric he has become at the ripe old age of 27, and why hot girls need to stop traveling and get a real job so that ugly guys can see the world too. 

In this episode, Matt talks about how sad he is that Katy Perry didn't get stuck in space, why breeding exotic pets may be his backup career and why Paul McCartney is dead and no one seems to care. 

In this episode, Matt talks about his grueling weekend building furniture, how excited his parents were to learn what an incel was and why there should never be a girls only bathroom in an all boys dorm.

In this episode, Matt and his brother talk about their favorite racist statues, why you probably shouldn't go see a comedy show with a homeless person, and why peeing in the shower is the best way to wind yourself down after a long day.

In this episode, Matt and Frankie Dragotto talk about how they escaped the Cutco knife pyramid scheme, how bad ChatGPT is at coming up with good molestation jokes and how they plan on hunting down and destroying all of their haters. Also Matt would like to apologize for ruining the audio on this episode, he probably wont (will) do it again. 

In this episode, Matt talks about the stress and strain of playing 11 women at once, why doing poppers on a date is kind of gay and why you should never go to a poorly organized party in eastern Europe.

In this episode, Matt talks about the horrors of traveling to New Jersey via public transportation, why you can't punish your kids by sitting on them (even if you're on Ozempic) and why every influencer on Earth is making a killing except for the ones you actually like. 

In this episode, Matt talks about his fear of roller coasters and meat jello, how finding a Cheeto shaped like a cartoon character could make you a very rich man, and why AI art is actually kind of cool if you twist your mind and think about it really really hard. 

In this episode, Matt talks about the demise and recovery of his favorite bald headed holy man, why you should invest in BLENDED BUTTERFLY coin, and how AMC theaters somehow bamboozled the public into thinking they lost their class action lawsuit. 

In this episode, Matt makes fun of the "Sexiest Man Alive" for having a stupid looking thumb (what a loser), why he has yet to receive an invitation to the Bop House and why hair color can instantly change how attractive someone is (hello Sabrina Carpenter).

In this episode, Matt talks about the horrors of going to Trader Joes on a Sunday, why a nude cruise is probably not as fun as it sounds and why meat head men are never going to be happy with your gym progress.

In this episode, Matt talks about vampires who may be pedophiles who may also be United States presidents, how he almost lost the most beloved thing in his life, and his quest for a 7 foot tall wife. 

In this episode, Matt talks about the secret love life of Barack Obama, why cleaning your iPhone charging port is the best decision you'll ever make, and why every swimming pool should have a designated section where you can relieve yourself.

In this episode, Matt talks about the dramatic return of TikTok and how it destroyed his teeth, why grade school teachers in New Jersey need to be put on watch, and why having a wet dream during No Nut November doesn't actually count.