PODCAST · tv
Melrose Place Cast
by Two Melrose Fans
Two friends locked in a heated debate: is Melrose Place "high art for the generations" or "a trashy 90's soap opera and that's okay."
Episodes
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5.18 - Great Sexpectations
A DOUBLE RAINBOW?!? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!? Err ... I mean a double episode! Melrose Place is getting out of their mid-season doldrums ... or perhaps working through it ... to set the stage for the season five finale and the mass exodus of og characters. We've already lost Jane and Jo, but by all...
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5.17 - Better Homes and Condos
Well, Teege and Mary are running the tape on Kimberly's runway on this show. Will she make it? Will she survive? How long will she last? Will she be brought back? Who knows?!? Well, Teege does, but he's not saying. #nospoilers This week, we have this odd jealousy thing bubbling up between Megan…
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Melrose Place 'Cast Investigates: The Apology
Well, dear listeners, it appears that we need to admit mistakes (made by our intern), take accountability (for our intern's screw up), and apologize to you (about our intern) for the long run of non-episode episodes.
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Melrose Place 'Cast - Resolutions
Heading into a new year, we imagine what the characters of Melrose Place are going to resolve going into the new year. Will Michael resolve to be faithful to his fourth/fifth wife? (Fourth woman, fifth marriage ... right?) Will Sydney operate as a legit businesswoman? Will Kimberly live through…
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Melrose Place 'Cast Investigates - Hannukah
Look, Mary agreed to do a holiday special episode of the podcast. However, she had no idea that I was going to switch up the actual holiday we were celebrating. So, please forgive the lack of cultural preparedness, as we stumble through our own ignorance of how poorly we understand one of the…
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Melrose Place 'Cast Investigates - Wicked
You're never going to believe what happened next. Melrose Place has installed an experimental Black Box theater in the apartment that Peepin' Ted used to creep on Amanda. Or: ... black box theatre. However you want to say it. Or read it. Anyway, for the first production, Melrose Place went big...
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Melrose Place 'Cast Investigates - St. Nick's Day
In the grand scheme of the world, it turns out that St. Nick's Day is only celebrated in a few cities in the country. That includes urban paradises such as New Ulm, Minnesota, Pella, Iowa, and for our purposes, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Of course, one of the Melrose Place women from indescript...
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Melrose Place 'Cast Investigates - Black Friday
In 2025, Black Friday is a relatively calm, largely online affair. But in the 90s? Chaos. Injury. Retail *war* with actual fists. So what do you think our season five girlies were like during Black Friday on Melrose Place? Your Melrose Super Fans provide the definitive, *cannon* answer.
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Melrose Place 'Cast Investigates - Thanksgiving Reunion
Time keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking, into the future. It's 2025. 30 years after 1995. So what would a Melrose Place reunion for Thanksgiving look like? Who has too many grandchildren? Who is Michael trying to sleep with? Who is just happy to be included? We got you.
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Melrose Place 'Cast Investigates - The Unicorn
What, exactly, would Americans do if we found an underground cavern of a vast unicorn society? By Americans, of course, we mean capitalist corporations. Because, at Mitt Romney taught us, corporations are people, my friend! Yes, the fast food industry would be grinding up those unicorn hoofs and...
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Melrose Place Soapbox - Leave Jane Alone!
In the archives of major American rhetorical moments, "Leave Britney Alone!" by Cara Cunningham (formerly known as Chris Crocker) is one of the most impactful. She taught a generation about the dangers of gossip magazines and criticism culture in one poorly-lit youtube video. Well, Cara is in…
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Melrose Corrective Ads - 1.1 and 1.2
We at the Melrose Place Cast LOVE accountability, even when it's being directed at us. And when we promised our sponsors to produce ONE MILLION DOWNLOADS ... and then failed to deliver ... well we were left with no other options than to put this out one more time. (In actuality - this is meant to...
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Melrose Place 'Cast Investigates: The Macarena
In real life, these episodes of Melrose Place existed at the same time as The Macarena. Why, oh why, have we not seen this epic dance trend show up on camera yet? Will it? Should it? We investigate.
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Melrose Place Soapbox - I Can See Everything
Whether you're talking about Sarah Palin or Sydney Andrews, one thing is sure, you're talking about chaos, flakiness, and feminine guiles. Unless it's sexist to say that, in which case delete that line. This week, we look at the soaring rhetoric of "I can see Russia from my house" and compare it…
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5.16 - The Eyes Of The Storm
Is Amanda even a main character any more? Michael found out about Kimberly's diagnosis, and is insisting on being by her side. This includes asking Megan to hide their new marriage from everyone until Kimberly gets raptured up or taken down. Sydney continues her relationship with Backstreet Boy...
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5.15.B - Jane Send Off
Our long Melrose Nightmare of boring storylines and unexciting drama has finally ended. Jane has been written off, probably never to return again. (wink, wink) We were so bored by Jane, we literally forgot to record and then publish this send off episode. So you got it late, but here it is!
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Melrose Place 'Cast Investigates: Matt's Hot, Doug's Not
In this special mini-sode to round out September (don't judge us this show is getting difficult to keep up with) - we are joined by our all-star special guest Christopher to discuss some erotic art he created and why Teege finds Matt Fielding *so hot* but Doug Savaant *so not*.
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Melrose Place 'Cast Investigates: Roast Beef
Official court proceedings, Arby's, MTG, Laura Loomer, all wrapped up in one episode!
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5.15 Escape from L.A.
WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST - CHRISTOPHER FROM MELROSE SHELTERING IN PLACE PODCAST! And, just like that, Jane's gone? For some reason the writers wanted to put Jane through hell to justify to the audience that she was leaving. But, like, did we need to be convinced to be okay with this turn of…
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Melrose Place Soapbox - The Farewell Address of Jo Beth Reynolds
George Washington famously stepped down from power and warned a young nation against dangerous alliances. Jo Reynolds did the same, only with more denim and a stolen baby who was breastfed by Kimberly Shaw. In this gripping farewell, Jo says goodbye to Melrose Place, and sanity itself, with a...
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5.14 The Accidental Doctor
Oh, I get it now, Peter's an accidental doctor because he did a surprise tracheotomy or whatever that word is. Thus ends the Peter paralyzed by fear storyline. This should help his relationship with Amanda. Matt and Dan take a dark turn as Dan punches Matt in the face in a scene that was oddly...
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Melrose Place Soapbox - Yes We Can't
Barack Obama united a nation with three simple words: Yes We Can. Rhonda Blair divided a dinner party with one simple action: bringing pasta and accidentally revealing Jane’s attempted abortion. In this episode, we honor President Obama’s call to hope and possibility, then pivot to Rhonda’s call…
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5.13 Crazy Love
Well, we can only assume that the episode title writer was on vacation or got involved with Kimberly Shaw because there's no clear indication what this title had to do with the episode. Taylor continues as though she was written as two characters - being oddly obsessive with Peter but normal in…
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Melrose Place Soapbox - Ain't I A Creative Director?
In 1851, Sojourner Truth delivered a soul-shaking speech demanding that women, especially Black women, be seen, heard, and honored. In Season 3 of Melrose Place, Alison Parker delivered a similar plea… when she skipped an entire week of work to cry about a voicemail from Billy. This episode...
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5.12 Quest For Mother
Is this title Shakespearean dumb or just dumb? Either way, Jane is desperately seeking mommy, using a whole lot of insensitive terminology about whether Sydney is her "real" sister or how she can find her "real" mother. Teege tees up on this bullshit. Kimberly continues her weird separation game...
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Robot Remix: Choose Your Own Adventure #1
In the first of a new approach, we took robot remix, and asked it to guide Mary through a series of gutwrenching choices. Did robot misunderstand the phrase "robot remix" and make this all sci fi supernatural high tech matrix-y? Yes. We'll fix it next time.
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5.11 Sole Sister
If you had asked us to predict what would cause the longest episode of our podcast ever - we would not have said it was Jane searching for her mother. Truth be told, it's because we started recording much earlier in the evening and felt totally unrestrained. Anyway, we got some gay drama at the...
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4.32.F Tournament of Guest Stars (Season Four)
Well, well, well. Let's look back and revisit the joy that was season four. The guest stars, and there were plenty of them, who left us too soon. But which ones would we most want to spend some more time with, if we could? Well, we'll work through this the hard way - and by that, we mean, we're...
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5.10 Nice Work If You Can Get It
Well, Gail is here, and she is bored. Jane's adopted, as revealed by blood types. Alison doesn't want Jake telling her what to do with her career. Peter is getting stage fright in the same room he tried to murder Amanda Woodward. Kyle comes off as toxic to Gail, who has no backstory, and we can't...
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Robot Remix - Great Relocation (The Exodus)
Well, when a plan doesn't come together as intended, what happens? Chaos, insurgency, murder, arson, death, destruction, and perhaps one character who sneaks away to plot revenge and a sequel...
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Robot Remix: The Great Relocation (Cultural Exchange)
Let the record show, we tried very intentionally to be culturally sensitive to a tribe of people who refuse to let us get to know them, to understand their beliefs, customs, and values. Every time we ask, it's just arrow to the chest. Which certainly makes for an interesting pool-side mixer.
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Robot Remix: The Great Relocation (The Arrival)
Well, by hook or by crook, these two crazy scamps got a group of North Sentinelese to settle into Melrose Place. Hijinx ensue.
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Robot Remix: The Great Relocation (First Contact)
We're dealing with first contact, and immediate regret. This week, we take a little dip into a North Sentinelese pond and imagine what would happen if Kimberly and Sydney rolled up on this untouched island.
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Robot Remix - The Great Relocation (The Mission)
Well, we're going through with it. All common sense and cultural sensitivity available to us is needed to get through this five-week series. This week, we're zeroing in on *what* Kimberly is doing, how Sydney fits in, and *why* it may just be her most humanitarian work yet.
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Robot Remix: The Great Relocation (Teaser)
Well, we're doing what we normally do - taking the half-way point of the year to SLOW DOWN the recording schedule. What's that? You want to know how we could slow it down more than we have? Fair question. Either way, we wanted to give you some hot, fresh, Melrose Place content. Inspired by this...
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Robot Remix: Jimmy Jumps In
On a more professional podcast, Teege was chastised for finding a way to work Jimmy Carter into discussions of Melrose Place. Challenge accepted, Nathan.
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5.9 Farewell, Mike's Concubine
One week before "the most boring episode of Melrose Place ever" - we have a rather good one. We learned the real tea behind Kimberly and Megan, and Michael literally becomes a gift to a woman. Amanda and Taylor keep fighting, and Peter gets Amanda a $10 mood ring. This story line is on a slow…
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4.32.E - The Tournament of Sadness (Season Four)
Okay, let's think about it - who had the saddest story arc of the entire season? To come to a conclusion, Mary and I debate (and remember!) all that happened in season four, to figure out who came out on bottom. There are definitely some upsets. The brackets (in threes - with the third name…
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5.8 Mission Interpersonal
Well, now the full origin story of Victoria Taylor McBride (or whatever her given first name was - we already forgot) is coming to light - but she's still deceiving Peter. And Peter is lying to Amanda, and immediately kicking himself about it. Jake, Alison, and Jane. Whatever. Jane has…
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Robot Remix: Kimberly's Beginnings
Before she arrived in Los Angeles, Kimberly Shaw was a promising young med student from Ohio. Much like Wicked, let's go back in time, and explore how Kimberly became the person we've come to know, love, and fear, from Melrose Place.
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5.7 Young Doctors In Heat
Okay, we get it - these episodes are getting a bit on the long side. That said, Melrose Place is adding layers of depth and content and sudsy trashy soap. This week alone, we find out that Megan Lewis has a magical blouse that reveals all Michael needs to know. Kimberly is dangerously sick. Mary...
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2.31.E - Tournament of Guest Stars (Season Two)
Catching up on the early seasons, join us as we splash back in time to simpler days: season two of Melrose Place. Which guest star would we MOST want to join us in our podcasting studio? The answer may surprise you. We had 17 people to choose from, so we built a 16 person/team bracket, with one...
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5.6 Jane's Addiction
Well, it's been a while since Mary and I recorded, so we got a little long and rambly. But, Jane continues to be interesting, which is distressing. She is also stalking Jake, and she gets busted. Of course, we are a little shaky, because it was Billy of all people that cracked the case. Weird.…
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Melrose Place 'Cast Investigates: Melrose-A-Palooza
Since we were so fortunate to have our resident Gen Z expert join us to discuss 5.5 - we posed an intriguing query: If you had to spend a weekend with the characters of Melrose Place, who are you taking where? Which character would be serving at the Chappel Roan concert? Who is more of a…
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Melrose Place 'Cast Investigates - The Drunk Uncle
Listen ... You just want to hear this story about what's happening in the good town of West Allis, Wisconsin.
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5.5 Un-Janed Melody
Not the worst title they've had in a while. We are to believe that Jane's brief love affair with Jake last season was so deep that she'd now stand by and watch Jake and Alison burn in a fire she accidentally caused. But she did not get this obsessed over Michael and his magical ... okay. Taylor…
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2.31.D - Tournament of Sadness (Season Two)
We are back for another flashback episode - this time digging into the archives of our notes to remember what happened to our main characters in season two of Melrose Place. Which main character had the *worst* time of it in season two? Join us on this walk down memory lane as we work our way...
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5.4 Hunka, Hunka Burnin Love
There is no apostrophe in this title and yes that is absolutely incorrect but we do not make the laws of America. And tbh, if we did, we wouldn't start with Melrose Place titles. So Burnin Love it is, even if the red squiggly line appears. Big news - Jane sets Alison's apartment on fire and fade…
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Models, Inc. 'Cast Episode 29.B: The Tournament of Sadness / Guest Stars
Well, here's what happened - we finished the Models, Inc. 'Cast, with sadness in our hearts, thinking we would never again enjoy the entertainment of this arm of the fictional Melrose Place / 90210 / Models, Inc. universe. Alas, building towards our final episodes of the entire podcast, probably...
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5.3 Moving Violations
How hard do you have to convince a police officer that he should "shoot to kill"? That's the high art Melrose Place tackled this week. The answer: not very hard. Especially if they're hunky but skittish park rangers. Also, Mary points out the traumatic experience Sam has dealing with Jane and...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Two friends locked in a heated debate: is Melrose Place "high art for the generations" or "a trashy 90's soap opera and that's okay."
HOSTED BY
Two Melrose Fans
CATEGORIES
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Melrose Place Cast have?
Melrose Place Cast currently has 288 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Melrose Place Cast about?
Two friends locked in a heated debate: is Melrose Place "high art for the generations" or "a trashy 90's soap opera and that's okay."
How often does Melrose Place Cast release new episodes?
Melrose Place Cast publishes regularly with 288 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Melrose Place Cast?
You can listen to Melrose Place Cast on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Melrose Place Cast?
Melrose Place Cast is created and hosted by Two Melrose Fans.
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