Messy Middle By Kay

This week, I’m talking about careers, the need to “have it all figured out,” the fear of starting over, and what happens when the dream job doesn’t feel like a dream at all. From au pairing to running a small business, chasing titles in corporate, and now finding balance as an executive PA while training as a Pilates instructor, my path has been anything but linear.In this episode, I share how I’ve learned to let go of the status game, why fulfilment matters more than fancy titles, and small steps you can take if you’re feeling stuck in a job that doesn’t serve you anymore. It’s honest, a little messy, and hopefully a reminder that you’re not behind you’re just building your version of success!

This week’s episode is a little catch-up after two weeks away. I share what’s been going on during my holiday and how it felt to take a step back. I also get real about some body changes I’ve been experiencing, from fluctuating weight to dealing with breakouts and how that’s affected the way I see myself, especially as I work toward becoming a certified Pilates instructor.There’s so much pressure online around having a “Pilates body,” and I open up about how I’ve compared myself to that image and what it’s been like to slowly let go of those expectations. This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt like they didn’t “look the part,” whether in fitness, career, or just everyday life.The messy middle is about being honest in the in-between seasons and right now, that means embracing my body as it is, showing up even when it’s uncomfortable, and reminding myself that Pilates (and life) really is for every body.

Join me on this episode with one of my most incredible friends. She talks about her journey finding her passion and the not so pretty side of things. From going through an existential crisis feeling lost and unsure what her passion was to taking grade 10,11 and 12 Maths and Science in one year in order to get into her degree (and crushing it). She talks about the loneliness that comes with sacrificing time with friends and family and how she found balance in choosing HERSELF for her future career.She is such an inspiration and really embodies following your heart and giving herself grace whilst allowing yourself to reach for your dreams!

For years, I've bounced between restriction, obsession, and giving up when it came to my body and food.I never had an official eating disorder, but definitely had an unhealthy relationship with eating and it left me always feeling guilty and like i was never doing enough. In this episode I open up about my journey with restrictive diets, appetite suppressants, gym shame and what its taken to to start healing my relationship with food and myself. If you have ever felt stuck, in the cycle or just tired of punishing your body, this episode is for you, and I hope you feel less alone and that it resonates.

In this episode, I open up about what it’s felt like to slowly become less social, to be the one who leaves early, skips the party, or says no altogether. I talk about the guilt that comes with not being the “fun friend” anymore and how that version of me no longer fits the life I’m trying to build.From learning to listen to my body and emotions, to choosing quiet nights over chaos, I share the unspoken side of softening, slowing down, and letting go of the pressure to always show up, smile, and drink another shot. This one’s for anyone who’s ever felt like they’re outgrowing old versions of themselves and learning to be okay with that, whilst still making space for the version youre becoming and maybe a couple glasses of wine ;)

Loosing him Finding me. In this raw and deeply human episode of The Messy Middle, I sit down with my friend Megan and she opens up about the heartbreak shes been through and how she navigates finding her feet again. We talk about the identity loss that comes with breakups and stepping into your body, what it means to choose yourself and how healing is not always linear. Whether you are navigating a breakup, rebuilding your sense of self or just feeling a little lost - I hope this episode creates a sense of clarity and the feeling that you are not alone!

Coming off antidepressants: This isn’t medical advice it’s my story.After six months on SSRIs, I began asking deeper questions:✨ What is my body trying to tell me?✨ What does emotional support really look like for me?✨ Can I be okay even when things aren’t perfect?I talk about what led me to go on them, how they helped, and why I chose to wean off with the support of a naturopath. I also share what’s helped me stay steady (breathwork, journaling (when I can), magnesium, saffron, gentleness, and space to just feel.)If you’re navigating a similar season or simply curious about emotional healing, this one’s for you!

*This episode contains personal reflections on reproductive health and mentions Ectopic Pregancy*In this solo episode, I open up about my decision to come off hormonal birth control including my experience with the IUD that led to an ectopic pregnancy, the emotional and physical toll of different pills, and what I wish I knew earlier.This isn’t just about birth control, it’s about tuning into your body, reclaiming your cycle, and healing in a world that often disconnects us from our own rhythm.Whether you’re on the pill, thinking about stopping, or just curious about your hormones, I hope this gives you the honesty and support I wish I had when I began this chapter!